Jumping Jack Flash
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Joined 12-13-08, id: 643549, Profile Updated: 01-22-11
Author has written 27 stories for Fantasy, Supernatural, Western, Horror, Fable, Sci-Fi, Romance, Essay, General, and Humor.

The Copyright Tango: All these stories are copyright Jesse Hajicek. You cannot pretend they are copyright you. I will kick your ass with lawyers. BUT. I hereby, officially, with trumpet-blowing and banners, authorize and allow the use of my characters and settings for fanfic/fanart/mockery/general goofing, IF the derivative work is labeled as such, and credits me for the original. Fire at will!

About me:

I'm a grownup.

I'm a guy.

I'm not a big fat flaming faggot; I'm THE big fat flaming faggot.

I'm not a gumball machine. You don't put a 'squee' in the slot and get a chapter out. I write when I feel like it. Fortunately, I feel like it a lot.

I love constructive criticism. My ego is not fragile. I won't burst into tears if you point out an opportunity for improvement.

I smoke, drink, and scratch myself in public.

I'm the goddamn Batman.

CURRENT STATUS: My mailer died, and I have no way to import old messages into the new mailer. If you sent me a PM that wants a reply, you'll have to resend it, I'm afraid. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hey Jude by Potatoe1988 reviews
Jude's world hasn't made sense since Mikey, a boy with a skewed sense of reality, showed up two years ago. When a runaway named Zion comes into their lives, things are about to get a lot weirder. Slash, m/m. Rewriting
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 55,090 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 4/3 - Published: 10/31/2008
Tenebrism by Alyn Drasil reviews
Light and Shadow Book I. A couple of jerkoff friends daring him to kiss a statue in a graveyard are the least of Alan's problems. Because now the statue is alive. And now there are two of them. And that's only the beginning. slash.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 114,182 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 500 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 3/30 - Published: 11/1/2008
The Raw and the Cooked by plumblossom reviews
Jackson's civilized. He dreads the wilderness in Marek. Marek's a lot more domesticated than Jackson thinks he is -- he's a sophisticated chef -- and would like nothing more than to be tamed by Jackson. Slash, if you care.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,333 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Complete
Penny Candy by Jaydee Faire reviews
In a down and dirty city where a good time is just a few dollars away, a dancer who's looking for life and a whore who's already given it up come to an arrangement with only one rule: No Love Allowed. Rated M for homosexual intercourse, graphic scenes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 49 - Words: 124,156 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 437 - Updated: 5/9/2013 - Published: 11/15/2007
Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3030 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
The Sound of Snowfall by IceraMyst reviews
An errant courtesan finds himself snowed into very foreign territory. Slash.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 68,437 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 10/31/2010 - Published: 5/3/2010 - Complete
Mise en Place by Zebbie reviews
In practice, that’s restaurant speak for a selection of things you'll need, laid out before you need them. Handy concept, if only someone could ‘mise’ island boy Alf the life he wants! When boyfriends fall short, a summer job is all he has left. BritSlash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 51,560 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 9/24/2007
Lifelike by Zebbie reviews
Ewan, my dead sister's son, took under a week to wrench my life apart. Some advice - never sign contracts hungover. He stole my bedroom; that was the beginning. Lord help me, it took an 11 year old to make me grow up. Slow slash, no incest or kid fiddling
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 65,863 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 343 - Updated: 6/7/2010 - Published: 7/26/2008
Nerves by frenchmartini reviews
Meet me - David – a jittery student nurse who thought entering a roommate carer scheme was a brilliant idea. Meet Ryan – skate-punk extraordinaire with a penchant for chucking himself off vert ramps. In his wheelchair. Oh Lordy, that's got to hurt. Slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 95,664 - Reviews: 942 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 9/12/2008
A Muse Bouche Or How Marshall Got his Muse Back by Beautiful Midnight reviews
Meet Marshall. He's a writer with a weird sense of humor and a habit of being dumped. Will he get back on the horse, or sit in his apartment with his cat and a quart of Ben and Jerry's? Tune in to find out.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 33,397 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 2/2/2008
Nocturne draft by Alyn Drasil reviews
Light and Shadow Book III. The war isn’t going how or where Alan thought it would, and changing that comes at a price. mm slash. ROUGH DRAFT.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 131,295 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Complete
Esperanza by Ocotillo reviews
*2011 SKOW nominee* Tesla is a drifter on post-virus Earth, doing his best to stay alive. When he meets two heathen traders, he follows them in hopes of a better life. He expected many things, but not that they'd make him prisoner for his genes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 109,844 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 379 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Complete
Out of Orbit by American Schokolade reviews
slash Nate may be Mr. Popular of Bethlehem, Kansas, but he’s not entirely sure that’s saying much, since no one quite knows where Bethlehem is. He wants to use Jesse Jones for his connections. Or, he thinks so. So why did the CIA get caught up in it all?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 190,843 - Reviews: 621 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 4/25/2008 - Complete
Fiend By the Bay by Bean Montag reviews
Asking for help is hard to do, but Ethan doesn't have a choice. Beau is happy to come to the rescue, even as he tells himself it's only the case he wants. A story of private detectives, illegal happenings, and lusty romance in the Bay Area. M/M
