THE BNZ
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Joined 03-30-08, id: 605761, Profile Updated: 07-28-12

Hey, I'm beansie. I write occasionally; I read more often. But when I do write, I like to scare people.

Find me on tumblr.

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Glances Into the Minds of the Unfortunate by DevonnyAuriel reviews
I suddenly developed the ability of telepathy with men. But not charming men. No, I can only communication with nerds. And if that wasn't bad enough they've now deemed me their matchmaker. God, just smite me now.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 28 - Words: 150,639 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 4/13 - Published: 10/5/2009
Romeo by LeKat reviews
Jules prefers the cyber world to the real one, until she meets someone who could flip her perspective upside down.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 142,511 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/18/2013 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Complete
Farro by Arreana reviews
PUBLISHED! She is the kidnapped prisoner of an assassinated priest. He is the assassin. They are thrown together, tortured slum girl and embittered Crown Prince, upon a perilous road to freedom. COMPLETE!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 121,390 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Complete
Heart Lotion SPF 20 by Vena Cava reviews
The moment Honey Smith sets foot in South Merritt Academy, she unknowingly becomes the target of an unspoken challenge, setting into motion a self-fulfilling prophecy that will forever change the lives of South Merritt’s Elite Five.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 127,124 - Reviews: 2185 - Favs: 1,650 - Follows: 1,869 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 6/6/2008
Vespertine by this wild abyss reviews
I was eleven when my third husband died. The people thought I was cursed but they didn't understand. They didn't understand that I was more than a wife—more than a woman. The Goddess had chosen me. / SKoW Best Non-Romance Winner / Featured on Project Fiction
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,167 - Reviews: 344 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 2/5/2012
Sweepers by Minty F reviews
A sweeper is defined as any man that can sweep a woman off of her feet. Instead, Luke Sawyer nearly shoves me to the ground. Either he's a complete jerk, or love just got a whole lot more violent.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 35 - Words: 122,934 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Complete
Sabotage by Mardy Bum reviews
They were untouchable. The seven deadly sins of her school had destroyed her brother. Now, she was out to destroy them. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 47,683 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 386 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
Sulfur by Arreana reviews
PUBLISHED! Conclusion to "Farro" - She's out to right her wrongs, and he, to save a city. Together, they must travel through mountains no one was meant to cross and into a land no one was meant to see. COMPLETE!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,860 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 7/29/2011
Antelope by Faithless Juliet reviews
Deep green under the yarn of your skin where veins splinter up.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/2/2012
Misdial by StormDancer reviews
It was going to be the cliche, jock and popular girl meet and live happily ever after. But a different boy picked up the phone and changed everything. Now he's making her doubt everything she knew about herself, and she's showing him a new kind of love.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,633 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 9/1/2011 - Published: 11/14/2010
Skin Deep by Pinkamoo reviews
“My God, she can speak, hallelujah,” he grins, winking when he notices I’m looking at him from the corner of my eye under the false sense of security that he couldn’t see me doing it behind my hair , “names Maverick, hon, and I’m very intimidating.”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 57,822 - Reviews: 274 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010
Apple Peel by Faithless Juliet reviews
The peel parts from the body, sinks between webs and wicker threads.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/17/2011 - Complete
The Sylvian Outlaws by Harmonic Discord reviews
Lies. Secrets. Hidden doors. Court intrigue. Forced to become a slave at the royal castle, Arnae finds herself entangled in a political chess game... where she just might be the pawn.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 247,431 - Reviews: 548 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 1/28/2008
Away With Jenny Wren by faerie-gumdrops reviews
Mikey was in love and it killed him-a big bang and my best friend was blood and memories. Now, the new girl is flashing her star-spangled knickers at me as I look down the barrel of a fairy's gun. I guess the only thing to do is enjoy the ride - REMOVED
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 29 - Words: 2,697 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 4/20/2010 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Complete
Arkham Academy by Michael Panush reviews
In the Great Depression, 12-year-old Hubert Huxley's family has moved to the town of Arkham, Massachusetts. But it soon becomes apparent that Arkham is a haven for flesh-hungry monsters, eldritch horrors, and the deranged cults intent of releasing them.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 21 - Words: 166,871 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/30/2010 - Published: 9/9/2009 - Complete
The Inexplicable State of Being There by big.break.and.laryngitis reviews
Brody Hansen and I, we had a system. I didn't like him and he didn't like me, but we both liked watching each other undress. That's just what happened when you gave good-looking, hormonal teenagers bedroom windows that faced each other. Full sum inside.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 78,144 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 1,360 - Follows: 592 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
The Band Geek's Dictionary by Ryette reviews
SLASH. What's a band geek to do when he has a crush on his best friend, fantasies about making out on marimbas, and a nosy sister who bribes him with snickerdoodle cookies? Band sure is wild! Like American Pie Band Camp, only better. Really.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 91,377 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Complete
Modern Magic by Zi Jian reviews
A high fantasy genre parody set in a modern world.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 104,893 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Complete
Wagnerian overtures of Isolde by Faithless Juliet reviews
Truth be told, she has no face in the dimness, just o-shaped lips, long, lingering arms cascading violently in their search.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 239 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
False Facades by Maeven reviews
Sam Westlane is the new kid in the famous all boys Crestan High School for the rich and the spoiled ... There's only one problem. Sam is a girl.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,525 - Reviews: 7163 - Favs: 5,809 - Follows: 798 - Updated: 1/5/2009 - Published: 9/5/2003 - Complete
Zachary by Jumping Jack Flash reviews
All Cynthia's logical detachment can't keep her from being drawn into Zachary's web of weirdness. T for language and disturbing images.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,901 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
The Unhappiness Factor by lesseninglessons reviews
A darkly satirical look at a future society where unhappiness is a crime. Co-written by Alex Moore and Erik Olsen. Complete
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 36 - Words: 115,277 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 10/8/2005
belgium by Tyndall Blue reviews
laughing, we dodge security guards
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Complete
My View Of The World by WyrdWolf reviews
A number of things that I must speak of. Not for the sensitive or defensive.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,909 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/14/2007 - Published: 5/5/2006
Rap Intellectualized by Lee Harvey Kennedy reviews
Many people claim that rap is unintelligible garbage filled with nonsense words, such as bling-bling or shizzle. However, I say hip-hop can be just as intelligent as other musical genres. It just needs bigger words.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 36,567 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/30/2006 - Published: 7/17/2003
By the Way, I Like Your Hands by FeatherJunkie reviews
*oneshot, slash* A hotel lobby is an interesting place to wait for your ride. Especially when the manager’s son won’t stop flirting with you.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,325 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/25/2006 - Complete
My Job Book 1 by DarkHorse reviews
Stories of working at a bookstore. An 8 year old thief, condescending men is that redundant and a mass exodus. All right, everybody out, this ship is sinkin! This is it for book 1. Ran out of room on the disk. Book 2 up shortly. Hopefully.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 48,151 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/17/2004 - Published: 3/3/2003 - Complete
Mooncalf by mushroom-hunter-d reviews
The sinister influence of the moon on an isolated farm. A macabre little story I wrote in an attempt to write in the style of the master, Lovecraft. Did I succeed?
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,388 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/17/2004