IF YOU LIKE WARRIORS, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you adore pandas, copy this into you profile.

If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent that would be laughing their butts off.

If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many people smoke Marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your bio.

I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

Repost this if you agree with it.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking, saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If you agree with the above, copy and paste it into your profile.

It is estimated that you will die at the age of 85 Years Old.

Porcupine
Genera and species: Hystrix cristata
Collective Term: A prickle of porcupines

Description
Porcupines are physically small individuals with an over-abundance of attitude. Probably due to their lack of self-esteem, they have a tendency to seek comfort by putting others down, and wit, sarcasm, and ridicule are the primary weapons of its oftentimes disagreeable personality. In defense of the porcupine's actions, its barbs are not designed to cause permanent harm. Instead, they're intended as a preemptive attack to protect its own sensitive feelings, and if anyone is wounded by its thorny words, the porcupine is quick to come to its victim's aid. The porcupine displays the characteristically sharp mind and opportunistic lifestyle of the rodent personalities, but unable to function successfully in social situations, it is limited in its career choices and is rarely found in sales or management positions. Of course, a job like postal worker, DMV employee, and IRS agent, matches its prickly personality perfectly.

Like other rodent personalities, porcupines are opportunists and are resourceful and creative in their endeavors. Adept at taking advantage of others' mistakes, they are the first to jump on the bandwagon when an opportunity arises. With their consciously minimalist lifestyle, their financial needs are limited to the bare essentials of living and their homes are unadorned but functional. Unambiguous loners, porcupines prefer jobs that reward individual effort -- avoiding manual labor or work that demands mental concentration. However, if it's lucky enough to find a job that requires a biting tongue, it performs above the call of duty.

If there were two words that summarized the porcupine lover, they would be use protection! For in the bedroom, the porcupine tends to be a little too curious and explorative. For them, sex is a gala event that should be spiced with all manner of strange toys and odd positions. Nocturnal animals, they prefer the safety of their homes or small offices during the day, and most of their social connections take place at night, when they wander off to seek the companionship of the opposite sex. But their caustic wit and defensive posture puts others on their guard and they often return alone.

It can be painful to get close to a porcupine and only those who have earned its trust can endure an intimate relationship. It is comfortable and secure in the company of mice and mole personalities, but should fastidiously avoid the companionship of larger carnivores like bears, foxes and wolves.

Mountain Goat
Genera and species: Ovis musimo
Collective Term: A trip of mountain goats

Description
There's a great deal of similarity between the mountain goat and its fellow ungulate the sheep. But this enigmatic creature stands out from the crowd with its unique combination of alertness, generosity and unassuming charm. For the mountain goat is a loner. An edgy, introverted soul. who abhors crowds and puts is nimble legs to work in the great outdoors.

If you're looking for a scout guide or hiking partner, this sure-footed beast is an ideal choice. However, its talents as a leader are suspect. Because of its solitary existence, it does not have the insight into human behavior that is required for leadership. Mountain goats are not risk takers and need to feel solid ground beneath their feet before making any major decision. Mia Farrow is an exemplary mountain goat who manages to maintain her balance while snakes and rock-falls threaten to dislodge her grip on life.

The mountain goat's desire to find a mate can lure it from its solitary hideout, and it seeks partners with strong personalities that promise protection in an unfriendly world. However, when choosing a mate, it will quickly withdraws if it fails to get a commitment. This behavior is often interpreted as desperation and some relationships are doomed before they get off the ground.

A relationship with a mountain goat is an exercise in ups and downs. Even though its emotional fragility causes the premature death of many love affairs, provide its partner remains faithful, the mountain goat will honor it with commitment and fidelity. For mountain goats are unconditional with their love and try hard to make their relationships work. This species of ungulates has a special relationship with the eagle with whom it shares a common mountain perspective.

Aquarius

The symbol for Aquarius is the Water-Bearer, a universal man who is pouring forth water from a jug. This universal man represents the community of mankind. The waters of life flow, like ideas coming from the unrestrained mind. Many people mistakenly think that Aquarius is a water sign, but it is an intellectual air sign. As such, Aquarius can be interested in concepts and ideas. Because of its universality, Aquarius can seem somewhat detached from personal emotions. It's not that you Aquarius don't have feelings; it's just that yours are different from most others. You dance to the beat of a different drummer.

