u.no.u.need.the.goth.girl
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Joined 11-09-08, id: 638470, Profile Updated: 12-12-08

...um...rawr...

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.
If you throw a fit when someone says the Twilight characters aren't real, copy this into your profile. If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

"SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them after one of the Cullens, copy this into your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!)
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.

If you have a friend that scares you when they have sugar, do not copy this into your profile

If you have ever said ‘cross over to the dark side. We have cookies!’ to someone you know, copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series), mmdarlin118/mmetoffee (Emmett Cullen, Jasper Cullen, Harry Potter, and SO MANY OTHERS) u.no.u.need.the.goth.girl (Jacob Black, Embry Call, Edward Cullen (FROM THE BOOK!!), Emmett (in the movie)...I think that's it...)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, SOPROL, sesshomarukoishii, phantompha0, mmetoffee, u.no.u.need.the.goth.girl

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast
Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me you love me, i'll slow down
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.
Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)
Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i will slow down.
Girl: (puts helmet on her head)
Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a helmet.
In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he gave her his helmet so she could live.

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

"Never hire a colorblind electrician."

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Woman: But would you stay there??
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head
Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
"A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series)
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Emo kids have cool hair
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."
"They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?"
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.
Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?

Random Randomness

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
How can I think outside of the box, if they won't let me out of it?
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.
Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
The petty thieves shall be hanged; the great ones elected to public office.
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."

Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
AV is Addicted to Vampires
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
"When all else fails blow shit up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
"You say tomato...I say fuck you."
"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it
real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!
For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! :D)
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.
yo-yos were invented as a weapon
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;)
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

READ TIS!!

You know when you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or Myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends...

9.) ...and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

funnies!!

"your mum is so fat that when God said 'let there be light' she had to move"

"One day, little Johny was out with his mum when he asked 'mum, is God male or female?' she replied, 'I suppose God's both dear.' a bit later he asked 'mum, is got black or white?' again she replied 'God's both dear.' Johny was now confused but he came back a bit later and asked 'mum, is God gay or straight?' his mum was now the one to be confused before answering 'well... I suppose God's both dear.' Little Johny's face lights up before he asks 'Mum, is God Michael Jackson?"

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

re-post tis if u think child abuse is wrong!!

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

(Y)
(o.o)
o(")(")o

Copy the bunny to your presentation to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side. (We have Cookies)

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

Pyromanic? Put this in your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mam saying you can still keep it.

Your mom looks like voldemort (oh burn)

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires who could care less about a pathetic human, or fictional characters in books/movies.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

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Those Who Walk in Moonlight by Juniper Nights reviews
My life changed when I woke up beside a gorgeous guy that I've never seen before. At first I thought he had tricked me into bed, but then he started accusing me of drugging HIM. Pftt, he could only be so lucky.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,159 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 359 - Updated: 12/14/2013 - Published: 10/16/2005
Good Dogs Don't Bite by Friglit reviews
For her 18th birthday, Adrian buys his sarcastic little sister Marah a pet werewolf. But Raze is proving to be every bit as stubborn and independent as she is. Can a resentful pet and his reluctant mistress ever learn to get along? *ON HIATUS*
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 65,406 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 395 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 6/5/2008
Rocked Like Me by Enigmatic Night reviews
I may be somewhat strange, but he's got arrogance down to an artform. I may have thrown a rock at his car, but it's no excuse to concoct a plan to kill me. Honestly, who does he think he is? The nerve of some people. Course language, you've been warned.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 166,623 - Reviews: 1172 - Favs: 1,450 - Follows: 518 - Updated: 12/6/2008 - Published: 3/25/2007 - Complete
CanisLupus by canislupus7 reviews
Werewolves are hostile, aggressive, and all together control freaks. I am seen as a child in their eyes, even though I'm almost an adult in the pack laws. They want to protect me when I can take care of myself. Will I show them or prove them right?
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 137,104 - Reviews: 414 - Favs: 547 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Complete
Celestial of the Night by infisnt reviews
They had been searching for her mother who was banished twenty years ago. Instead they get her, the only girl to ever be born from one of them. Soon, Celeste is thrust into a vampire war where everyone's fighting..over her.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 61,373 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 11/10/2008 - Published: 4/19/2008
I Dare You by CarelessLove reviews
Just a short story that I was working on about two new Lykae mates. Has sexual content and some adult language. Do not read if it is unaceptable to you. Not a one shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,651 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 6/28/2008 - Published: 2/13/2008
The Dark Woods and the Moon by Juniper Nights reviews
Every year my pack celebrates the beginning of life and the bonding of mates with the Spring Festival. I had little interest in it until the silver alpha challenged me to the mating run and changed my life forever.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,046 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 46 - Published: 12/18/2006 - Complete
The Pack by Aemilia reviews
Werewolves and stuff. Don't tell me you have something better to do than read this story. I know better. Complete.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 69,919 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/27/2005 - Published: 8/18/2004 - Complete
Malaika by blackflame28 reviews
Imagine being a human girl growing up with vampires. This is the story of a girl who did. finished
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 29,434 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/30/2003 - Published: 7/8/2003 - Complete