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Joined 12-05-08, id: 642372, Profile Updated: 02-28-09
Author has written 1 story for Romance.

My name is Amanda and I am a 16 year old junior in high school.


I figured I would start like this. My family life is like a soap opera. I think it would take up too much space to describe every messed up aspect of my family, so I will stick to my household. I live with my grandparents, people who I love and cherish more than they will ever really know. I have lived with them now for about 11 years and consider them to be my parents. So I might slip into calling them Mom and Dad so please forgive me.

My grandma is handicapped and has been this way since I was 7, all at the mistake of some med/nurse type of person who decided to take over a procedure of drawing fluid out of her back. My grandma, who used to play volleyball and softball, even at 50, now has a morphine pump in her stomach, reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD), arthritis, has problems with her knees, her ankles, she can't walk without a walker or a wheelchair, and she has to spend the rest of her life this way or worse all because of that one person's mistake. My grandma is trapped forever in our little one story house, in a bedroom all day while my grandpa works for both her and me. All because of a stupid person's mistake. And since my grandma was sick with bronchitis and whatnot during the time of the procedure, that one person got away without any punishment. The hospital hid the information away from my grandma, and since she had only started to date my grandpa at that time, she never got compensation for that life changing time. And even though they attempted to sue, it was too late. But hey, she ended up with my grandpa and me so she's got something to live for.

My grandpa is awesome. He spoils me rotten and gave me my wicked sense of sarcasm and humor and he is the sweetest most awesomest person you would ever hope to meet. He goes out of his way to make my grandma's life bearable and loves her and me and works sooo hard. He's 69 and looks 20 years younger. He laughs and jokes and makes fun of me and my friends love him since he buys tons of snacks for me to give away. The thing is he is my dad. He and I don't care about blood, he is my daddy. And what makes him so good and special is the fact that he technically is my step-grandpa. He and I have no blood connection and he has no obligation to stay with my grandma and me and work until he's 90. But he does anyway and makes life sweet and funny all because of love. And he is why I know love can exist because I see it every day when he jokes with me or talks with my grandma because he is my daddy regardless of laws or blood. And we can both laugh when people remark on how alike we look when we say that we are father and daughter.

If anyone actually read all of that rambling, that is only two of my family members. There is so much drama in my family that I honestly think that someone could follow any one member of my family and make an incredible soap opera.


Now the hard part. The part where I try in vain to describe myself to any number of people online. Strangers who might look at this stupid rambling homepage and make judgments and assumptions about who I am or what I am trying to do by spilling my guts into a homepage that doesn't even matter. I mean, how can I expect anyone to read this and not make assumptions or judgments? I can't, I just hope that people are kind in what they think.

My name, as I said before, is Amanda. I was born on June 6, and I believe my lucky number is 6. I am in marching band as a mellophone player and I play French horn in the type of band where no marching is involved. I like playing sports like basketball and softball, but I hate competition. That is why I normally play in rec leagues where my dad is coach since I can make new friends on opposing teams and not worry about competition. I used to play soccer as well, as a goalie, however I gave it up for marching band season. I get really good grades in school, mostly A's and scattered B's, without actually trying. I think that could be because I enjoy getting praise from my parents so I listen well in class. Or it could be luck. I have never been attracted to someone else so I have never been in a relationship before. I don't know if I like girls or guys since I haven't felt anything one way or another. I guess I am open to the possibilities and don't judge anyone else’s choices regarding the subject of love. As long as it is between two consenting parties.

I am extremely hypocritical as well. I second-guess all of my actions and wonder about my own actions. I easily change my mind and am content to follow other's examples if they sound more logical than my own. I constantly overanalyze my own and other's actions. I don't relate well with others my own age, but somehow adults and kids love me. I think it's because I am polite and can be outgoing depending on how comfortable I am. I feel less judged with children, so I act in a different way than when I am with people my own age. I hate being singled out and become shy and make mistakes that I normally wouldn't make. At times I feel as if no one sees who I am or cares, but at the same time I don't even know who I am or care to let others see that I feel that way.

I enjoy reading and writing and love videogames. I like RPG’s and the Sims and I like making friends. I basically hibernate in my room during the summer and I have no idea how to actually work a computer and websites, I just pick this crap up as I go. I go rving with my grandparents whenever we can and I like cats more than dogs. I can't actually have a cat because of my grandma's allergies, but I still love cats more. My room is filled with manga and books and (if you can keep this a secret) romance novels. I am a geek and a hermit and I like being alone most days. This is another of my hypocrisies (The plural of hypocrisy) since I like being alone yet want someone to want to be with me. I probably had one good hair day, but most days my hair is brown and frizzy and curly. I lost all of my cuteness as I got older and I never wear makeup or straighten my hair. My best friend is a scrunchie and the best invention was the art of the ponytail.

On that note, I enjoy listening to others talk about their lives. I like feeling as if I can help, and I like to hear of how other people act. If anyone actually read all of my rambling, please read any of my stories once I can post them and review them if you want to. If anyone actually wants to talk to me, you know become friends? Then feel free to email me or something if you figure out how. I rarely ever go online, but since I just got a laptop recently, I plan to change that. I will work on fixing my rambling problem and will hopefully have some stories soon.

Newsflash 2/28

Hey all. So, I haven't really started my next chapter of What I Want... yet. Sorry to anyone who is waiting for it. Hopefully inspiration will strike soon. On another note, I just finished an anatomy movements project that my friend and I made. It is a video project and we are the actors. It features me hitting of my friend Mahmoud and I act like a completely different person. If anyone sees this profile page, look for the video on Just search How to tell if a girl likes you. It will have mandapanda in the summary and should be called the third version. You'll either laugh so hard you cry, or be totally disgusted with our acting skills. Either way, have fun watching my anatomy project online while I try to be inspired to write.

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Singer by Tah the Trickster reviews
She was a dyke, a headbanger, a pariah. I was perfectly straight, in the chorus, part of the 'in crowd.' We did NOT speak to one another. Ever. ...Stupid science fair. Femslash, yuri, F/F. Finished as of 12/17/09. Book and eBook versions now available!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 159,459 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Complete
She Says by SilverScreen Crush reviews
I'll have to take life one day at a time. Or just fuck it all. I wish I knew what my future has in store for me. f/f just so y'all know
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,057 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/26/2011 - Published: 5/18/2008
Think Happy Thoughts by Die Katze reviews
Erin and Amy would have normally never talked to each other but after bumping into each other in the hallway they find that if they are within 4 feet of each other, they can hear the others thoughts. Though some weren't meant to be heard. Femslash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,356 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 1/1/2009
This is My Tale by vanilla.barcode reviews
She’s best friends with the one girl I absolutely hate. She’s popular and I’m average, she likes boys and I like girls. How the hell did we end up together? FF slash/ Lesbian relationships. Completed!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 84,609 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Complete
Krisalyn by TABOOty reviews
What better way to continue the lesbian rebellion phase of a teenage girl than to go after the heart of her father's boss' daughter? Femslash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,219 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/17/2009
What I Want reviews
This story is based loosely on my own life, featuring my friends as characters and my own family. That is the only truth, the rest of the story is purely fictional. It features lesbianism/femslash, humor, friendships, and family. Rated M only to be safe.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,006 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 12/7/2008