its-like-i-sed
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Joined 06-26-09, id: 675921, Profile Updated: 08-07-09

heyy everyone

well i'll just say that i will be extremely glad if you reviewed my storie/s

okay well erm about myself: im a girl

im from UK

Im straight (I.E: i like guys)

i like reading and righting byut i have yet to figure out if im good... at either

lol

i'll take any sorts of reviews

erm, bye bye

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

Is it michael jackson

little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?

mummy: why god is both girl and boy

little boy: mummy is god black or white?

mummy: why god is both black and white

little boy: mummy is god gay or strait?

mummy: why god is both gay and strait

little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?

29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.

7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to 10.99. Please pull up to the window."

8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.

9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.

10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

11. Ask to see a menu.

12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."

13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!"

14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."

17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"

18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."

19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)

20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."

21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.

28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."

29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Swish by lovelyhead reviews
He was her rival, on and off the court. He can get any girl he wants, and she doesn't know how to lose. In a battle of basketball and the heart, Taylor Hampton won't let James Stirling win. Dallington High School never saw this coming.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 120,357 - Reviews: 3500 - Favs: 2,909 - Follows: 1,664 - Updated: 1/6/2016 - Published: 7/23/2005 - Complete
Nobody Said It Was Easy by Secretive reviews
Sequal to QoaQR: Nobody said love was easy...then again no one mentioned the mind games, precocious kids, homicidal inventions, therapy, or as much stalking as is going on. I feel woefully misinformed...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 71,441 - Reviews: 1358 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 943 - Updated: 2/15/2015 - Published: 9/5/2006
To Feel the Sun by Aurette reviews
When the love of her life marries someone else, Gracie has to accept reality and move on. With devastatingly attractive lawyers and cute cellists who won't go away, love shows that if it's one thing, it's unpredictable. Winner of Best Het for SKoW Round 12!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 65,096 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 992 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 8/23/2012 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Complete
The Idiocies of a Chocoholic by Irish Eyes 63 reviews
REMOVED.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,046 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 4/20/2012 - Published: 6/16/2009
The Broken Road by MandyHubbard reviews
I am the published author of PRADA & PREJUDICE, a novel for teens now in stores nationwide! **** 1803: Lillian Paine disguises herself as a servant in order to escape her guardian. Logan, Earl of Harskbury has plans for her that only include seduction.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 86,720 - Reviews: 721 - Favs: 1,335 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 2/24/2012 - Published: 2/19/2005 - Complete
Kissing Booth Princess by hotcheri reviews
[COMPLETE] "Pucker up, princess," he murmured, grazing his lips temptingly over Nala's as he spoke. Manning a kissing booth during summer led to stolen phones, mall encounters, phone smushing and more. Manning a kissing booth led Nala to Chase.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 62,876 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 706 - Follows: 234 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Complete
So Real by Aurette reviews
Danielle was married and divorced by age 22. With a cynical new view on romance, she strikes up an unusual friendship with a blue haired poet who has a few scars of his own, and who is everything she isn't supposed to like. Sequel to To Feel the Sun.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 61,936 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 237 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Complete
Mopeds Come in Pink by Jemia reviews
The boy was gorgeous. Slap his face on a Calvin Klein underwear ad and I swear, those boxers would sell. It's just too bad we attended rival schools. Contact was off-limits. But then again, he had never been big on following rules...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,969 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 44 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Complete
Chasing Mr Darcy by Vena Cava reviews
(One-Shot) Once upon a time, we met. And for me, that was happily ever after.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,699 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 47 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Complete
Love Game by All Over You reviews
