two short haikus.

there was a time when it was bad luck to have a woman on board a ship. back then, if one was found, the sailors simply tied her legs together and flung her overboard. this, as any sensible person will tell you, is a mistake. why do mermaids like to drown sailors, anyway?

depression is a lot like drowning, except that you can see everyone around you breathing.

"let me in," called the vampire outside the window. he smelt of earth, sodden and lonely like the grave they'd buried him in.

three not-so-innocent children are facing a dreadful peril, and they haven't even had breakfast. with the help of a vegetarian vampire, an overweight siamese cat and unusually stylish arch-villain miranda goth, the mismatched group sets off to fetch back their grandmother and save the planet from her evil schemes. but will they make it in time?

basically an archive of all the weird stuff i scribble down when I'm bored. quotes, poems, stories, etc. although most of it just sounds like i ate a dictionary and vomited up random words.

it's the night when the undead walk the streets, so hayley figures she might as well try and get out for once.

nightmares, witches and lesbians.

we were sixteen when we killed a man.

there's this old guy in the park who says he used to see mermaids. every day he sits on a weathered wooden bench, staring out over the lake and smoking cigarettes he rolls himself, wearing some crusty old suit and a pair of leather shoes, like a man who went to meet his girlfriend at a party and turned up seventy years too late.

she wishes her boyfriend wore cherry-gloss chapstick/she wishes her boyfriend wore high-heeled shoes/she wishes her boyfriend had cheekbones that cut ya/she wishes she wasn't so damn confused

an aged couple look back on their life together.

"it's kind of lonely," the monster remarks, sadly, "to be this scary."

it's pretty boring being the moon

Nothing interesting has ever really happened to Amy Barlow. That is, until she and her ex-boyfriend are both killed in a freak accident and wind up in Hell. Their punishment is cruel, unusual and rather amusing - not only are they forced to endure their own company, they must also rely on each other to stay alive. Eternal damnation has never seemed so twisted.

the real story is not poetic. we did not live in a cardboard box, did not tame tigers and marry princes, did not travel the world and the seven seas. we walked past the chinese takeaway and back, bought two ice-creams and were caught.

there was a time when the two of them were inseparable: the flamboyant, self-absorbed diva and the nihilistic music geek who spent his lunchtimes composing quartets in the library. both gifted. both outcasts. both nurturing dreams of fame and fortune. now they're poised on the brink of stardom, and there's only one problem - they can't stand each other.

a short piece about a young woman going for her first job interview. things don't quite go as planned.

a young artist tries to make his mark in a world where creativity is seen as a threat.

a song about onions

i don't even know

fun with limericks

when tash and her mother move into an abandoned mansion after her father's death, it's not long before tash begins to realise something is very wrong with the house. someone else is already living there, and they want her gone.

somewhere between a dazzling satire of modernistic poetry or the acid-trip ramblings of a teenager who doesn't get enough sleep

shes loose and she's coming at you like a wet flannel

to live without risk is to risk not living

a businessman's daily journey to work.

in my elysium, no one grows older or younger; nothing is alive; nothing you hear, feel, smell or touch really exists; and everything you see melts away once morning comes.

when an ordinary office worker discovers two strange growths forming on his shoulder blades, he has no idea that it is only the beginning of a disturbing metamorphosis that will change his life irrevocably.

the dreamer can create or destroy planets at the drop of a hat. the universe is his playground. trapped in a strange, surreal world of dreams and illusions, cora realises only he has the power to help her. but is he all that he appears to be?

the way my father moves is mesmerising. he steps quickly, jerkily, like an automaton; tense and poised on the edge. as if the slightest movement would send him spinning.

the weirdness in my head.

stop wondering what's behind the door.

a mother and her son are walking on the beach when they find a dead bird rotting on the sand.

imogen suffers from "ashley syndrome" - a rare genetic condition that traps her permanently in the body and mindset of a six-year-old. oblivious to the changes all around her, imogen stays locked in a child's world as her once-perfect family falls apart.

a girl visits her ageing grandmother, who suffers from advanced dementia.

"dear video diary," begins the girl - and with those innocuous words, katrina webb finds herself plunged into a real-life horror story where the lines between dream and reality are unsettlingly blurred.

when matt asked for a new mobile phone for christmas, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for.

all of her tomorrows start here.

two children, lost on the ice, are drawn closer towards the ice lady - a creature whose dangers are not to the body, but to the mind - and slowly begin to lose their very selves.

a short encounter in a graveyard.