-DO NOT PLAGAIRIZE ANY OF MY STORIES. I WORKED, AND AM WORKING, VERY HARD ON THEM, AND THEY TAKE UP A LOT OF MY TIME. THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME AND I'LL BE EXTREMELY PISSED IF I FIND OUT ANYONE HAS BEEN STEALING MY HARD WORK.

YOU WANT A STORY? FINE, GO AHEAD AND WRITE ONE YOURSELF. THE AUTHORS ON THIS SITE ARE NOT HERE FOR YOU TO LEECH OFF OF. SO PLEASE, IF YOU ARE, OR ARE THINKING OF STEALING MY WORK, KINDLY FUCK OFF AND GET A LIFE.

Hi, everyone!

about me:

-my name is Erin, and im 16 :D

- i absolutely love all animals and food.

-despite my insane love of food, i am not fat, which is weird s:

-i want a chinchilla.

-the best movies i've ever seen are: The Guardian, Push, The Knowing, Jumper, AND The Time-Traveller's Wife(its awesome..watch it!!).

-Tim Burton rocks.

-I have NO idea why everyone thinks Brad Pitt is hot-i just dont see it.

-i write songs in my spare time whenever i get the inspiration, and all i know now is that i REALLY need to buy a guitar sometime soon.

:P

i am a very random, but happy person who lives in a small town in the middle of nowhere. im somewhat goth, and i love making brownies and i spend most of my weekends and hours after school reading on this site. yes, some of you may say, 'wow, this person needs to get a life.' ...and, yeah, you may be right. but, thats beside the point. i love surfing youtube and chatting with my friends. i LOVE french fries and ice cream of any flavour, cookies, and pizza. i also watch TVO Kids on a regular basis. (cuz hey, when you're without satellite or cable, there's only so many things you can watch. Besides, Arthur's awesome!)

i live by my quote, 'randomness is happiness'-to me, life is best when you're just being yourself.

i loathe miley cyrus, barbie, barney, the teletubbies, garden gnomes, and people who think gay, lesbian, or bi people are a lower life form than the rest of us/:

(and, if youre wondering, yes, i am straight.)...and, thats about it :D

-Feel free to read and review my stories, i will happily read any comments or constructive criticism. But if you have any hate mail youre willing to send, just dont. if you dont like my stories, then move on-no one likes to have their hard work being made fun of just because it doesnt meet your own particular standards. there are plenty of amazing writers on this site, youre bound to find something you will love.

ok, here's something one of my friends posted as a note on facebook and i thought it was cool, so im gonna post my own version on here for fun :D

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, mp3 player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Chemical Kids and Mechanical Brides-Pierce the Veil

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Wake Up-The Dangerous Summer



WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

This Is the Sound-The Last Goodnight

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Cupid's Chokehold-Gym Class Heroes

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
In the End-Linkin' Park

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Between the Lines-Evermore

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I'm Only me When I'm With You-Taylor Swift

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Heart Of Gold-Neil Young

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
xoxo-nickasaur!

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Dinner At the Money Table-The Early November

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Relax Relapse-Panic! At the Disco

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
By Your Side-Faber Drive

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Finally-The Frames

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Newcomer Of Seven Years-PlayRadioPlay!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Want You To Want Me-Avril Lavigne

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Whoa-We The Kings

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Recycled Air-The Postal Service

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Break the Ice-Britney Spears

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Better Way-Brighten

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Holly Would You Turn Me On-All-Time Low

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Matters at All-Kids In Glass Houses

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Hit the Lights-All-Time Low

Isn't it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a a mini with a t-shirt that barely covers anything? Isn't it funny that you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful? Isn't it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone

Are you laughing?

Isn't it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? Isn't it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

It's so funny that you and your friends can make a girl's life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. Isn't it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.
HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO", OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS?

Keep on laughing.

Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life?

without knowing her situation with her friends?

or her family?

or her LIFE?

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING,
BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH
OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND;
BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES.
IT'S LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT.
IT'S GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET.

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMORROW ISN'T A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE
ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS

Keep on laughing.

If you didn't laugh at this then post this on your profile so others know how you feel about discrimination. Remember, EVERYONE is different. If you have the nerve to make fun of one person, you might as well be making fun of everyone who walks this earth.

To Every Girl:

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again, because she has been HURT too many times or so badly.

To every girl that has been cheated on, because she's not a slut who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky.

