Death to K INTERNATIONAL!!

Doom to Kel!

The woman screamed, "An alien! It wants to swallow our brains!" she gripped her boyfriend, holding on for dear life.
"Don't do it, man, I need what little brain I have!" the couple then ran away, screaming about a horrible, brain-eating monster that tried to attack them.

This is approved by the Hammer and Sickle!

don't forget to THINK, sometime it WORKS!

I’m reaaaaalllly tempted to see if I will die if I jump off this fuckin chair

I wonder if I fell from this height,” Zexion thought staring at the ground, “Would the impact be enough to kill me?”

uhg, whatever happened to the days when people discussed
they're problems instead of just eating each other
sigh tut tut tut I'm dissapointed in you,
May, you're better than that...

Be perverted technique…check. This never works… no clue why.
Physical technique… check. Note to self: Grabbing girls round the waist equals instant bad reactions…
Stalker technique…check. See Be Perverted. Ok… I do have a clue. I don’t think she likes me staring at her through her bedroom window, even when she isn’t changing…

I was born on a battlefield. Raised on a battlefield. Gunfire, sirens and screams... They were my lullabies

Aren’t you being a little overdramatic?”

he would go happily, painfully sure... but happily

Always waiting, Always lurking, Always in darkness!

Sakura for the love of all that is good and precious, for the sake of every man, woman, and Sasuke, don't strip

Now he understand why Kagome said that in her time when a girl gave a gay guy a boner while dancing it was a compliment

Tobi was legally insane. Naruto himself saw the license

"Oh man, Quatre loves to blame himself for everything if you let him. Sooner or later he'll
say there's no air in space because he didn't work on it hard enough." -Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz

"Tell me, what's it like living in a perpetual haze of stupidity?" -Hiei speaking to Kuwabara (YYH)

"I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but ye take th' cake fer tha'! Ye don' make bombs go BOOM
in yer face!" -Jin to Yuusuke

"I can't believe I said all that touchy-feely stuff for nothing!" -Yuusuke (YYH)

"Kurama, don't make me rip out your precious voice-box." -Hiei (YYH)

"Why do I get the feeling that one day I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?" -Lisa, The Simpsons

"Lord . . . what the hell am I doing here?" -Wolfwood, Trigun

"I'll turn him into a flea...a harmless little flea. Then, I'll put that flea in a box, then
I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it
arrives...AHAHAHA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT I TELL
YOU! GENIUS I SAY!" -Eizma, The Emperors New Groove

"If you wish to taste the ground feel free to attack me." -Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Anyone who sees me has got a date with his maker!" -Duo Maxwell, episode 2 of Gundam Wing

"There's no way... I'll lose... To a coward who's always whining about destiny." -Naruto

"I will never let my comrades die!" -Kakashi, Naruto vol. 2 (Shonen Jump english)

"I'm risking my life for this weirdo?" Terazuma, Yami no Matsuei vol. 9 (Viz english)

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries,
is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'" -Isaac Asimov

"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts." -Unknown

"Raising a teenager is like nailing jello to a tree." -a warning to all who have children

"A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt

"Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex?
Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets,
respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere
to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting
three times your body wight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy. And if God hadn't made it
unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm.
Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?" -Dr. Allison Cameron - House, M.D.

"Life with men is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them,
a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards." -Unknown

"All I see in your sword is fear. If I dodge, I'm afraid of being hit. If I'm protecting someone,
I'm afriad they'll die. If I attack, I'm afaid I'll cut them. There is no place for fear here.
Do you see the resolve to cut you in my blade? If I dodge, I won't let you hit me. If I'm protecting
someone, I won't let them die. If I'm attacking, I will cut you." -Urahara Kisuke to Kurosaki Ichigo, Bleach.

I should have known. In life I wasn’t given a break, so why should I expect anything different in the afterlife

Both stories are the stories of my life. And that's who I am

"But we know that's not your real name." -Hikari Tsuki

"I'm surrounded by Idiots." Scar, from, The Lion King.

"Microsoft...WORD!"- Shika-kun the 2nd and Me.

"I'm so cool, it hurts." -Me.

"...What could go wrong?" -Cosmo from The Fairly Oddparents.

"Say Whaaaaaaaat?" -Paul from my class.

"Let's have a moment of silence for this man's dignity." -Garfield the cat.

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I or the others crazy?"-Albert Einstein.

"Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most." -Mark Twain.

"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and having him catch his hand in the drill." -Johnny Carson.

"If the world's a stage, I want to operate the trapdoor." -Paul Beatly.

"Stay in school, if not, get a career in acting." -My mom.

"I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere-land! With Paul!" -Maddie from my class.

"House-Man-Zah-Der-Hoosen?" -Sam, trying to say some football player's name.

"You can throw me like a boomerang, I'll come back and beat you up..." -Ashlee Simpson, La La

"Hello ladies." -Tom.

"Hello Desperate." -Emma.

"Bikinis are for squares. I am not a square. I am a circle." -Myself.

"You can't go in there! ...I haven't cleaned my room in ten years." -My neighbor Katie.

"If I'm a tiger... what are you? Should I eat you?" -Myself.

"Well, you've never had your hand bitten off by a weasel before!" -Me

"If you use a screwdriver to sniff the strawberries, you'll never get Michael Jackson to win the horserace" - Kelcey

"I call this my spirit sword monster beast doughnut!" -Kuwabara

"It's a ninja thing" - Me

"Well Gaara has... -dude, you ever seen star wars?" - Me

"Watching Hiei fall out of a tree never fails to make me smile" - Me

"I have a thing for guys in eyeliner" - Nina

"Today I got lost on the road of life" - Kakashi

"Shut up or I'll stab you with my spirit gun" - Me

"Who wants to sit on my lap? (crickets chirp) ...Anyone?" - John

"holds MM in hand I wish for spontaneous combustion...looks into hands Not you!" - Kelcey

"You Maka me bleed!" - Random Puuchuu

"I'm not bitter or anything but goddam!" - Excel

"I woke up NAKED!" - John

SNG: FAUST IS A SEXY BEAST!
KNK: DAMN STRAIGHT!

"There's no way I'm going to drink some white juice thats secreted from a cow!" - Edward Elric

Manta: Yoh, that Ren kid wants to take you out!
Yoh: Take me out where?

"shut up or I'll squish you"- Gaara in a fanfic by sand-nin-gurl

"I'll stab him while he's doing the YMCA" -Dave

"quick, let's bury him before somebody blames us" - Ari

"where are my underpants?"
"you cant were underware untill we remove the bandages" -from the show 'the venture brothers'

Cosmo: Well, you've lived a good life, right?
Timmy: I'm only ten!
Cosmo: I said good, not long.

And so we march on, for better or for worse!

The name’s Axel, A-X-E-L got it memorized?”

Xigbar: Clever little sneak!

Saix: Different name, same fate.

Demyx: Oh we do to have Hearts. Dance water, dance!

Life's meaning is not so much found, as it is made. -Opus

There are no weak soldiers under a valiant commander. -Yondaime

"Gentlemen, I like war. Gentlemen, I like war. Gentlemen, I love war.

I like genocide, I like blitzkrieg, I like agressive war, I like defensive war,
I like sieges, I like breaking through, I like withdrawing, I like cleaning up,
I like retreating. In moors, on highways, in trenches, in plains, on tundra,
in desert, on sea, in sky, in mud and in marches. I love every aspect
of war that takes place on this earth.

