Richard Platypus
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Joined 1998, id: 6112
Author has written 197 stories for General, Song, and General.
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6/9/03
Yo... I am Richard Platypus. I kinda stopped using this website a long time ago... been one and a half years since I uploaded anything. Part of the reason was that Fanfiction.net was deleting a lot of my works due to obscenity, which I certainly did not appreciate. And part of the reason was that I got my own website-- www.angelfire.com/poetry/platypus -- I urge you to check this out for a more current (and even more extensive) sample of my work. A lot of the stories on here were uploaded back in 1999, when I was in 7th grade, and some of them were written when I was as young as fourth grade. Just a warning, I think that nevertheless you may enjoy a lot of them.
As for me?
I am Richard the Platypus.
Here is a recent picture of myself:

Many more SEXY PICS at my WEBSITE (hint hint).
I am 16 years old.
I am a poet, a slave to the muse, it is my reason to breathe.
My poetry has been featured on such websites as poetz.com and roguescholars.com
I have been a featured reader at downtown NYC venues such as the Knitting Factory (and frequently read at open-mics in the area).
I do not consider myself a slam-poet, because the written word means too much to me. But I am a zealous performer, I clamor for the spotlight, and I am capable of bringing down the mo'fuckin house, especially with my politically-charged poetic rants.
I am a radical socialist, a yippie-marxist, a cultural revolutionary.
In the past I've worked on Ralph Nader's campaign for president, Norman Siegel's campaign for public advocate of NYC, on various civil-rights programs, and of course I've attended more protests than I can count at this point.
One of these days I'm gonna bring the world toppling down, and build a happier world in its place, free of capitalism, war, sexual and artistic repression.
Perhaps you would like to join me?
Seriously, if you like my work, drop me a review-- and email me for chrissakes! Tell me about yourself! Do you also want to rape George Bush in the ass with a pogo stick?
A few more interests of mine, besides poetry and political activism/theory include...
photography!
I could never draw worth a shit, but photography has cleared a path for me to express myself visually. I recently had one of my pictures from an anti-war protest featured in an art gallery in Chelsea.
spirituality!
I do not believe in organized religion, aside from the lovely Hare Krishnas, but I am intensely spiritual. I feel a strong, beautiful connection with the universe, the rest of humanity-- and even you. I love mother nature, and have sex with her splendor every second I am alive.
music!
trippy music! Wow, I listen to quite an eclectic array of orgasmic noises. See www.angelfire.com/poetry/platypus/music.html for a complete list of my TOP 200 CDs.

Um that's about it. Read my stories now.

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Surrender to the Stars
Sleeping in the forest is a very spiritual experience for me...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Published: 11/12/2001
Buffalo Cabbage reviews
he shoulda been a buffalo cabbage! Why wasn't he!!!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
Flyswatter reviews
Things I need to bring to school... books, homework, pens... and a flyswatter
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11/12/2001
All That I Can Be reviews
A personal anthem... and no it is not in support of the military!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
Beat Away My Misery reviews
I love my bongo drums...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 67 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
Art Is Perpetual reviews
art is alive, and it never dies...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
Many People Died Today reviews
Hmm... i wonder what day I could possibly referring to... perhaps with this war and all there will be days to come that this can be applied to?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
First Day of School reviews
when I walked in on the first day of school...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 58 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/12/2001
Swallow the Pain reviews
it's about running...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
Hear the Dove Call reviews
an anti-war poem
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/12/2001
Jimi Hendrix Will Protect Me reviews
listening to Hendrix will make all the disruption around you go away...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/12/2001
Running Away in Circles reviews
if you're running away from something... you shouldn't run in circles...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
Do You Eat the Sun? reviews
A question that came up in biology class while studying photosynthesis...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/12/2001
Join Our Clique reviews
i don't like cliques they're just like cults damn social cliques SET YOURSELF FREE
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
People Wanna Be Sheep reviews
i wonder why people wanna be sheep... just don't make sense to me...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
Spiritual Sleep reviews
spirituality for me is sleeping in nature
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/12/2001
Platypus Amongst the Humans reviews
We can't have a platypus amongst the humans!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/12/2001
Like a Toucan reviews
Follow your nose when it runs!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
Dehumanity reviews
what do you think they would say if i stood up and i walked away nobody here really understands me... hmm i like Blind Melon a lot...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/12/2001
The Battle of October 11 reviews
referring to the new york city local elections in the wake of September...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 239 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/12/2001
West Side Community Garden reviews
one of my happy places...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/12/2001
Fascist Comb reviews