She's the sarcastic bitchy girl. He's the panty-dropping manwhore. The only rule of the game: Don't fall in love. Who ever falls first, loses. COMPLETE. REMOVED.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 2,026 - Reviews: 1350 - Favs: 1,525 - Follows: 383 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Complete
Not Quite Off the Hook by lulu.lemon reviews
Senior Year: Feelings that still exist, new characters in the picture, built up anger and sarcasm, drama, love...not so much love. Sandra gone... or is she? Who knew one hook up could cause so much drama? SEQUEL TO HOOKED ON HIM! -Will re-write soon!-
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 190,508 - Reviews: 1688 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 343 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Complete
Ol' Blue Eyes by Emedea reviews
“Jeez, you’re such a creeper.” Joey crosses her arms over her chest. “I didn’t know you were following me. What if I came in here to masturbate or something?” Carson shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, you wanna masturbate, go right ahead. I don’t judge.”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,231 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Complete
In the Eye of the Tiger by Ameliebabie reviews
Leah Townsend is on the run.And in serious danger.Desperate,she finds herself in the hands of a spy who is as dangerous as they come.Has she jumped from the frying pan into the fire?R&R!Thanx PLS READ MY UPDATE ON CHAP 30 IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS STORY.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 65,895 - Reviews: 2068 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 3/5/2003
How to Save a Life by All Over You reviews
He took a deep breath. "If you do this to me, Fallon, I'll never forgive you," he said sternly. "I'll leave you and we'll be done." ONE-SHOT. REMOVED.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 21 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Complete
1:32 AM by realize reviews
ONESHOT.“Well, what else am I supposed to think!” I yell. “You barely talk to me anymore, you have secret phone calls, you sneak out at night, and you come back smelling like perfume!”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,340 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/22/2009 - Complete
Little Miss Perfect by candii-apple reviews
“How about a movie? Saturday night? Just you and me.” I scowled. “How about you get the hell off my desk before I kick your fat ass off it?” He grinned at me, unfazed. “You just can’t get enough of my ass, can you?” ONESHOT
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,962 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 987 - Follows: 76 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Complete
The Matchmaker by StormDancer reviews
It is said that if you put your name in locker 420, the Matchmaker will find you your perfect match. So what happens when the arrogant spoiled brat is captivated and the matchmaker meets her match?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 137,441 - Reviews: 3506 - Favs: 4,197 - Follows: 1,464 - Updated: 8/19/2008 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Complete
Letters to Mary McGraw by JaneBarrie reviews
What's your name?" he asked, hand on the door knob. She smiled, "Mary." "Like the Virgin?" he laughed, stepping out of the restaurant. SKoW Challenge Response
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 42,076 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 342 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Complete
Mustard by gum is yum reviews
ONE SHOT. Remy's boyfriend Matt is perfect in every way except one: he has an infuriating best friend named Jack who just loves to bother her. "Do you think I find joy in the fact that all I can ever think about is you, no matter how hard I try not to?"
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,450 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 892 - Follows: 58 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Complete
Adam: The Irritating Paramedic by The Cheerio reviews
One Shot. This is what i get for being heroic. A gaping bleeding hole. And an annoying paramedic that's supposed to be saving my life. Well, at least he's sexy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,319 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 26 - Published: 5/31/2008 - Complete
Not what it seems by punkproud reviews
...
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Complete
Sooner or Later by JaneBarrie reviews
My world was perfect, or so it seemed. That is until I got pregnant. How do I tell my best friend, who has a girlfriend, that I am carrying his child? Oh that's right, I won't.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 35,408 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
Hello Kitty by Endless Dark reviews
After a drunken night, Lira wakes up next to Jude, a childhood nemesis. It gets worse when they find that they’re married. But when an opportunity too good to pass up presents itself, what will happen when they stay married?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 85,456 - Reviews: 3200 - Favs: 4,119 - Follows: 479 - Updated: 11/10/2004 - Published: 5/10/2004 - Complete
The Thirteenth by Niccy reviews
Sam isn't having a great day. Her car breaks down, she's late for an interview and she catches her boyfriend cheating on her. When there's a blackout that night, will her gorgeous neighbour and infamous player make things better or worse? [One Shot]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,104 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/20/2004 - Complete