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Crime - Chapters: 30 - Words: 87,566 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Complete
Cold Turkey by Zebbie reviews
If there were groups for this, I know exactly what I’d say. “My name is Thom Oliver, and I’m addicted. It’s been six months, 3 days, 14 hours since my last one night stand. Please keep Evan Llewellyn away from me. I think I’m going to rape him.” Slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 59,219 - Reviews: 668 - Favs: 621 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Complete
Chiaroscuro draft by Alyn Drasil reviews
Light and Shadow Book II. Alan still can’t figure out his relationship, and now his world is in danger. mm slash. ROUGH DRAFT.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 113,310 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Complete
Better Than Breakfast by Tygati reviews
Irian is a Fairy Godfather, and very good at what he does. Which is why it is so baffling and vexing when nothing he does seems to bring a Happy Ever After for his latest charge. Worse, every day makes it harder to avoid trying to keep the boy for himself
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,122 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Complete
Marlboro Cakes by Jaydee Faire reviews
They say that it's the thought that counts, and that love is the best seasoning.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 749 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Complete
The Bandanna Epic by Chasmodai Blue reviews
Slash// Leigh wanders around in the aftermath of the Great Biological War in search of the isolation of night, only to meet up with a boy who has never seen the sun.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,964 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 18 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Complete
Stupid Post It Notes by Dirty-Angel-Toes reviews
Seth has a lot to deal with lately, such as adjusting to his brand new life with a brand new 'family', including the acerbic and unpredictable Tuesday, who can't seem to stand him [M/M slash]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 44 - Words: 434,926 - Reviews: 3977 - Favs: 1,869 - Follows: 1,426 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 6/15/2005
The Strangest Places by Three Score and Ten reviews
Of all the possible places to meet your future boyfriend, the bathroom is probably not in the top ten. If you're in the bathroom because you're throwing up, the odds narrow even further. Guess Cale's just lucky, then.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,552 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Complete
The Introspective Debate of Owen Brody by Dart Gray reviews
Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 38,324 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Complete
Five Moderately Easy Steps to Having a Life by write-this-down reviews
[Slash] Liam mostly keeps to himself and spends his time painting, until one day a neighbor shows up with his mail. After that, it's only a matter of time until Liam finally gets the hang of actually having a life. OneShot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,173 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 33 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
In Manitou by Alyn Drasil reviews
A night in the woods is more than Holm bargained for. And Holm is more than what Simon doesn't want. mm slash. COMPLETE.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 26,334 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/23/2007 - Published: 10/28/2006 - Complete
Homesick Abortion by d'Neronique reviews
mm I told my parents I was gay to get out of trouble. Everything else sort of fell into place. FINISHED
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,268 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 7/15/2006 - Published: 6/20/2005 - Complete
WMSmoker seeks Seclusion by PirateGrrl reviews
Slash Clyde doesn't discriminate; he hates everyone equally.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 86,582 - Reviews: 792 - Favs: 1,246 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 1/12/2006 - Published: 3/28/2005 - Complete
Remember by Lost Again reviews
[MM] You had enchanted me with your pills, with your smiles and I couldn’t have recovered, not even if I had tried. We take drugs to forget. What happens when we want to remember? COMPLETE
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,214 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/14/2004 - Published: 10/21/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Jack Saturday Can't Fail reviews
It's bad enough that I got stuck babysitting a brand-new vampire, but when it turns out he comes with deadly baggage... no, wait, that's the fun part. I might actually get to kill somebody. Slash; M for language, sex, and violence.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 72,250 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 12/16/2008
Kastor Chronicles 3: Brothers in Arms reviews
Powerful forces are moving, and Kastor is in the perfect position to get himself squashed. Rated T for the usual four-letter words and grevious bodily harm. Slash, of course; this is Kas we're talking about.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 34,615 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 3/21/2011 - Published: 2/7/2009
Helix reviews
Dr. Sebastian 'Bash' Ryan has enough on his plate leading the Helix 4 storm study without some adrenaline junkie trying to get himself tornadoed to death. And to make it worse, the troublemaker is just his type... Slash; M for language and sex
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,415 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 2/11/2011
If You Can't Take the Heat reviews
Scott is getting out of the kitchen, even if it means leaving Dane behind. M for a lot of language, a little sex, and some minor drug use.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,396 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Complete
Hench! reviews
Ever wonder what the supervillain game looks like from the henchmen's perspective? It looks like a fist suddenly getting very big, and then you're wandering in the street trying to remember your name. Shoe and Rocket have had about enough of that crap.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,576 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 11/9/2010 - Published: 11/4/2010