I don't like combs... tryin' to discipline my hair
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/12/2001
Trip of Life reviews
Come to Insanity... Nirvanna
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/12/2001
Laugh at the Crazy Person reviews
Don't you hate those people who just can't take a little insanity in their lives...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/12/2001
The Love Revolution reviews
A love revolution is what each of us needs... and what the world needs.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/9/2001
Jimi Hendrix Came Along reviews
An ode to Jimi Hendrix, and any other musical revolutionaries who have died so soon...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/6/2001
Drunken Irish Messenger reviews
A drunken Irish guy approached me in the street one day... and he had a message for me
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/6/2001
Drilling in the Sidewalk
They were drilling in the sidewalk, and the noise was loud and disruptive.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 59 - Published: 10/6/2001
Horde of the Lost
a poem about the masses of NYC...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Published: 10/6/2001
August Will Terminate At Midnight reviews
I wrote this the night of august 31... just realized it has kind of foreshadowed the events of sept. 11... freaky, huh?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/6/2001
Anarchy/Harmony Society reviews
It's about spirituality... much reference to jesus, though i'll have it be known I do not consider myself a christian
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/6/2001
Back to School reviews
I wrote this during the first day of school this year... how I wasn't psyched to be back there
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/6/2001
A New World Today reviews
Written the night of September 11th... I regret not posting it earlier
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10/5/2001
Those Who Kill Instead of Create reviews
I prefer artists who create art to censors who destroy it.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/5/2001
Zoser's call reviews
this middle aged midwestern guy prank-called me... and some kid was stoned off his ass squawking in the background... and i thought to myself, goddamn this is a crazy world.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/5/2001
The Muse Comes and Goes reviews
When the muse is here and I'm writing, I can't be happier. When it leaves, I am depressed and pathetic...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/5/2001
The Pedestrian reviews
Being someone who loves to walk to all ends of my city, NYC, I will say with all my heart: All Power to the Pedestrian!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/5/2001
The Entry To My Soul reviews
Every person I stare at while walking about NYC... this is what I want them to know
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/5/2001
Don't Got No Time
Time is such a bitchy thing... don't you wish we could live without it?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Published: 10/5/2001
Pretty White Scars On My Arm reviews
I have all these pretty white scars on my arm... hmm... do you wonder what i got them from?
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/5/2001
Old Lady Next Door reviews
There's an old lady who lives on rent-control next door...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/5/2001
Oblivious reviews
I wrote this the night of the attacks on the WTC...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/5/2001
Me and Jeff Loddo Hug Trees
Some people think it's weird to hug trees... that's sad... we should all be more in touch with mother nature, and brother tree
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Published: 10/4/2001
Money Kills reviews
recommended reading for all you greedy zombies who are destroying the natural world!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/4/2001
Monkey In My Brain reviews
for a few days this summer there was this monkey living in my brain... it's gone now but it stops by to visit every once in a while
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Monkey Screams reviews
The monkey screams! EEE EEE! Damn monkey, get out of my brain!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/4/2001
Mouse to Snake reviews
Witnessing the feeding of a snake helped me to understand the cycle of life...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Nader vs. Gore reviews
Simple poem in support of Ralph Nader.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
On Top of the World
I was on top the world, looking down from the mountain in bliss
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Published: 10/4/2001
Overhanging Rock reviews
Jumping into the water from the boulder 25 feet above...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Philadelphia's Finest reviews
A poem in support of political prisoner Mumia Abu-Jamal
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Live To Create reviews
I'm sure all you writers out there can maybe identify... life is all about creating more life...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Layers of Insanity reviews
I am many layers of insanity
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Lawn Bowling Egomaniac reviews
I was gonna have a peaceful time lawn-bowling... but then the egomaniac opened his mouth...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Hairball or Puke? reviews
Hairball or puke... i don't know, do you? Hairball or puke!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 248 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/4/2001
Honorary Tree reviews
I was one with the trees while riding on the bus...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Hour on Four Green Benches
At the poetry meeting... I wrote about the poetry meeting.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Published: 10/4/2001
Human Inadequacy reviews
Wouldn't it be great if we were all impotent?
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Ice-Chomper reviews
I was eating ice in the expensive restaurant
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/4/2001
Idealistic reviews
If asked my political ideology... i suppose the best word for it is just 'idealistic."
