PeanutButterKnife
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Joined 09-20-09, id: 689999, Profile Updated: 05-16-13
Author has written 3 stories for Romance.

My name is Sammy. I have an unhealthy obsession with John Green books and Kpop.

A Study in Permanence: I mean, I think it's alright.

Of Tight Pants and Pizzas: This is what happens when I stop caring about being realistic. I hope you like it.

I have a tumblr. Feel free to check that out (although fair warning I am a huge fangirl).

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Because Of You by Sam Mariano reviews
After a tragedy that shatters both their families, Nicole Harmon and Derek Noble are raised to despise each other. They finally meet for the first time in high school, and Nicole wants to make peace, but Derek is determined to make her life a living hell.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 120,108 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 11/5/2013 - Published: 9/1/2007 - Complete
Hiring a Hooligan by Deena reviews
Determined to put the fear of God into the racist homophobe who messed up her best friend, mild-mannered Jane Hazelton resorts to hiring a thug to do the job. Trouble is, said thug isn’t interested in money, he’s interested in her. **COMPLETED**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 110,036 - Reviews: 2291 - Favs: 3,206 - Follows: 704 - Updated: 8/23/2013 - Published: 9/3/2005 - Complete
Heart Lotion SPF 20 by Vena Cava reviews
The moment Honey Smith sets foot in South Merritt Academy, she unknowingly becomes the target of an unspoken challenge, setting into motion a self-fulfilling prophecy that will forever change the lives of South Merritt’s Elite Five.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 127,124 - Reviews: 2185 - Favs: 1,649 - Follows: 1,870 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 6/6/2008
Waiting on the World by blak pearl reviews
What do you do when your best friend hooks up with your twin brother and breaks his heart? Pretend to date the guy she likes- the guy you've hated since you've known how to. And hope the cliche doesn't catch up with you. COMPLETE!
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 109,294 - Reviews: 456 - Favs: 731 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 11/18/2007 - Complete
A Life Guide to Prolonging the Inevitable by EruptingFender9 reviews
Video games and comic books are not cool. Charlie Moyer knows this. She doesn't need a constant reminder—especially from her worst enemy. But when she comes back five years later without the glasses and braces, Shane Griffith is first on her list.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 48,089 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 2/13/2012 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Complete
Girls, Boys, and Other Enigmas by Miss Haps reviews
ONESHOT. "Your mom wants me to impregnate you?" I pause. "Yes," I answer honestly. "She thinks you're dreamy and has deemed you well equipped for the job." Kent laughs. "Well that's true. I think I can be pretty sufficient in that area of service."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,526 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 472 - Follows: 30 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Complete
The Story You Shouldn't Know by Bingo reviews
/Perfection does not make allowances. Perfection doesn't weaken. And Anna would./ Anna's life is pleasant enough, until she meets Josh. He's charming, smart, and knows everything about everyone. Unfortunately, he's also very, very evil.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 187,518 - Reviews: 986 - Favs: 521 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 3/3/2009 - Complete
Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3030 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
A Cold War by coalhouse reviews
Oneshot. Bombs were falling. That's how Adam Oakley knew he wasn't awake. /light slash
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,465 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/5/2011 - Complete
Baby, I'm Not Finished by xoxluurve reviews
Maybe my eyes were directed at him too intently. But I wasn't stalking. Really. He didn't seem to agree with me.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 138,903 - Reviews: 2827 - Favs: 1,986 - Follows: 1,272 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 4/28/2008 - Complete
Third Wheelish by Miss Haps reviews
ONESHOT. "So...you ever feel third-wheelish around them?" "Just a bit, yeah." "Do you want to feel third-wheelish together?" "...Wouldn't that just make us a separate pair of wheels?" He smiles, "Exactly."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,659 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Complete
Broken Telephone by Penelope P reviews
She didn't know him, and he didn't know her. A coincidence of cosmic proportions had brought them together, over the phone. Nothing personal that was the rule. “So our siblings are getting married.” He said thoughtfully.“Obviously not to each other.”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 32,626 - Reviews: 530 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 476 - Updated: 9/30/2010 - Published: 10/8/2009
Insert Catchy Title Here by She Had Somewhere To Go reviews
I used to have a corny summary for a make believe story to lure people to read this. This is not, in fact, fiction. It is a commentary on the quality of the stories on this site...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,110 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Complete
Chasing Mr Darcy by Vena Cava reviews
(One-Shot) Once upon a time, we met. And for me, that was happily ever after.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,699 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 33 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Complete
In The Cookie Jar by productofdreams reviews
-which is where my hand is at the moment. That is, if the Cookie Jar is the school's notorious bad boy's back pocket with the whole school watching on. "What do you think you're doing?" "Er..." oneshot
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,932 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 928 - Follows: 56 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Complete
The Rabbit Hole by Penelope P reviews
When a riddle from her dead father comes in the mail, Alice Ripley learns that things like pirates, secret passages, skeleton keys, and bad guys who just might want to take over the world actually exist. Wonderland wasn't exactly what she expected.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 163,955 - Reviews: 961 - Favs: 818 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Complete
Blue Eyes by dear-llama reviews
