Name: Keri Black

Gender: Make a guess ... go on - I dare ya!

Age: No Comment

Birthday: 666

I also have a Fanfiction account which I'm obliged to tell you about. In all fairness, I think I write better Fanfiction stories than Fictionpress but I'll leave that decision up to you:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1259527/WingedHybrid

I feel the need to tell all you reading that I am opening my inbox to story requests. If you have an idea for a fanfic (for a category I've written in hopefully) but you can't bring yourself to write it though you still want to see it on the website, send me a PM and I'll see what I can do. I've done this before and it was pretty fun and I'd like to do it again but I'll need you help *begins to act like a campaign poster for recruiting soliders into war* :P

I've just opened as a Beta, so any story you want edited or read, PM me and see what I can do XD

Another Note: I do plan on finishing all the stories I have already posted on this site, as well as on FanFiction. I'm planning on finishing one story at a time but there will be a few breaks where I write one-shots for challenges or requests. Plus I have to alternate between these stories and my others.

READ! READ! READ!

Thank You!

Now some random crap! (YAY FOR RANDOM CRAP!!)

The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends if they're ok, then it's you!

Life isn't passing me by it's trying to run me over.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn’t for everyone.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me Colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

I’m not paranoid … WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!?

Okay, enough randomness. Now just read! LOOKBELOWLOOKBELOWLOOKBELOW