To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart broken, because he chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once like to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that won't get down on her knees open her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just once want a guy to give their jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought "maybe this one could be the one."

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

To every girl who is just looking for that one and only. and is having a rough time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.

To every girl who wants words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face. never again

To every girl that has faith that "tomorrow will be a better day." And it will be.

If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To every girl."

()()
(0.0)
(_)
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) :D

Abortion.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.

MY FAVOURITE SINGERS/BANDS

(not like anyone cares, but whatever (: )

The Maine

The Summer Set

NeverShoutNever!

A Rocket To The Moon

Avril Lavigne

All Time Low

Panic! At The Disco

We The Kings

Taking Back Sunday

Plain White T's

Taylor Swift

The Fray

Green Day

Linkin' Park

Paramore

Fall Out Boy

...and a bunch of others!

:P

i read books on a regular basis and have a strange obsession with chocolate chip cookies. i am single, enjoying it, and am not looking for love. when i have homework, i usually completely forget about it because i'm too busy reading stories on fictionpress.com. i love brownies. music is my life, i wouldn't be able to live without it. i have a few close friends rather than dozens of random people who label themselves my friend. halloween is one of my favourite holidays of the entire year. i have witnessed the workings of a magnifying glass burning a piece of wood. i have never skiied before, nor do i even want to think about trying. i plan on learning how to snowboard and play guitar in the near future. i have a picture of a llamma-horse one of my friends drew in art class. apparently it was supposed to be a deer. i beg to differ. it is now hanging on my wall. i still wonder how on earth she managed to draw it, i wouldn't be able to if i had a million years to try. i want to be a werewolf. my dog is awesome(: there is a tree outside my window. i think coke is WAY better than pepsi any day. i often wonder; if God created the world, then what created god? i love movies! ..TREES! most of my friends are guys. :D i, N1ght-0wl, am/are weird, quirky, random, and one-of-a-kind person according to some people. if you are weird and quirky like me, and not afraid to show it, and want the whole world to know it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine. LONG LIVE AWESOME, WEIRD, QUIRKY, ONE-OF-A-KIND PEOPLE!!

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
Was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
Unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

Am I pretty enough now?:

Boy: what?

Girl: I really like you, and I...I think I'm falling in love with you...

Boy: Okay...

Girl: What do you mean "okay"?

Boy: I don't like you like that...

Girl: Why not?

Boy: I can't tell you...maybe another time...

From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "why not" whenever she saw him, and kept saying the same answer "I'll tell you later."Finally the girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!

Boy: do you really wanna know?

Girl: Yes!

Boy: It's because you're ugly as fuck! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!

Girl: But...I...

Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings .

Girl: Hello?

Mom: Sweetheart? i want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.

Girl: Alright mom.

Mom: i love you.

Girl: I love you too mom.

Mom:Bye Bye.

Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough...

She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do.

2 hours later, her mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to see the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door...

Mom: Honey? are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at the site. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside and screamed. There her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists.

Her mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye. On the mirror...'Am I pretty enough now?'

Nobody deserves to be told that by someone they love.

If you find this messed up copy&paste this into your profile.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, xXKatieCullenX, Bby-Leyla-Vamp, Shiny-silver-volvo-stalker, MegTheVampire, Crimson Love20, Scarlet Dawn, N1ght-0wl, Queenoflove

is is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!

-statistics show that 98 of teenagers will experiment with alcohol or cigarettes. Copy and paste this into your profile if you like bagels.

-Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

-If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile

-If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

-If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P

-Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

-If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

-98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

-If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(Try 450 pg + book in less then one day)For some reason i don't think i should be proud of that.

-If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.

-92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

-I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! If you enjoy being insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

-If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

-If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile

-If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

-If you've ever pushed on a door that said 'pull' or the other way around, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area, put this in your profile.

If people don't like you...just remember-that's their problem, not yours.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (I do this often!)

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. (I think that's quite obvious!!)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. (I do all this AND MORE!!)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (It'll happen any day now tho!)

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

-If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile(yes well ...umm...i forgot.)

-93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

-If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

-If you seriously want to be a werewolf copy this into your profile.

-99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends,relationsips,etc. post this onto your profile.(That's right, i'm half a person!!)

-If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

-If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

-If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

-If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

-If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

-Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

A girl and a guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road...

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, you're really scaring me!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(In the paper the next day)

A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes went out, but he didn't want to let the girl know.
Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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thanks(: