Bambi Queen of the Off-Black
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Joined 01-30-08, id: 598041, Profile Updated: 06-05-12
Author has written 10 stories for Humor, School, Fable, General, Essay, Humor, Horror, and Romance.

I am Bambi, Queen of the Off-Black.

That is all, filthy peasantry! You may leave.

No, really. Go away now.

(Are you still here? I'm calling the cops. Stalker!)

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A Pretty, Broken Thing reviews
She's a dichotomy; innocent and savage. She ruins all she touches. You wonder why you love her, even as she ruins you.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 669 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/25/2013 - Complete
I Love Rant reviews
A load of mockingly serious fuckery. I wouldn't read it. I use excessive language. Today: How Bambi discovered she was clinically a nutjob. Note: Until the inevitable day this is deleted, it will stay here, where it began, and will not be transferred to a blog. Like an annoying, unwanted, foul-mouthed donkey.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,728 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 9/29/2009
The Furby Must Die
A re-written, first-person narrative about the worst thing to happen to anyone, ever, of all time. Of course, yokels will always laugh and think it's a downright hoot, but they just don't know better. No, they will never know ... the horror.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,664 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Complete
The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Gary reviews
Ever wonder what a zombie's actually thinking? Gary probably isn't like most zombies, but most of his co-workers agree it's the best thing that ever happened to him, even though half of his face is missing.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,751 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Complete
The Lesser of All Evils reviews
I chopped its head off but it's still staring at me. With its beady little eyes it watches my every movement, but with no malice, nor hate, no jeering sneer, only innocence.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,260 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Complete
On Bullshit reviews
There's this beef I have. A beef with being full of shit.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,539 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Monday
-was the worst day to die on." Flash-fiction.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Complete
mink & lace reviews
Cinderella flash-fiction.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Complete
Imagination reviews
Here's to you, nameless person that I hate. This is my glass to you.
Poetry: School - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Complete
V reviews
I have now publicly assaulted the English language with my favorite letter.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete