You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
If you think homophobia is wrong copy this into your profile
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian ( actually I am)
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I'm a GIRL so I MUST be weak
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. (wish I was!)
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be in the mafia
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. (k I'm only 13 so... I'm gonna change this to I must like them all or something.)
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude. ( Again I'm only 13 so this one doesn't really count.)
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (so not true! They're totally awesome!!)
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
The ones that are in bold are the ones that I am
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever
25 reasons i owe my mother
1) My mother taught me to apprieciate a good job done (If your going to kill each other go outside, I just cleaned up)
2)My mother taught me Religion (You better pray that comes out of the carpet)
3)My mother taught me about time travel (If you dont straighten up, I'lll knock you into next week)
4)My mother taught me logic (Because I said so, thats why)
5)My mother taught me more logic ( If you fall out of that swing and break your next you can't come to the store with me)
6)My mother taught me foresight (Make sure you wear clean underwear in case your in an accident.)
7)My mother taught me irony (keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about)
8)My mother taught me about the science of osmosis (shut your mouth and eat your supper)
9)My mother taught me about the weather (that room of yours looks like a tornado went through it)
10)My mother taught me about contortionism (Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck)
11)My mother taught me about stamina (You will sit there until all that spinach is gone0
12)My mother taught me about hypocrisy (I i've told you once, i've told you a million times, don't exaggerate)
13)My mother taught me about the circle of life (I brought you into this world and I can take you out)
14)My mother taught me about behavior modification (stop acting like your father)
15)My mother taught me about envy (there are millions of children in the world who don't have great parents like you do)
16)My mother taught me about anticipation (Just wait until we get home)
17)My mother taught me medical science (If you don't stop crossing your eyes their going to freeze that way)
18)My mother taught me about recieving (Your going to get it when we get home)
19)My mother taught me about Esp (put your sweater on, don't you think I know when your cold)
20)My mother taught me about humor (when that lawnmower cuts off your toes don't come crying to me)
21)My mother taught me genetics (Your just like your father)
22)My mother taught me how to grow up (If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up)
23)My mother taught me about my roots (Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?)
24)My mother taught me about wisdom (when you get to be my age you'll understand)
25) My mother taught me about REVENGE (One day you'll have kids and I hope they're just like you)
1. Twilight is awesome- if you think so, copy and paste THIS in your profile
2. If someone has to ask you a question three times before you get it, copy and paste this on your profile.
3. If you ever had a GiGgLiNg FiT for No REASON, copy and paste this in your profile.
4. If you ever thought you were NuTsO after eating a whole PAck of Coco Pops, copy and paste this in your profile.
5. If you ever TrIpPeD over your own TWO fEeT and started LAUGHING...COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE...
In October 1998, a twenty-one-year-old student at the University of Wyoming was kidnapped, severely beaten and left to die, tied to a fence in the middle of the prairie outside Laramie, Wyoming. His bloody, bruised and battered body was not discovered until the next day, and he died several days later in an area hospital. His name was Matthew Shepard, and he was the victim of this assault because he was gay.
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