Aquarius can be good communicators as long as you stay in the mental realms. Aquarius are friendly, but can become uncomfortable as you discuss your feelings. In fact, your friends are very important to you and Aquarius might be involved with groups of like-minded people in a social club, a political action group or a public service group.

The Aquarius motto could be Einstein's "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." And yours is a great spirit, sometimes erratic and sometimes brilliant. You know much about yourself and the world, but knowing everything can be an obstacle to your own happiness. Your practice is twofold. First, you must learn how to separate your crazy notions from what is important. And second, you need to learn how to respond to the opposition you encounter without making it difficult for yourself.

Element: Air
The astrological element of air represents movement. And the most efficient movement between two points is often a thought. Air signs are thinkers. They emphasize the intellect over other functions. With active minds and a good command of language, the air signs are the natural born communicators. They can be light and breezy as the breath of spring, but their words can also carry the power of a gale force wind.

The air of Aquarius can be like the winds after a lightning strike. Large amounts of air are moved around suddenly in such a storm, and that which survives this intensity gets to enjoy the calm after the storm.

Eleventh House: Future
The Eleventh House is sometimes called the House of Friends, Hopes and Dreams. Friends will support our dreams of the future. Here, in the Eleventh House, we're not concerned with our day-to-day responsibilities. Instead, we are thinking about our ideal situation and dreaming of ways to get there. Whether we do or not is less important than keeping the dreams alive.

Key Planet: Uranus
Uranus is the weirdest planet in the solar system. Its north pole faces the Sun and its Moons spin around it backwards. As such, Uranus symbolizes the eccentric and unique things in our lives. It is associated with brilliance -- even if short-lived. And, like lightning, Uranus can release the hidden tensions suddenly and with great immediacy. In fact, Uranus is often the astrological culprit when our lives are turned upside-down. As the key planet of Aquarius, it encourages us to rebel against social injustices and to seek freedom of expression in our lives.

Aquarius Greatest Strength: Your eclectic way of seeing things

Aquarius Possible Weakness: Know-it-all attitude puts others off

Chinese Zodiac - RatPersonality

Occupying the 1st and most prominent position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Rat symbolizes such character traits as wit, imagination and curiosity. Rats have keen observation skills and with those skills they’re able to deduce much about other people and other situations. Overall, Rats are full of energy, talkative and charming but they have a tendency to become aggressive.

Rats are full of good advice but they will never share their troubles with others. They are honest individuals and they enjoy living for the moment. They’re also capable of surviving any situation.

Health

Overall Rats enjoy good health. They’re very active which helps keep them in shape and able to fight off sickness. They can at times be tense, aggressive, and full of nervous energy, conditions which can lead to stress. Regular exercise designed to calm will benefit Rats.

Career

Extremely perceptive and wise, Rats can focus on the big picture. That ability along with their good judgment enables Rats to solve problems before they arise. Rats focus on titles because titles translate into status and money; two motivating forces. Rats make excellent bosses. Routine halts their creativity so Rats need flexible positions that allow creativity. Good career choices include: administrator, director, manager, entrepreneur, broadcaster, writer, musician, stand-up comedian, politician, lawyer, researcher, and race car driver.

Relationships

Rats are very charming. They enjoy social activities and because they’re out a lot, they’re always meeting new people. They aren’t good at breaking off relationships however, and this presents problems going forward with new relationships. Anyone hoping to partner with a Rat must be able to keep up with the Rat’s active nature.

Rats and the 5 elementsMetal Rats – Years 1900 and 1960

Metal Rats are strong-willed individuals who are determined to get what they want, regardless of the cost. Intensively emotional, their behavior can border on extreme. Possessive feelings, envy and rage can cause problems. Relationships can be problematic as Metal Rats are obstinate.

Water Rats – Years 1912 and 1972

Water Rats are extremely influential. They’re smart and insightful which makes them excellent at problem-solving. Practical and understanding, Water Rats interact well with and are liked by others.

Wood Rats – Years 1924 and 1984

Not nearly as self-confident as they appear on the surface, Wood Rats will never expose this vulnerability to others. They’re successful despite their perpetual fear of failing. Wood Rats enjoy being with friends and family and fortunately for them, feelings of love and respect are mutual.

Fire Rats – Years 1936 and 1996

Fire Rats enjoy being spontaneous. They enjoy traveling and taking on new tasks and will take on practically any new project or adventure simply to avoid any sense of routine and monotony. They’re zestful, spirited, and giving individuals who are well-liked by others.

Earth Rats – Years 1948 and 2008

Earth Rats prefer a sense of stability, digging in and putting down roots early to help ensure a successful future. They believe that slow and steady is the best approach. Being spontaneous is an inbred trait, but this type of behavior does not suit Earth Rats.

CompatibilityPersonality

Occupying the 2nd position on the Chinese Zodiac, Oxen possess such character traits as dependability, strength and determination. Oxen are tolerant individuals who believe that the road to success involves hard work and scrupulous behavior; they don’t believe in taking shortcuts. They characterize those who don’t work hard as lazy individuals not worthy of respect.

Oxen are capable of trusting others and will listen to their opinions with an open mind. However, Oxen prefer making decisions that are based on their own research. Oxen favor strong, life-long alliances to casual acquaintances.

Home is where Oxen go to seek comfort, occasionally watching television or reading. They prefer the rural outdoors and spend the majority of their “home” time working in the garden or caring for the yard.

Health

Oxen are strong individuals who overall are healthy and live long, fulfilled lives. However, they tend to work too much, rarely allowing themselves enough time to relax. Oxen could benefit from incorporating more non-work-related activity into their lives.

Career

Oxen prefer work that is routine. They take a methodological approach to their tasks and excel in jobs that are specialized. Oxen possess a keen eye for detail and an admirable work ethic. They are more productive when allowed to work alone. Good career choices for oxen include: interior designer, painter, carpenter, quarry worker, archeologist, horticulturist, mechanic, engineer, draftsman, banker, broker, real estate agent and army officer.

Relationships

Oxen aren’t very sociable and rarely participate in group activities. They abhor small talk and won’t waste their time flirting. They will search long and hard for the perfect partner as change makes them uncomfortable. Whether due to an ox’s tendency to be overbearing or tendency to place blame on others, relationships with Oxen don’t always work out. When Oxen realize that partnerships involve two people and two points of view, satisfying matches are possible.

Oxen and the 5 elementsMetal Ox – Years 1901 and 1961

Like metal, these Oxen are amazingly strong. They’re extremely hard-working individuals who will do whatever is necessary to achieve their goals. They’re trustworthy, dependable individuals who are not likely to show emotion. They have difficulty interpreting the feelings of others.

Water Ox – Years 1913 and 1973

Water Oxen are much more flexible, and because of this quality, they’re better able to understand what others are thinking and feeling. They’re sincere, patient, quick-thinking and others enjoy being around them.

Wood Ox – Years 1925 and 1985

Wood Oxen work well as part of a team, but because of their work ethic, self-confidence and strong sense of morals, they’ll always perform better as the team’s leader. They do have a tendency to be quick-tempered and outspoken.

Fire Ox – Years 1937 and 1997

Fire Oxen are natural born leaders. In fact, they’ll often hold positions of importance at work and in the community. They have short fuses and tend to react impulsively instead of considering the opinion of others.

Earth Ox – Years 1949 and 2009

Earth Oxen are successful individuals, probably because they are diligent rather than impulsive. A more modest approach combined with their reliability and sincerity makes them more likeable.

Compatibility

Oxen are compatible with a Rat and Rooster and incompatible with a Tiger and Horse.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said anything that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique which is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a title or nickname or something like that for each other, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

Great minds can read this!

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

IF YOU LIKE WARRIORS, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh, the irony...

If you hate homework, join the club and copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're very forgetful, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If you think cats are awesome, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this onto your profile

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. (Well I do, but they're questionable morals :D)
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good, be conceited and retarded
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be antisocial.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be overcontrolling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary Sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an overcontrolling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

---

(Don't own this, i found it on another profile, i thought it was hilarious)
Notes To Self...Of DOOM!
1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4.
7. Note Expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.
25. Train armies of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."
48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.
49. The way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a shit.
51. The Ten Steps to Dying.
a. Fall down.
b. Be rushed to hospital.
c. Not be saved.
d. Be mourned over.
e. Be buried in dirt.
f. Have your grave looted.
g. Rot.
h. Rot.
i. Rot.
j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can kill you too.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms.
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM.
66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it’s broken glass.
73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.
82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to reattach fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as mortal.
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Star by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
95. Brutally.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.
99. Gullible is written on the ceiling.
100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.

