as of July 2014: I plan on reviving this page sometime. At a point in my life these words were all I had so as bad as some of this crap is... I plan on keeping it up here and writing more. Working on my nanowrimo novel and you may see that up here. And I've also always wanted to go back to writing lyrics. But seriously, if you read/reviewed any of this while I was somewhat active, I owe you so so so much. This has seriously been the most valuable outlet of self-expression I've ever had and I'm really at a much better place in my life right now. So I think??

May 2016: wrapping up my first year of college, writing is still on my mind

April 2017: i know no one looks at this!! but i still think of this page sometimes and it's easy for me to forget how important is was to me, but then i take a look and it comes back. thanks again to anyone who ever read and reviewed.

I can't edit. I can't spell.

I you continue and read anything I've written, you will understand.

(I usually write around the time of midnight, so I consider these flaws acceptable)

Feels like forever when there's no way out
And forever drags on when I can't believe
Can't believe in tomorrow or a way to leave
Can't believe in trying or fighting for my dreams

We talk about yesterday like we learned from our mistakes
Like everything we ever did wrong finally falls into place
We laugh about the past like it's centuries gone
But we only laugh 'cause we're afraid to say we were wrong
Yet the future seems too far off to be true
And it's hard to think of 'cause today we have to make it through

Am I perfect enough for your eyes to behold?
Am I pretty enough for your arms to hold?
Will I ever bleed enough to be worthy?
Will my soul ever be mine again?
Does it look better when I empty my eyes?
Erase my soul and pour out my mind?
Should I loose myself to achieve perfection?
Should I risk my life for such an infection?

And I can't remember ever feeling so much pain
And I can't remember anything
But I'm just waiting for my heart to start beating again
And I know you don't care about my shame
And I know you don't care at all
But I'm just waiting my lifeline is fading and can't keep waiting for long

Hit me... you can't hurt me

She lives in a house with a wall around the fence
Too worried about everyone else
She can't stand up to her own defense
She lives in a world where pain is routine
And smell of blood is all she breathes

It's like I'm there to be ignored
To be acknowledged when you're bored

I didn't know I'd held my breath
Until I exhaled, down in the grass
But then as I inhaled again,
I didn't know this one breath
Would be my very last
I read between the lines that blur in the light
And I'm trying not...
To die

Lips as red as the blood that drips from her arms
Running from people though they mean no harm
Living confused in nothing but pain
Praying her heart will start beating again

24 things to do in an elevator! (I FORGOT WHO I GOT THESE FROM SORRY!!)
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.