clarity-eatworld
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Joined 03-13-08, id: 603288, Profile Updated: 09-04-10
Author has written 16 stories for Young Adult, Fantasy, Life, Love, Humor, Romance, and Humor.

Do you remember when, we said we'd never end?
We won't back down, this time around.
Stop where you are and wish little things couldn't kill this.
Count down from ten, and we could be back to go again.
- Framing Hanley 'Back To Go Again'

This. Is a profile. That's right. I said it. This is a profile of epic proportions simply because it's a ... profile! cues audience laughs

Phew. Now that we got that out of the way, I can get busy with the important stuff. Like, stories. Or, in my case, oneshots, hiatus'd stories, and the quote collections. Hee. That was a happy "hee", by the way. Just so you know. Ahem, movingly swiftly on ...

I just finished Crazy Is What Crazy Do really recently. I'm rather sad to see it go. Hehe. Well, I have been working on it for a year, now. But never fear! I decided to write a squeakqual for it, based on, uhm, the same stuff. Now presenting:

The Venus Flytrap!

People who appeared regularly in CRAZY IS WHAT CRAZY DO:

Myself a.k.a. Dani. (She of the Awesome, Danillama, blah blah blah ...)
Bingo (She's modest. Oh, so modest ...)
Amy (A diehard Twilight fan whose planning to live forever. Going good so far.)
Matt (A Killer Sheep fanatic, the man knows things. Mostly about sheep ...)
Michelle (Went to Scotland for two weeks. No one noticed ...)
Cait (The PM of Sarcasm... She was a weird eight-year-old ...)
Jess (God knows ... Really. She is indescribable. o.O)
Becky (Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. Until they piss her off ...)
Robert (Likes to be right. Is usually wrong ...)
Rhys (Rude as they come. Moving on in life, and leaving us to face the world alone ... Meanie!)
Liz (An aspiring writer, she's going places. First stop - her bedroom, it needs tidying.)
Nate (...It's best not to question his motives.)
Mostafa (Bingo had to like me for two years! This guy totally took the back route into Crazy...)

People who appear regularly in THE VENUS FLYTRAP:

Myself (...I'm back. And I'm armed! ... With a pencil.)
Bingo
(She will offer a large imaginary cake/stake to whoever guesses her real name. It's not Ringo.)
Matt (He With The Knowledge Of Killer Sheep. Also, not a killer sheep.)
Jess (... She's just scary. God knows about her.)
Nate (We won't talk about him. Ever. I mean it. Ahem, moving on ...)
Cait (Recently admitted to a liking of shoulderblades. Those poor shoulderblades ...)
Becky (Avid fan of manga and characters-who's-names-rhyme-with-flash ... You know who I'm talking about!)

About me:

There isn't much to know. My name is Dani. I live in England, and I'm weird. I love rock music, and pop punk (Especially Jimmy Eat World, they win!), and I dislike crazy people. Ahem. I love authors like J.K.Rowling, Darren Shan, and, recently, Dan Brown, as well the unmentionables like Stephenie Meyer; I read manga, like Death Note, whenever I can. TV-Wise, I'm a Gossip Girl fan, and I adore teen spies, for no reason other than they get cool gadgets. As for movies, I like stuff like Stardust (The book was ... alright), and The Covenant. Aha.
My laptop is called Arthur, and my netbook is called Josh. They're like my writing buddies. I often listen to music on my MP3, lovingly called Jimmy, and then save everything on one of my USB pens: Dan or Chris. Why is all my stuff named, you might ask. Well, I get bored ...

That's it, really. I'm odd, I write quotes out rather than full stories. What more do you want to know? Sigh.

So bye-time? What do I quote? Secondhand Serenade's Goodbye? 10 years' So Long, Goodbye?

You can't take anything with you?

Wow, what a The Host-like attitude. I'm not saying bye now. -.-

BYE!

(Dammit!)

