E.V.Alinari
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Joined 05-12-10, id: 724949, Profile Updated: 05-20-10
Author has written 3 stories for Sci-Fi, and Young Adult.

To whomever this may concern,

At some unimportant moment in history, my mind decided to go into overdrive and managed to spew out about half a dozen plot lines and a troll-sized barrel full of characters to fill them. Seeing as that this new multitude of creative energy was about to induce a massive explosion that would take out the northern half of the United States (and Canada, but who's counting?), I thought that it was high time to put it all down on paper. About twenty notebooks and fifty thousand Caribou napkins later, I had something resembling a story (three, actually).

I little bit about me, I suppose. I'm one of those Type-A people who drives themselves mad over perfection. There has been many more times than I can count on both hands (and both feet) that I've either threatened to throw myself off the back of a giant turtle onto a pile of vicious, man-eating feathers, or something along those lines. I spend most of my time complaining about my life, listening to other people complain about their lives, and trying to mathematically deduce when the Doctor in his glorious blue box will come spirit me away from this hopeless existence.

The things I am proud of: utterly kicking butt in my cross-examination of Napoleon Bonaparte in 1813 (most definitely an event of epic proportions), and my masterly conceived plan for taking over the world using the worldwide Catholic youth group system (most definitely will be an event of epic proportions).

My goals in life: learning to tie a knot out of a maraschino cherry stem with only my tongue, defeating a Dalek armed only with a box of Twinkies, and winning a staring contest against a Buckingham palace guard.

I have two friends understand the evil genius within. One of them is a hopeless romantic whom I always consult. The other, who always is the one doing the consulting, is a lunatic writer - like me, but worse! For those of you who have any knowledge in the area of insanity-containment, please let me know before I'm forced to improvise and inevitably do something to destroy the time-space continuum.

As far as I'm concerned, David Tennant is God.

My writing spans over multiple genres. I've got sci-fi, fantasy, thriller, mystery, comedy, slice of life, poetry - nothing sulky and disgustingly emo, mind you. I'm not "goffik", as dearest Tara would say. I also use heavy sarcasm. I breathe it. I exude it.

Needless to say, I am no professional, and therefore my work is by no means perfect and needs improvement. Critics: do you worst! I can take it. I also do this in my spare time, and in the world of E.V.A. "spare time" is practically nonexistent nowadays. So if by some gracious miracle you actually like my work, I can't promise timely updates of any kind. I can only beg forgiveness before you see fit to slam my head into a wall.

I suppose for now I'll end with the great wisdom of Amy Pond:

"If we're going to die, let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band."

Cheerio!

~E.V.A.

My Immortal Commentary by V.M.Stone reviews
I know this is probably qualifies as a fanfic, but *shrug* c'est la vie. Basically, a few friends of mine and I have gotten into a contest to see who can get all the way through "My Immortal" and write a full commentary. Hope you enjoy, "prepz."
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 47,229 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Complete
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In Which The Lord Ate 50 Corndogs
Inspired by a short news story about a man from Massachusetts and a pair of pants from summer camp. A story of normality meets insanity. Enjoy!
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,920 - Published: 5/26/2010
How Could You Not Believe?
After an accident left her family scarred and struggling to move on, Ana, who lost her most precious possession that night, discovers what it means to believe in a new future, with help from some unlikely sources.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 684 - Published: 5/21/2010
Interface reviews
With ten years separating them, one young man tries to discover the truth of his past, while the other attempts to prevent a terrible future from ever occurring. Mind, I'm no good at summaries. Pretty sure I'm not doing the story any justice :D
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/20/2010