I am my own entity in my world I’ve created for myself. I take refuge in my mind because I know no one will ever come deep to penetrating my thoughts. I put on a mask, and play games with others because I know what others want to see, and expect of me. I walk rocky roads, and swim deep winding rivers, always resurfacing for that last bit of breath I can take in. I’m in the air I breathe, the tears I drink, and the blood I so take life for.

I see everything, and hear nothing. I speak only in tongues, and feel only the softest of punishments. I break to the sight of death, and cry to the bitter temptress of life. I pray on the strong, and feed to the weak. I love all, and all know me as love. I cradle the harsh, and vanquish the hardship. I choke on freedom, and slander the unknowing. I banish the past, drive the dust roads of now, and fly the skies of tomorrow. I dwell in the dark, yet know the light resides close ahead.

I smell of failure, but know I try my best. I resemble a diamond, but sell as brass. I push for the top, even if it’s another’s landing spot. I keep close to others, yet seem so distant. I live in a box, and feel like a king. I lust for the same and deal with the consequences. I’m put on trial, my crime my heart. I swear to no truth because humanity is the biggest lie ever told. I cry, I bleed, I taste, I smell, I feel. What more could you ask for?

Writing is the only thing I feel I'm remotely somewhat good at, it's what I love, it's what I do, and it's what I want my career to one day be made out of and if I'm fortunate enough, maybe even something I write will matter to someone and stick with them. But that's only if I'm lucky.

I do have a few other things that aren't posted here and basically my friends read them. If you would like any of my other stuff (poems, other stories, etc) but I lost a lot of other stuff when my computer crashed :/ I'm currently working on a new story now (which is why I haven't updated here in a while) and I usually send chapter by chapter to my friends that want to read it so let me know if you're interested and I may e-mail it to you.

I'm a pretty nice person, just very shy, I use my Tumblr more than I use any other website and I suck at updating on here. Reviews mean the world so, if you leave one you'll probably make my entire day.

Entry Thirty-four;

Sometimes I feel impossibly stuck, like no matter what I do, I’ll always be here, and things will never get better. And I’ll age with the time, my body caving, decaying, the flesh becoming weak, stale, brittle and thin, but I’ll still be here; in the same place I’ve always been, always looking out, watching everything grow, while I wither away into the nothingness, never getting that chance to bloom, to live.

-18th June 2010