Edit: Well, I guess this is growing up!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Story You Shouldn't Know by Bingo reviews
/Perfection does not make allowances. Perfection doesn't weaken. And Anna would./ Anna's life is pleasant enough, until she meets Josh. He's charming, smart, and knows everything about everyone. Unfortunately, he's also very, very evil.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 187,518 - Reviews: 995 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Complete
Unexpectedly I Have You by Wrightersgirl reviews
Love is sweet. But Revenge is sweeter. Everything is tumbling for Emma until she meets Aiden the boy with the sexy laugh who seems to be always there when she needs a hero. But there's something she doesn't know about Aiden...something she can't remember.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 68,320 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 2/8/2011 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Complete
Another Year, Another Llama Ages by MadCatta reviews
Dear Dani. We wrote you a Llama thingy! Enjoy this for your Llamabirthday.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,327 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/28/2010 - Complete
Can Girls Get Testicular Cancer? by Shiori Miko reviews
A collection of the random and idiotic sayings of me and those around me.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 50,704 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 4/6/2007
The Birthday Llama by MadCatta reviews
Erm, well, it's Dani's birthday, so me and Deena thought we'd write something! Enjoy!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,680 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Complete
11:59 by Shini02 reviews
He calls her Cinderella.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/16/2009 - Complete
Why a story has an audience by concerto49 reviews
Ever wondered why certain stories get more attention than others? Here’s a list of reasons why.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/17/2009
Of Love & Lyrics by UnkindlyDivinely reviews
Lucia Constantine is poor, penniless, and stranded in a foreign land. Lucy's Wish is a famous up-and-coming rock band in said land. When the spitfire meets the band hot enough to outburn Hell itself, sparks are destined to fly - but with who?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 146,161 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 6/22/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Complete
Why no one reads your story? by concerto49 reviews
Think you've got a good story but no one's reading them? Here's a list of reasons why.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 11,760 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 1/25/2008 - Complete
A Pocketful of Poppies by templeton21 reviews
She had the saddest smile he had ever seen and for some reason, he was determined to get her to produce a real one. It didn’t matter that they were two completely different people. She intrigued him and he wasn’t one to back down from something he wanted.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 863 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Complete
Take a Bow by Beena reviews
A rant about having writers block, if you've suffered from it you'll know what I mean.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Complete
please let him be gay by thetruebrunette reviews
the title is self-explanatory. LOL :D
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/26/2009
The Raccoon Wars by McQuinn reviews
REMOVED She's your "ordinary" teenager and he's the school's new psychotic jackass. They both live to kill and kill to live...kind of. But you know it's love when it's midnight and they're together, mixing a cyanide solution by candlelight.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,062 - Reviews: 466 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 373 - Updated: 2/3/2009 - Published: 8/28/2006
Love Has No Boundaries by Amy-Nicole-Cullen reviews
A bitter-sweet suicide. I felt emotional when I wrote this.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Complete
Faded Cries by Amy-Nicole-Cullen reviews
A Poem about the ignorance of love.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Complete
Penguins & Polka Dotted Scarves by toffeecakesxox reviews
gift!fic for Priya. She knows him like the back of her hand. Too bad she doesn't know it is him till she falls out of the sky . . . and he catches her. ONESHOT.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,607 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Complete
Kill for You by Amethyst Asheryn reviews
When a game of laser tag goes wrong, four best friends end up in another dimension where the only law is kill or be killed. the catch: The only way home is to be the last one of the four standing. Chapter thirteen up.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 31,648 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/26/2008 - Published: 7/29/2008
Mouth Raped by buzzgirl37 reviews
That tongue should be banned. Banned from kissing. Especially kissing me. No. No he didn’t kiss me, he mouth raped me. Raped my mouth. In broad daylight." - Very Quick One-Shot
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 652 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Complete
Where's Adalia? by Starleaf reviews
Not really an essay; it's a short article on the band Madina Lake I wrote for my High School newspaper. Unfortunately, it didn't make it in, but about 8 articles by the editor in chief did. Hmmm...
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 770 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/19/2008 - Complete
The Day I Stalked Him by Vena Cava reviews
(One-Shot) 12:05pm. Target caught masturbating in bathroom stall. 007 status: in adjacent stall, hyperventilating.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,796 - Reviews: 995 - Favs: 2,282 - Follows: 198 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Complete
Talented at Denial by Dot Cubed reviews
-"And it’s not even a date, like I’m sure you’re probably thinking. It’s just...dinner, between two friends, that looks like a date for personal purposes.” -TAKEN DOWN FOR EDITING-
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Complete
Can a Vampyre Love a Vampire? by GAGfiction reviews
In a world where human/vampire couplings are the norm, can a vampire's forbidden love for a vampire exist? Jab at Vampire/Human romance stories.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 576 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Complete
Five Afflictions of Online Fiction Writers by Mockingbyrd's Tune reviews
There are multiple epidemics among us. Make sure you are not infected!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 5/19/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