More Notes to Self of DOOM!

1. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
2. When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!
3. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
4. If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
5. I am worse than evil... I am the author!
6. Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.
7. No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
8. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
9. People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
10. When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
11. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
12. When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
13. Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
14. There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
15. It's not incest! It's brotherly love! They're different!
16. "Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
17. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
18. "Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
19. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together.""
21. Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
20. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
22. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
23. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
24. Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.
25. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
26. I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
27. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
28. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
29. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
30. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
31. Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
32. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
33. That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
34. Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
35. …didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…
36. True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.
37. Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
38. Therapist= The Rapist
39. Unfortunately, Stupid people are everywhere.
40. You know how to find out you're stupid?
41. When you don't know that the numbers 20 and 21 are switched.
43. And that there is no 42.
44. And you don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
45. Angry woman = dead man

---

-- Evolution -- life's a niche, and then you die.
-- "The physiology exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper."
-- If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
-- If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. -- I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
-- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- I find it rather easy to protray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
-- I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
-- Instant gratification takes too long.
-- Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
-- Just when you realize life's a bitch, it has puppies.
-- The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
-- Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
-- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
-- I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.
-- Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
-- All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
-- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
-- Scientists say that 1 out of every 4 people are crazy... so go check 3 of your friends, if it's not them... Congrats!
-- Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies XD
-- I'm not antisocial, I just don't like you.
-- I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
-- Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
-- I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
-- Finals equals academic suicide
-- Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
-- I hear voices... They said they don't like you.
-- I'm sleeping...Please IM me quietly XD
-- Looking at the mirror. Enjoying the view. Be back later :D
-- The walls told me not to talk to you.
-- Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Leave a message, and I'll IM you back later. Leave a SEXY message and I'll IM you back sooner.
-- I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will Stalk you later.
-- You! Out of the gene pool--NOW!
-- If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.
-- Nostalgia? Revenge is a form of Nostalgia right?
-- Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
-- Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
-- The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-- Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.
-- In man's struggle against the world, bet on the world.
-- If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.
-- Just Friends phrase - I don't just want you to mourn the loss; I want to remind you of it every day. I want you to suffer. I want you to envy. I want you to die slowly, a bit at a time. And I want you to smile and thank me for it.
-- Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.
-- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it.
-- I am currently occupied, give me a couple minutes to get frustrated and then I'll get back to you.
-- I'm drunk...I'm armed...I'm off my meds. You had better make your message really, really sweet.
-- Hi, I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't want to talk to. Leave a message and if I don't IM you back, well, what can I say?
-- Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up.
-- That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
-- Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.

---

"I am lost. I have gone to look for myself. If I get back, before I return, please tell me to wait."

"Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell."

"That'll happen when God kisses Satan and everyone claps."

"Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules."

"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much."

"Those who care won't matter and those who matter won't care."

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was."

“Behind every nothing is a little something.”

“…didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…”

“Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.”

"FEAR: Fuck Everything And Run."

"True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending."

"Prepared for the worst. Hoping for the best."

''Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run instead.''

"The lack of evidence does not signify the evidence's lack. Just because we did not confirm with our own two eyes does not mean something does not exist."

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.”

"Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you."

"While evil and cruel, the Devil took care of his own."

---

1) “You’ve always been a little different, haven’t you? Put your clothes back on.”

2) “If you are not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

3) “You will be injured in a disco inferno.”

4) “Don’t run; you’ll only die tired.”

5) “Look up. The vultures are circling.”

6) “I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.”

7) “Life is one fool thing after another, while love is two fool things after each other.”

8) "I'm not afraid of death; but dying scares the hell out of me."

9) “Beware of odors from unfamiliar sources.”

10) “Schizophrenia always beats being alone.”

11) “It wasn’t blood in general he couldn’t stand the sight of; it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.”

12) “Elephants wear tutus so they can hide in pine trees. Did you ever see an elephant in a pine tree? No? Well then, you know it works.”

13) ”Never forget a friend, especially when they owe you money.”

14) “You have a face for radio.”

15) “If you talk to God, you’re praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”

16) “I used to be Schizophrenic, but we're better now.”

17) “Don’t hit kids. No, seriously, they’re carrying guns now.”

18) “My kid shot your honors student.”

19) “Elmo watches you when you sleep.”

