jez twohide bio
 Author has written 30 stories for General, Humor, Love, Family, Nature, Life, Friendship, and School. "We all live in our fantasy and only endure our reality." I'm a 22 year old Brit, I'm obsessive and more than a little twisted. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. After a long hiatus I've decided to start posting again. Anything posted this year has been written this year (or December last year). Hopefully there will be more stuff coming soon, although it'll probably be in fits and starts. Please feel free to let me know where I'm falling down; I always appreciate a constructive review. Here are some links to some of the best and funniest works around: "This is the Great Theatre of Life. Admission is free, but the taxation is mortal. You come when you can, and leave when you must. The show is continuous. Good-night." |
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Hear Me by Rubicon reviews
"This is an adult world, and this is an adult game..."
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/24/2005
Shattered Reflections by Slowly Sinking reviews
Someone told me to look in the mirror. This is what I saw.
Poetry: Family - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 253 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/23/2005 - Complete
Dreaming by Slowly Sinking reviews
Inspired by something a friend of mine when I needed cheering up. The power of friendship.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/15/2005 - Complete
Blood Painted Canvas by Yamadeo reviews
About the breaking of someone's heart, and how they react to it. R&R the favor is always returned.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/7/2005
Styrofoam & Snow by A Perfect Sonnet reviews
My dead step-uncle left me something in his Will several years ago and my father and stepmother sent it to me on Christmas morning. That inspired this, even though I originally wrote this for chapter three of my story "Blood On Our Sneakers." I just reall
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/15/2004
Daddy's Little Girl by Yamadeo reviews
Daddy really loved his little girl...
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 189 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/25/2004
Misdirected by Impressionist reviews
It was a crazy summer. These are more just random thoughts than anything...not much to read, but hey. you'll get over it.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/25/2004
Thief by Rubicon reviews
Pain and love walk hand in hand.
Poetry: Love - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/21/2004
Minor Indiscretions by Rubicon reviews
Snapping under the strain of niceties.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/21/2004
Save Me by LisaCat reviews
This is an older piece that just came to me one day...what it is about I leave to your interpretation...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/10/2004
Rusted Inquiry by Impressionist reviews
You only shatter if you drop, baby doll.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/10/2004
Joy by Sunflower Philosophy reviews
"Why did I never tell her? Why did I never look deep into those beautiful eyes she thinks are so plain, and say to her, 'Joy, you are beautiful" My tribute to one of the most frustrating- and most rewarding- friendships of my life...
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 721 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/4/2004
Torch by Rubicon reviews
We're all rats in a maze, praying to some blind God for guidance.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 254 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/21/2004
The Faulty Morality of Star Trek by Admiral Rupert reviews
I'm a huge Star Trek fan, which only makes the writers' screwed-up moral code even more disappointing.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/12/2004
A Clash of Ideals by Admiral Rupert reviews
A clash of ideals which is sometimes distorted into a flame war between people
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/5/2004
Fairy Wings by Children of the Root reviews
Fluttering fairy wings
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/2/2004
Trigger by Rubicon reviews
Wanderlust is a disease without a cure.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 594 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/29/2004
The Death and Rebirth of a Writer by Admiral Rupert reviews
My personal experience, should anyone care, of a seemingly endless writer's block.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 840 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 13 - Published: 2/27/2004
The Joys of Grr by iluvapplesauce reviews
an ode to grrrr..
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/24/2004
Death by WickedMagic reviews
i wrote this poem when my favorite grandfather died
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/23/2004
Bright Light by LegendaryPunk29 reviews
I dunno bout u, but I personally like this poem. Its pretty well I think. Well y dunt u tell me wat u think bout it eh?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11/2004
couple a poems by pannypunk11 reviews
here are a few of my annoying poems.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/6/2004
The Rose by TiEka Koniku reviews
extremely short, yet holds much power. plz r/r
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/26/2003
Love at First Sight by A.J.Peart reviews
I think the title says it all... okay, maybe only half. It's a poem that essentially describes...itself, I guess, based on the title... get my drift? Yeah, I'm an idiot; I know. Please read/review
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/10/2003
Toast, Gophers, & Chemical F by A Perfect Sonnet reviews
Most of the people in the world have been changed into bubbles. Then there's that darn Bubble Emperor and his Bubble Popping Machine complicating it. So what in Dasani do Toast and Gophers have to do with it? Well, that's only part of what you'll be wonde
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,098 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/13/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Emergency! Poetry!
A series of poems written while travelling on coaches and in a car, once . Mostly just a way to pass the time, as such they're really not worth reading.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,018 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
8:56am
Lost love.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 41 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
Summer Song
Summer evening spent around a bonfire.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
Happy Plan reviews
The best counter to depression, better than any pills , is a group of good friends.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 55 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
Another Untited Poem
Friends don't count for much when they're drunk and high.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 56 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
Establishment
A poem about how much living at college sucks.
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
These Days
A rambling poem about life, love and the need for change.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Complete
Clear Eyes
A sort of nature/life/uplifting poem. Any comments welcome.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Complete
You're Here, Always
Five years on and so close to being out of that big black hole.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Complete
Sitting Cold
This is the first new thing that I’ve written that’s not directly from my own situation emotions since my writer's block broke. Inspiration hit and I jotted it down.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Complete
Pure Eyes
Easy reading. This got me out of writer's block so don't expect much.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Complete
For Seazer
A poem for a dog whom I dearly loved that had to be put down.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Complete
Again reviews
A shopping list.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/17/2005
2 to 1 reviews
This poem always reminds me that we humans can be influenced so easily by the people around us that we don't always notice it until it's too far down the line.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/17/2005
Glass reviews
A view into the wonderful world of drunken behaviour and friendship.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/17/2005
Lost Again reviews
Stupid little poem that I wrote a while ago. I hope you like it more than I do.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/18/2004
Gone reviews
A very small poem about the voices in my head and what they make me do.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/18/2004
When You reviews
A very angsty old piece that mentions suicide :)
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/10/2004
Just Wait
A poem about shock and bad news. This is dedicated to Adrian Pumphrey. May he rot in hell.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Published: 6/10/2004
Back to Reality reviews
This is something that just wrote itself. It's terrible and I know it is. But I felt like torturing you all by putting it here for you to read :)
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 326 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/24/2004
Elemental Dreams reviews
A little poem about dreams and nature.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/17/2004
Float reviews
A strange piece I just came up with. I'm terrible at summaries.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/9/2004
Fear reviews
I little piece.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/6/2004
Faith in Death reviews
A little piece about life death and family.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/5/2003
Ravings of a Madwoman reviews
Angst and love gone wrong.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/5/2003
My Mum reviews
I stupid little poem I wrote for my Mum just coz she's saying she's not going to pay me hardly anything :D
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/20/2003
Hurt reviews
Do you ever wonder that if you could just make it end, would anyone notice you were gone?
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/15/2002
Cazri Wars reviews
A war with yourself
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/27/2002