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Joined 09-05-08, id: 629755, Profile Updated: 10-09-09
Author has written 1 story for Humor.

Hi. Um... I'm PrincessRory (duh). I usually write on but I'm trying this out.

My fanfiction account:

Here is the funny stuff that is a really long list!

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" or "Dang, we screwed up."
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Boys are like trees-- they take fifty years to grow up.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Your mom looks like VOLDEMORT!! (oh burn)

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, now that's weird.

If you're nice, u can call me honey. If you're sweet, you can call me sweety. If ur hot, u can call me tonight!

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

You said you couldn't stand to see my heart break. . . so when you broke it, did you close your eyes?

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

When life gives you lemons go out & buy vodka.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My mind works like flash and then it's gone.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

efore you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry Barbie, you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Chris. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Chris.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

The world is cruel... get used to it!

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

I’m the kind of person who walks into a door and apologizes.

Don’t follow in my footsteps; I walk into walls.


I hear voices and they don’t like you!

When all else fails, blow stuff up.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Whoever said nothing was impossible didn't try slamming a revolving door.

Something Happened reviews
This story is so cool, it doesn't even need a plot.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Complete