The West Canal reviews
When gutter witch Julin Drum finds Miki floating facedown in the canal, he captures his ghost and takes it home. That's what witches do. But Miki is an uncommonly intense ghost, and things are getting a little personal...
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,533 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Complete
Thursday Afternoon reviews
Nicky and Joey one-shot. Nicky is the luckiest evil genius in the world. Joey requires his own jar of peanut butter. Slash. M for explicit sex.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Complete
Metanoia: Everyone's a Junkie reviews
Metanoia side story: even for a hit man, love is the most dangerous game of all. M for sleazy sex and ugly violence -- this is NOT a feel-good story, guys.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Crime/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,608 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Complete
Metanoia: Watch the Carpet reviews
Metanoia side story: Valentine's Day, Milo and Star style. T for language, sex, and implied violence.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Crime/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,245 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Complete
Just Drive the Car reviews
Italian gangsters, a gorgeous car, a little bit of gunplay, and maybe something like love. T for language and violence; pretend I have also added the 'family' and 'friendship' genres; oh yeah, and I should also say 'slash' and 'mafia' for keyword-findery.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,947 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 36 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Complete
May's Ranch reviews
Zeke Moss is a sucker for handsome young men. Out here on the frontier, being a sucker can get a fellow killed. Slash; T for some language, non-explicit sex and violence.
Fiction: Western - Rated: T - English - Western/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,134 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 12/17/2008
Metanoia: Letters to River reviews
The only person Star can confide in is the brother he left behind. But maybe things won't always be that way. T for language, some slashy elements.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,514 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Complete
Metanoia 3: Snow reviews
Even when you're homeless, sometimes things are pretty good. Slash; T for language and gritty realism. Third of three, but can stand alone.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,502 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Complete
Metanoia 2: Temper reviews
Star has some anger issues. Jaime has seen this crap before. Slash; T for language and gritty realism. Second of three, but can stand alone.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,033 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Complete
Metanoia 1: Fourteen reviews
Star came to the big city looking for freedom, and he'll do whatever it takes to keep it. Jaime didn't get a choice. Slash; T for language and gritty realism. First of three, but can stand alone.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,407 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Complete
A Trinket Changes Hands reviews
A little bit of backstory on Kastor and Mikah from the Kastor Chronicles.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,239 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Complete
How To Write Slash Like A Kid reviews
Tired of struggling for literary integrity? Relax! Here's all you need to know about writing slash fic! Oh my god, I am going to get so, so flamed. *grin*
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,399 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Complete
Henry and the Shadow reviews
A life, defined by negative space. Slash, T for language.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,152 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
The Boy Who Stole Midnight reviews
In a city under siege, a boy who lives in a clock tower has an unexpected run-in with responsibility.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,550 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
The God Eaters reviews
The tale of two outlaws and the totaliatarian theocracy what done it to 'em. Slash; M for language, sex and violence.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Western - Chapters: 32 - Words: 177,952 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 51 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Fugue for Water and Telephone reviews
A dream at the end of winter.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Starhands, A Fairytale reviews
A poet has to work surprisingly hard to give away his soul.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,941 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Good Night, Claire reviews
Acceptance is the strangest stage.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,818 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Zachary reviews
All Cynthia's logical detachment can't keep her from being drawn into Zachary's web of weirdness. T for language and disturbing images.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,901 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Kastor Chronicles 2: The Road Home reviews
Charis Auberlane knows how to get what he wants, and what he wants is to see his dad. Unfortunately, his 'abduction' could start a war if Kastor doesn't get him back to his mother pretty damn quick. Slash; T for language and violence.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 118,926 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Kastor Chronicles 1: The Forge of Dawn reviews
Barbarian swordsman Kastor Auberlane has no problem with this saving-the-world thing; it's putting up with Mikah that's a little hard to take. Slash; T for some language and violence.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 109,222 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 22 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Summerlands reviews
Rescuing an exiled elven prince sets in motion a train of events that engineering student James Carver really doesn't have time for. Slash; M language, sex and violence.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 106,948 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 120 - Published: 12/16/2008