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
If We Were Like Water reviews
If humans were like water things would be so much more harmonious...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Impotence reviews
Impotence, the inability to write/create, is the worst feeling in the world
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
In the Taxi reviews
In the taxi... you have a conversation and never see the person again...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Platypus With a Spatula reviews
A somewhat epic poem written when I could control the ways of nature with a pair of plastic spatulas...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Pow-Wow Incense reviews
The senuous high is far greater than the chemical high
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Psychosomatic Mosquitoes reviews
The mosquitoes... they weren't really there... but they bit me all over!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Sweet Sweet reviews
Written after listening to the Smashing Pumpkins song... when everything was sweet sweet
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 209 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
The Beetle's Confession
This beetle, it confessed to me... a secret that is held among all insects...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Published: 10/4/2001
Trip to the Mint reviews
The US Mint... oh, boy, my favorite place in the whole entire world!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Two Sides of Creation reviews
The worth of creation, can sometimes be traced back to the motive...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 254 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Un-Dignified Mirror reviews
I had a dream that my hair had just been cut... it was a tragic image...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/4/2001
That Was a Stupid Poem to Write reviews
This was a stupid poem to write... i don't know why I wrote this poem.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Unique Freak reviews
Maybe it's a trite subject for any counter-culture person to write about... but, hell, I felt like writing it
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
When You Become the Mosquito reviews
Never become what you hate...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/4/2001
The Contents of a Cigarette reviews
What I see when I look at the cigarettes on the street...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Sun Block
Don't block the sun! The sun is fun!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Published: 10/4/2001
Sun Worshippers reviews
I can identify with sun worshippers
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Stranded in the Parking Lot reviews
The bus lost its power... we were stranded in the parking lot at one in the morning, where we lost our sanity
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 299 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Puppets or Dummies? reviews
Are boy bands puppets or dummies? I can't quite tell...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Purple Sky and Spaghetti
Purple Sky and getting spaghetti when you want spaghetti... that's the pleasure of living right there
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Published: 10/4/2001
Rainbow of Insanity reviews
I am a platypus... I am also a rainbow of insanity.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Rat Asses
Your apathy only brings your own decay...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Published: 10/4/2001
Ruined Poem reviews
An absoltuely disgustingly bad poem!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Sit Down, Shut Up reviews
this goes out to all you teenyboppers... mainly those of you who claim you aren't
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Solon reviews
Solon inspired out government's layout... funny how we have followed only the unfavorable part of his example...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/4/2001
Spider Nest reviews
goddamn humans screw everything up... we can't coexist with the world, we're too selfish.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/4/2001
Stairway to Liberty
I was ascending to liberty...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Published: 10/4/2001
Come To the Building reviews
All the puppets come to the building and they dance!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 295 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Counterpoint Gazebo reviews
The hippies and the preppies convene in the same gazebo... and we go our separate ways
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Dark Alienated Introvert reviews
"I like to go to important social events and alienate myself."
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Diz reviews
I was dizzy when I wrote this. And I was the center of the universe...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Dysfunctional As a Human Being reviews
Sometimes I feel dysfunctional as a human being.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Everybody's Singing in Harmony
One day I'll live in a land where everybody's singing in harmony...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Published: 10/3/2001
Fork in the Woods! reviews
There was a fork in the woods! And the spaghetti tasted good...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Funny Bug reviews
It was such a funny bug... why'd it have to die?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Goodnight, Foot reviews
Do me a favor: if your foot ever falls asleep, sing it a lullabye.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Grammar is for Mathematicians! reviews
Grammar is for mathematicians! Think about it...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/3/2001
Cock reviews
I knew somebody once and he was cock.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Candy or Porch? reviews
Decisions, decisions...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Caffeine reviews
Everybody has their addictions... caffeine is one of mine
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/3/2001
Thirty-One Person Room
31 people in a small space... my claustrophobia and introversion comes out in the form of poetry
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Published: 10/3/2001
My Generation Happened Long Ago reviews
I don't my generation... i would be so much more at peace in the 60's...
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Airplane reviews
When airplanes fly above your head they make loud noises...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Ant On the Ground reviews
I saw an ant on the ground... so I decided to write a poem about it.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Assumptions Concerning Introverts reviews
Introversion isn't sadness!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Breeze
Breeze propels life
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 53 - Published: 10/3/2001
Brian Fendell's Cosmetic Puffs reviews
I know somebody named Brian Fendell and I was intrigued by his cosmetic puffs...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/3/2001
Bus Ride
A claustrophobic poem
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Published: 10/3/2001
Buzzing Fly reviews
Don't you hate it when flies go BZZZZ!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
Cabbage reviews
I saw a cabbage up in the sky one fine day... what a tasty cloud!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/3/2001
The Bliss of Individuality reviews
I've always been happiest when I was able to be myself... this poem is sort of a short history about my own individualism.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/10/2001
I'm Not Depressed reviews
I'm just too weird for my inner-happiness to be understood... so they all assume I'm depressed! There isn't anything creative about this piece... but when I'm angry and uninspired it comes out more easily in sentences than in poetry/rhyme.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 590 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/10/2001
There's Gonna Be a Revolution, Baby reviews
One of these days, man, y'all are gonna see... there's gon' be a revolution, and your reality will become a little more real...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,735 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/10/2001
Fifteen Minutes To Go Get Pizza reviews
Starts off as a realistic story about my current parental conflict, but turns into an extremely bizarre story symbolic of the New York and national political scene
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,490 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/10/2001
Exposed-- the CIA or My Psychosis? reviews
I wrote this during math class when I was bugging out thinking the CIA had taken control of my brain...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/1/2001
The CIA's Truman reviews
Wow I am crazy paranoid, just reading this over... wrote this about a man who stood near me who I was convinced was a CIA agent...
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 248 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/1/2001
The New Emancipation Proclamation
I hereby issue a new emancipation proclamation.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Published: 6/1/2001
All-American Relationship reviews
I intend to pose this question with this poem: Would you rather your significant other be perfect, or would you rather he/she be perfect for you?
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 656 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 5/25/2001
The History Project reviews
A recount of this hugeass history project that I just finished. We have three months to work on it, the eighth grade does it every year, it counts for two tests... and I guess I'm just dissecting the experience.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,909 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/22/2001
Girl Approaches reviews
Just a stream of consciousness from me, the weirdo, when approached by a random person today
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 470 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/21/2001
Mother's Day reviews
It was Mother's Day, and me and my mom saw this dude... and he was carrying a lamp... and I wrote a story about it... and maybe you'll read it, huh?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/21/2001
Death By State reviews
In this poem, I assume the consciousness of a man on death row as he is led to the electric chair...
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 470 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/21/2001
Has Fanfiction.net Sold Out? reviews
There is a new rule on fanfiction.net that says we must not have swears in our summaries/titles. Join me in the fight against this censorship! Save our fanfiction.net as we know it!
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 5/14/2001
Attack Me! reviews
I have pimples. And I like them. I do not like being considered "hot" by common definition; I do not want to be the all-american prototype that teenage girls fantasize about. Some may call me ugly; I say I like it that way.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/13/2001
My Poem of Saved Brain Cells reviews
After four hours of completing tedious, menial tasks I was bored and so damn hazed that I wrote these lines of complete nonsense. If you want to know about the title, email me.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 0 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/12/2001
Bill Murray reviews
I saw Bill Murray in a theater last night, and it inspired me to write a poem about celebrity worship
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 0 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5/6/2001
Thirty-Two Flavors reviews
A short piece about me... and who/what I really am... inspired by the Ani DiFranco song "32 Flavors"
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/5/2001
Your World or Mine? reviews
I am a reborn introvert... and this is a short story that contains my views of the world... and why I prefer the world inside of my head to y'alls world
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 660 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/30/2001
I Don't Deny, Instead I Laugh reviews
I wrote this about the homophobia I often receive...
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/20/2001
My Hair Uncut Large Messy reviews
I wrote this about my hair. I haven't cut in in a long time... so it is very big, and i don' comb it so it is messy... and i like it this way.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/20/2001
The Condom Thief reviews
I witnessed a theft of a bunch of condoms... and it's funny cuz I had been identifying with the thief himself.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4/13/2001
Sunday at the Pagua
I went to do some campaign work and ended up at a Hindu festival celebrating the coming of spring, having an experience to remember...
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Published: 4/13/2001
Andre's Memories reviews
I had a neighbor named Andre... and one day me and a crazy friend I had decided to sell his memories for a buck a piece...
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 393 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4/13/2001
Conformed Rebel reviews
Shawn, the most popular kid in his grade, explains how fake his life is...