One-shot. "What's wrong?" Before I knew it, he had placed himself squarely in my path. And – dare I say it – he actually sounded a little angry and hurt. "Why are you not stalking me anymore?"
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,413 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 720 - Follows: 28 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Complete
My Meaningless Existence at a Frozen Yogurt Shop by the milk bottle reviews
ONE-SHOT. It was on that day that I began my downward spiral of meaningless sex, alcoholism, violence, and… okay, not really. But it felt close to something like that.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 629 - Follows: 38 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Complete
The Bubblegum Fairy and The Bad Boy by G0bSmackt reviews
Even if it was cliché, the too good girl finally tamed the too bad boy. It had taken a bubblegum chewing fairy to find his heart and all he wanted to do now was be worthy. And all she wanted to do was be his. SKoW Member Challenge - Bubblegum
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,143 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 739 - Follows: 65 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Complete
The Inexplicable State of Being There by big.break.and.laryngitis reviews
Brody Hansen and I, we had a system. I didn't like him and he didn't like me, but we both liked watching each other undress. That's just what happened when you gave good-looking, hormonal teenagers bedroom windows that faced each other. Full sum inside.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 78,144 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 1,360 - Follows: 592 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
Badasses Don't Walk on Sunshine by Emedea reviews
“Who are you? God?” I demand. “Maybe I am. And with the way you’ve been treating me, well, you’re going to hell, buddy,” she says indignantly. “Yeah,” I sneer. “I’m sure that God definitely goes around kicking third graders in the balls."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,357 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 21 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Complete
Serenading Selina Sorrentino by Vena Cava reviews
(One-Shot) "You want to be with me, just as much, if not more than I want to be with you." A flicker of something passed over her expression. "I'll get over it."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,709 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 743 - Follows: 44 - Published: 7/12/2009 - Complete
Luciology by skankasaurus reviews
“Um, hello,” I said weakly, and I didn't fail to notice the way he was alternating his stares between me and the fish. “It's nice to meet you.” “...Were you just talking to your fish?”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,137 - Reviews: 474 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 496 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 11/22/2007
Picture Perfect by candii-apple reviews
How to win over the girl of your dreams: have her catch you wearing nothing but a pair of hot pink, Disney Princess patterned boxers, attempting to photocopy your ass. Humilating? You have no idea. ONESHOT
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,353 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Complete
Forever by renegade01 reviews
Forever is a long time," he told me. "Are you willing to wait?" "Are you?" I countered. "No," he paused. "I'd wait longer." I hated him then.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,579 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Complete
Rough Petals by Penelope P reviews
So was it a really big deal that I was getting paid for sex? It was a huge misunderstanding. And so what if that letter finally arrived which made my stomach roll. I would have handled it. It's his fault he made my life even more complicated.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 105,873 - Reviews: 1099 - Favs: 954 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Complete
Love Surveys Are For Desperate Romantics by artofjula reviews
“Would you go on a date with me, Shea O’Connor?” “No.” His face fell. “Yes.” He raised a brow. “Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.” She inhaled sharply. “I like bananas.” ONESHOT
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,759 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Complete
The Love Doctor by candii-apple reviews
One plus one equals two. Yellow plus blue equals green. Two crazy in love best friends equals the cutest couple ever. But one surly Mr. I-don't-believe-in-happy-endings, plus one slightly insane Little Miss Matchmaker? Not even Newton can find an answer.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,327 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 817 - Follows: 44 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Complete
DELICIOUS by iBrandi reviews
“I’ll sell my body, I don’t know.” He ate another cookie. “THIS IS SO GOOD. I want to have epic sex with your baking skills.” An instructional guide on how to snare males in the trap of awesome cooking.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,788 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 1,106 - Follows: 80 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
Of Necks and Hickeys by Ravina reviews
ONE-SHOT! "OH MY GOD!" I shouted. "What? What's wrong?" he demanded, appearing at my side. "You...you...youyouyou..." I sputtered. "YOU GAVE ME A HICKEY!" "Really? Let's see it." Riordan tilted my chin up. "It looks pretty good actually," he said smugly.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 421 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/25/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Complete
The Way to a Man's Heart is Clearly Food Analogies by DevonnyAuriel reviews
Oneshot. Belle's surefire ways to get a guy: 1, Write his name on your hand. 2, Lure him in with jelly beans. If it works for kids, it works for men. And 3, recite your many witty food analogies. He won't be able to resist.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,131 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 732 - Follows: 44 - Published: 10/29/2008 - Complete
Unfinished Business by Maeven reviews
Kaetlyn Worthing died in what can be quaintly termed as a freak accident. As a wandering ghost, invisible to the world, she pours her heart out to a man with the most intense, hazel eyes. Problem? He's a 'ghostbuster'.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,574 - Reviews: 905 - Favs: 660 - Follows: 479 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 10/24/2003
How I Became a Teenage Voyeur by candid reviews
How do you snag the hot senior's attention? Easy. Sneak up on him in the boy's locker room. One shot!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,578 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 48 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Complete