I like blowing away the enemy with the thunderous roar of a line of guns
going off all at once. When an enemy is shot to pieces after being thrown high
into the air, my heart dances. I like crushing the enemy's tank with the 88 MM on
our tanks. When I mowed down the enemy who fled screaming from the burning tank with
an MG, my heart leapt. I like it when the infantry plow through the enemy's lines
with their bayonets all in line. I remember being moved when seeing new recruits,
filled with panic, stabbing an already dead enemy again and again. Seeing an escapee
being strung from a lamp post in the street is unendurably exciting. Seeing a captive
be thrown down with a piercing shriek as my own hand falls, was spectacular. When the
pitiful resistance came bravely with their small firearms, and we destroyed them and
a good chunk of the city with the 4.8 ton bomb, I was at my height. I like it when we
are destroyed with the morning dew. It is a sad thing when the town one is supposed to
protect is trampled, and the women and children violated and killed. I like being
squashed and destroyed by England and America's amount of material resources; being
followed by English and American forces and having to crawl around on the ground like
a pesky insect is the ultimate disgrace.
Gentlemen, I desire a war that is like Hell. Gentlemen, my companions
in the battalion who follow me, what do you desire? Do you desire war
as well? Do you desire a war of no mercy? Do you desire a conflict that
stretches the limits of iron, wind, lightning, and fire to the limit,
one that will kill all the crows on this planet?

Very well, then we shall have krieg!" -Major Montana Max, from Hellsing, Volume 4.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." -Leonardo De Vinci

"Humans say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Why? Do they think there's a shortage of bad ones?" -Unknown

"You're a nazi." -Angel
"What? Oh. No, I just ate one." -Spike

"You guys do have names right? Let me guess, Steve?"
"I am your death. That is all you need to know."
"I prefer Steve." -Unknown

"God created men first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece." -Unknown

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." -Unknown

someone wins so someone else has to lose.

"Life is like a lemon, you never know when It'll squirt ya in the eye. -And when it does? My GOD it burns!" - Me

"Life is like a Lemon, you have to read it twice to get all the good parts" - Melody

"Life is like a Yaoi lemon, you have to read it over and over and over again to figure out how the heck they can do that" - Me

"Whenever you're angry, play DDR. It helps. Unless you really stink and then it will just make you even more mad" - Me

"Never give up on a person, no matter how hopeless it seems" - Kelcey

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it." -Unknown

You killed him, you pink haired BASTARDS

Sasuke “We’ll fight fire with fire!”
You’re gonna set them on fire?” Naruto grinned, “Cool

Dreams? Dreams are useless, they are but a representation of what you cannot have.
You can dream all you want, and dreams they will stay. As much as you may dream you will
always wake to see nothing has changed." - Me

"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much" - Oscar Wilde

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you" -Oscar Wilde

What is a cynic? Someone who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing."- Oscar Wilde

The truth is rarely pure and never simple."- Oscar Wilde

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams."

don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel,but I am, so that's how it comes out

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.The mime next door went nuts" -Stephen Wright

Stupid people and their stupid things

You look at me from the inside and laugh because I'm different, But I look at you from the outside and laugh because you're all the same - Unknown

'All Good Things Come To An End

I don't ponder over such trivial things," Itachi

Your not garbage," Itachi said.
"Really?" Kisame asked hopefully.
"No," Itachi said in return, but paused before continueing, "Your a moron

Itachi thought for a moment before answering, "To collect all the Jinchuuriki, rule the world, get married,
have seven boys and three girls, go skinny dipping, live in a palace, kill Kisame, and
kill two dozen chickens in no more than five seconds," he answered in one breath.

Revenge is not justice. It simply continues the wheel of suffering

if at first you don't succeed ...cheat repeat until caught ... then lie

THE POWER OF YOUTH!!” Posing once again Might Gai stood there unaware of the looks he was receiving.
After I conquer Konoha, he’s the first one to die

Dislikes
- when i get mad or annoyed ..i twitch...welll my right eye does...I HATE THAT!..the worse part is if i realy get mad I twitch ...i hate it...
-preps
- overly happy people, sad people, stupid people, annoying people, preppy people, people who think they're better than everyone else
-over all I generally don't like people.
-I probably don't like you. (u may take offense in that, I really dont care)
-homophobes
- flamers (generally they just annoy me, like almost everything else . . . but I really don't care, flame me if you want.)
-liars, fakes, cheats, pedophiles
-idiots, morons, cheerleaders
-my moms constant nagging, it's quite troublesome.. .

"Must be nice to have someone to blame when all goes wrong" - me

Don't worry, I heard idiots are imortal" -Raine from Emotions are for the weak

"Raine gave it to me as a keepsake" (Sarcastic tone)

"Shut up if you want me to tell you more about Raine you'd keep your mouth shut" Kai and Tala talking fom Emotions are for the week.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be training!" (Do I really need to say it?) Kai Hiwatari

Destiny stalks the tales of man like a shadow on his trail. The battles he fights,
the trials he endures, all he was destined to win or to lose.Yet the irony remains
thus,Only he who wars against his destiny will be remembered in the end, until the End

Not at all. My sense of humor is perfectly normal. It’s everyone else’s that is weird.” Bawa solemnly stated, still grinning like a madman.

ARGH!! How the hell are you this damn good at chess?!” Bawa practically was on the verge of pulling his hair out.
‘Because, unlike you, I actually have a brain,’ was Kyuubi’s snide reply.

I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy.
No, revenge is a dish best served cold.
I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell.
I'll just crush him like an ant." (Simpsons)

I'm actually looking forward to death now. Because when I die, I'm going to kick his ass!

you'd better pray you survive it and if you do, you may wish you hadn't."

The Mind is a terrible thing to waste...but it is so fun to destoy

First he goes and melts her heart, and now he taunts her with that metabolism? Evil, evil boy

Some people got small gifts, and others were greater. Sasuke, wondered, why he had a vibrator.
Shizune was out cold, she felt very dizzy. Tsunade got to work, being the Hokage meant she was always busy.
Kiba got his bone and Shino got his cream, while Shikamaru got nothing, he was still off in some dream.
Sakura got her corset and Tenten got an ax, and with Chouji getting food, he couldn’t just sit down and relax.
With his braces and retainer, Lee couldn’t fight in combat. Meanwhile, Hinata got to work on her new exercise mat.
While it wasn’t what she wanted, the thong Ino did like, while Neji got some exercise on hi brand new bike.
Kakashi had his magazines and got to relax, coaxing Anko to continually feed him snacks.
Haku was outraged as he threw the panties into the air, but Zabuza was so busy with his new sword that
he didn’t his partner’s despair.
The bomb that Naruto left caused the Suna mansion to fall, and while Temari and Gaara cleaned, Kankuro began
dressing his new doll.
Kabuto and the Sound Four were hiding due to Orochimaru’s lack of control, as the snake king went crazy when he
had that lump of coal.
Still…no one ever figured out where the hell the Akatsuki was.

When your food waves at you, maybe it's time to have a change in diet.

The pain of one, and the desire to destroy all

ninja rule #100, don’t die!!

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to give into the darkness,
to completely succumb myself in the tempting power to feel dirty,
to feel violated , to feel corrupted to the very core. That moment
with the sound ninja I felt power beyond my dreams, it was like the
Kyuubi’s but still its essence was so much like my own and I liked
it no scratch that I loved it, the feeling of absolute control. I
wonder if that is how Sasuke feels like with his curse seal and that
scares me:; will I to become a monster who care’s only about
himself a person who is willing to sell his soul for his own self
satisfaction. Sora told me that it was okay, it was necessary to
let out the darkness once in a while; if something like that is
cooped up in the body for to long it will eventually want out. He
told me that he had gone through a similar transformation and it
was one of the most powerful weapons at my disposal. This
transformation is known as the Anti- form, the name is such
because it represents everything a person doesn’t wasn’t to be.

You are darkness, yet you are light
You are tainted, yet you are pure
You want to destroy, yet you protect
You are an Angel, yet you have one wing
What the hell is this thing?

