Halen Catice
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Joined 05-03-08, id: 610326, Profile Updated: 08-27-09
Author has written 6 stories for Nature, Fantasy, and Life.

Hey, check out my Fanfiction account! It's the same as here!

Name: Halen Catice

Age: Older every moment.

Height: Tall enough.

Favorite Color: Green. End of discussion.

Hello there all you wonderful writers and readers who have happened upon my humble (and slightly LONG) profile page! I'm a fantasy lover and avid reader. I love sharing my ideas here with all of you because... heck, if you people don't like/understand/appriciate/care about/take pleasure from my stories, no one will! So please, enjoy yourself, read on, and (of course) reviews are always welcome.

- Halen


The Cow Metaphor for Goverments:

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


Favorite Quotes:

" If you love someone, put their name in a circle because hearts can be broken, but circles go on FOREVER."
- My Cousin's Friend

"If at first you don't succed, try pushing the on button."
-Bumper Sticker

"Normal People Worry Me."
-Bumper Sticker

"Do you have a spoon?"
- English class

"I want Shinny! You go to the underworld, get me the shinny helmet and I'll give you a power of your own!"
-fifth grade OM Skit

"No ever expects the spanish inqusition!"
-Monty Python

"What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?
Is it an african swallow or a european swallow?
I don't know that! ...Ahhhhh!"
- Monty Python

"I have too many legs!"
-Jeff, Coupling

"I'm more special than you!"
-Saskue, Naruto

"Yo queiro pintar el gato!" -(Note: This means I want to paint the cat.)
-d period spanish

"Lather, Rinse, Maim."
-All That

"It's true! and I'm having his baby!"
-9th grade OM Skit, Emo Juliet

"8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness."
- e-mail

"BehindTheseHazelEyes has changed her personal message: Gaara of the Sand is as dumb as a sack of hammers!"
-
Naruto Random Chat, Sasate Uchiha

"Note to self, Stay away from psycho with the 'dead mommy' laptop!"
-Jimmy Kudo, Case Closed

"Evil beware, we have waffles."
-Raven, Teen Titans

“Fate wanted Mother to have a girl, too.”
- © Copyright 2007 Stripey Notebook

"When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons."
- Unknown

"Life's short, eat desert first."
- Miwa Hkari's profile

"People who stick their noses into other peoples bussiness should hit thier heads against a block of tofu and die!"
- Miwa Hikari's profile

"Sometimes we build walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down."
- Miwa Hikari's profile (again!)

"Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to."
- Bumper sticker

"FRICK ON A STICK!"
- Kiyoko

"We're dealing with lesbians here, not schizophrenics!"
-Kori Light

"Excuse me, I'm trying to go spulunking in the cave that is you!"
-Kori Light

"I'm so emo I cut OTHER people!"
-me

"You are a big fat... ROCK?"
-Me playing Taboo

"Don't Drink and Park, Accidents Make People."
-Bumper Sticker

"Cob+Web= Wob"
-Erica Playing Taboo

"Fanfiction (because it's cheaper than theropy)."
- Sasate Uchiha

And now for a bunch of Random/Unknown Quotes

"There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe."
- unknown

"Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is."
- Unknown

"You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail."
- Unknown

~Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

~The trouble with real life is that there is no background music.

~Forecast for tongiht: darkness.

~Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

~ The differnce between Comedy and Tragedy is... time.

~I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

~I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
-Unknown

~We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
-Unknown

~In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

~The below statement is true
The above statement is false
-Unknown

~You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

~Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much!

~If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense!

~One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

~I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah!