I Want To Eat Your Brain by Cazrolime reviews
Rhyming. I want to give you lilies white, and roses glowing red... V. v. romantic. Frsrs.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Complete
Candid Moments by found.eventually reviews
“How do you know that you’ve fallen in love with someone?” She asked meekly. He raised his eyebrows. “I know that I’m in love when I fart really loudly, and the first thought that pops into my mind is ‘damn, if only she was here to hear it’.” one-shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,157 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 27 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
The Thing about Guardian Angels by found.eventually reviews
“Wait!” Jonathan ran towards me, again. He tripped over thin air and fell, again. He looked up from the ground with a boyish smile. “My horoscope said that if I fell down twice in front of a girl I like, she’ll fall in love with me!” One-shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,044 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete
What I've Learned by Semicharmed love
I've learned so much this past year....about other people...and about myself. A letter to a friend, about the hurt caused, and about moving on.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Complete
My Invisible Friend by Patrick007 reviews
a dark little poem. please r&r.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/13/2007 - Complete
How to Write a Review by Burnt Bread reviews
Story in process of being rewritten. Part 1 is complete.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,729 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/20/2007 - Published: 12/23/2005
Little Black Book by RainRider reviews
a shorty, not really worth reading. ah well.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/20/2007 - Complete
Typical, I wish by Bottled reviews
She was a nobody, he was the most popular guy... yet somehow love found them together...' Sound familiar? Well, I'm obsessed with those stories, and would die to be one of those girls. But when my love story did begin, I found it to be... quite different.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,520 - Reviews: 982 - Favs: 641 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 6/22/2005
What About God? by DefineBeauty reviews
this poem is telling that God is always there and go to Him for everything
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/19/2004
I is a Vewy Gud Powit by lebuffle reviews
Downt yew beleive me?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Published: 9/4/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Finally, llamas! reviews
Whatevs, bro. Happy Birthday. :3
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,141 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Complete
The Venus Flytrap reviews
Sequel to Crazy. It lives on like a living venus flytrap! More crazy, more randomness, more killer sheep ...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,471 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 9/3/2010
Without a Mention of Llamas reviews
No, really. Who's idea was it not to mention llamas in this? Oh, well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNIG.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,249 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Complete
Llamalicious reviews
More llamalicious stuff. There is no mention of llamas in this ... Happy Birthday, Cait!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,225 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Complete
Crazy is What Crazy do reviews
WARNING: May make you laugh to death - no refunds. The funny moments between my friends and I, together for your enjoyment. Contains random moments, Killer Sheep, cupboards, and llamas...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 18,184 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 8/29/2009 - Complete
That Other Birthday Llama reviews
Cait's older, oh no! A little present from Dani and Deena to Cait on her birthday.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,275 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Complete
Tom's Journey reviews
Tom's supposed to be like any other guy his age. But he's not. In between his nightmares about his dead brother, and a new school, how is he supposed to ignore HER? "Sometimes the one thing you want, you can't have."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,005 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009
The Bucket List reviews
//oneshot// Today is 'Annoy Deena Day' apparently, because that's what everyone is doing. He asked me what I was writing, so I told him. But things got weird when he made his own version...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,809 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Complete
Pure Pointlessness II: Apple Pie reviews
I got REALLY bored. So bored, in fact, I decided to write a sequel.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Complete
Back reviews
Second in the trilogy. Seq. KOBK. "Hey, Dani. We're back." Her voice was lyrical. I smiled happily. Wow! ...Then I fainted. R&R
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,410 - Reviews: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 8/29/2008
Kill or be killed reviews
We all have best friends. What if a crazy new rule required you to turn on them? What if you were forced to carry a gun? What if it was a game...? "Nothing in life is fair, you know that..."
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,753 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 5/13/2008 - Complete
Pure Pointlessness reviews
You know when you feel BORED? And you want to write something marginally funny? This is one of those times…
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Complete
The terrors of the night reviews
Two people, one male, one female, why are they together, was it coincedence...or fate? But how did they get there and what exactly has Wyatt got to do with it? R&R
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,052 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/15/2008 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Complete
Friends reviews
One for Rhys. One for Elizabeth. My friends, they've loved; they've lost; They've thrown grapes in the playground. This time - I've written something for them. Reviews always appreciated.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/15/2008 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Complete
That Girl reviews
That girl, over there... she spread all those horrible lies... That girl, by the bench...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Complete
Darkness reviews
The darkness closes around me I cannot breathe
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Complete
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