Timmy: Hollywood lied to me!
Cosmo: Hollywood lied? Curse you movie critic, Gene Shalot

I will make you regret it
That won't stop me from trying

Yes it is mine, all mine
I will rule
It is my right
My purpose
My existence
I am King

Silent as the dead

You do realize Hatake, that in the Shinobi world, the mission, is what counts, not your teammates

Those who break the rules are trash. But those who abandon their comrades…are worse than trash

we all mest would on to are fath for in the end it is all we have

am i crasy or am i genus?!

Why can’t you just be a good human and die?”
-Naruto One tailed state to Zabuza

“Umm…I know this is incredibly rude…but are you a boy or a girl?”
-Naruto to Haku

“Die now.”
-Naruto to Sasuke

Dude…I’ve got an insane bi-sexual vulpine with a libido like Gamabunta living inside my head.”
-Naruto to Jiraiya

You’ll never make it.”
“I have to try.”
-Conversation between ?? and Naruto

Hell…hell is only a word…the reality…is much, much WORSE!”
-Naruto to ??

“Heh, they always called me ‘dobe’…who woulda guessed there’d be some truth in it.”
-Naruto to himself

“Remember kit, in order for your deception to work, you’re going to have to…restrain yourself a little.”
There was a moment of silence.
“A little?”
Kyubi sighed, “Ok, a lot. You can do that, right?”
Naruto was silent for another moment.
“Uhhh…”
“We’re so screwed aren’t we?”
-Conversation between Kyubi and Naruto

Naruto: who is Goku??
Sasuke: the name Vageta sound wrong and dirty……
Gaara: why do you all think I like my student??
Me: well do you?

Unknown- Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile

Roronoa Zoro- If you die, I'll kill you!

Robert Byrne- No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one

Spike Spiegel- There are three things I hate the most: Kids, pets, & women with additude. So tell me, why do we have all
of them packed into our ship

AnimeNation- Life. Death. Anime in between

Ginta Toramizu - Anime is my anti-drug. Because when you're addicted to anime, how can you possibly afford drugs

Never argue with an idiot, for they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."~Unknown

“Hmph, you are a weakling human who doesn’t deserve to know my real name! And Bawa,
before you say something stupid about how you’re not technically a human, you’re to plain stupid to know,
so buzz off.”

YOU—SHALL—NOT—PASS!!

In Soviet Konoha, Naruto owns you!

to be forgotten is wose then death

all gave some, some gave all

I don't want to attack him, I want to kill him

If I died... nobody would miss me, it's not the case for you

With one kiss, two hearts were broken.
With one kiss, two loves were scorned
With one kiss, one vow was made.
“They will pay

Stop feeling sorry for me. You should really be feeling sorry
for Sasuke and Sakura.” Naruto slurped some noodles. “They’re gonna pay

I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership.” The two shook hands and smiled evilly

I see,” said Gaara. “You are like me after all. Except, you are insane.”
“Well, that’s a matter of opinion,” said Naruto with a chuckle. “Now, LET’S HAVE SOME FUN

What, now your being all Darth Vader like, Simmons I swear you’re just like a retarded servant monkey

Okay I’ll go and talk to O’Malley in my head. I SHALL KILL AAAAAALLLLLLLLLL BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Why even bother he always sends me to do something that evolves in killing me.” Said Griff

Finally I have my own body now I will destroy the universe.” Said O’Malley

LOPEZ, Lopez is back, ah shit. Tucker try and hold off the reds.”
“What I’m not a fighter I’m a lover.”
“Just do it Tucker or I’ll kill you myself.”

Burning cherry tree Ev'ry blossom is aflame
Uh, here come the cops

Russell likes to hurt people. For peace

One dreams of death. One dreams of life. Neither dream of consequences.
A hero fails, a hero succeeds. Time twists and destiny is changed. A hero spares life,
a hero extinguishes life. Time twists and destiny is never the same

500 laps? They are either crazy, or dead serious about training...

Like you just got hit by a train, Run over by a car, nailed to a post, starved for 13 days, ripped in half,
burned by Katon jutsu’s for an hour, all simultaneously?” Suggested the Kyuubi helpfully

Hinata mumbled, “Never train with that guy. Its bad for your health.”
Kakashi chuckled. “I’m surprised you survived.” He remarked dryly

You use all teh muscel you can in a fight...but miss the important one"
Said Naruto bending over them from his tree like cheshire the cat in Alice in wonderland.

After all, Nothingness is eternal...

As long as I live I’ll never understand girls.” He sighed in disbelief as he picked up shards of glass

Then I should tell Kakashi and maybe Jiraiya. On second thought, don’t tell Jiraiya.

Could Naruto be pretending to be that girl? Nah, that is just…BRILLIANT

Stomping a mudhole and walking it dry..." -Jim Ross

"When life gives you lemons, find someone whos life is giving them vodka, and have a party." -Ron White.

"Time to play hit or miss! Contestant Number 1 Open your mouth! Contestant Number 2 Get Ready.
hands knife Will he hit or miss? THUNK He hit!" -The Jokers Wild

"I dont think sitting in the corner giggling like a
prepubescent monkey qualifies as helping... funny though" -Sarge RedVsBlue

"Dude I friggin dare you to say Chihuahua and not giggle" - Me

Naruto grinned. “Simple: Kick you in the balls and run away

Sakaguchi Hironobu is the creator of Final Fantasy. Bow to him, mortal.

2: Itagaki Tomonobu is the creator of Dead or Alive. If you consider yourself a man,
you will worship the ground he walks on.

Hironobu raised an eyebrow. “That woman’s arch-enemy is a bird? What a maroon.”
“Let me try!” Mai said, and whistled.
Unfortunately, she had whistled in a very distinct pattern, and only once Tsunami had bent over to pull a new garment from
her laundry basket.
Furious, the woman rounded on the hidden ninjas, screaming, “You perverted bird! I swear to Kami-sama I’ll mount you over my
fireplace! That’s the last time you check out my butt!”
“She thinks Mai’s a perverted bird that stares at her ass?” Hironobu said. “Whatever they’re smoking in Wave Country,
I want some.”

Neji: "WTF are you babling about woman

Tsunade: "Don't kill my buzz

Sakura: (trapping Kakashi's hands before he could leave) "I'll break your arms and legs,
then force you to spend a month
hospitalized in the same room with Gai-sensei."
Kakashi: "Okay, but only because you're my treasured student.

Sakura finally left Kakashi to his own thoughts. "Well Obito old friend, I have no idea what advice I gave her,
I'm just glad she bought it

Temari: "Well as long as we're official I'm happy," she said, getting up and walking to the door.
Shikamaru: "Where are you going?"
Temari: "To the nurse's office. Someone needs to patch up these 37 stab wounds"
Shikamaru: "What stab wounds?"
Temari: "Exactly."
Shikamaru: It never fails, she shows up, and I end up filling out more paperwork for damaged property...
He stopped to rethink that thought. ... and people

Naruto: "Right, and Orochimaru wanted Sasuke here only for his charming personality."
Sai: "I thought he wanted Sasuke's body."
Sasuke: "Oi, don't make it sound like that."
Sai: "Like what?"
Sasuke: "Like he was molesting me."
Sai: "Like what?"
Sasuke: "... he was molesting me."
Sai: "You walked right into that one. Ouch!"

If you can fool your friends you can always fool your enemies

How? Now in his moment of triumph? He was going to die

I'll show you - destiny can be changed." Naruto

Naruto did something to really piss her off. I don’t know whether to run for the hills, or
to find a good seat to watch when the fireworks commence

Without evil, we can have no good,

This is me. I am a tool of destruction,
but I’m no fool when it comes to life

I would ask the terms of the deal, of course. What am I to do, and more importantly,
what is in it for me?”

Whatever you say, scary voice in my head

Ever notice that the expression “heads up” really means “whatever you do, don’t look up”?