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,805 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/31/2001
Raccoon Gone Bad reviews
An Animal Farm-esque story featuring a revolutionary raccoon who is in the process of creating a new society
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/28/2001
The Pagua reviews
I went to this wild Hindu celebration called the Pagua when I was doing campaign work... it was such an experience that I wrote a song about it
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,523 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/28/2001
French Sorbet reviews
This is a song I wrote when on vacation in France... it's about optimism and my current situation
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/27/2001
Kind vs. Polite reviews
I just spent a week in France... and it got me thinking about the true meanings of politeness and kindness.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/26/2001
Kitty Kat reviews
A (i hesitate to call it a) story about cats... I find them to be very interesting, truly trippy animals.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 730 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3/11/2001
Hunger Strike reviews
I went on a hunger strike a few weeks ago and here's a song I wrote just before I did explaining my reasons...
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 952 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/11/2001
I Strive To Be A Platypus reviews
A pantoum about my favorite animal, the platypus, and it's symbolic meaning
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/11/2001
Fascism reviews
I wrote this to respond to a question I was asked: "How do you describe the world 'fascist'"
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/2/2001
The Confessions of a Cow reviews
A cow confesses that he committed a horrible sin
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11/2001
Poor Old Lady reviews
A poor old lady loses her children in Iraq and solicits your help so that she can kill you.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/8/2001
The Vast Thereness
A stupid guy named Bart's life undergoes some changes while he's standing somewhere in the vast thereness...
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Published: 2/8/2001
Pursuit of Happiness reviews
A political (yes, the P word, all y'all non-intellectuals need not read) essay i wrote as part of a contest concerning Libertarianism and individual civil liberties.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,053 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/5/2001
Purple Monkeys Running Amok reviews
There are purple monkeys running amok in a zoo... and then some hippies come round... and it's just a weird story dude so if you're weird too maybe ya'd like to read it
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,080 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/30/2001
My Mom Voted For Nader reviews
I realize the title may be misunderstood... this is NOT a story that is critical of the Nader campaign... I myself was an active member.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 839 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/24/2001
My Life reviews
This song actually ain't about my life... it's about a friend of mine who has a very hard, hellish life. This song inspired by a very moving email he sent me that really helped me put my life in perspective and realize how lucky I really am... perhaps thi
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 889 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1/21/2001
Teen Suicide reviews
Song about who really is to blame for teen suicide... and the effects of the resulting wrongful blaming.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,491 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/5/2001
Take No More -- (legalize prostitution) reviews
Dude, prostitution is an act that benefits two people. How is it illegal? We must take no more of this fascism imposed on us by our government!
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12/27/2000
Rudolph Giuliani's Suicide Note reviews
Psycho fascist New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani commits suicide, and admits his fascist cravings in his suicide note.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/13/2000
Carpe Diem reviews
The longer, funnier, weirder, more explicit sequel to What Goes Around Comes Around. It's funny and weird for all you weird people... got some bitchy satirical political commentary for all y'all intellectuals. If you're a normal, apathetical person then d
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,030 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/25/2000
Foo Foo reviews
Well yo dude I musta been high or something when I wrote this. It was in science class and there were some funny chemicals so I guess that explains it... it's about a bunny addicted to drugs. Some pro-legalization sentiments too. Short.
Poetry: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 11/25/2000
What Goes Around Comes Around reviews
Bit odd... story about this dude who dresses up as a piece of steak and dances for drunk people. Wrote it for school and my class loved it... not a personal favorite though.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,899 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/4/2000
Democracy For Minors reviews
Song bout how we should abolish the voting age. Ya shouldn't have to be 18 to vote!
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 512 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/28/2000
Congo BoBongo reviews
A 100% true story about talking monkeys, Jim Lehrer, transexuals, beer, and toe-loss.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,205 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/25/2000
Democracy Hypocrisy and Autocracy reviews
Song about how Bush and Gore don't want you to be free; they wanna run your life!
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 827 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/21/2000
two(wrong)+Bush=right reviews
Song about George W. Bush and his trigger happy death penalty policies
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/21/2000
When Chopsticks Get Trippy reviews
The fourth in my zany kitchen utensil series.. not all that great but funny nonetheless
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,717 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/19/2000
When Forks Get Angry reviews
I must've been high when I wrot e this. But I'm always high. It's a weirdass story bout an angry fork.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/16/2000
When Eggbeaters Go Crazy reviews
zany story bout an eggbeater that goes crazy... if you are weird as me then you'll enjoy
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/14/2000
The Plight of the Homeless reviews
This is a song explaining my take on our politicians selling out to corporations instead of helping those in need...
