![]() Author has written 1 story for Supernatural. i love books, music, sleeping, writing, gymnastics, volleyball, free swimming, snow & sunshine :) Best books ever r ~ Pretty Little Liars ~ Twilight saga ~ Night World Series ~ The Mortal Instruments ~ The Summoning/The Awakening & The Reckoning ~ The Forbidden Game ~ Dark Visions ~ Chicka Chicka Boom Boom ~ YOUR GUY SIDE: YOUR GIRL SIDE: For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist. DORMITORY:When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM ASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER DESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters:A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES:When you rearrange the letters:THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH:When you rearrange the letters:HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE :When you rearrange the letters:HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES:When you rearrange the letters:CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY:When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY ELECTION - RESULTS:When you rearrange the letters:LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS:When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT:When you rearrange the letters:IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES:When you rearrange the letters:THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO:When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE 35 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals / 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. / 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. / 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. / 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. / 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" / 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. / 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme./ 11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" / 12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!"13. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!14.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" / 15. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. / 16. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. / 17. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.18. Start a fish-stick fight. / 19. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended. / 20. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" / 21. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.22. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner." / 23. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. / 24. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines. / 25. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.26. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." / 27. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. / 28. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. / 29. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.30. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. / 31. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. / 32. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!) On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On artificial bacon:"Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.) A stranger stabs you in the front/A friend stabs you in the back/A boyfriend stabs your heart/Best Friends only poke each other with straws An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep I'm not insensitive, I just don't care Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over. A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught. Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid? Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives. Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS! There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't. History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide. I ran with scissors - and lived! Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun! Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling? Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing. A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary. If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! You say physco like it's a bad thing... Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you? People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. Cute but psycho - things even out. If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em. Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had! I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me. What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding. If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!" I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Love your enemies. It pisses them off. Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? If two wrongs don't make a right, try three One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. I intend to live forever...so far so good Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you I don't obsess! I think intensely! Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it. Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over. Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried. Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry. |