I don’t know whether I should scream or throw up. Let’s go again

Saved by the stampede? That’s a new one to me

Old enough to kill, old enough to hang out at a bar

If I die, I’ll come back from the dead and haunt you for all eternity

mask. “Guys great news!” he shouted.
“You learned how to cook?” Joked Hinata.
“You bought hair tonic?” Joked Naruto.
“You are being hauled into an insane asylum?” replied Sasuke in a serious face.

The best time to make friends is before you need them

Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief

Shit Happens When You Go To School Naked

Murderer Plus Demon Equals Arrested

“Are we being interrogated?”
“Yes.”
“Cool! I ‘ve never been interrogated before!” Naruto cheered, glad his question had been ansered.
The Akatsuki members sweatdropped and continued.
“Why were you seen with this-!”
Just then, the door opened, revealing Itachi.
“Hey look! It’s Sasuke’s brother!” Itachi stared at the boy pointing at him.
“Where’s Sasuke?” he asked.
“What?”
“I heard you got arrested so I figured it was because of him.”
“…What?”
“Hey guess what?”
“What?”
“I have toast in my locker!”
“You guys have lockers?”
“Kind of.” Cat man sighed.
“Guess what else?”
“What?”
“I like pie!”
“Okay…”
“Please make my brother happy!”
“What?”
“You know what else else?”
“What?”
“I’m a part-time thong model!”
And with that, he ripped off all his clothes,
revealing a tiger striped thong from which he pulled a black book with a lock. Meanwhile,
Bird-man was muttering something that sounded an awful lot like, ‘Not again…’

I think you’re insane, that’s what I think

I’m not molesting anyone. Molesting kids is Orochimaru’s thing

It defies the laws of science…” Neji gaped

Your enemies will always fear you more, if they do not even know you exist

Like you just got hit by a train, Run over by a car, nailed to a post, starved for 13 days,
ripped in half,
burned by Katon jutsu’s for an hour, all simultaneously?” Suggested the Kyuubi helpfully

Remorse is for the Dead

Rated for cannibalism and gore and death and all the things people like about violence!

share everything in our lives. Our happiness, our pain, our lust, but most of all we share our love

Now go to her. Kit, you’re living the dream. A girl on each arm, a sword on your back,
and the only thing that you’re missing is a motorcycle

I am not cazzy , contrary to the popular belief

What the? I could have sworn I had a genin team... maybe I dreamed it all?”

I'm just saying, right now, no way. Sorry. no. Not happening'

Did I hear suffering? Is there suffering going on and I'm not causing it?”

Hate. It can eat at you. Tear away your insides Hate. It can eat at you. Tear away your insides

I will not sacrafice the individual for the greater good!"- Ashley Winchester, WA2: 2nd Ignition

"Check it, I grew up a fuckin screw up
Got introduced to the game,
got a ounce and fuckin blew up"- Biggie Smalls, Runnin' by Tupac

"You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead. . .

Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die?"- Also from Runnin'

No man is an Island, entire of itself;every man is a peice of the Continent, a part of the maine;
if even a clot of mud is washed away by the Sea, the world is the less, as well as if a large rock were,
as well as if a Manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any mans death diminishes me,
beacuse I am involved in Mankind; And therefore do not ask for whom the bell tolls...
it tolls for thee."- John Donne

Alice McCoy.""That's almost the same as having no personallity."

People always feel pain in their hearts. The heart is easy to wound,
that's why living is painful" - Nagisa Kaworu, Evangelion

"How can you determine the sane from the insane? Perhaps we're all insane" - Takato, age 16

"I know, I know! We're rebels, not crooks. Sorry, dude, but I got carried away!" - Manic to Sonic

If man forgets about the past, he is doomed to repeat it" - Seele 02, Evangelion

There's a place in France where the naked monkeys dance" - Doctor Doolittle II

No, you said wet shirt don't break, not piss shirt bend bar" - Owen Wilson, Shanghai Noon

Oh my, it's gotten awfully quiet back there. Are you guys making out?" - Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki episode 2

Seeing a hawk is sacred. seeing a wolf is memorable. getting revenge is just plain human

I'm falling...into darkness...but the weirdest thing is...i don't care

Of course, god. Drag me into some weird-ass world, alone, and make me walk to get my keyblade when I have one,
no wait, THREE fucking holes in my chest. Thanks a lot.

Xemnas gave a short smile. “I don’t play fair

He installed a fifteen digit access code to his room and it seems that he can’t remember it.”

“Are you just going to let him stay there, then?”

Zexion whirled the chair around, a smirk on his face. “No. Of course not. It’s only a matter of time before
he thinks of using the international cliché. That being jamming his aerial blades in the door to melt through.
At that time, lawyers will come and at the very least get him out of the room before he dissolves them
into nothingness. It’s easier than figuring out the code.”
“And how exactly will the lawyers get in the room, not to mention getting him out?”
Zexion turned back to the console. “Lawyers are mysterious beings.”
Luxord sighed, remembering a day rather filled with loss. “So true

I’m not evil.” she told her pillow. Unconvinced, the squishy pillow withheld it’s judgement

Take away a man’s life, books, music, and basically everything that distracts him and you
leave him with only himself and his thoughts and that
is the worst punishment you can give anyone”-The Suffering

Laugh at my comedies, not at me

Hannibal grunted darkly. “If you say so. But I warn you, you will regret this.
You haven’t seen the last of Hannibal Roy Bean.”
“That would be too much to hope for,” Dashi agreed

Be happy. That's all I ask. In the end, your happiness is all I wish for

warm and desolate; homey and forlorn; perfect and torn. It was my Heaven, in a morbid sort of way

Rayman: O.o …I’m seeing double…
En: Really? I just see two idiots

Rumors are rumors and are hardly ever true. This case is no different.
Those rumors are not true and I’m glad you asked me instead of mindlessly jumping into conclusions.

If I could feel, I’d probably feel a mix between anger and humiliation

Like him in the context of a possible friend, yes. Like him in the context that I think you mean, no

Even when you have no name, no past, no home and no memory, there's still plenty you can lose

Maybe he was planing to kill himself, she could only hope

Grand Prix; 2012?”
“I don’t do races…”
“Tennis?”
“Playing sports while sitting on the couch…sounds glorious…”
“Star Fox Adventures?”
“Talking animals bother me.”
“That’s just rude…”
“What?” I had heard him. But, the remark came suddenly.
I was slightly surprised. But, nothing came of it.
Beast Boy just kept up his search.
“Duck hunt?”
“Aren’t you a vegetarian?”
“Vampire Piggies 2?”
“Interesting… But no.”

Ha! You know your going crazy when I start making sense

Dear Hokage, your crystal ball didn't make a good baseball, you can have it back

“You must be the worst psychiatrist that CLOWN COLLEGE every produced!” Jack hollered as he was dragged away

Where did you get you’re M.D? Hell!?

All information of or pertaining to the personal history and activities of Doctor Seek Patience is strictly classified.
Written permission, access codes, voice identification, and bribe required.
If you would like to schedule an appointment...we suggest you have your head examined

Yes, now I have better things to do then be here.” Xemnas stepped back a few steps from the four.
“Like what?” Xigbar asked.
“Sleep, bye now.” Xemnas disappeared within the darkness, leaving the four dumb struck men.
“Did he just…?”
“I think he just did…”
I’m confused.” Xigbar stated.
“Aren’t we all,” Xaldin walked into the room Vexen dragged Demyx into,
leaving Xigbar to stand out in the middle of the hallway.

Should we be scared?” Liak commented from down below.
“Hmmm…it would be more entertaining if you were.” The man named Saix rubbed his chin.
‘Bastard”, Liak thought

Vexen and an unhappy looking Zexion walked on stage. Vexen was wearing a long black cape and Zexion had a top hat.
"For my first act, I am going to saw Zexion in half.." Vexen began.
"Like hell you are!" Zexion protested, "just make me disappear so I can get outta here

"She'll be teaching them math- one bullet at a time! Okay, it'll be like, "If you have five bullets,
and you shoot the btch that didn't pay you back that money, how many bullets would you have left?"
"Uh, well, that depends- did the btch run?"

