The-One-Who-Needs-A-Life
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Joined 05-11-10, id: 724734, Profile Updated: 09-28-12
Author has written 10 stories for Humor, General, Horror, Humor, Fantasy, Family, Thriller, and Romance.

READ THIS BEFORE YOU EVEN CONSIDER UPLOADING YOUR STORIES TO THIS WEBSITE!

Someone, going by the name 'June Ashley', is stealing work from fictionpress and publishing it as her own on Amazon. She has done this with multiple novels, one of which was written by my sister. She's worked incredibly hard on this novel, and to find out that someone else is claiming it as her own and making profits from it is just heartbreaking. Please be aware that anything published to this site is not copyrighted and this could happen to you too. By all means, upload basic plot lines and few chapters, but I'd be more aware of your work if you are uploading a full story. Also, if you are finding that you are getting lots of reviews, favourites etc. that you will be more of a target. So as much as you are a good author, you're also a possible victim to this same action. Please please PLEASE don't let this happen to you too.

If you guys are that great a writer's and earning enough popularity, consider publishing it yourself. Don't leave it up to others.

Hope this has informed you enough and I hope you are more aware. Copy and paste this onto your profiles to spread the word.


HEEELLOOO JOE! xD

(That's right, you're name is now Joe :) I don't care if your name isn't actually Joe! your a random person on the Internet that I'll never meet... So neeh :P)

I am The-One-Who-Needs-A-Life formally known as L, lifey, Leanne, Lele, Liam, Loraine, Blondie, One, That weird crazy girl who's been stalking me, Or Earphones! guess which is my real name :D -clue- It's a word :O. Anyway... I've discovered a love for writing stories, fan made or original, and I am putting my weird and wonderful imagination to the test...

I've decided to start writting storries mainly because, I just have a weird mind, have weird thoughts and weird dreams, and lots of times I've thought to myself, "Hey, this would make a weird great story!"

If you've got this far, thanks for being interested in me, and if you haven't, then thanks for nothing you jerk!

Haha only joking, heh heh... -_-

Anyway please read my stories because they aren't that bad, and I always feel so happy when i know that people are reading my stories, and every time someone doesn't read my stories I will kill a puppy. You think I'm joking...

Oh yeah, almost forgot, please review my stories, even if it's just to say you liked it, or hated it, I just want to know, and it makes my day when I see that someone has actually reviewed on my very own story! =D

To find out more about me, go down vv to the pop quiz thingy :P


RANDOM STUFF! YAYAYAYAY!


Few Famous words...


Bring me sunshine in your smile, bring me laughter, all the while.. -Morcombe and Wise


'L ife'
I s
F or
E pic failures


Every day, An old man dies of confusion from a well known mystery, commonly known as Bieber Fever. I'm proud to be an anti-bieber!


Life is too short to waste it, So stop listening to crap like Justin Bieber, and listen to some proper god damn music!


I make a living out of wasting my life, deal with it...


I NEED A HERO!!
eww, but not you...


words are easy, when they're true = )


You've been told that Osama bin Laden was killed, but I heard he was just refined to a wheelchair...
That's right, he became a wheely Bin ;D


I had a dream the other day where my hand was a dolphin... IT WAS AMAZING!
But then I woke up to find that there was just a random person eating my hand -_- ahh the shame...


I used to be a small minded girl, one that knew hardly anything. But then, Rebecca Black entered my life, and all of a sudden, learning about the last four days of the week has made me a genius! I can see again! I can now ride a bike! But theres only one downfall to her song... I heard there was another three days to the week... And plus it sucks... BIG TIME! I'm sorry... Hey, Rebecca, Re-REBECCA! Just... Just get out. Just get out! *points to the door* Get the hell outta my head! _


TITANIC IN 5 WORDS

A lot of people drown.

THE END!

Copy and paste onto your profile if you think this pretty much sums up a 3 hours and 14 minute film.


"So, If I have two beans, and add two more beans, what do I have?"

"Some beans."

"Yes... but Two beans add two beans... what does it make?"

