DeliriousEphemera
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Poll: Who is your favorite character from Real Vampires Don't Sparkle? Vote Now!
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Joined 07-24-10, id: 736461, Profile Updated: 05-31-13
Author has written 15 stories for Supernatural, Sci-Fi, General, Romance, and Humor.

NEWS!

Real Vampires Don't Sparkle, vol. 1, is being released June 9th! It's available in either ebook or paperback, for your reading pleasure. In celebration, up until June 9th, I'll be giving away free stuff on Facebook. Just join the Real Vampires Give away Free Stuff event: https://www.facebook.com/events/601907746509492/ It's open to everyone!

Other linkage:

My Facebook page (feel free to friend/follow): https://www.facebook.com/amy.fecteau.3

RVDS facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Real-Vampires-Dont-Sparkle/403618189691692

RVDS Goodreads page: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17568054-real-vampires-don-t-sparkle

If you read the original RVDS, stop by the Goodreads page and post a review or rating! Every little bit getting the word out helps!

Thanks again to everyone who commented/favorited! You guys are awesome!


I have twitter account. @AmyFecteau. Yes, that's my real name. It's French. I'm not French, just my name. Follow me and learn all about the wonderful things I eat for breakfast! Maybe it'll feel less silly that way...probably not. Anyway twitter. Do it.


Hi.

Me:

28, computer science major, trapped in the American northeast, sarcastic, lover of fake cheese and cursing.

My stories:

Lots of dialogue, ditto on the swearing. All my characters lean towards snark. I prefer to laugh, so lots of humor. Bouts of melodrama, usually of the violent kind. I do love my violence. Almost always slash. Never set in high school (with one exception). Don't follow seme/uke rules, because come on, people, it really doesn't work like that in real life. Sometimes my characters' opinions are my own, sometimes not. Check first if you plan on yelling at me.

Other:

If you give me a review, I may respond, I may not. If I sound mean, I'm being sarcastic. If I sound bizarre, it's because I am. If you make me laugh, I will love you forever.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Leviathan! by RoughDraftHero reviews
Leviathan has always been apathetic about this whole supervillian business. However, to impress his older brother, he chooses to make the new superhero in town his arch nemesis. Too bad this hero has a penchant for saving Leviathan! slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 75,070 - Reviews: 818 - Favs: 581 - Follows: 723 - Updated: 3/1 - Published: 12/2/2011
The Dogs of War by eurytideslhy311 reviews
Mark would see to it that Sean, 'Professional' Dog-Walker and his own personal nightmare, never came near his front lawn again. Too bad Sean finds out that Mark's bark is far worse than his bite. M/M.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,255 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/10/2013 - Published: 7/22/2011
Art Criticism by Blue GhostGhost reviews
Down for publication. You can follow updates on this on my Tumblr. My job at Melissa Anderten Gallery was hard enough without the input of the most annoying photographer on the planet. God, I hate that guy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 577 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Complete
House Husband by Nebulad reviews
Wesley Anderson is turning twenty and doesn't want a job. Simon Wallace is almost thirty and can't care for himself. Nature is full of symbiotic relationships; however, Simon has a sketchy past and Wes has a weakness for the little dork...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 166,041 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 8/3/2012 - Published: 11/6/2011 - Complete
Ei by S.H. Marr reviews
Skylar knows a lot about his boyfriend, Ei, even if they only talk online. He even knows that they go to the same school. But he doesn't know Ei's real identity. Can he figure it out, or does someone need to point out what's right in front of him? Slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 21,733 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/18/2011 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Complete
Of sweaters and heartache by LyingOutLoud reviews
I had a pretty good life going, but then my ex had to march into my favourite coffee bar and back into my life. I hate him. And his stupid sweater. Slash, m/m. Rated for language and some sexual content later on.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,257 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 9/29/2011 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Complete
Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3030 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,704 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
Death under a pink umbrella by Kanilla reviews
Death goes by the name of Maurice. But that’s something you wouldn’t know unless you work in Underworld. When the higher ups assign him an assistant he really doesn’t want, what’s poor Death to do? MxM
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 66,413 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 4/16/2009
The West Canal by Jumping Jack Flash reviews
When gutter witch Julin Drum finds Miki floating facedown in the canal, he captures his ghost and takes it home. That's what witches do. But Miki is an uncommonly intense ghost, and things are getting a little personal...
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,533 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Complete
Insert Catchy Title Here by She Had Somewhere To Go reviews
I used to have a corny summary for a make believe story to lure people to read this. This is not, in fact, fiction. It is a commentary on the quality of the stories on this site...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,110 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Complete
Transvest Yourself by Abrasive reviews
Ashley is a boy with the misfortune of attending an all-boy's boarding school. And being mistaken for a girl. A one-shot parody.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/19/2010 - Complete
Above the Influence by iBrandi reviews
SLASH. Somehow, his best friend bringing drugs to the Spring Formal isn't the worst part of the night for Nate. The worst part of the night is when Nate manages to accidentally out himself while they're both high on said drugs. His life is a farce.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,435 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Complete
Plumblossom explains it all by plumblossom reviews
Chapter one: In which I kvetch about uncompelling writing. And introduce the words girliphobia and girliphilia. Chapter two: In which I give acgtually good advice about point of view and related issues.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,372 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 8/28/2009
Convenient by orbicland reviews
After Sam's boyfriend gets shot, it should be obvious what he's supposed to do. Instead he reads a lot and can't seem to stop running into the cute paramedic from the accident site.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,676 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/8/2009 - Complete
Better Than Breakfast by Tygati reviews
Irian is a Fairy Godfather, and very good at what he does. Which is why it is so baffling and vexing when nothing he does seems to bring a Happy Ever After for his latest charge. Worse, every day makes it harder to avoid trying to keep the boy for himself
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,122 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Complete
How To Write Slash Like A Kid by Jumping Jack Flash reviews
Tired of struggling for literary integrity? Relax! Here's all you need to know about writing slash fic! Oh my god, I am going to get so, so flamed. *grin*
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,399 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Complete
Make the Yuletide Gay by Aggy Bird reviews
In which we find romance, angst, a dash of mystery, bad puns, and Santa Jr.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,863 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Complete
Brennan and Blue by Black Box Paradox reviews
Quests don't always turn out the way you plan. Slash, M/M.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,407 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 27 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Complete
Thousand Feather Smash by redexted reviews
So he can't do without his beloved feather pillows. Fine. But must I suffer the indignity of shopping for them with him? Must I do that when he doesn't even know their MOST important purpose? I must enlighten him! M/M slash, fluff.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,213 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Complete
FrankInLove by Aggy Bird reviews
A modern day romance between monsters. Well, sort of. Slash, MM.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,464 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 37 - Published: 2/20/2007 - Complete
The Ordinary Vampire by Rachel Lynn reviews
Jacob was just minding his own business when he was kidnapped and tied to a porch. Who knew that this little town could be so bizarre? Slash. M/M. One-shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,119 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 31 - Published: 6/19/2006 - Complete
Boxers' Rebellion by Rykaine reviews
[SLASH] Rivals in sport, know only one way to flirt.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,688 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/26/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Real Vampires Don't Sparkle reviews
REMOVED FOR PUBLICATION. SEE INSIDE. Matheus didn't ask for this. He just wanted a normal, boring life. One bad night, and now he was drinking blood, running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation and generally being a whiny b*tch. Well, that last part wasn't new. slash. snarky.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,390 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 5/31/2013 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Complete
Ring, ring reviews
Q: What is a writer's least favorite thing to do? A: Write. So what's an agent to do? Did you say commit enough felonies to quality for entry to the mob? Ding, ding! You win a prize. oneshot, dialogue only, rating for language and such.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/26/2012 - Complete
Saint Valentine's Day reviews
Everyone celebrates in their own way. A series of one-shots. A smidgen of smut, a bit of sweet, and a lot of snark.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,016 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Complete
Cupcakes reviews
Includes: eggs on the ceiling, a maid, a break-up, several curse words, a precocious six-year-old, minimal angst, awkward flirting, cupcakes obviously , chain-smoking, a happily married gay couple and cake-related deception.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,949 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Complete
Teghan's Mistake reviews
Even the smartest people do dumb things sometimes. Teghan is no exception. Just a fluffy bit of slash. oneshot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,367 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2011 - Complete
Generically Cute Romantic Comedy Title reviews
Viv is neat, Toby is not. Toby is poor, Viv is rich. Toby is hot, Viv...is also hot. My version of a romantic comedy, which like most rom-coms is not especially funny... m/m, slash, etc, etc, etc, just read the damn thing, okay?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,344 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/20/2011 - Complete
Control reviews
Tomorrow is cranky. Soren gets a job. Soren is cranky. Tomorrow takes drastic measures. Sequel to Tomorrow's Visitor. MM. Rated for naughty language. Oneshot.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,359 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Complete
Everybody Says reviews
Jakob gets drunk and lost. Oh, and a giant cockroach wants to become...intimate. A short one shot from the Neurotic and Sociopathic universe.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,708 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/18/2010 - Complete
Undead Dialogue reviews
An afterlife conversation between two guy whose deaths were less than normal. If you're looking for deep, complex allegories and brooding plot lines, this is not the story for you. If you want the literary equivalent of a Easter Peep, then click on over
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 760 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/14/2010 - Complete
Tomorrow's Visitor reviews
Tomorrow liked solitude. Then a naked lunatic arrived and demanded pants. Things went downhill from there. oneshot. slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,393 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/27/2010 - Complete
Mmm reviews
In which Sebastian is a neurotic b*tch and Jakob is himself. This only makes things worse. MM. Slash. One-shot. Sequelish to Neurotic and Sociopathic in Space.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,511 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Complete
Neurotic Bits reviews
Shorts from Neurotic and Sociopathic in Space. Probably won't make sense until you've read that first.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2010 - Complete
Fk it reviews
You know all those things you always wanted to say? Well, Adam decided to say them. m/m. fluff. oneshot.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 911 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/5/2010 - Complete
The Boy Who Cried Troll reviews
You know the worst thing about being crazy is that not even your best friend will believe you when you tell him there's a troll living under the stairs. Okay, maybe not the worst. It's never really been an issue before. But it's definitely on the list.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,972 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/4/2010 - Complete
Neurotic and Sociopathic In Space! reviews
So your hot math teacher has a spaceship hidden in his basement. Oh, and he's a wanted criminal and you ended getting kidnapped by aliens. A little freaking out might be on order. Unless you're Jakob. Then it's the best thing that ever happened to you
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 226,031 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/3/2010 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Complete