John Westcott
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Joined 02-09-00, id: 6995, Profile Updated: 12-21-13
Author has written 12 stories for Sci-Fi, Action, Western, Kids, and Essay.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm known to millions of TV viewers worldwide as 'The Young Genghis Khan ' on the FOX sitcom, 'Talk To The Hand', also starring Andy Dick (as William Shakespeare), Macho Man Randy Savage (as His Holiness, Pope Gregory VI) and Carmen Elektra (as Fred, the incredibly effeminate bartender who always manages to end up topless), also starring Gef, The Talking Mongoose (as 'the voice of reason'). Together, we solve crimes. Check your local listings.

My hobbies include molesting chocolate cake when it's not looking, splitting the atom, finding the cure for all known diseases, building orbital space stations, designing major cathedrals, averting world war III (can't be bad), fighting crime and, of course, learning to read.

My movie credits include: Pepsi: The Anti-Christ (co-starring Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Jane Seymore and Michael Jackson), Death On 142, 571 Legs: The Mutant Killer Centipede Story (co-starring John Wayne and Ronald McDonald), Mollusks In Heat IV (co-starring Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy) and my Oscar nominated film, Your Lemur And You: A Guide To Cross-Species Love Affairs (co-starring Oscar Wilde and William Shatner).

If you care to venture forth and read my works, thank you. I welcome all comments, good and bad, as long as they're constructive. I have a pretty thick skin about reader comments and am always looking to improve on my own work, so any insight is welcomed. The worst thing I might do if you say something negative about my work is hunt you down and chain you to a mountain of cooked steak in a bear infested forest. And really, would that be so bad?

Currently I'm working on several novels regularly here at fictionpress:

IN PROGRESS:

Paladin - The Knight Errant: Action/Adventure/Romance - CHAPTER 24 ADDED AS OF DECEMBER 2013! Expelled from The Order of the Griffin for daring to defy his orders and attempt to save the lives of Amber Sue and her sister Tiara from highwaymen and timber wolves, Liam Alexander now acts as a vigilante on the lawless valley road, saving the lives of innocents on his own terms, as he had sworn to do. But when fate brings Liam - now known only as Paladin - back into the life of Amber Sue from Crystal Meadow, he realizes that she is betrothed, against her will, to marry Lord Francis Carlyle AKA Satan's Scion. Can Amber come to terms with this man who failed to save her sister, a man she both loves and hates? She'd better, because only together can they destroy Carlyle forever.

Centurion: Action/Adventure/Suspense - CHAPTER NINE ADDED AS OF AUGUST 2009! Daniel Kirby lives a perfectly boring, mediocre life as a call center employee who eats lunch alone and has no friends. He is drowning in a sea of regret and lost opportunities that can all be traced back to the death of his only true love, Caroline. As he stands in his bathroom, shaving for work one morning, a magician known as 'Mr. Magus' suddenly appears in Kirby's bathroom surrounded by smoke and fire, informing him that in an alternate reality, Kirby's girlfriend lived and he became the superhero known as 'Centurion', only the Daniel Kirby from his reality died in a bomb blast while saving hundreds of innocent lives. Now, Mr. Magus wants to bring this Daniel Kirby back to his reality to take the place of his fallen alternate self. We've all hated our lives at one point or another. What would you if someone offered you a chance to live your dreams? For Kirby there's no choice to be made when he finds out that Caroline is alive in this alternate universe, and must learn to become a hero while defeating the plans of Mars: The God Of War, and his minions, Phobos, Deimos and The Visigoths.

Robert The Devil: Action/Supernatural/Adventure - CHAPTER SIX ADDED AS OF APRIL, 2009! Based on the Wikipedia entry for 'Robert The Devil': "Once there was a woman who, unable to conceive a child and, getting no help from her prayers to Heaven, laid down with the Devil and was finally able to bear a son. From the moment of his birth the boy shows his vicious instincts, which urge him, when grown to manhood, to a career of monstrous crime. At last the horror which he inspires everywhere causes him to reflect, and, having found out the awful secret of his birth, he hastens to Rome to confess to the pope. He undergoes the most rigorous penance, living in the disguise of a fool at the emperor's court in Rome. Three times he delivers the city from the assault of the Saracens, but, refusing all reward, he ends his life as a pious hermit. According to another version he marries the emperor's daughter, whose love he has won in his humble disguise, and succeeds to the throne." This tale is an updated and re-imagined version of the Robert The Devil legend, told in modern times and set in Los Angeles. It has influences including Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' and the movie 'The Highlander'. It has all the action elements you're used to from me, but has a new supernatural element I've never played with before.