Losing Isn't All That Bad by EruptingFender9 reviews
So that’s how it happened. I lost the bet, and now he had to know. The guy I had never ever talked to a day in my life had to find out that I liked him. This was bound to be awkward.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,109 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/19/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Complete
Saying Goodbye by hotcheri reviews
Stacie's best friend Ryan is leaving for University and Stacie has to decide if she should tell him how she feels about him or let him go.... Oneshot
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,113 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/14/2007 - Published: 10/30/2007 - Complete
Get Mad, Baby by DevonnyAuriel reviews
Oneshot. Sometimes being a scorned woman is an incredible turnon. At least to a guy who's been in and out of anger management.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,399 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 49 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Complete
Ode to Paperclip Man by DiaRose reviews
I was bored and he was bugging me, so I wrote this poem for pure silliness! You'll appreciate this if you write with Mircrosoft Word.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/28/2007 - Complete
Happytown by bunny slippers reviews
[fin] Desperate to get away from her overprotective parents for the summer, Siam takes a tutoring job on the outskirts of Happytown. Her student? An unhinged eight and a half year old boy who eats way too many cookies [Collab: BleedingAir and Hotkitty]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,560 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 7/6/2007 - Published: 1/11/2007
Noise by i call it laughable reviews
don't compare me.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Complete
Good Girls Don't Play with Fire by adio kalinihta reviews
Reese was a good girl. Conscientious, effective, and thorough. Everything in her life was planned perfectly, except for a little infatuation with a certain arrogant brat named Cole Roderick. Oneshot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,527 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 561 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/30/2006 - Complete
Daisygirl by i call it laughable reviews
confidence in anorexia.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 47 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/21/2006
Creatures of the Night: The Miami WereBat by Tessandra reviews
"So - you're a vampire." "No, I'm a were-bat. What is wrong with you people? Does everything with wings have to be a bloody, arrogant, vamp" The romance of a fascinated young girl and an irritated were-bat. One Shot.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,146 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/11/2006 - Published: 12/3/2005
snowman by Hotkitty reviews
four kids .and.w.e.w.a.n.t.e.d.t.o.b.u.i.l.d.a.s.n.o.w.m.a.n. An eye for an eye...and the whole world goes blind andtheysayabsolutelyeveryone deserves a second chance. b.e.c.a.u.s.e.t.h.e.sn.o.w.i.s.j.u.s.t.s.o.p.r.e.t.t.y...
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/24/2006 - Complete
You Should Be Shot by i call it laughable reviews
what really goes on in the darkroom during photography class.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 18 - Published: 1/12/2006
I am not a banana by sarcasm-in-the-making reviews
an argument for the sake of rohpatems, the opposite of metaphors
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,237 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/29/2005
My Mathematical Mind by Shampoo Suicide reviews
And, my god, who just bursts in on someone like that. I could've been masturbating. Trigonometry, guitars, and bringing about the apocalypse or something close to it.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,688 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/15/2005 - Complete
Identity Disturbance by Shampoo Suicide reviews
Ivy's adventures in personality disorders, anorexic best friends, closeted gay boys, dysfunction and all around awesomeness.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 30,913 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 5/30/2005 - Published: 3/3/2004
You're Too Wonderful to Die by Shampoo Suicide reviews
I've recently become aware of the fact that I no longer hate the number nine.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,472 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/6/2005 - Complete
And, Well, I Think That I'm Sick by Aloysha reviews
Hell is an office building run by Luci, Heaven is really a health spa run by G, and Solis is a spawn of Satan who can’t do anything right, who starts a Holy War over Curtis, a cute but indifferent, mortal. (Slash)
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,347 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/11/2004
Maybe I Should Hate You For This by Shampoo Suicide reviews
She pulled away at a nail with a rough yank from her teeth, bringing skin with it. She licked away the blood that'd begun to pool, and pondered shaving her hair off...
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,664 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/8/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Swag, Swag, Swag On You reviews
"Mission Name: My Milkshakes Bring All The Boys to the Yard (also known as M.M.B.A.T.B.T.Y. for short) Primary Objective: Basically to bring all the boys to the yard. With my milkshakes." ONESHOT. SLASH.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,159 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/14/2013 - Complete
Of Tight Pants and Pizzas reviews
Elena has always had a knack for existential crises. When "taking a year off school" turns into "I don't want to go to college", she finds herself in a haze of anxiety, working as a pizza delivery girl. Luke Young is a member of the increasingly-popular boy band TruStory. He's also Elena's epic high school super crush. Several embarrassing incidents later, the two meet again.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 29,048 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 6/25/2013 - Published: 12/15/2012
A Study in Permanence reviews
"Hattie," he said, chuckling. "More like hottie." He tried to wink at me, but couldn't quite pull it off in his inebriated state. Oh my God. "That's the worst line I've ever heard anyone say ever," I blurted. "Oh my God." His laughter only increased until he was gasping for breath, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You liked it," he accused.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,457 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Complete