"A very small casserole."

- Blackadder (Blackadder and Baldrick)


"You're drunk."

"You're sexy!!! 8D"

-Family guy


One girl One boy = Love

One girl One girl = Love

One boy One boy = Love

One person one homophobic protest picket sign = IDIOCY!

Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're against homophobes trying to stop gay rights.


Copy and paste this if you just lost THE GAME.


On my own, pretending he's beside me.
All alone, I walk with him till morning.
...Without him, I feel his arms around me.
And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me...

-Eponine, Les Miserables, On my own.


I'm not a slash girl, I simply sometimes find Hetrosexual relationships in stories boring


If you are still scrolling up right now and looking for the link to getting free cookies, then you really are gullible...


WEIRD CONVERSATIONS IN MY HEAD AND THEORIES BY YOURS TRULY


Friend: So, Leanne, I see you like to wear those bands with words on...
Me: HELL YEAH!
Friend: So what does the rainbow one mean?
Me: Happiness :D
Friend: :) The two connected together?
Me: Anti-bullying :D
Friend: :) The blue one?
Me: Girl Guide! :D
Friend: OOH AND WHAT ABOUT THAT THIN RED ONE!? O.O
Me: ...That's an elastic band o.O
Friend: :D :D AMG THAT IS SO COOL :D :D :D I WANT ONE SOOO MUCH .
Me: ...


I had an epiphany the other day, when I realised this...
Babies: NEVER walk
Toddlers: Yeah, walk but often don't want to and take a ride...
Children: Very Active, Walk, quite alot
Teens: Very Active, Walk, Quite alot
Adults: Yeah, walk but often don't want to and take a ride...
Pensioners: NEVER walk

Is this another example of THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!? O.O!?


When you sing in your dreams... you sing... FOR REAL! I know this since I apparantly started singing 'Teenagers' by My chemical Romance in my sleep...


People say that in your dreams, you're dreaming about something you possibly forgot about, and didn't realise. Sometimes, it has a hidden message, and sometimes it's suggesting something that's true through something obscure. So... When you dream that you're pregnant... that must mean... um... pregnancy test time? o.O


Apparantly, God created everything. He created the earth, the light, the humans, and the animals. He creafted the paths we lead, and the the babies we make. So... surely, he created the gay's too...

STOP SAYING THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE GOING AGAINST RELIGIONS!!!!!!


POP QUIZ!!

What’s your name?

I know this... it’s erm... PASS!

Gender?

Um... –checks- okay female =3

Age?

I’m the ripe old age of 50... wait...make that 15 =s

What’s your birthstone?

...Ruby me thinks...

Zodiac?

Zodi-wha?

Astrological sign?

Is that the Aquarius thing? I’m cancer, sadly -_-

Height?

No idea, I stopped growing while I felt like a shorty =(

Weight?

Don’t know, don’t want to know.

Hair color?

Brunette, but in some lights it looks like it’s got red bits, and in some lights it looks like It’s got blonde bits! =D

Eye color?

Er... I got told it was blue, then I got told it was green, then I got told it was brown around the pupils... so Blueish-green with brown flares in the middle =D

Are you in love?

Yup

With who?

THE POPE!!

Are you lying to me?

Duh...

Do you have an imaginary friend?

HE’S NOT IMAGINARY!! He’s Fred, my red dragon. =D

Do you want an imaginary friend?

I dunno, what do you think Fred? –Listens to Fred- he says I don’t need one.

Look to your left. What do you see?

My cupboard with a Christmas styled goofy hanging off it xD

What were you doing at 6:45 this morning?

On the bog, having a piss... naw only joking, I was in bed... having a piss...

What was the last thing you yelled?

OMFG, WHO ATE THE LAST BIT OF BEN AND JERRY’S!?

YOU BITCH!!

Do you believe in magic?

Believe in it? Duh, why do you even ask that? It’s like asking do you believe in Santa, I mean, you telling me that Santa, and magic aren’t real? HUH?! God you are an idiot question person...

Do you believe in fairies?

Now you’re getting silly...

Who’s your crush?

Did you ask this earlier? Anyway, someone you don’t know, and don’t need to know.

Have you ever fallen down a flight of stairs?

...yes _

More than once?

...Yes _... and everyone laughed at me =’(

What did you do when you got to the bottom?

Of the stairs? Well considering I live in the Escher, staircase painting, where there are stairs over every wall... it’s a long while before I get to the bottom. When I do, I get up, rub my ass, and move on...

Type your name with your feet.

I, err, my name? Erm... PASS!

Was that fun?

Was what fun? Trying to remember my name? Believe me, it’s not fun -_-

Run around the house. How do you feel?

-Gasps for air- I see a white light! Ugh... I hate you questioning person!!

Do you own a credit card?

If by credit card, you mean a parent with money, then yes, yes I do.

Do you like to shop?

Meh...

What’s the last thing you bought?

I think, it was a Christmas present for my friend

Do you have any children?

I have three guinea pigs, Fudge, Oreo, And Cookie, does that count?

Are you married?

No, did you not see that I was 15? Jeshush...

Who’s your crush?

I said, "you don’t know him," so why should I tell you, random question person.

What’s your favorite color?

Dark Red =p

Favorite animal?

Ooh tricky one... Either guinea pig, penguin, Dog, whatever stitch is (from Lilo and Stitch) or fox

Favorite fruit?

Sweet corn, wait, that’s a vegetable... Strawberries!

Quick! You have to save the world!

AH! Really? But I’m in my Pj’s... Damn you question person, you made me spill my tea. God I hate interviewers. –attempts to save the world, but ends up destroying it- well... there goes humanity... oops...

Someone has a knife to your back.

Really? I don’t feel anything. –turns around- nope, it’s a Twix, I sat on it, your mistake.

Do you swear?

Swear to what? Swear to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? If so, then NEVER!

Do your parents know you swear?

Probably, I dunno, they don’t ask.

What is open on your computer?

3 internet windows, some popups –damn them- a few word documents with stories on, and messenger. Oh and Itunes and paint. Damn it, I need to close some things =o

Who’s the last person you talked to and what did you say?

It was my dad, and I said, “Yup.”

He said, “Do you want a cuppa.” How uninteresting.

Where are you?

At home, on the sofa, with my laptop, on MARS! Yay for outer space =3

Look up. Now look back. What did you see?

I looked up and saw the stars... wait where the hell is my ceiling and my roof? =O

What’s the last thing you ate?

The one and only Twix bar that I sat on earlier. It was all warm and the chocolate had melted slightly, yum =p

What's your personality like?

I dunno, I don’t get to know myself. You’re starting to know me, you tell me.

Who do you have a crush on?

o.O that question? AGAIN!? you’re really pissing me off question person.

What was the last thing you thought?

"I wonder if I’m wasting my life filling out stupid questionnaires like this one..."

Do you sleep walk?

Not that I know of.

Do you sleep talk?

Apparantly, I screamed out, “SHREK!” in the night once. Oh and I snore, does that count?

What’s the worst dream you’ve ever had?

I don’t remember, I think I was a princess, and then I thought a prince was coming to save me, but instead he cut my head off =/ oh there was one, when I dreamt I was pregnant, and then it turned into a cheesy musical... otherwise, nothing that bad really.

Say "George Bush". What's the first thing that comes to your mind?

Someone called George, and him standing by a bush...

You now have a million dollars. What do you do?

Well, Dollars cannot be spent in England silly question person. So instead I save five hundred thousand of it for later, then use the other half to make a paper Mache statue of Spongebob Squarepants =p

What are you eating/drinking right now?

Tea, and I just ate a Twix, I swear I told you that.

What are you writing RIGHT NOW?

RIGHT NOW I AM WRITING DOWN THIS STATEMENT!!

Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say?

"Please spin again." Hmm... *spins again.* "Please spin again." Yeah, I think my globe is broken _... *Spins again and it breaks.* "You have now destroyed the world. Go Die you SOB." O.O

Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say?