Centurion: Secret Files: Action/Adventure - CHAPTER ONE ADDED AS OF AUGUST 2009! Modeled after DC s Whos Who series, this is a series of top secret databank entries detailing the powers, abilities and histories of the lead characters heroes and villains in my ongoing novel, Centurion . First entry: Centurion.

COMPLETED NOVELS:

Den Of Thieves: Action/Adventure/Suspense - NOW COMPLETE! - The story of a mutant thief in the year 2043, a time when America is a fascist state and big brother controls and watches everyone. Oliver Reed is 'The Wraith', and working for 'The Cabal', which is led by the world's most powerful villain: Malevolence. Reed wants to replace Malevolence as the head of the criminal organization but that won't be easy until he finds out the secrets of his opponent's powers. As if that wasn't enough to deal with, he also has to deal with his world's 'superheroes', all of whom work for the government and enforce the fascist status quo (you'll see many Marvel and DC archetypes acting as the heroes), while being hunted by a DOD (Department Of Defense) task force led by a Gregory Newcastle III, a man who lost both arms in a battle with The Wraith many years ago. Think of this story as a comic book inspired novel, only from the villain's point of view. It's inspirations include The Watchmen, V For Vendetta, The X-Men, Batman, George Orwell's 1984, The Roots Of Evil (by Ervin Staub), Sleeper (by Ed Brubaker), Sun Tzu's Art Of War and most every spy movie I've ever seen.

Angelwing: Action/Adventure/Western - NOW COMPLETE! - Max Rossiter is a former U.S. Marshall who became disgusted and frightened with his animalistic side after seeking and gaining revenge on the men who killed his family. In search of answers, he fled to Japan and befriended an aging Samurai called Hiroshi, who taught him the ways of Bushido. Now that he's returned to America after ten years, Rossiter becomes embroiled in a battle with Damian Durrant, the man who runs the town of Angelwing (though the town's occupants call it 'The Devil's Claw'). Durrant runs the town as a slave camp, shanghaiing and tricking his captors into coming to his town, a town from which they'll never leave. Durrant's goal is to find the remains of the true cross that Jesus was crucified upon, which he believes is hidden in the American frontier. Durrant hopes at first to seduce Rossiter to his side, but things don't go the way he planned, and soon the two men and all of Durrant's thugs are embroiled in constant battle. This novel is inspired by many western movies I've enjoyed, especially the Clint Eastwood 'Dollars Trilogy' and far too many martial arts films to name here.

There are a few other short stories and snippets here, including three poem/songs written for my cat entitled 'Cat In The Closet', 'The Cat Who Lost His Meow', and 'Big, Giant Cat' (completing the "Riley" trilogy of stories), 'Templar' (more an idea than an actual novel at the moment), 'I Am Time Magazine's Person Of The Year' (an opinion piece) and 'Pioneer', a short vignette written many years ago.

Hope you enjoy it.

WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING:

Here are some completely unsolicited reviews of my works so far:

"Happiness is catching a Marlin off the Key West coast... and reading Den Of Thieves."- Ernest Hemingway

"I like his stories on a boat, beside a goat or on a float." - Dr. Seuss

"Ce gars gouverne mon monde!" ("This guy rules my world!") - Leo Tolstoy.

"John Westcott's Paladin is the one story to rule them all, and in the darkness, bind them!" - J. R. R. Tolkien

"I thought Tarzan was the ultimate male... until I read Max Rossiter in Angelwing! Everything else is just monkey poop!" - Edgar Rice Burroughs

"By jove, this Westcott chap tells a ripping good yarn! It's anything but elementary!" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

"Centurion strikes fear in the superstitious and cowardly lot known as criminals." - Bob Kane

"We agree that Centurion can only go in one direction... up, up and away, to the best seller list." - Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

"I shouldn't bless this work, but I can't put it down! I must know how Robert The Devil ends!" - Pope Innocent X

Westcott's 'Paladin: The Knight Errant' is the once and future king of stories!" - T.H. White

Westcott's writing is double plus good!" - George Orwell

"I'm not dead yet! You can't make up a quote from me or I'll sue you!" - George R. R. Martin


LEGAL WARNING AHEAD!

I have recently had an issue with someone stealing one of my novels and selling it on the internet while pretending that they are the actual author. Be assured that I have all my story ideas properly copyrighted and will slap a cease and desist order from my lawyer on anyone who attempts to steal them, as I did with the previous author who attempted such thievery. I do NOT post my material on the internet without taking steps to protect my copyright. Anyone looking to steal these stories would be best advised to look elsewhere. I have a lawyer (http://www.lillingtonlawyers.com/) and the proper documents to back me up. Unless you enjoy being sued, do NOT steal these stories. You will be caught and I will take legal action.

