Toasted Crumpet
hide bio
Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-03-09, id: 646947, Profile Updated: 10-05-10
Author has written 1 story for Romance.

Name: Sarah Louise

Age: Slashing everything from movies, books and friends since '87

Nationality: British. I like to prove this by drinking my weight in tea.

Is: A gay man in a woman's body

Current Occupation: Retail assistant/Wannabe writer/Procrastinator Extraordinaire

The thing about life is, its full of disappointments. I figured by the time i was in my twenties, i would have an amazing full time job, travelling the world, living in my own house and generally rocking the world. But relity comes along and bites you in the ass. Instead, i have recently graduated with a usualess degree that has shut more doors than opened them. I work part-time in a job that i loathe, still living with my parents and most of my friends have moved back home after graduating and i stuck staring at the four walls of my bedroom.

Thank christ i have a sense of humour.

So, having just completed three years of a history degree, i figured it was about time i cast off the heavy chains of laziness and i really can't be bothered and get down to some seriuz writin' biznizz fo sho. It looks like i'm going to need all the lols i can possibly get to compensate the crushing disappointment of not being a multi-millionaire like i had been promised.

I have also made my poor poor friends suffer long enough with being guinea pigs for my stories. So i made the brave decision to once again pick up a pen (or open Microsoft Word Document) and make you guys suffer through it instead.

You are very welcome. :)

I came. I saw. I wrote crap slash fiction because of it.


You are on the favorites list of 34 members.

You are on the author alert list of 45 members.