"Funny . . . they never look psychotic when they're sleeping." -Master Roshi about Piccolo, Dragonball

"No matter how much a monkey evolves, it's still a monkey." -Gohan, DBZ or DBGT

"HEEERRRROOOO! I'm right over here, so come and KIIILLLL MEEEE!" -Relena Peacecraft/Darlian, Gundam Wing

"Each and every time I fight, my heart disappears more and more." -Trowa Barton, Gundam Wing

"I don't mind being the God of Death forever." -Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing

Yuusuke: "Tell you what: Give up now, and I'll only rip out ONE of your lungs.”
Suzaku: "And if I refuse?"
Yuusuke: "Then hold your stinkin' breath."

You're a team-player, a save-the-day superhero . . . I hate people like you." -Hiei to Yuusuke (YYH

You're always smiling, real friendly like... but your smile is so empty,
it hurts to watch you! It's like you're hurting like crazy inside, and grinning to hide it. That's how it looked to me..."
-Wolfwood to Vash, Trigun

Aw, man! Death and Poverty like me so much they brought friends!" -Vash, Trigun

Is anyone here NOT trying to kill me!?" -Lupin, Lupin III

I'm sorry, but it wouldn't work! You're a man; I'm a woman. We're just too different!" -Leela to Fry, Futurama

Life is what you make of it. Death is what you wish for when you screw that up

Anime. Crack is cheaper." saying on wallet

Ow, my ankle! I think I twisted it! I-Hey! A quarter!" Ross, Friends

Ah! Who are you and why are you breathing on me?!" Kermit the Frog, A Muppet Christmas

I hope you slip on a banana peel, fall over, and DIE!!" Shuichi Shindou, Gravitation vol. 1

Sand. It's everywhere. Get used to it!" Genie, Aladdin and the King of Thieves

Don’t look at the glass half empty, don’t look at the glass half full,
just find the bastard that drank half your soda and beat the shit outta him!

A friend will bail you out of jail. A real friend will be in the cell next to you saying 'Damn!...but that was fun!!

Don't let the bed bugs bite. Thats my job!"

"Sarcasm, just one more service I offer

Religion is for people afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there

Knock hard, life is deaf." Mimi Parent

All religions issue bibles against Satan, and say the most injerious things about him,
but we never get to hear his side." - Mark Twain

School is a necessary evil that we all must endure

When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.
When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.
LOOK MA, NO BRAIN!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man

Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME,I QUIT

If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again

Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them

When your right, no one remembers, when your wrong, no one forgets

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. - Anonymous

Caution: Xigbar was drunk in the making of this video...

naruto: When life gives you lemons JUST EAT THE FREAKING LEMONS...or squirt them at the eyes of your enemy.

ADDKN: Knowledge is power...but power corrupts...corruption is a crime...and crime never pays...so if you study you'll go broke!!

Me!" Sasori sweat-dropped. Why must the heavens punish him so? ... Okay maybe he killed a lot of people...
and he didn't really believe in god.. but thats no reason why he should be stuck with some idiot who likes
to take random kids off the street and claim to be his long lost, never had child!

We? Who said I was involved?"

An anti-hero’s as much a hero as anyone else, even if they do get in your way

DROP THE CHOCOLATE AND NOBODY GETS HURT

Do I look like I care?...at all?"My most famous line

Lexaeus/Olette WHERE do you people get this stuff FROM??

Xaldin:Yep,and I slept in the spare bed upstairs
Alyson:I have a spare bed?I have a second floor?
Xaldin:You do now!

Zexion:It is not a dictionary!
(Zexion summons his so called dictionary)
Xaldin:Watch out!He's about to use long big words on you

'Oh god. I have a team of psychopaths. This will either be the best team ever. Or they'll end up killing me.

For his birthday, buy him a moon-shaped doll, saying that it is as close to Kingdom Hearts as he’ll ever get

Thirteen Ways to Make Xigbar Wish He Had A Machine Gun So He Could Shoot Faster

Kyuubi is not a nice fox… in fact, most would say he was downright evil. And they’re right…

You don’t know?” asked Gnarl in surprise. “What are they teaching you kids in school nowadays?”
“How to kill silently and effectively.” said Naruto cracking his joints.
“Hmm that’s nice.” said Gnarl smirking. “That’s a good educational system

You want a weakness? I have no weakness, everything hurts me all the same, a lot

I don’t own ‘em, I just torture ‘em

May he rest in peace though we might not

That is true. And he did try. But trying is not as good as succeeding

Kyuubi said "This is your mind. There's enough empty space to run around in

Kisame complained "Are we there yet?"

WHAT?! YOU MEAN THE BASTARD HAS SOME INNATE ABILITY TO FORCE GIRLS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM?!” Asked Axel,

This is even better than that time when Xaldin got drunk.”
“Shut up and pass the popcorn, Vexen

Love will be Rewarded with Awkward Situations

Because if you dont im gonna reach down your throat and pull a rabbit out of your ass."

If you see me do not dread
For very soon you shall be dead
If you see me you will die
Your heart will soon belong to I

What happened next was something that has never happened before.
The great and fearsome Kyuubi No Kitsune fainted from shock.
Followed shortly after by Naruto due to laughing to much.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Welcome to the Internet, my friend. It lets every crazy on earth come
together to write stuff like this about every ancient hero that has ever existed.”

Sure he carries that scythe around, but I don't think he actually uses it. It's too clean!'

if I had a gun, I would pistol whip the living crap out of you right now

Oh...the things I could hit you with

"Oh, I'm serious," responded the agent, putting away his badge. "And don't call me 'Shirley'

Sorry. I'm only the narrator. I can't do anything for you

If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength,
evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak,
that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united,
separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them.
Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.

You both look quite deadly today if I can say so myself.”

All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack,
we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near,
we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.’
Meaning you must fight without being lead into deception

I'll explaine it to those that still don't get it. Say you're on a road trip and you have a map.
You have yo go to an intersection of sorts to get to the right road. On the map there are three roads at this intersection.
One leads to where you want to go, and the other two you already know where they go because they're on the map.
But when you get to the intersection,
you discover that there are in fact five different roads, not just three. You know where three of these roads go,
but the other two you have no idea about, but you just have to check it out and map it yourself.
That's exactly what's happening it me right now,
but instead of five roads, there are five hundred roads, yet I still only know where three of them lead.

In short: this is going to be one hell of a road trip, and I hope you'll all come along with me

No. Happy endings don’t exist. You can’t love me forever.”That was the most he had ever heard her say at once.
It amazed, shocked, and scared him all at the same time.

I am: a Sorceress,
Pokemon Trainer,
Spirit Detective,
Ninja,
Summoner,
Alchemist (they call me the 'toy maker Alchemist')
Digidestined/Digimon Tamer,
Jedi,
Avatar,
Psychic,
Shapeshifter,
Judger of Souls,
and occasional part-time Death God/Soul Reaper

I was a god!I was immortal!…I was a fool

Sakura hate Naruto,
Naruto hate Sasuke,
and Sasuke hates ramen.
But Sakura loves Sasuke,
Sasuke loves Naruto,
and Naruto loves... ramen?
How did this happen?

He's still evil... He's still deadly... and he's still surrounded by frickin' idiots

I’m going to punch you in the face one of these days, you realize that right?” Harry chuckled

True gamers never die, they just respawn elsewhere." ~~ Tito

Patient Guy: "I'd die for her."
House: "Dude, she's in a coma! Who are you trying to impress?!"

I do not fear computers; I fear the lack of them.

