Dear Reader,

Kindly be informed that you are reading a notice of much importance. Please understand that it is vital for you to continue reading this for the sake of your own safety.

My company has recently been notified of the growing threat one girl has grown to be. We would like to provide you with enough information to keep yourself safe.

Her name is unknown, and we only know her as Asphodel21. The date that she prides on most is her birthday, November 21st, so kindly be extra careful on that day on any year. The percentage chance that she will be staring at you from your window on that day has been found to be 98%, as compared to a normal day's 60%. Yes, reader, she could be staring at you now.

Any other information about her is currently unknown, and her whereabouts are rumoured to be in a tropical concrete jungle island near the equator named Singapore.

Please be assured that investigations against her are currently ongoing, and her imprisonment in a mental hospital is inevitable.

In the meantime, kindly take careful note of these precautions.

1. Shut your curtains at night. Always. Or she might crawl into your house and tell you off rudely, hence disturbing your beauty sleep.

2. Always leave two cups of coffee/tea/milktea beside your bed. If she attempts to attack you while you are sleeping, you are advised to throw the drinks out of the window. It is likely she will follow after it. Reliable sources tell us she loves caffine.

3. Always be ready to make a funny face. You can practice by screwing your face up so your look like a prune for three hours before going to bed. It will amuse her enough not to attack you.

Thank you for your kind attention thus far. If you ever receive any information regarding Asphodel21 please send your report to thisemaildoesnotreallyexist@lalaland.org. Similarly, kindly report any sightings to that email.

We once again sincerely thank you for your cooperation thus far.

And we would like to inform you that the above

Is rubbish.

Thanks and Best Regards.