ummm...HI!! (waves frantically)

(Yes, there are two of us)

Well, I'm Death Tori (if you've read our profile on Fanfiction.net, you'll know how this is gonna turn out)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! (jumping up and down) I'M DEATH AAYA AND I'M HYPED UP ON SUGAR!!

Oh, sh~~...(smacks Aaya upside the head ) WHO GAVE YOU SUGAR?!

Sam did. He wanted to piss you off.

Uh-huh...I'll be right back...(picks up scythe and walks off) ((screams are heard in background))

Hmm... Well, that can't be too good... (pulls out chocolate bar and munches on it) mmm... chocolatey goodness...

(walks back in with now-bloody scythe and random amputated appendages strung on a rope) ...Hey, wait a minute, WHERE'D THE CHOCOLATE COME FROM?!

(hides chocolate behind back) what chocolate?

(drops string of body parts and turns around to head back out door with scythe raised) SAM, I DON'T CARE IF YOU DO RANK HIGHER THAN ME, I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!!

(turns to readers) I bet cha 20 bucks you're wonderin what kinda crack we're on!!

(comes back in, calmly covered in blood) Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah, I'm Death Tori, and this (points to Aaya with scythe) is Death Aaya. We are Death's Apprentices. Any questions?

(to help avoid further confusion on who was just talking when, just start out with Tori and then alternate between Tori and Aaya)

Due to boredom at the library and the temporary absence of Aaya, I feel the need to add her favorite random little things, so here ya go:

Never laugh when a hearse goes by
for you may be the next to die.
They'll wrap you up in a big white sheet,
and then they'll bury you six feet deep.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
the worms play pinochle on your scalp.
Your eyes, they turn a slimy green,
the pus, it runs like whipping cream.
And you, without a spoon!! ~evil cackle~

One dark night,
when the moon was bright,
two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and shot to death the two dead boys.