~I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

~Your mom looks like Voldemort. Oh buuuuurn. XD

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

What if Dragons are Real? by Mya von Dor reviews
Done-sequel in progress-Matthew, a college sophmore who has no idea he's half-dragon, went to school across the country to get away from his not-so-very-nice adoptive parents. Only he didn't excape his problems by coming to Boston, they only got worse.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 152 - Words: 393,819 - Reviews: 751 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 1/17/2004 - Complete
Lady Mirror by Ineffable Comprehension reviews
Taking advice from a reflection
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Complete
Should it Be Said by A.M. Ashel reviews
An elegy for the unknown man. Please Read and Review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Complete
Lacey and the Shroom by Decidedly Undecided reviews
Lacey had had it with that smart-alecky mushroom and its thankless ways, so she decided to give it what for. One of my stranger pieces.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Complete
Hate by Deindae reviews
A daughter reflects on the death of her activist mother and the way her mother shaped her. Actors are free to use monologue as an audition piece, but performances are not allowed.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 871 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Complete
SharkBite by Viroku reviews
650 years in the future a young teenager named Viroku travels the seven seas to find the Demon-Warriors and stop Grand General Chihaku.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,605 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 7/1/2008
Kylie's World by Kiyoko Matsuoka reviews
Callie Birch and her partner James Ludlow are dropped into a strange land, where the only city seems to be the unusual city of Kylon. Who's behind this space age city? Why is it the only thing for miles? And what have the two come for?
Fiction: Action - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,143 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/3/2009
The Dance by Yliaster reviews
The music is lovely, the guests lovelier still. If you join in the dance, you may never wish to leave.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,772 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Complete
Unfamiliar by The Trench Coat Guild reviews
Familiars are in trouble. The more advanced City dwellers have created a natural disaster reaching far into the forest, affecting the Tribe who lives there. Three young children gifted with the power of Armaron set out to put things right. T for cuss word
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,110 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/24/2008 - Published: 8/15/2008
Cold Spring by Yliaster reviews
People can be escaped from, but histories cannot.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,074 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Complete
The Deal by Yliaster reviews
A death, a bargain, a sacrifice. Everyone's hungry for something, after all.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,164 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Complete
Shadow Dancers by smz12231994 reviews
Dancers by trade, and yet as unnoticed as a shadow stretching across the pavement. This is our ironic destiny.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Complete
Pain is Something by smz12231994 reviews
Cutting hurts. Sometimes I find myself screaming from the pain. But then, why do I do it? Why do I insist on tearing up my skin with this blade?
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Complete
Shiro's Secret by Namika Hikari reviews
When an odd stone turns up by the lake at Shiro's house, he thinks it is his lucky day. But when it hatches into a silver dragon, Shiro realizes he's in way over his head hiding the beast. I realize it sounds like Eragon, but it won't be too similar. R&R!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 891 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/4/2008
Once Upon an Emo Prophecy by Stripey Notebook reviews
What began as a collaborative writing project amongst a school writers' club became... well, a collaborative writing project. But it has evolved into a sprawling fantasy epic.. sort of.. that includes emo bards, prophesies, and magical amulets. Enjoy. R&R
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,730 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 7/8/2007
Remnants by Barin reviews
Subject 672 was stuck in a lab for a year and a half... now that he's been granted freedom, what will he do? And what in the world is going on? R&R and I will do the same for you!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Spiritual - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,646 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/31/2008 - Published: 5/1/2007
Hail the Conquering Hero? by Bookbook reviews
Ever wondered why villains are so stupid? Meet the villain who isn't. Stupid, I mean. Or a villain, really. Um...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 989 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
Falling by this used to be a name reviews
The higher you climb, the further you have to fall. But I never thought I could fall so far, or so fast... or for her. [Currently oneshot, possible expansion. T for safety. Apologies for boring introduction... fictionpress doesn't like punctuation marks].
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/6/2008
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Girl Who Spurrened A Dress reviews
Hanasaki has been always headstrong. She refuses act like a 'proper lady' and instead studies male subjects, including swordsplay! When two neighboring ruling families come to stay, will Hana be able to deal with some of their views? continued inside
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,769 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 5/17/2008
Fire and Ice reviews
See inside for details and the rest of summary: Charlie didn't ever think of himself as 'normal' but when an organization comes after him and abduct his sister, its up to him to get her back. But he's in for a bumpy ride. He develops strange powers..
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/24/2008
One In a Million
There's something strange ging on at Harriet Johnsosn's summer camp, and it's messing with her good time. New and strange counslers are shoeing up, with weird ideas and crazy tricks. Can she figure out what's going on before somethig terrible happens?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 423 - Published: 5/22/2008
West Atlantic Wizarding Academy reviews
Join Charlotte Webber and her homeroom class of 20 sudendts as they discover themselves at Wizarding school. Charloot is a fish outta water, and need all the help sje can gat. but can she make friends?Pass math?learn what food is safe? T for languge cont
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 676 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/22/2008
Foot Prints reviews
A thought about the foot prints in a dirt parking lot.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 42 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Complete
Sabino Poems
This is from when I was on Vacation in Arizona. I ws really inspired about what i was in this one park...well, i suppose i simply HAD to write about in. Please R R.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 224 - Published: 5/17/2008 - Complete