Alena Lodermay
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Joined 06-07-10, id: 728954, Profile Updated: 01-08-11
Author has written 5 stories for Action, Life, Horror, and Fable.

Writing is like a passion of desire... I just can't stop! Scenes go floating through my head like a sickness. Voices of emotions speak to me. And my hands go flying through the words. Go into a trance with me and look at my works! I usually make these "OH MY GOSH REALLY?!" stories. But hey, they're mine.

Love Pudding. If anyone else worships it like me, then feel free to contact me.

The stories that I'm putting up here would make you think that it's an actual book and I'm writing fan fiction about it, but I swear it's not. Or make you think that it's an actual published book and I'm copying it. BUT I'M NOT! The Magnetic Ability and its sequals/side stories are all MINE AND NO ONE ELSE'S.

Um... I discontinued Running Silent because I'm lazy and it's a lot of work...

YAY NEW STORY! It's a horror/romance thing (you're thinking 'How does that work out?') and I'm loving it soo much because it's basically me writing about how much I want an older brother. Dx So yea...

My motto is: I'm not scaring you about the world - I'm just opening your eyes to see it.


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism


Why America has some issues:

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Some funny quotes:

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyways."

"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to height."

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"


The Funniest Joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and 12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.



Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I kissed
April--I licked
May—I did the Macarena with
June--I smelled
July—I jumped on
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1--a birdbath
2--a monster
3--a phone
4--a fork
5--a snowman
6--a gangster
7--my mobile phone
8--my dog
9--my best friends' boyfriend
10--my neighbor
11--my science teacher
12--a banana
13--a fireman
14--a stuffed animal
15--a goat
16--a pickle
17--your mom
18--a spoon
19-- - a smurf
20--a baseball bat
21--a ninja
22--Chuck Norris
23--a noodle
24--a squirrel
25--a football player
26--my sister
27--my brother
28--an ipod
29--a surfer
30--a llama
31--A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White--because I'm cool like that
Black--because that's how I roll.
Pink--because I'm crazy.
Red--because the voices told me to.
Blue--because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green--because I think I need some serious help.
Purple--because I'm AWESOME!
Gray--because Big Bird said to and he's my leader
Yellow--because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway
Brown--because I can..

Other--because I'm a Ninja!
None--because I can't control myself!

Combine and see what you get!


Thnx!

The Most Abused Word by Canada Cowboy reviews
What do you consider the most abused word? That is, which word is used so often and in such inappropriate situations that one can almost say it is being misused? After reading this piece, the result might just shock you.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,783 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Complete
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The Tortoise and the Hare
A classical story with a slight twist
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 359 - Published: 10/15/2012
Requiescat in Pace reviews
They see me raise the knife. I have to kill them, there's no other way. For the life of my sister, for her well-being; I have to kill them. Their eyes widen. They tormented her for too many years! Blood spills. They see me raise the knife.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,136 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 1/7/2011
The Magnetic Ability reviews
There's this war has been going on for 28 years and all I have left are these four other people who are my lifeline. Then this guy named Ackland, oh man is he a real psycho. But this world is crumbling apart every minute and now I'm bleeding out...
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 28 - Words: 30,708 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010
Running Silent: Trackers reviews
My name is MC. What it stands for or what it means doesnt matter to you right now. All you need to know is that its MC and I'm being chased by these lunatics. My life depends on everything going right, but its all going downhill and there's nowhere to go.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,589 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 7/20/2010
Castle of Sand reviews
Just your average thoughts by your favorite split personaility girl.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/20/2010