Fish Stark
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Poll: The Vampire's Agent is an idea I got a few days ago. It's a satire of vampires in the media, told from the point of view of an agent who began to represent vampires before they were "cool". Now his client is rich and famous, but out of control, and right- Vote Now!
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Joined 02-25-10, id: 713472, Profile Updated: 02-02-12
Author has written 74 stories for Play, General, Essay, Haiku, Nature, Humor, Love, Historical, Fable, Humor, General, Young Adult, School, Life, and Romance.

My name is Fish. I'm 16. My least favorite beverage is unleaded gasoline.

I like satire. I write a lot of that. I also write a lot of poems from the heart about love and stuff. They're probably corny.

I hope you read my stuff and have a good laugh. If you do, recommend it to your friends. If you don't, I'm sorry I couldn't help you.

Please read and review Convention! I'm having so much fun writing it but it's no fun if nobody reads.

If you like my stuff, click on these links:

www.facebook.com/fishstark

www.eyeonannapolis.net/category/columns/from-the-classroom/

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The Art of Chivalry reviews
You know that one guy that is always moaning and pontificating about humanity going to hell in a hand-basket because of facebook and feminism and pre-marital fornication? We've all seen one in our lives. This is about him.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,986 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/16/2011 - Complete
The Red Handkerchief
Originally written in French...and since it's not my first language it's not too complicated of a tale. But I like it. O. Henry-esque.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Complete
Convention reviews
With chapters like "Me Want Paleface", "Fascist Bushes", "Official US Army Shit", "Smith John", "The RiteAid Revolution", and "Low-Fat Brogurt", you know you want to read this satire about the degeneration of US politics. Please read, enjoy, and recommend
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 81,767 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/2/2011 - Published: 5/26/2010
Thrill reviews
Ever get out of bed and feel "Damn, today's going to be good!" ?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/2/2011 - Complete
Adulthood reviews
On a Southwest flight from OAK to PDX, the man next to me, a guy in his forties, was hunched over a paperback book of financial advice, using a highlighter to brighten the important things, many of which were already bold and underlined . I wrote a poem.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 178 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Complete
Inclement Weather reviews
A brief satire on the emotions stirred up in my county & state by school closures due to snow. Two letters from two parents with two different and hilarious points of view.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,778 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Complete
La Neige
Both in French and in English. This was for a school assignment--we were to write a poem about snow for French. Due to non-fluency I was limited both in the original poem and the translation. Don't expect my best.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Complete
Socialized Medicine reviews
This is a protest play for fans of the health reform bill. The efforts to repeal it are underway and this play is needed more than ever. Characters model both the real-life effects repealing the bill would have and metaphorically model the forces at work.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,109 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Complete
Crushing into 2006 reviews
A short, sweet autobiographical tale I wrote up about one of my first crushes--a cute girl named Allie I met over Christmas vacation in 5th grade. Sweet and a little tongue-in-cheek quippy, a 2 minute read at most.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 514 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Complete
Recital reviews
A quick play-more like a scene. A boy, a girl, tension, a feeling. Neither of them have names, neither says what they're actually talking about, and there is a piano. I think that means that it is avant-garde. ; Open to title suggestions.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Complete
How to Fall in Love in Ten Minutes reviews
A hitman and a trophy wife meet on a plane. A fun and touching love story from one of FictionPress's beloved humorists, author of 'Twilight's Alternate Ending' and 'Convention'.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,358 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Complete
A Modest Proposal
Parody of Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal'. Pokes fun at my local energy company, BG&E, which charges high rates and responds very slowly to the many power outages. Also jabs at Sarah Palin and Justin Bieber. Have fun!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,474 - Published: 11/24/2010
The Dude Chain reviews
A nature documentary--about humans. Specifically, teens and mating. This short, sarcastic comedy follows four teens who all want sort of the same thing. This is technically a screenplay for any sticklers, but it could be a play.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,500 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Complete
Dans Un Jardin De La Terre
Poem written in French and translated with tweaks to improve flow . Sorry to those who don't speak French, or who speak it better than me--I probably butchered it. Based loosely off Le Petit Prince, but also works out of context.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 239 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Complete
Tea Party leaders debate Don't Worry, Be Happy reviews
What happens when Tea Party leaders debate against the reggae song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" played on a loop? Find out in this satirical essay from one of FictionPress' favorite satirists, Fish Stark Twilight's Alternate Ending, Convention
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 580 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/31/2010 - Complete
Rapunzel and the Zoning Ordinance reviews
Bureaucracy is at work in Fairyland. Zoning board inspector Jack Sprat is jealous of Rapunzel's hair, since his wife's body fat has absorbed all of her hair. He fines Rapunzel for leaving her hair out on the lawn. Can The Handsome Prince repeal the fine?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 992 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Complete
The Great Highway Debate reviews
A political satire essay mocking Republican resistance to plans such as Health Care.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/12/2010 - Complete
We Two Go to New York City reviews
And the dynamic duo goes to the Big Apple! What will happen?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
We Two Go Hiking
And the infamous couple goes hiking.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
We Two Go to the Lake
My bitter but lighthearted salute to happy couples.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 140 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
Approach Shot
I want to talk to a girl but don't. I write an angsty poem.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 284 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
Ode to the Lightning Bug On My Shower Curtain reviews
I saw a lightning bug on my shower curtain. I wrote a poem.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
Hanging With Cupid's Masterpieces reviews
This is a poem about love and stuff
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
Still Life With Crumbs on Plate reviews
I saw some crumbs on a plate and metaphors abounded. This is what happens when you give children too much time off for the summer.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Complete
Another Fairytale reviews
A talking donkey from the hood, a bunch of drug-smuggling trolls, and a knight in a woman's body form the cast of this madcap fairytale. Check it out!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Complete
Fairytale reviews
Fans of my alternate ending to Twilight will no doubt love this f'd-up fairy tale disclaimer: written really quickly featuring all sorts of crazy characters, including a little troll named Glenn Beck.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Complete
TenezMoi
I wrote it using my not very vast knowledge of French. I said it was English because I included an English translation and even those who don't speak the language can appreciate the French poem's beauty.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 238 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Complete
A Letter From Republicans to Democrats reviews
A satirical news article about a letter sent to Democrats by Michael Steele that exemplifies the "true Republican spirit".
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/27/2010 - Complete
First Daughter reviews
Griffin Peshk, an Albanian superspy, has been sheltered from the outside world in a training facility for all of his 13 years. He's sent to America to kill the president, but his priorities are thrown out of whack when he meets the President's daughter.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,767 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 4/1/2010
Without You reviews
She makes life so much better, and this is a poem about that.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Complete
Supergirl reviews
She's THAT special.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Complete
Letter to Katy from the State Penitentiary
A poem
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
How To Fall In Love In Under 15 Minutes reviews
One of the first short stories I ever wrote.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,773 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
How Cheney Stole Christmas reviews
Parody of Dr. Seuss' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,992 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Dear Mr Spielberg reviews
A faux letter to Stephen Spielberg.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Javier
A story I wrote. It was supposed to be a school assignment to illustrate Belizian culture. I turned it into a novella.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,299 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Focus reviews
I hate ADHD drugs. I wrote a poem about how much I hate them.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Signature reviews
A Poem About My Signature
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Cliches reviews
A short story I started, made up of entirely cliches.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010
Queneau
A queneau is when you tell the same story through many different formats.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,651 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Awkward Love In Haiku reviews
Some haikus about admiration.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Algebra and its Applications to Real Life reviews
Algebra sucks! Read this.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Ode to an Incoming Call reviews
I wanted her to call me. She never did. I wrote a poem.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010
Signs reviews
You know that moment where you don't understand what your crush is trying to subconsciously say to you? This is a poem about that.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010
Why I'm Not Very Social reviews
And I attack the popularity structure of middle school.
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Cage FightA Family Guy Fanfic reviews
Brian and Peter save Nicolas Cage's career; Stewie meets the machine from Big.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,799 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
The Brits and the Yanks reviews
American and British tourists stuck in the desert plus an author who loves his stereotypes equals comic fun!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,187 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Writer's Block reviews
Poem about writer's block
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
CTYA True Story of Life and Love at Nerd Camp
So...this is me chronicling my adventures at nerd camp. Funny and poignant. Stream-of-conscious, too, so not my best work--but every word of it true-to-life.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29,520 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Rejection reviews
Based on true events.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Still Life With Vines and Fence reviews
I saw some vines and a fence. I wrote a poem about them. I posted the poem on Fiction Press.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Lac Du BoisA True Story of Life, Love, and French
This chronicles my four years at a French immersion camp in Minnesota from ages 9-12, including my first romantic encounters with the opposite sex. Awkward, sweet, and true. Preteen romance 101, take it or leave it.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,461 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Big Sappy Romantic Poem
I wrote down my thoughts about love/my girlfriend at the time. Very sentimental and at times cliche. Take it or leave it.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 383 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
The Role of the Essay in American Education reviews
Humorous poem that makes fun of essays. Yay!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Hands
Poem about a break up. More specifically, my breakup.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 345 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Why the Sky is Reflected in Puddles reviews
Another mythical assignment for school, explaining a natural phenomenon. Written after seeing the sky reflected in a puddle.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Court in Haiku
An explanation of why I'm in court for Grand Theft Auto.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 227 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
How Animals Were Created
A school assignment. I made up my own myth about the creation of animals.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
Wish You Were Here reviews
Angsty love poem
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Complete
The Hannah Montana Movie's Alternate Ending reviews
After the success of my alternate ending for Twilight, I lampoon Hannah Montana in an alternate ending for her own movie. Featuring some very special guests.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Complete
Lost Book of the Odyssey reviews
I had to write a "lost book" of the Odyssey as a creative writing assignment. We were graded on our creativity as well as our Homericness. I did it in the original poetic meter, dactylic hexameter, for extra credit. Takes place right after Polyphemus.
Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/19/2010 - Complete
Slow Dance In Haiku reviews
A series of haikus about a slow-dance.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Complete
You Learn Something New Every Day
This is a poem.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Complete
Goldman Sachs Turns A Profit? reviews
A satire about what would happen if Goldman Sachs made a minimal profit.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 714 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Complete
Whatever You Be
Is this a cliched love poem? Why yes.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Complete
Writing Poetry In Haiku reviews
A haiku about the art of writing poetry.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Complete
Blood & Pizza reviews
A play about violence, what it means to be human, vengeance, forgiveness, and proper Pizza Guy ettiquette.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,014 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Complete
Twilight's Alternate Ending reviews
Alternate ending to Twilight. Twilight lovers beware, this is a satire and I HATE TWILIGHT.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Complete
Resistance
Poem about snow on a mountain.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete
Yearly Physical In Haiku reviews
A haiku about my yearly checkup.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete
Out of Left Field: Republican LegislatorsChimps reviews
Satirical essay about the effectiveness or lack thereof of Republican Congressmen.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete
Out of Left Field:Campaign Contributions Gone Wild reviews
Satirical essay about the effects of the Supreme Courts recent vote on campaign contributions from corporations. K for a bleeped 'f-word' and some mild sexual innuendo.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 709 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete
Nightswimming
Poem.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete
A Very Bad Idea reviews
An awkward teen's plan to get the girl he likes goes horribly wrong. Rated T for language, mild sexual innuendo, and drug content. Being filmed in Los Angeles.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,337 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Complete