This book is the very hungry caterpillar, there is no page 56, line 18 etc. Please do not ask me to do complicated things =s

What can you hear right now?

My dad singing- unfortunately- and my brother buzzing a sonic screwdriver in my ear o_e

Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

Me: So, what have you been up today?

Guinea pig: squeak squeak

Me: fascinating =/

Turn on the T.V. What show is on?

OMFG IT’S SPONGEBOB!! AAHH, okay I need to finish this question thing quick, so hurry up!

What happened last time you were typing here on this computer?

Last time I was on this computer typing, I was told to take this questionnaire –that’s being extremely annoying- and distracting me from any other stuff that I might actually need to be doing!

Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What’s the first thing you see?

My dad staring at me, asking me if I am okay, and if I had been taking drugs or something. Thanks a lot question person _

Two more questions… who’s your crush?

o_o you are really pissing me off now, okay my crush is a boy at school, deal with it okay, it’s not you question person, no matter how much you wish it is, it’s not Santa, or SpongeBob, or anyone else, IT’S A BOY FROM SCHOOL! DEAL WITH IT!!

Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell?

Omg, you are really annoying you know that... okay, hang on a second...

n. okay, can’t be bothered with this, you crazy, stupid question person. Right, now I’m gonna stop wasting my time with questionnaires, and get back to wasting my life with writing stories, tata, toodle-pip, PEACE OUT!

It's your turn! Copy and Paste this on YOUR profile and take the Pop Quiz! It's Super Fun!

So the question person says... _


STORIES :D


She's His Bromance -In Progress

Genre: Romance

One girl, Alley Jerome, takes on a whole new level of awkwardness, as she takes on the challenge of trying to act like a boy, posing as Alex Feminam. It's not her fault, bless her. She's in hiding from one person that's coming after her, and is trying to keep out of trouble. She's tried everything, and yet, this seems like the only way to get her any more undercover. And so, here Alley is, in a new school, a new life, and a new gender. She needs to keep her cover secret, but what's going to happen when he meets that certain someone who could be her... 'brother?'


Yeah... I've kinda started again, so most of my other stories are either discontinued, or are one shots L_L... Feel free to read them! I might have kept them up because They had good reviews, or meant something to me, so Just check 'em out. You never know what sort of stuff you'll like :)


People's I RP with are aweshome! :DD So don't you disrespect the buddies, and... schtuff..

Yeah...


Here is my Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2474942/The_One_Who_Needs_A_Life


...Yes, my profile has a lot of crap on it. But I bet none of you saw the link that'll sign you up to free cookies (no catches, or tricks) a little further up


IF YOU ARE AWESOME YOU WILL POST THIS FACE SOMEWHERE ON FANFICTION/FICTIONPRESS

L_L

GO

USE THE FACE LUKE!


P.s. feel free to pm, email, etc. for any reason you want =)


