PersonofthePen
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Poll: What is your favorite type of music? You may choose up to five. Vote Now!
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Joined 06-30-09, id: 676605, Profile Updated: 09-14-10
Author has written 38 stories for Horror, Life, Humor, Nature, Humor, Fantasy, Politics, Fantasy, Action, General, Supernatural, Fable, Love, General, War, Romance, Kids, and Sci-Fi.

Hello! I am Person of the Pen and I am a teenager with a serious thing for online fanfic sites. I am also DarkAngelSnapeLover from fanfiction.net, and UberReader AND MegaReader here on fictionpress. You can link yourself to those amazing profiles with these links: www.fanfiction.net/u1825804/DarkAngelSnapeLover and www.fanfiction.net/u2030645/UberReader . I have a DeviantArt as DarkAngelSnapeLover, but I haven't posted anything yet. I'll produce a link whenever I get a chance.

A little note from me: I am in college. I'll help you if you work with me, but don't expect timely replies and whatnot. I'm going to try to work on some things to post on here during my next break, but don't count on anything.

UPCOMING BREAK: I will be 100 unavailable from this coming up Thurday until the end of September. Just PM me if you need anything, but I won't be back for a while.

I have one upcoming series to tell the bored readers of my profile: it's called Harvest Moon and it is a soap opera series that will be in the young adult category. It's on-going, and kind of like a television show that is either an hour or thirty minutes, depending on what mood I'm in. It's up right now!! http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2718942/1/Harvest_Moon And PLEASE review so that I can use YOUR characters in the next season!!

So, for this account, only my most favorite works of literature. I like writing novels, but since I have been introduced to the world of fan fiction, I have taken to writing shorter stories. They're fun really, getting everything down in fifty pages of less and then waiting fifty years of more for someone to come along and review it. Amazing times those are, amazing.

Now I'm advertising for myself. One of my favorites, the Angel, is AWESOME, so check it out. And Harvest Moon needs some love. It's an amazing teenage soap opera and it needs help from fans to keep going. CHECK IT OUT!

I will upload more sooner or later, currently I don't have the time. So, if you like my works, I hope you like to wait. Now, RANDOMNESS!

More random things about me:

Favorite TV Shows: Stargate: SG1, MacGyver, Robot Chicken, Monk, N.C.I.S., and numerous others that many of you do not care about, therefore I am moving along to over favorite items.

Favorites in a list so I don't have to keep hitting the bold button:

Songs: too many to list, so we'll move along now Music: I'll listen to many things, except opera and rap. Everything else is good.

Movie: Die Hard (the first one), UP! (17 is the new 5 people. No, that's just how I roll), and quite a few others.

Books: Harry Potter series, The Dead and the Gone, Life as we Knew it (those last two go together but I don't know if there is an actual name for the series), and...we're still working on this category. Come back later.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. I'm a rather boring rambler, but I think I'm a good author. By the way, updating isn't really something I can stay on top of at the moment. I don't have the internet at home, so I rely on my mother's quiet days at the office once a month or so. We'll see, we'll see.

General User Stats You are on the favorites list of 4 members.You are on the author alert list of 2 members.You have submitted a total of 57 signed reviews.Total words archived : 48,952 words.Average number of words per story : 1,958

Total hits to Profile Page : 171

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing

Favorite Quotes (that I've used in something of mine):