My sister, the axe murderer. All those poor axes, cut down in the prime of their lives...

You know those epic stories you always read?
About how good triumphs over evil,
and that love is the ultimate power?
Two words – Bull Shit.

And yes I'll go out with you," Luna continued.
"Crawling through my window naked and saying that
I've got a nice pair is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."

Their village must have been crupted by DDR." -Jac person, playing as Sakura
"And you came to this conclusion... how?" -Jac person, playing as Riku.
"Just look at all that flashy clothing! And the hair! And the shoes!
And the flashy clothing! See? the flashy clothing..."- Jac person playing as Sakura

"Stress: The confusion created when ones mind overrides the body's basic desire
to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it"-
Some paper my dad has hanging in his office.

"I've got a pretty handsome smile that I do.
And what do you got? You've got EYEBROWS?" -Dubbed video (Neji says this to Lee.)

YEEAAA!... We're doomed!"-Gir (Invaider Zim)

Well, we're going to hell."- Kelsey

"Insert spastic laughter here"- Me

"Curse you interweb!"-Grant

"WORLD DOMINATION!!" -The cockroaches on Fairly Odd parents

"Wow, It's like boobs are hallpasses!!" -Kelsey after the girls got out of the classroom
when the teachers said the boys couldn't

"Sit down, you rapist!"-Kelsey (...wtf?)

I fold.”
“Oh, c’mon! I had a really great hand!” Ganondorf threw down his cards.
“You need to work on your poker face.” Zelda shuffled the cards.
“What’s wrong with my face? It’s my normal, everyday face.”
“That’s the problem.” She dealt out another hand.
Ganondorf scrutinized his cards. Suddenly he stood, raising them high in the air.
“Behold! With this immensely superior hand, I shall reign supreme over-“
“I fold.”
“What?!”
“See, that’s what I mean about your poker face…”

And that was the first day he knew he loved her.Well, as more then the girl who he loved to have beat the crap out of him.

Little did they know, that they were being watched, by missing-nin and closet pervert Uchiha Itachi.
With his sharingon activated, he had a very good view of what was going on. And he was coping Naruto’s sexual techniques,
after all, if the boy is good, and Itachi copies, then maybe he can get laid more. With them moving towards Konoha,
Itachi left, promising to return

The Hokage was battling his enemy, paperwork

“SPARTANS! THIS IS WHERE WE HOLD THEM! THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT! THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE! GIVE THEM NOTHING, TAKE FROM THEM, EVERYTHING

I know for a fact Kisame is obsessed with his teeth, so free dental will get him to join

Holy Shit!! Damian, did you know these fuckers would come crawling out of Hell’s ass?!” Link asked

Hehehe, you like her, huh?” Link asked snickering.
“Of course I do, otherwise she would be dead.” Damian deadpanned

No, Link. This is not hell.” Damian said with a trace of anger in his voice.
“This is just a fucking cave in a fucking volcano filled with fucking monsters
that want to spill our fucking guts out and eat our fucking corpses, comprende

This is the part of the story where something bad happens. Just when everything is going great, reality slaps you in the face

Behind them, a suit of armor slowly raised its guantlet... and flipped Kakashi off

Are they any good in a fight?"
"Ah... that depends. But have you ever been slapped with a large fish? It hurts.
Some of them keep heavy butcher knives in their pouches too, and..."
"Okay, I get it. Sorry I asked

Yo. My stove broke, so I had to go out to eat... and then the restaraunt stand fell over on me and I had to dig my way out."
"LI..." Sakura began, only to pause as she noted that Kakashi was covered in tiny scratches,
and sawdust and splinters had caught in the folds of his clothes and his hair. "Oh..."
That left them wondering... how many of Kakashi's excuses had been utter bullshit, and how many of them were real?

“Would somebody tell me what is going on and why is there a dead man in our dining room?”

WHAT KIND OF SENSEI IS HE IF HE FORGETS ABOUT HIS OWN TEAM?” Naruto exploded

The time of the gods is coming to an end and when that happens, everything will change

Yeah for a second there I kinda did." I replied with a shrug

A wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from others mistakes."

It takes courage to stand up to your enemies, but it takes a great deal more, to stand up to your friends."

Fear can keep people from making the biggest mistake of their lives, but it also can prevent them from making the best choice."

Don't let anyone think they are better than you. God made everyone to be like each other."

It helps me when somebody dies. Think about this. We come into this life so easily-from somewhere, from the universe, from God. Why should it be any harder to leave?"

If the bait is obvious, don't take it."

It doesn't matter how big the present is. It matters how big the heart was when you gave it."

You may look at me and say I have nothing, but when I look at it...I have everything."

I've been a shamless fake my whole life, but they believe me, they love me. So, if I turn my back on them now, what would that make me?"

It's quality, not quanity that makes up who you are."

Life is good, but living in fear is not my idea of living."

I would never kill anyone unless I thought they were a pest...oh...there goes the whole world." (sorry, that had to go on here too!)

Feel the pain...of those inferior beings...as you burn in Hell!" (haha...guess why)

he might not understand much about politics, but he knew the importance of appearances.
When possible enemies viewed you as stronger than them,
they would think twice before attacking.
When they feared you,
you had already won half the battle.

Besides, who are we to judge them?”
“Who are we indeed.”

If you cannot trust your own teammates who can you trust?

What's a 'Pokegirl'? What's a 'Tamer'? Who's resposible for scaring everyone off of that old abandoned airfield?

Why are all those girls walking around naked?” This world is ruled by teenagers

Riiiight. Somehow, I'm alive, so either the experiment was an overwhelming success,
albeit in a manner far different from what I'd expected,
or I screwed up, released a cthuloid monstrosity on the world and am currently being punished by god."
A flash of lightning behind him later revealed "The second one." carved into a rock. He didn't turn around

Pleaze... call me Hojo. Ze vord 'Dok'... It makes me vish to poison your food and perform a sex-change operation upon you in your sleep

Naruto was still jumping for joy like a true idiot,
while Iruka an Mizuki were quickly forming sweatdrops.
Then without warning another level of insanity was added by
Naruto hugging the traitor and swinging him around with the ease of a little plastic flag.
All the while still cheering like a loon
Suddenly, while still swinging Mizuki,
an incredible annoying buzz began at the back of his head and his laughter
suddenly becomes much more maniacal.
Which causes Iruka to bow his head in shame at the thought of his
student losing the last of his sanity.
Mizuki however finally loses his dinner and hurls all over the poor academy teacher

In a world where a narrator rules,
Ino hits people with cactuses,
Sasuke spontaneously combusts, Sakura is trampled by water buffalo,
Kiba eats worms, Hinata is courageous, and Naruto is a moron.
What could go wrong?

So, now we know why I’m the high ranking demon and
you’re the lowly twelve year old human child. Any other questions?”

If ten times the enemy's strength, surround them;
if five times, attack them;
if double, divide them;
if equal, be able to fight them;
if fewer, be able to evade them;
if weaker, be able to avoid them." - Sun Tzu

Of course I care, if you die I die, it’s that simple

Tobi, while you can be cool at times, I'm starting to wonder why the hell you're with us..."

Girls...No...Women are just like ramen. There are a lot of flavors and I love all of them."

My occupation is, um... that would be murderer, sir

Is it true that there is a spot on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?"

You're the one that was spying? I, Wilson, will beat you up

Remember that to Suffer is to Live, to Live is to Suffer; but in the end, it all becomes Pleasure

I don wanna touch dead people…”
Not now you don’t, and that isn’t much of a bad thing.”
He chuckled. “If you did enjoy touching dead people,
I would be both surprised and shocked. But it doesn’t matter

Impressive. It took you five hours to snap. I did it in three

Now, usually when a liquid was black and the label said it was dangerous,
you would run. So Naruto did the only thing that was sensible.
He bent down and poked the liquid

Haremu no Jutsu! It was the scourge of all perverts.
He also loved having a shadow clone use it so he could stare at himself.
He knew it was wrong...but he didn’t care

Madame Foster: We’re disengaged going for minimum safe distance.
Jack Spicer: Hey how long have you been flying?
Madame Foster: I just got my license this morning!
Everyone gulps.
Shaggy: We’re screwed aren’t we?
Homer: Yep.
Shaggy: Why did I join the marines?