P.s.s. GUINEA PIGS FTW =D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fatal Fairy Tales by Rickman-Fan-Girl reviews
Not for children, fairy tales with an evil and twisted spin.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,007 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/2/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009
Sparks and Flames by Solar Flares and Technicolor reviews
In a world of magic and political intrigue, a simple servant stumbles into a rebellion, whisking her away into a world of magic, blurring the lines of right and wrong, truth and facade. Will she pledge to her kingdom, or set the world ablaze with a spark?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,844 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 12/26/2010
Blame by dreams unfound reviews
Who's to blame – the bully ... or the victim? A series of one-shots from the perspective of so-called "bullies." Maybe they're not as mean as you think.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,526 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 3/29/2011
Bizarre Stories for Peculiar Minds by bookaddict27 reviews
Short, humorous stories ranging from ridiculously random to spectacularly stupid. They practically drip in sarcasm and some are rather morbid. If you read without too high of expectations, you might get a laugh. Or you might just question my sanity.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,825 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 2/11/2011
Plummet by dreams unfound reviews
It is too late to be remembered. After all, why should the crimes be remembered and the innocence be forgotten? We think it is too late. So we plummet.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/19/2011 - Complete
This Is What Goes On In My Head by Dont Mock The Week reviews
Title explains it all really. Rated T for bad language. Lots of it too.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Complete
When its all done by ClassicalManiac777 reviews
Wrote this poem not long ago, Its kinda my take on life and my own philosophy, none the less I do hope you enjoy it. Its got quiet a serious take on life so its rated T for those reasons.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Complete
Bunny Rabbits That Fell From The Sky by Dont Mock The Week reviews
Title pretty much sums it up. Very random 5 minutes of my life.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Complete
A Superhuman Plague by Max8080 reviews
A mysterious plague is sweeping the globe. Victims, after convulsing and passing out, recieve varying abilities; super powers. What would YOU do if you were infected with a super power? CHAPTER 6 UP!
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,184 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/31/2011 - Published: 11/21/2010
Gross Spring Bumfluff by Adz Papa reviews
Something i wrote during a boring study period. A bit random with no real sense of direction. For people who like things a little random
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 659 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Complete
The Glum Demise of The Girl With Beautiful Lashes by mikaelamuffinx reviews
A poem about the mysterious death of a girl with beautiful eyelashes. Read, and review pleease. :D
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Complete
You by Ineedapenname9 reviews
Life ain't a fairytale...you mutter to yourself, cringing at the squeals coming from across the street. You don't reach for the blade this time, because the mental angst surpasses any physical one.-Read and review!-
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 394 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Complete
The Perfect Specimen by A fragment of the imagination reviews
What should I use as a replacement for blood' It all started when I recieved horror as my genre for our short films assignment in drama. Who knew I would find my first love with a genre like horror.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 645 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Complete
The Chip by Bish reviews
Robin isn't rich nor is she famous. Then why are some people so determined to kidnap her? Follow Robin through the adventure of a lifetime and see if she can make it out alive!
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 17,770 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/28/2005 - Published: 9/1/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

She's His Bromance reviews
Alley's life is turned upside down as she's told to start a new life. A new life -as a boy? What will happen in this new adventure into a new school, with a new boy who could be her potential... friend... Better summary inside...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,116 - Reviews: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/18/2012 - Published: 12/16/2011
19 reviews
Detective Charlie Fletcher has been called back on the force,given the case about a brutal murderer that is killing innocent children. Will it put his wife and kids at threat? will he make it out dead or alive? and isit really the end of the world? R&R!:D
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: T - English - Crime/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,029 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 4/30/2011
Sister Dearest
For my sister, R.J.Warren, A.K.A, Bex... I love ya Bex xx
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Published: 4/5/2011 - Complete
Damsels and Bad guys reviews
Stunner boy finally realises that all he is, is a sidekick, but when being informed about this, The Villain believes he could be of use to him. Could this get violent? or is it the new start to a very strange relationship? I'm rubbish at summaries, R&R!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,673 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 2/25/2011
The Journey Known as Defeat reviews
Everyone has an obsession that you can't resist to have all the time, but here's the most common one for most people...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Complete
20 Things To Say To Turn Someone Off reviews
Ever wanted to turn someone off because you just can't stand them? here's a few examples of what to say to do just that. Rated T for sexual references and swearing
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Complete
The Simpletons Guide reviews
Hey You! YEAH YOU! you seem like the kind of simpleton that needs help with life! COME READ NOW! -to fellow people who are not simpletons, just a comical guide for the retarded, Enjoy- WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? READ ON!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,306 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/28/2011
How To Survive A Scary Story reviews
This will be a series of short stories, consisting of blood baths and gore, but each ending with a moral about how you could prevent this in a horror story, Enter, if you wish to be creeped...
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,146 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/3/2011
Just The Riddles reviews
Just a few riddles, see if you can work them out. If you can, Write your answers in the review
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,306 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 12/30/2010
The Basics To Romantic Stories reviews
I'm pissed off of all these cheesy romance stories, THEY ARE ALL THE SAME! read this, and it'll prove that any love story written falls into these guidlines...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,236 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Complete
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