Have i told you how much i love you guys recently? No?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mafia Runner by Beautifully Shattered reviews
SLASH: Afton is at the point in his life where he faces constant barriers in his path of finding his own identity. Not only does he have to push past his parents' expectations, but he has to deal with the unwavering attention of a Mafia underboss.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 209,235 - Reviews: 1524 - Favs: 1,051 - Follows: 1,205 - Updated: 8/11/2013 - Published: 6/20/2009
Sweet Screams by Kitkaht reviews
Being The Candyman doesn't require huge amounts of bravery, but that doesn't mean it isn't embarrassing to be getting visits from the Boogieman at 118. Cane just wants to banish the Boogieman, find out who his mystery supporter is and get a good night's sleep - Slash
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,571 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 4/6/2009
The Cynical Ranting of Hayden Paretski by The Original Psycho reviews
I glare at him. "What exactly IS your problem?" He slams a fist into the tree, bruising his knuckles on the bark as blood leaks in thin streaks across his hand. "The PROBLEM is that I'm in love with you!" Oh, crap. SLASH.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 51,108 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 540 - Updated: 1/24/2012 - Published: 4/10/2009
Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3031 - Favs: 1,474 - Follows: 1,705 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
Rough Diamond by Xephia reviews
Kieran is a rich and stunningly good looking senior with a reputation as a gentleman. So imagine Nate's surprise when Kieran starts to corner him, a 'rough diamond,' at every opportunity with intentions very ungentlemanly. Highschool SLASH
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,241 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 10/19/2010 - Published: 7/31/2009
Marrying the 'Vitch' by Deena reviews
It didn’t matter to my Hindu Mum that he was an Italian badass covered in tattoos; the Indian fortune-teller had predicted that I would marry him so according to Mum, marry him I would. **Lucan’s Story**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 81,384 - Reviews: 1296 - Favs: 1,178 - Follows: 1,299 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009
It Can Always Get Worse by Ollie May reviews
Spies, roommates, scars, MCATS, kisses, mafiosos. Trust me, it can ALWAYS get worse.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 73,017 - Reviews: 974 - Favs: 756 - Follows: 774 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 6/21/2006
Single Title by orbicland reviews
Nathan meets Scott by accident. Their roommates, coworkers, bosses and brothers all have some relationships to work out, one piece at a time. Also there's some slash. Currently being re-written and will be re-posted in the future.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,784 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 5/1/2007
Only by Association by CaseyBear reviews
Andre lives in a state of mind that everything could go wrong with falling in love or lust with one of the popular people. His best friend is crushing on the queen bee, Andre having an affair with the enemy and his tree hugging friend punched someone.MM
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,748 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 3/16/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009
What a Lovely Scarf, Seth by Pretty Rad reviews
Slash. I swear, this boy’s the definition of calm and collected. I doubt he even knows how to be angry. Even when he found out his boyfriend was cheating on him, he was all suave and cool about it. Seriously? Hell! Nana would love him...Oh...Nana...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 48,930 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 10/30/2009 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Complete
Gloriously Other by Semi-Precious Weapons reviews
Madeline Rideau’s family dynamics are like a horror Soap Opera. Her mother was once a wiccan priestess, her stepfather's a faery prince, & her brother can kill with a single touch and he's half immortal. Plus the assasination attempts. Can't forget those.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,636 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/10/2009
The Greatest Loss by CassidyKreuz reviews
Tristin is having trouble deciding what is worse: the fact that his luck is running dry, or that fate decided to throw a curve ball at him in the shape of the reckless and unbalanced October, whose sanity is currently pending. M/M Slash
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,294 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 9/23/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009
The Poisoner's Game by FreezingRayne reviews
*ON HAITUS* Sequel to The Poisoner's Ring. Cale and Azri journey west, in search of a cure for a deadly poison. All is not what is seems however, and Cale quickly realizes that his destiny may be more tied to Azri's than he ever coud have forseen.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 69,191 - Reviews: 659 - Favs: 386 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 8/22/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008
One For the Books by Kitkaht reviews
Kale Grimmore is the magicless librarian for the school's magical library. He doesn't need to be well liked, and with his personality he understandably isn't. So he can only think the new teacher must be masochistic, a moron, or both because he won't leave Kale alone. - Slash
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,786 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 8/12/2009 - Published: 3/23/2009
Rainbow Fish by Dirty-Angel-Toes reviews
Life’s hard when you’re stuck in the future fighting a war you don’t understand on a planet that’s falling apart. It’s even worse when the most wanted assassin in the world can’t keep his damn hands, or lips, off you. [ m/m slash ]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 144,661 - Reviews: 873 - Favs: 690 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 10/4/2006
Dehumanized by Kos-Mos607 reviews
SLASH. The small town of Wicker has always been relatively free of crime but giant wolf-like creatures have been rumored to lurk in the forest bordering the town but when questioned the townsfolk insist it's nonsense discontinued
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,131 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/23/2009 - Published: 10/27/2008
Greg the Vampire by Aggy Bird reviews
Sequelish to FrankInLove: Greg, Dracula's dark, menacing, socially retarded eldest son, finally finds romance. That is, after he gets over his intimacy issues, adopts a dragon, and helps save a monster orphanage. MM, WIP, other acronyms.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,761 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 12/23/2007
Rise of the Dawn by The Inkslinger reviews
YAOI/SLASH Shanza and Ikeda, two lost souls forced together through circumstance to discover what it means to love. Chosen as the Gods' representatives, danger and deceit lurks around every corner. Will the trials ahead unite them, or destroy them?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 394,176 - Reviews: 645 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 214 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 1/30/2004
The Poisoner's Ring by FreezingRayne reviews
Cale lives the quiet life, until he meets two strange travelers one windy evening. Now, Cale finds himself indentured to a man both beautiful and deadly, as quick to kill as he is to smile, who's title is whispered with cold fear: The Poisoner. MM slash *Note* This story is getting a facelift-please check out the rewrite!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 84,818 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 871 - Follows: 310 - Updated: 8/10/2008 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Complete
My Undetected Canoodling by Analytical Calico reviews
The seemingly unrequited crush on your best friend, the perfect romantic cliche, and you know those always work out. However, when an evil older brother, mind games, and dirty little secrets are thrown into the mix, maybe this cliche isn't that perfect...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 53,943 - Reviews: 704 - Favs: 561 - Follows: 440 - Updated: 12/29/2007 - Published: 12/1/2005
Emery & Me by In.the.Wardrobe reviews
He looked towards my waist before groaning and looking away. “Look what you’re wearing.” Confused, I glanced down, and immediately realised the dilemma. I was in my underwear. “Oh.” [COMPLETE]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 75,512 - Reviews: 1329 - Favs: 2,074 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 12/24/2007 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Complete
Saturday Morning Cartoons by Dr. Pepper 14 reviews
[Slash] We're just two horny teenaged boys. We don't know what the hell we're doing. But that's okay, it's more fun this way.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 63,590 - Reviews: 614 - Favs: 563 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 7/12/2007 - Published: 10/14/2005
Sandcastles by fragmented blue reviews
[slash] Simon and Charlie have always known each other, ever since they were children. Simon thinks Charlie doesn't care about him, and never will. And Charlie? Well, he's having enough trouble just trying to figure Simon out.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,845 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
Five Moderately Easy Steps to Having a Life by write-this-down reviews
[Slash] Liam mostly keeps to himself and spends his time painting, until one day a neighbor shows up with his mail. After that, it's only a matter of time until Liam finally gets the hang of actually having a life. OneShot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,173 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 33 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Sacrifices by Rachel Lynn reviews
Tam has been raised to die. But when death opens new doors, he has to figure out how to live a whole new life. Complete oneshot. MxM, slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,149 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 25 - Published: 11/23/2005 - Complete
Promise by Redeemer343 reviews
A gay teenager enters college, having made a peculiar promise to himself. But his life changes once he meets a womanizing sophmore (who vows to sleep with 122 women), and new, strange feelings in both of them start to bloom.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 96,645 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 11/8/2005 - Published: 9/15/2004
Something In Common by NotEnough reviews
Nathen's been dating Amy for the majority of the past year, though he doesn't know why - they are nothing alike - then Tyler shows up and for the first time, Nathen finds he has something in common with Amy. They both want Tyler. Male/Male.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,644 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/16/2004
It's not all Mary Poppins reviews
SLASH. Being a male nanny had its occupational hazards. Such as show and tell, teddy bear tea parties and getting shoved up against the wall by the boss and kissed within an inch of your life. Leland is pretty sure that wasn't in the job description.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,509 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 531 - Follows: 694 - Updated: 10/4/2010 - Published: 9/20/2009