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A History of Superheroes by Silver Phantom 2 reviews
New York City. 2000. Amidst a dramatic Presidential campaign, a villain appears to undo the good of society. A league of masked vigilantes will do whatever it takes to stop him.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,872 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/17/2009 - Published: 3/1/2009
The Leper of Parthis by C. Hinton reviews
In the city of Parthis no man's life is sacred. When Alajahera loses her lover to an assassin's blade she decides the only thing to do is hire Elar herself. But Alajahera isn't the only one with plans. To get her revenge she must first help Elar with his
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,964 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Complete
Bermuda by T-Unit reviews
A politician is assassinated and a country is gripped in civil war. Nobody knows who is responsible, until a simple cover up is linked to an organisation which infects and influences governments and politicans across the globe. It is known only as Bermuda
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,969 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/24/2008 - Published: 6/22/2008
The Irregulars by Dante Evil reviews
A bizarre catastrophe depowers every superhuman on earth. 20 years later, a former superhero, a young gay journalist, a spoiled socialite, and an atheist Iraqi find themselves banding together to investigate the sudden appearance of strange new superhero.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,859 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/5/2008 - Published: 8/2/2008
The Fastest Blade in the West by Michael Panush reviews
Clark Reeper, steely gunman of the Clark Reeper Tales, and Max Rossiter, Blue-Eyed Samurai of the epic Angelwing, team up in an amazing adventure of blasting lead and ringing steel, that will pit them against pirates, Japanese demons and more.
Fiction: Western - Rated: K+ - English - Western/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,723 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 3/25/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Paladin: The Knight Errant reviews
Expelled from The Order Of The Griffin, Liam Alexander protects the road between Carnarvon and Bridgeport. He is known only as Paladin except by Amber Sue, a woman who both hates and loves him. Together only they can destroy Francis Carlyle, Satan's Scion
Fiction: Action - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 320,906 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/15/2013 - Published: 12/18/2010
Centurion Secret Files reviews
Modeled after DC s Who s Who series, this is a series of top secret databank entries detailing the powers, abilities and histories of the lead characters heroes and villains in my ongoing novel, Centurion . First entry: Centurion.
Fiction: Action - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,708 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/11/2009
Centurion reviews
In an alternate reality, Daniel Kirby is Centurion, but in our world he lives a life of mediocrity. Now, a hero known as 'Mr. Magus' suddenly appears in Kirby's apartment and informs him that he is needed to take the place of his fallen alternate self.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 93,831 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 2/28/2008
Big, Giant Cat reviews
The final entry in my "Riley" series of short stories/songs/poems for children, all inspired by my cat, Riley. This accompanies my other entries, "Cat In The Closet" and "The Cat Who Lost His Meow". This can be read or sung as a song. Imagine a funky beat
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 560 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Complete
Robert The Devil reviews
Once there was a woman who, unable to conceive a child and, getting no help from her prayers to Heaven, laid down with the Devil and was finally able to bear a son. Wikipedia calls him 'Robert The Devil'... and this is his story.
Fiction: Action - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 56,480 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/18/2009 - Published: 4/14/2008
The Cat Who Lost His Meow reviews
There once was a cat who lost his 'meow'. Will he get it back? And if so, how?
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Complete
Den Of Thieves reviews
In the year 2043, Oliver Reed is a master thief working for The Cabal. In a world where big brother controls the state and heroes enforce the status quo, his goal is to wrest control of the organization from Malevolence, the world's most powerful villain.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 197,215 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 3/16/2006 - Complete
Angelwing reviews
Max Rossiter has stumbled across a town that appears on no map. Some call it 'Angelwing'. Others call it 'Devil's Claw'. Is the former U.S. Marshall destined to play a vital part in the search for the greatest religious icon in history?
Fiction: Western - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 12 - Words: 84,187 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/2/2008 - Published: 4/3/2006 - Complete
TEMPLAR reviews
Where once they were many, now there is one. Alexander Jack Monaghan is the only remaining Templar Knight, and he alone is charged with the protection of the Priory and their secrets.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/21/2006
I am Time Magazine's Person Of The Year! reviews
I'd like to thank the academy...
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 725 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/19/2006 - Complete
Cat In The Closet reviews
There's a cat in the closet and he won't go away. We might as well just ask him to stay. Music and art coming soon!
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 725 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/14/2006 - Complete
Pioneer reviews
A short 'what if' story about an alien race discovering the Pioneer space probe.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,661 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/10/2000 - Complete