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 850 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/13/2000
Legalize Drugs reviews
Title's pretty straightforward. I think drugs should be legal. 'Fore you brand me a dissolute lunatic, read what I have to say.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,221 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/31/2000
The Platypus reviews
A song about nonconformity, being different, expressing yourself... yah. Enjoy.
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,005 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/29/2000
Stoned reviews
Song I wrote about my natural high and inhalant experimentation.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8/29/2000
It'll Be Aight reviews
Song I wrote when I got caught cheating on an important homework assignment (50 point sheet)
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 550 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/10/2000
School Prayer reviews
Song about my opinions on organized school prayer and the people that advocate it
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 881 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3/27/2000
Bad Day reviews
I, a predominantly happy person, had a bad day. So I wrote a song about it with my friend Rambunxus.
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 474 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 3/4/2000
Me and My Vibrator reviews
Ohhhhh it tingles. Vibrators are great.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3/4/2000
Sushi D reviews
Just wanna let y'all know that Rambunxus wants to change his name to Sushi D... join me in the fight against this change!
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/4/2000
Lovesick Deceiver reviews
A deceitful, evil man is struck by a cupid and falls in love with a woman who thinks she's a rhino.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,166 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/4/2000
Bunghole Cola reviews
Story I wrote in 6th grade about an aspiring actor who works in a hair salon called Bunghole Cola.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,509 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/22/2000
Apology reviews
I'm just rapping my apology to uploading two copies of the same song
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2/12/2000
Chief BigBong vs. Rambunxus reviews
Remember those old school raps where rappers would rap against eachother? Well if you miss the old school 'smuch as I do here's somethin' that'll make ya feel nostalgic...
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,096 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 2/8/2000
Dr. Stansfer's Anthem of Asssisted Suicide reviews
Song for an upcoming fic about assisted suicide...
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2/5/2000
Don't censor me reviews
Song about how censorship should be illegal without consent of the author of whatever is being censored. CENSORSHIP SUCKS!
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 412 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2/5/2000
Tom Sawyer meets Trinity School reviews
Tom Sawyer meets my school...
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,205 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/22/2000
Caninephobia reviews
True story from when I was two years old that caused me to be scared of dogs for life.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 1/22/2000
They Will Laugh reviews
Point of View piece of a suicide
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 510 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 1/22/2000
Tweezers of Dystopia reviews
Funny story about the leader of a dystopian communistic society.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,856 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/22/2000
Toma Lucia reviews
Short little story I wrote about a taxi driver who I once had the honor of meeting.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1/22/2000
The Schizophrenic reviews
Story about a schizophrenic teacher that I wrote in 6th grade
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,013 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1/21/2000
Get Rich Quick reviews
Group of get rich quickers create a scheme... strange but funny story
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,624 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/19/2000
The Mamma Conflict reviews
Agents Joe and My Mamma are after a felon named Yo Mamma with the help of His Mamma
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1/18/2000
Legalize Prostitution!!! reviews
A very meaningful song I wrote explaining why prostitution should be legal.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/5/2000
The Kooks reviews
A 4th grader's story of a family consisting of complete kooks
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,306 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/24/1999
A Vivrant Crime (Q-tip the Cleaner) reviews
Story I wrote with a friend about a hitman who just so happens to be named Q-Tip.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,057 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12/23/1999
Momo's Show reviews
Momo, a man that hates kids, starts a show for kids
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,998 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/23/1999
Zeke and Elmont reviews
Three very different friends meet up with a supernatural frog... yeah... thats it
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,727 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/16/1999
Jamaican Fugitives reviews
4 jamaicans and 1 american are being hunted by Joe Mamma for varoious crimes.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,528 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/16/1999
Haircuts reviews
A man that had a bad experience with a haircut gets another haircut, and it happens again
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,377 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/13/1999
The Sociopathic Taxi Drivers of New York City reviews
All of the taxi orginizations of New York City are really Pakistani terrorists.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,546 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/12/1999
Jamal Bunghole reviews
Jamal Bunghole accidentally starts a war, and an agent named Joe Mamma is out to get him
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,558 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12/12/1999
Oinkysnorkle reviews
there's a crazy teacher and an anonymous principal... and somehow the taco bell chihuahua connects them together... sounds pretty weird but whaddaya expect from me?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,132 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/12/1999
The Chihuahua That Saved Christmas reviews
The owner of the Taco Bell chihuahua find out that his chihuahua is Santa Claus.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 958 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 12/12/1999
When Spatulas Go Bad reviews
When Spatulas Go Bad, These Three Get Mad
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,616 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12/10/1999