Dude, don’t dis the trench coats

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity

Dumbledore: Fool of a Ninja! Throw your self in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
Church: Yeah and take Caboose with you.
Caboose: Am I going somewhere?

Fear no that which can be seen...Fear that which cannot

I got kicked out of Barnes & Nobels for moving the religious books into the fiction section

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.
‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country

DISNEY SUCKS!! Shonen Jump RULES!!", the sleeping form of Naruto

I AM THOR; GOD OF THUNDER!", he bellowed has he rested his humongous warhammer upon his shoulder,
"I AM HERE... FOR THE POKER TOURNEMENT!!"
"Yes yes, I now who you are, Thor. The others are in the temple..."

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

Death is a way of God telling you not to be a wise guy.

Tsk Tsk never bring a knife to a gun fight” said the Priest pulling out a shot gun

If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Mary Bly

Lets go to Sea no Kuni.”
“I thought you hated that place. Kisame?”
“I need some stress relievers. Besides those stupid ignorant fisherman had it coming

That way quick, but weird. Yup definitely weird

He doesn’t make mistakes. After all he’s the ‘Leader.’

Yes indeed it was such a shame. I really…liked…him.”
Kabuto unconsciously shook his head. Why was his superior so gay

Kyuubi is punishing REX with a nightstick, rope and a puppy.
Want me to go any further?”

Good or Evil...I don't see that. I only see power.
Afterall, the ends justify the means

The truly fearful thing about madness is that nobody is immune. Nobody.

Ultimate Fail, is but a thing of the past for your level of fail, for you have failed so hard,
the meaning of the word fail,
does not fail enough to describe your fail."

Alright men…we are on a mission to get coffee and doughnuts.
The problem is…the Germens drank all the coffee and ate all the doughnuts. So now…we got to go kick their asses!"

Alright zombies go kick their asses.” Naruto yelled to his small army of summoned zombies.
A grand total of eight zombies stood in front of another army of three zombies, two faeries and one lone archer.
It would be a slaughter.
“Well?!” Naruto yelled getting impatient “What are you waiting for?”
His zombies just blinked stupidly, those that had eyelids at least.
He sighed “Fine! I’ll put it in words you idiots will understand!” he pointed towards the opposite army “Brains, go fetch!”
The eight zombies seemed to perk up and they charged, moaning as one “BRRRAAAIIIINNNSSS!”

Naruto: "Wait just a second! He's YOUR brother!"
Itachi: "I have a date."
Naruto: "Bros before hoes!"
Itachi: "Bah..."

Kakashi: "Hey! If loving pancakes makes me drunk, then I don't wanna be sober!

Naruto: "R. KELLY DON'T PEE ON ME!!"

so being proficient in many arts, it is a master of none

Is that all you eat?! Ramen?! You need to be more fit and strong.
Not die of heart failure and obesity!” lectured Furious Ming

Now, Enjoy the story... or die

Sora, walking away.” I told her No. she wanted me back and I said no.”
Leon smirks.” I shall call you,”mini me.
Roxas, walking past Leon.”Oh dear God”

Inuyasha "Miroku I don't want or need your pity"
"I was not going to pity you I was just going to
tell you that there is more women you can love" Miroku said calmly

Sasuke: Jounin... plus Eraser... plus falling through the floor and then... IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP!!

I'm just a regular guy with a chaotic dream." I said

“Justified? Do you think anything is justified? Nothing is justifiable

“Enjoy your meal, we hope it will be your last.”

a white powder that we assume was poison due to the effects it has had on the minions who burned it.” said Gnar
How are they acting?” asked Naruto
They are very easily amused and tend to see things.” said Gnarl
That sounds like drugs to me.” howled Zabuza

Talking to you is pointless.” sighed Toyoe. “You’re to blinded by your views of black and white to see grey

"An optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true" -James Cabell

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." -Bill Lyon

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." -Lynda Barry

"Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there." -Scott Adams

It's boring sitting back and watching the world get saved over and over again.
Watching people suffer is so much more fun...don't you agree?"
"I agree...but watching them suffer at your hands isn't exactly my idea of fun."

Anubus huffed, "For the love of Jesus-"
Jesus: What?
"DON'T START THAT AGAIN!!

Ask NOT for whom the bell tolls! For it TOLLS... in the NAME of CHAOS!!

am training you, not torturing you. Not much difference between the two though hehe.” Naruto

Never underestimate the dark forces.” Ken said sounding all low and in despair.
“They work in mysterious ways we can’t hope to understand. Believe me, I know this all too well.”

Kiba's mom...I think not. How would you feel if you your new stepfather was only a couple months older than you?

Sweet Dreams, and Pleasant Nightmares!

Where the hell did that come from? Must be all this tea that I’m drinking. I’m going back to Coke.

This is From: keinve and sein
if 95 cats, 175 dogs, 3 penguins, and 69 mice got on at bus stop A, how many
tails does the bus driver have?
Tobi: Tobi’s not good at math.
Cookie-Chan: Why are you asking him math questions? Dummy!
Tobi: Don’t be mean! What if they need help with their homework?
Cookie-Chan: Why would they ask you? Heck, why would they be asking on FANFICTION!
Tobi:…THE BUS DRIVER HAS NO TAILS! IT”S A TRICK QUESTION!
Cookie-Chan: ugh.

Shit...I mean come the fuck on it's already bad I'm dying why the hell did I die in the game
I thought I pressed pause geezus fucking christ now I'm gonna have to level up again...wait..no
I can't. A bright white light came over my eyes as my body felt limp...noway!

Hmmm what is the matter with you? I told you that this could be a possible life and death situation...your
in the middle of a war between super natural creatures and other deadly humes. How can you not focus?" Belias asked.

Nightmare landed expertly and by expertly I mean landing flat on his face.

“I shall start the clan over,” Itachi continued, “They will no longer be called the Uchiha. I shall call them the Itachi clan.”
“…” Kisame blinked, “So does that mean I should call you Itachi Itachi, now?”
Itachi stared at his Akatsuki partner.
“No, Kisame. That would be silly.”

The nobodies were using slave labor and Sora was a Kingdom Hearts version of Adolf Hitler. But, how could it be stopped?

It's not my fault. It's all a dark conspiracy!

when in doubt, a machine gun comes in handy

if at first you don't succeed, hire professionals to guide you to success

never question your intelligence, there are more than enough people already doing it

If I owned Naruto, the Kyuubi would be a hot chick, Naruto wouldn’t be an idiot, and Sasuke wouldn’t be so gay.

“Is it me or is the paperwork breeding like rabbits?”

"The individual activity of one man with backbone will do more than a thousand men with a mere wishbone.” William J.H. Boetucker

"A dead man is still a dead man no matter how you look at it."

“Miroku stop it!” She told him as she tried to pull him away.”Umm...Please excuse him. He ate something bad.”
“His manners maybe?” The staff member suggested.

“Naruto, how are you? I haven’t seen you all week. And no prank? The entire village is on edges.” The blond child chuckled.

‘Gathering information without giving any.’ It’s one of the first lessons ninja in ANBU learn.”

"If you love someone let them go. If they come back it's true love, if they don't hunt them down and destroy everything they love" ~back of sugar-high-pixe's notebook

"Go be Emo in a corner" ~my friend Tree

"When life gives you lemons, remember what your parents said: 'don't ever accept food from strangers'."