20) “I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.”

21) “How do you say 'Go play in rush hour traffic' in the language of flamingly gay butterfly men?”

22) “He's one bad mother bunny!”

23) “I’ve noticed that all of your insults, mainly directed at me, can all translate to ‘Stunningly gay with a topping of whipped homoeroticism’.”

24) “Every day of my life contains enough stress to turn a non-violent flower-waving hippie into a gun-toting maniac.”

25) “Fuck you; fuck you roughly with a rusty piece of barbed wire.”

26) “What in the holy living ass fuck of Buddha’s mother is that about? Wait, do I even want to know?”

27) “Every time you 'assume' you make an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me’.”

28) “They said you were a great asset; I told them they were off by two letters.”

29) “I realized I was God when I prayed and was only talking to myself."

30) “I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”

31) “Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.”

32) “All stressed out and no one to choke.”

33) "You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up."

34) "I just love nonverbal communication."

35) "There's nothing wrong with being a loser unless you're really good at it."

36) "Silence is golden, duct tape is silver."

37) "God must love stupid people; he made so many."

38) "Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there."

39) "Don’t criticize my mess unless you’d like to become part of it."

40) "Judge me all you want just keep the verdict to yourself."

41) "I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it."

42) "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice...then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."

43) “Boys are like clowns, they try to make you laugh, yet they scare you at the same time.”

44) ”Stealing one idea is plagiarism. Stealing many is research."

45) "If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them."

46) "My goal in life is to hurt you, severely."

47) "That which doesn't kill you...will most likely succeed the second time."

48) "If you don't like my driving; then stay off the sidewalk!"

49) "My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

---

If we knew what we’re doing, it wouldn’t be called research.

The only place where 'success' comes before 'work' is in the dictionary.

My father had a profound influence in me…he was a lunatic.

Sometimes to deal with reality, you just have to be a little crazy.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you can get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its students.

Mental pain, mental anxiety, menstrual cramps, menopause…all our problems start with men.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But roses are wilting, violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my grandfather did, in his sleep…not screaming like the passengers in his car.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

Sometimes you build up walls around your heart, not to keep everybody out, but to see who cares enough to bring them down.

We’re best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge…damn, I’m gonna miss you!

I came. I saw. I kicked their asses.

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

In three words, I can sum up everything that I learned about life: it goes on.

Fate is a security blanket for those too afraid to take charge of their lives.

To catch me, you have to be fast. To find me, you have to be smart. But to be me…damn, you've got to be kidding.

On a tombstone: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK.

Just act like I’m not here…WATCHING you.

The bigger the light, the bigger the shadow left behind.

You are an embarrassment to nature, you know that?
"Us? You two are a bit of an odd couple.’’ "There is no us!’’ "I see, can’t have one on your own, so you decided to adopt.’’

Heaven’s doesn’t want you and Hell’s afraid you’ll take over.

When the love of your life dies, the problem is not that some part of you dies, which it does, but that some part of you is still alive.

Fools live to regret their words, wise men live to regret their silence.

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

My imaginary friend thinks I have serious issues.

Of course I’m out of my mind…it’s dark and scary in there.

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is, unto itself, a higher law.

There are wounds that even time can’t heal.

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

Can you switch gears, or are you stuck on stupid?

Every moment is a chance to turn things around.

I can go from CHICK to BITCH in 3.5 seconds.

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to my death your right to say it.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everybody equally.

Never argue with idiots. They’ll drag you to their level and then beat you with their experience.”

“You know what’s so bad about being a guy?” “What? Having an extra appendage?” “No, being straight and having a horde of your drinking buddies suddenly hitting on you.”

Our parents spend the first moments of our lives teaching us how to talk and walk, and then the rest of our lives telling us to shut up and sit.

If I was the sun, I would erase all my light so I wouldn’t see you every day.

You laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at you because you’re all the same.

I would rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven.

Few women admit their age, fewer men act it.

Of all the things i've lost, i miss my brain most.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. But for God's sake, became rich so I can be it, too.

One death is tragedy, hundred of deaths are statistic.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

---

STORY PROGRESS: Child of Prophecy, the story I co-authored with King0Mik, has been moved to a new joint account with the username of Misosazai under the title 'Throw off the Shackles of Government'. Please subscribe to that account if you wish to read more. Thank you.