-I only aim high because I'm short.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Clockwork Express by Alexandra Burton reviews
There are five hundred tickets to escape the apocalypse. What will you do if you don't get one? Rated because I'm paranoid. CURRENTLY ON HIATUS.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,304 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 9/13/2010
Crazy is What Crazy do by clarity-eatworld reviews
WARNING: May make you laugh to death - no refunds. The funny moments between my friends and I, together for your enjoyment. Contains random moments, Killer Sheep, cupboards, and llamas...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 18,184 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 8/29/2009 - Complete
An Atheist's Conversations with God by comedyzombie reviews
These are the kind of conversations I would have with god as an atheist. I'm 99% sure you'll laugh, but if you don't, then you're clearly more religious than you thought... or just don't like this kind of comedy. Either way, I hope you enjoy it!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 10,135 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009
Twilight's Alternate Ending by Fish Stark reviews
Alternate ending to Twilight. Twilight lovers beware, this is a satire and I HATE TWILIGHT.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Complete
Men Shopping by Take a Drink My Love reviews
Got this in an email, thought y'all would like a laugh. Guys and shopping don't mix...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 477 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Complete
HIM&ME by oHriginal reviews
a collection of funny conversations I have had with many HIM'S of the country.. I'm 99% sure you will laugh!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 64 - Words: 4,428 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 4/17/2009
Stalker by dancingpaws reviews
How it feels, surprising ending :
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Complete
Mummy, by dancingpaws reviews
The lies we tell our kids. R&R!
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 221 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Complete
Flirting With the Angels by peterbazooca reviews
...and pusing the button that says "Danger, do not push"
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Complete
That feeling by dancingpaws reviews
For those of you with rude minds its NOT what you think it is! :P Others, carry on :
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/4/2009 - Complete
Therapy gone wrong by a.brief.dalliance reviews
I'm a therapist. You know how people always say it's a dangerous professions? Like how you can get killed by the mentally unstable people you counsel? Well that's what happened to me.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/27/2009 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Complete
Microwave Popcorn by dancingpaws reviews
This actually happened to me! R&R! xx
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 38 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Complete
Night Sky by HistoryLover reviews
It's such a great thing to see the night sky; it's mysterious and alluring.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Complete
Thoughts on the Remainder of a Math Class by Sence reviews
Thoughts on the Remainder of a Math Class Currently Covering What I already know and/or Don't care about.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Complete
The Only 'Story' Here by Invalid Account reviews
So, as you can tell I have sort of abandoned this account...
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/13/2009 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Complete
Don't Drink The Coolaid by sarcasticism reviews
unless you want to wake up in a pool of your own vomit, I suggest you don't drink it.... give me a reason to live and give feedback plz
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 45,918 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 4/30/2009
Adventures of LimeCat by Lime-Cat reviews
Follow the adventures of the curious Lime-Cat to discover...new lands!
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/20/2009
Thinking of You by SalohcinSilverwing reviews
A dark humor poem I wrote for my poetry project in Creative Writing.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Complete
The Graveyard Shift by Gamblecat reviews
What happens when you try to rob graves.
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/29/2009 - Complete
Chickens the Love of My Life by TanukiHanyouSahana reviews
Well it a random poem since I love chickens, sorry for the bad summary.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Complete
Somewhere Between Insanity and Constipation by Glass Queen reviews
It's called Writer's BLock
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Complete
Fuck It by Raincrow reviews
A funny poem about things in life that are just stupid when you really think about it. Not meant to be taken seriously or to offend the reader. So just enjoy and yes, I'm aware that I'm not the best poet in the world, lol. :
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Complete
The PMS Network by Mimi-kins reviews
My jacked up idea for a TV station
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/9/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Worst Enemy reviews
A horrible tale of a girl whose life was ruined by a boy.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Vines reviews
Nice little poem from the point of view of someone who may be the stalker of a groom of another woman. Interesting poem. Enjoy.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
The Rain reviews
The past is the past for a girl seeing a rainstorm as a past relationship.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
The Emptiness
A supernatural tale of love and tragedy.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
the air is losing power
In a distant world, destruction is just a step away.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Rainbow Wishes reviews
Tragedy from a child's eyes. Very sad story.
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Losing the Lost
Love occurs even when those around the lovers have no idea.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Looming Love reviews
Will a girl get her perfect man or will she have to try harder?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Do you love me?
A woman must decide to stay or go when it comes to her marriage.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
And the storm rages on
A battle written as parts of a storm.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
A piece of paper reviews
A poem about what can happen to a piece of paper.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Chrys the SPy
A gorgeous spy is on the mission. Could she find love during her travels? Rated T to be safe.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,605 - Published: 12/17/2009
No Comment
A tale of worst enemies being paired together. Will they decide to become friends once again or will they learn to accept their differences and move on? Long one-shot. R&R
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,472 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Complete
Harvest Moon reviews
The first season is complete! This is a teenage soap opera with thrills, chills, and drama. Rated T for later episodes. Season Two will be out soon! Review with suggestions/character ideas. For this to continue, I will need your help!
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,796 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/20/2009 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Complete
The Angel reviews
Tragedy in a raw form. Could make you cry, not sure.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Complete
Alone reviews
A poem about war.
Poetry: War - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Complete
The Tortured Child reviews
Dedicated to my friend Becca, this little poem shows why she is indeed a tortured child. R&R
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 214 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Complete
WHERE IS IT! reviews
The search for a usable restroom is a terrible fight for one unlucky office worker. R&R
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Ode to Being Alone reviews
Reasons why I'm alone and proud, and reasons why it's okay to be alone
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 819 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Ode to Mentraul Bleeding reviews
Need I explain this one? Teen because it is not polite.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Ode Series reviews
A series of humorous odes concerning a small, natural part in the lives of everyone on earth: gas/
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Destination Unknown
A fictional carried birthed this humourous work of fiction that could EASILY happen. Enjoy!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 368 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
The Gatekeeper reviews
A serious lesson for teenage pranksters. Will all of them survive?
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,783 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Whenever Darkness Comes
After inheritting her father's farm, a girl also inherits problems of the magical sort. R&R
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,118 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Running
A play-on-verbs where one decision changes everything.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Super Spy!
After choosing the identity of a spy, Elizabeth discovers how even the Witness Protection Program can be dangerous. Sequels soon.
Fiction: Action - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 432 - Published: 7/31/2009
Political Stand
My poem about politics. I don't get onto anyone, so please keep that in ming if you feel the need to send evil messages/reviews
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 323 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Dreamscape reviews
A girl falls into a dream so amazing she wishes she never had to leave. With her wish granted, what consequences await?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,177 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Leave Him Be!
My rant to news channels who can't leave the dead alone, and who annoy the unbiased living! One curse word.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Peasant's Fairytale Come True
A peasant becomes king for a day, but he doesn't have a say! And a dragon appears! Oh dear, oh dear!
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Questions from a Dog reviews
A dog rants in interview format about numerous things done by his owners. R&R
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Elevator Woes reviews
Challenge inside. A woman's reasons to take the stairs.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 479 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Complete
Having a cat is fun reviews
Having a cat is really fun, unless your brother owns a gun'...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Pretty Bird reviews
A pretty bird in nature exiting without a problem....Nope, I was wrong. R&R please
Poetry: Nature - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Uncommon Responses to Common Phrases reviews
Sequel. The bitch in my head's current final outing...well, to you:
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 674 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Uncommon Answers to Common Questions
The bitch in my head is here, so get ready for her outrageous responses. Sequel available.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
A Day in the Life of a Working Woman reviews
A poem that covers the day of a working woman that just can't seem to get into a good grove. Funny if you've been there.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
The Worms Inside Me
Have you ever felt the sensation that something was crawling inside you? The narrator has...and it's enough to drive him mad.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
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