"Of course I'm out of my mind. It's scary in there." ~Me

"I am who I think I am, and nothing more" ~my\

Note to self: Pat yourself on the back for that great idea. Note Received. Forwarding to SPAM folder

WHY WON’T THEY ANSWER ME? I don’t know, maybe I should ask them

All toads are good for is over a fire.

There’s an idea brat. Maybe you aren’t as stupid as I thought you were.
No wait you are, but even retards think of something good every now and then.

“YOU’RE LATE!” yelled Naruto and Sakura simultaneously.
“Well I was going to be on time, but my favorite book got turned into a movie
so I had to watch it.”
“LIAR!” yelled Naruto and Sakura yelled.
That’s probably true, Sasuke thought

You know, you could help us look for you!

"We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way." - George S. Patton

"Guess again, freakshow. Duke's coming back to town, and the last thing that's gonna go
through your mind before you die... is my size 13 boot!" - Duke Nukem

You were right. Crush the size of Texas there.”

"Everyone...We're heading home. And then we'll do what we do every night..."
"Play a game of go fish?" Kisame asked as they started to walk away.
"No..." The Akatsuki leader replied.
"Download a bunch of licensed anime and sell them on eBay for money?" Itachi asked.
"...No, not that either."
"Count our money down to the very last penny?" Kakuzu asked.
"There's no need for that..."
"Stab ourselves and enjoy the pain?" Hidan asked and grinned widely.
"Go away, Hidan."
"Create exploding sculptures to make our secret base look more artistic and explosive at the same time, hn?" Deidara wondered out loud.
"You're on your own with that one, Deidara..." The Akatsuki leader replied.
"How about we all smoke some and just enjoy ourselves?" Zetsu rubbed his chin in thought
as the two huge leaves around his head began to regrow themselves.
"We're going to send you back to the rehab clinic if you keep on trying to make us smoke that stuff..."
"We'll be good boys, right? Right?" Tobi asked and looked with anticipation at the other Akatsuki members.
"Tobi, while you can be cool at times, I'm starting to wonder why the hell you're with us..."
"Oh! Oh! I know! How about this..." A blue haired woman with a white flower
in her hair said, "You guys don't do anything at all,
give me a lot of screentime and let me in on the action for once."
"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"...It must be true what they say...In order to be evil, you really have to be one twisted..."

“Me, make someone crazy, I would never”

He weighed the situation carefully. On the one hand, he couldn't
possibly turn down an offer of free food. On the other hand, his cynical side was
pointing out that this was obviously a trap and that he'd have to kill a
whole lot of people to get out of it if he went.
So, pretty much a win-win situation. Either way, he won.

Now, go knock them dead kit.'
'Not literally of course.'
'Hey, if you off a few emos, then whom am I to complain.'

Explaining sex to a man who barely knew how to count to 10 would be more than difficult?

Unfortunately, he was no longer in control The jumpsuit was

“She is actually pretty cute when she isn't shooting me...”

P.S. I don’t think it’s possible for a girl to rape a guy after all… guys ALWAYS want it.

"Wanna have sex?",
"Now do you want to have sex?",
"Why did you kick me in the nuts?
"Does that mean you want to have sex?",
"OWW! My nuts! How about now?"
"Don't call me a rapist!
I just want to have sex with you!...uh...hello officer!"

Hey, are you from heaven? Because I have an erection!

Monkeys are awesome, I am awesome, I am monkeys! (...wait, that's not right)

Sweden Take a side already! Neutral Bastards!

I try to figure out what’s happening, and especially why it’s happening.
I am alone. My dress is full of dirt. I am afraid.

Flonne sort of grew on you, much like all flesh-eating virus or a horribly infectious pop song

Saying its kind of expensive is like saying Gamabunta is kind of big

There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.
Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. -Logan Pearsall Smith

either the Kyuubi broke out or
Naruto had a dream that the ramen stand went out of business. Either way, it’s bad

Leadership isn't about firing bullets and stabbing people, Church.
It's about getting others to fire bullets and stab people." - Doc

Whoa, those guys are sure on the wrong side of the evolution curve

A Nazi shirt... hmmm, well I think those went out of fashion in 1945...

Now Kyuubi, Kami loves all his children, he just enjoys torturing us in the worst ways possible. Like this for example
Oh, so then explain Orochimaru.
I have nothing for that

One should always play fairly, except for when one has the winning cards. Then he should take over the world

All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself
to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach

He is a cruel and terrible facist, but he sure is cute

Church I think the door is broken. Or stupid.
Caboose...shut up

you may win all the battles...but your still going to hell

Sai: Why do you want to save Sasuke so badly?
Naruto: Because he's my friend! (Insert dramatic music here.)
I'm sorry Naruto, but Sasuke has moved out of state, changed his name,
delisted his address and phone number, and filed a restraining order against
you--you went from "friend" to "deranged stalker" a long time ago!

We wanted to leave, and the heartless freed us, but once we were free,
we all tried to get back. Now we’re back, and we want to leave again

Everyone alive is insane, most just aren't aware of it

excuse me while i go kill a figment of my imagination.

Did Sasuke really have to deal with all these crazy girls when he was alive?
No wonder he was always angry, I only had to deal with this for a few hours and already I am going crazy.

Okay, now I'm going to crawl into a corner in fetal position and be emotionally scarred for the rest of my life...

Saints, can sometimes be the worst sinners

The chicken is on friggin’ steroids

Kakashi: Tell me where the bomb is!
Asuma: We don't have 24 hours.
The thing from 24 comes up reading 20:03:36 with Kakashi, Asuma, Orochimaru, & Naruto.
Naruto: He told me enough, he told me you killed him!
Kyuubi: No Naruto... I am your Father!
Naruto: No Thats Inpossible!
Orochimaru: My Precious
Kabuto: Give me the ring!
Ino: What will I do? Where eill I go?
Sasuke: Frankly my dear I dong gi... WAIT A MINUTE Wrong series!

He's the nicest evil overlord I've ever heard of

FUN FACT: If you stick your finger in a man's ass he screams. (I'm not lying)

“Would Naruto even know what a Harem IS?” Asuma asked no one in particular.
“Do Pirates and Ninja get along?” Kakashi replied.

Madness? THIS IS FANFICTION!!

Thirty white horses, on a red hill. Fifteen up. Fifteen below.
Just chewing and chewing, but never eating. And then they all die with their master

C'mon, don't just... Ninja kick the damn rabbit! Do something!

Forgiveness, he asks forgiveness, how stupid can a person be?

The naïve old man thinks that he can hide the sun with his hands?

it seemed strange to have sex on your brother's funeral day.

The universe is a cruel joke, and I stopped laughing a long time ago

"I'M SUUUUUPER DOOOOOD!"
"(sings own theme song)"
"YOU'LL DIE A VIRGIN!"

You never really hear about pedophiles over 47, And priests don’t count.
Don’t get me start on them…

Our Overlord's an Angel?!
What's this Netherworld coming to?

If the good die young...I will live FOREVER!

Yaaaaaaa!! Why are they pointing such big swords at me...are they rapists?!

It's a pleasure to meet you ladies...do you mind showing me your panties?

Yeah... He's all the parts that don't care if we get beat up...

A begging that leads to salvation? Or damnation?

there will be no warning, only death...

Not Every Fairy Tale has a happy ending...

never to young to die, never to young to kill

Everything about this article is evil, the author is evil,
the computer used is evil, and now you are evil.
Go get a frickin shark and put a frickin lazer beam on its frickin head!

Cream the Rabbit? Is that an order or a request?

Good and Evil are merely perspective, but darkness is friend to neither- Ganondorf Dragmire

Its arrogant to compare yourself to a god

Love is our greatest strength and our ultimate downfall

This kid is going to give me a heart attack one day and i haven't even finished the first Come Come Paradise book set yet