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Joined 07-05-08, id: 620024, Profile Updated: 03-16-09

Hi! I'm Reine de Rien, French for Queen of Nothing. I do not speak French.

Ever tried french fries dipped in ketchup with lemon squirted in it? Don't.

You don't need to know much about me. I'm a person, I live in a country, I eat food, I have a name.

Favorite Quotes:

"The State of the Union is in the Constitution. An inaugural is, 'I have a captive audience and I can't keep my mouth shut.' " -My Mom, when we were discussing State of the Unions and inaugural addresses.

"I think I'll have to settle for hunting stupid mice. They won't stand a chance. I shall just wander up to them and sit on them till they surrender." -Graypaw, Into the Wild

You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don't let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in."

-McGonnagal, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"You can't stop Ortiz till you put guys in the bleachers."

-Some anouncer on a Red Sox game

(In weird, sort of spooky voice)"Everyone die, I die, plants die...everyone dies."

-My friend MG at my 9th birthday party. It was lightinging every second, I'M NOT KIDDING, and it was freaky.

" 'I suppose he may have changed. I myself have noticed my growing resemblance to a daffodil.'

'You do look yellow around the edges. I hadn't wanted to bring it up.'

'We daffodils like to have things brought up.' "

-Neal and Kel (who should totally have been together), Page

"Do you think thank-you goodbye is the last sentence? Pause...I think...No. I don't think."

-My sister. She was 2 or 3 and talking on a toy telephone. My dad videotaped it

"You don't decorate sprinkles!"

-My sister. She was 2 or 3.

"A woman who desires to be equal to a man has no ambition whatsoever. "


"When he comes to check the meat, he will curse and throw things. It is fun to watch."

-Brokefang, Wolf-Speaker

"I'd as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you've been doing - kissing pigs? Or being kissed?

-Alanna, Alanna: The First Adventure

"USA Today came out with a new survey...apparently 3 in 4 Americans make up 75 of the population."

-David Letterman

"For now we will delay the question of where it got teeth."

-Numair, talking about Leaf, The Realms of the Gods

"She isn't even nice to people she likes."

Scamp, talking about Moonwind, The Realms of the Gods

"I am sure Euny would not have died without telling me."

-Juniper, Colman

"There's so much extra of one of you."

-I can't remember who, talking about Numair, in The Realms of the Gods

"Excuse me, that's my sitting spot."

-CS, (In this really funny voice) during recess

"If by yes you mean no, than it's true!"

-The Other Reindeer

" 'You ride as a man, you fight as a man, and you think as a man-'

'I think as a human being. Men don't think any different from women-they just make more noise about being able to.' "

-Ali Mukthab and Alanna, The Woman Who Rides Like a Man

"Lord Raoul asked me to tell you that if you get yourself killed, he will never speak to you again."

-A herald, Squire

" 'So, Neal, do you feel educated?'

'Incredibly. Why, words simply fail me about how educated I'm getting.' "

-Alanna and Neal, Squire

" 'He kept telling me that one Tortallan horsemen was the equal of ten northern savages.'

'Maybe they are. It's the eleventh savage that gets you.' "

-Raoul and Flyndan, Squire

" 'Try to remember that armor works much better when it's on.' "

-Raoul, Squire

"Fifty-nine is greater than zero. I can prove it."

-The Other Reindeer

"I wonder if you can use that as a proof for geometry?"

-Someone in The Other Reindeer's orchestra, after we proved fifty-nine was greater than zero.

"Jet propulsion is for weenies." -Rosetail's Loyalty

" ' I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!'

'What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?' " -Mrs. Weasley and George, HP5

" 'I'm sure we'll be very good friends!'

'I'll be her friend as long as I don't have to borrow that cardigan.' " -Umbridge and Parvati Patil, HP5

" 'Well I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night. What d'you reckon that means?'

'Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something." -Ron and Harry, HP5

"Yeah, Quirrel was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head." -Harry, HP5

"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one!

And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!" -Peeves, HP7

"Don't worry, he's a lot more competent than he seems." -Ripred, Gregor and the Curse of the Warmbloods

“ ‘That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway! It was nothing personal!’

‘It was. We sent it.’ ” –Percy and Fred, HP4

“Wild! I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again…and again…and again…” –Ron, HP4

“Now mum, if the Hogwarts Express crashed tomorrow, and George and I died, how would you feel to know the last thing that we ever heard from you was an unfounded accusation?” –Fred, HP4

“Ah, think of the possibilities. It would have been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident…Shame his mother likes him…” –Ron, HP4

“ ‘I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?’

‘No. I was born in July.’ ” –Trelawney and Harry, HP4

“Aaaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry…” –Ron, HP4

“ ‘Excuse me, I don’t like people just because they’re handsome!’

Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like ‘Lockhart!’ ” – Hermione, HP4

“ ‘Ron, can we borrow Pigwidgeon?’

‘No, he’s off delivering a letter. Why?’

‘Because George wants to invite him to the ball.’” –George, Ron, and Fred, HP4

“ ‘I would think that some of us might be a little less frivolous had they seen what I have seen during my crystal gazing last night. As I sat here, absorbed in my needlework, the urge to consult the orb overpowered me. I arose, I settled myself before it, and I gazed into its crystalline depths…and what do you think I saw gazing back at me?’

‘An ugly old bat in outsize specs?’” –Trelawney and Ron, HP4

“ ‘Who on earth wants to make their nose hair grow into ringlets?’

‘I wouldn’t mind. Be a talking point, wouldn’t it?’” –Hermione and Fred, HP4

“Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea cozy.” –Ron, HP4

“Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, Malfoy?” –Hermione, HP4

"I'm blond! My hair isn't white, it's blond! Corn silk! Sun-colored! Gold!" -Rosto (Gargh! Die Rosto, die!) , Terrier.

"A shade of red to make oxygenated blood jealous." -Me.

"Frolicking little bunnies." -Me

"Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?" -Mike, Twilight

"Those are your textbooks. They have a lot of numbers in them." Mr. H, my math teacher

"I just had the funniest sensation that we just passed by destiny." -Captain Tagger Smith, Of Wizards And Giant Butterflies (see faves)

" 'Do rats love?'

'Oh yes. We love ourselves very much.' " -Gregor and Ripred, Gregor the Overlander

"Sometimes you just need a cattle prod." -Me, talking to V in the crowded hallway at school.

"I can see the sun; I'm a hydrogen undergoing fusion!" -My sister

" 'What's the highest mountain in America?'

'The Rocky Mountain!' " - Mr. H and someone else

"I'm just an outlet for unwanted french fries." -Me.

"Life is all about stepping on other people." -AG, my assistant soccer coach and my friend MG's older sister.

"...even though he wears more mascara than Paris Hilton." -My friend R, talking about Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean

" 'Can the world buy such a jewel?'

'Yea, and a case to put it into.' " -Cladio and Benedick, Much Ado about Nothing

" 'I see, lady he is not in your books.'

'No; an he were, I would burn my study.' " -Messenger and Beatrice, Much Ado About Nothing

"But virtues are stupid." -Rhett, Gone With the Wind

"You mean you can't just drop dead?" -Life is Grammar, when I told her how much a death license costs in our state

Political Quotes (Do not read if you are an easily offended Republican with no sense of humor)

"Born with a silver foot in his mouth." -Ann somebody, talking about George Bush.

"-not afraid to get mavericky-" -Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on SNL

"Do they kill the baby with an axe?" -E, when talking about abortion

"And here's Rush Limbaugh, wearing a suit that's the color of his soul." -Jon Stuart (RL was wearing a black shirt.)

There's more. There's always more.

Serious Favorite Quotes:

“Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.” –Dumbledore, HP4

"Only the gentle are ever really strong." - James Dean

"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them." -Eeyore

"There was no going back and she was going forward." -Gone With the Wind

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

MidNight's Twisted Tales by MidNight The Magnificent reviews
Fairytales. Cannibalism. Bloodlust. What could go wrong when MidNight The Magnificent throws them all into the creative blender she calls her mind? Enjoy!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 86 - Words: 27,264 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/9/2011 - Published: 6/26/2008
The Student Bible by Iced Tea Junkie reviews
Todd Gafferty, an atheist, creates a new religion just so he can get away with stuff at school. But when he finds himself surrounded by followers, things get a little out of hand. Fans, your Todd fix has returned! Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 26,096 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 3/11/2007
Royal Notice by wabam reviews
Grace, the daughter of a poor man on a small farm, Is outraged when she finds that the rpince of 'Morgana De Fampe' is hosting a ball to pick a bride of any maiden in the land. What she did not expect is to fall in love with the man that scare's her most.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,979 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/3/2010 - Published: 8/8/2008
Recession Proof Jobs by abbyswrittenworld reviews
Ever wondered what to do as a career? From boring to obvious to just plain weird, these are the jobs will never go out of business. Please review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,629 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 8/23/2008
A Kidnappee's Survival Guide by Airizeale reviews
So you have found yourself in the cliche plot line in most fiction press stories. If you want to be kidnapped in style then this is your lucky day!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 722 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/19/2008
The Idiot's Guide to Successful Villainy by Airizeale reviews
Want to rule the world? Want evil to prevail? well I do and I plan to help all aspiring villians with my new guide!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 869 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/17/2008
Girl : Alone by Car Crash Prettyxx reviews
In this county there are two private schools. One for girls and the other for boys. But one girl gets accepted into the boys one by accident, what will happen when one lone girl is suddenly thrust back into a life of men? Only time will tell.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 78,924 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 1/19/2007 - Complete
Liberated Women in a Princessclogged World by Lizzybethrae reviews
The repressed, underrated Disney females finally boil over in this sizzling, gossip-filled letter. Do you know what Sleeping Beauty did?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,368 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Complete
Gloves by Nowhere Man 192760
A young boy gets into grave trouble in a town where you cannot expose your hands in public.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,952 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
Subscriptions by Nevrmore reviews
Brian wants to cancel his internet subscription.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Complete
Of Wizards and Giant Butterflies by R.E.D. the animator reviews
An incompetent youth sets out on a quest to find the greatest treasure in the world. Will he succeed? Will he survive? And will he be able to defeat the evil peanut butter? Probably not.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 26,972 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/9/2008 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Complete
Ode 2 Grammer by AngryMob reviews
What happens when you get really tired of bad, angry poems with horrible grammar, meter, mysterious "you"s, and very forced rhyming.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/23/2005