the clayer
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Joined 08-10-10, id: 739247, Profile Updated: 07-29-11
Author has written 1 story for Romance.

Hmm.

Hmm.

HMM.

I'll tell you all about my exciting life one day, I swear. But you will have to pay a fee and bring your own popcorn. Quite frankly you haven't been cleaning up your mess in the theatre lately, and my spotty teenage colleague here is so frustrated he's refusing to let me use the big screen. Thus, no bio. I fear you have only yourself to blame.

Sooooooomewheeeeeeere, overrrrr the raaaaaaiiiiinbooooow:

http://the-clayer.livejournal.com/725.html

There was...a...liiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnk~

Okay tinny update (don't ask me why I'm writing an update for such a silly story) for any lovely soul reading (god knows why you are but I love you to bits):

1) My computer has waged war. We have been fighting a battle for about a month now, and I am losing. Badly. Very, very badly. I am the generic, pathetic damsel in distress who has not-so valiantly attempted to defeat a legion of viruses and has funked up the system files like a 1970s disco. Can't save any word documents, can't access Windows Updates, can't take a piss without it crying about something. Yaaaay. Huzzaaaah. Help? No? Gahhhhhhhhhh.

2) Exams will be over on Wednesday.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

PARRRRRRRR-TAAAAAA -

Hahahahhahahahahaha no. It means Chapter Nine will be waddling its wounded little bottom onto your screens! Ahah! Eheh...ah...

Also. A message for a very special reader. Aherm.

CoffeeAddict, please. You are going to give yourself a hernia. Just come back to bed. Relax. Let me give you a massage. I assure you, Jake and Andy are still verrrry much rolling around in my little insignificant mind aiding the semi-fatal procrastination-for-examinations process, as are about a million other stories. But fear not, for they will dance for you soon, my sweet. THEY'LL DANCE FOR YOU SOON.

Now, everybody say it together: "Clayyyerr suuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkks~"

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Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3030 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
Thin Floors by DiamondKing reviews
Marvin had an unhealthy obsession. He only had one friend in the world, a boring job, no boyfriend, and he lived his sex life vicariously with the help of thin floors and a dildo. Finally updated! Sorry for the wait.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,883 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 12/14/2008
Unrequited by All Good Things reviews
It’s tough being a gay guy when the only person you’re in love with is straight and the only person in love with you is a girl. SKoW Nominee.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 95,153 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Complete
Are You Together? by frogs of war reviews
Pete wasn’t looking for a new boyfriend. He wasn’t looking for anything, but suddenly he’s interwoven so deeply into the lives of Rick and his three small boys that he can never escape. Not that he wants to. Slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 194 - Words: 234,681 - Reviews: 1795 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 1/18/2011 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Complete
Stepbrothers by xanthofile reviews
Slash. He doesn't particularly like me, and I sure can't find much fondness for him either. But, we're stuck together from the moment our parents say, "I do." Cliche? Yes, please.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 60,879 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 5/27/2008
Headline This by Sidderiffic reviews
Between writing for the school paper, fighting with his girlfriend, and leading on the resident football team dumbass, Eric really doesn't have time to crush on the new hot English teacher. slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 93,600 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 316 - Updated: 10/19/2010 - Published: 8/14/2009
Nerves by frenchmartini reviews
Meet me - David – a jittery student nurse who thought entering a roommate carer scheme was a brilliant idea. Meet Ryan – skate-punk extraordinaire with a penchant for chucking himself off vert ramps. In his wheelchair. Oh Lordy, that's got to hurt. Slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 95,664 - Reviews: 942 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 9/12/2008
My Meaningless Existence at a Frozen Yogurt Shop by the milk bottle reviews
ONE-SHOT. It was on that day that I began my downward spiral of meaningless sex, alcoholism, violence, and… okay, not really. But it felt close to something like that.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 629 - Follows: 38 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Complete
Good Luck by Ocean Owl reviews
Will is smart, polite & responsible, in everyway he’s the perfect child to his strict, religious parents. Everyway but one: Will is gay. As he struggles to hide his secret, Will begins to find people who may just understand him. Slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 46,485 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 8/11/2009
Scenes are for the Socially Inept by Cocaine Cowgirl reviews
Slash. Dreyden was just another cocky gay playboy, recently single. Orion was just the awkward kleptomaniac younger brother of his homophobic friend. And it all started with a door to the face, what could be more romantic?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 57,153 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/14/2009
Greg the Vampire by Aggy Bird reviews
Sequelish to FrankInLove: Greg, Dracula's dark, menacing, socially retarded eldest son, finally finds romance. That is, after he gets over his intimacy issues, adopts a dragon, and helps save a monster orphanage. MM, WIP, other acronyms.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,761 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 536 - Follows: 467 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 12/23/2007
Broken Wings by Katica Locke reviews
Complete -- Jakil LeMae arrives at Alyrrawood University, the prestigious school for mages, werecreatures, vampires and faeries. Homoerotic fantasy.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 79 - Words: 172,033 - Reviews: 1707 - Favs: 971 - Follows: 250 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
Stupid Post It Notes by Dirty-Angel-Toes reviews
Seth has a lot to deal with lately, such as adjusting to his brand new life with a brand new 'family', including the acerbic and unpredictable Tuesday, who can't seem to stand him [M/M slash]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 44 - Words: 434,926 - Reviews: 3977 - Favs: 1,869 - Follows: 1,426 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 6/15/2005
The Red Light Club by Chasmodai Blue reviews
Slash// How draining it is, to be a monster, especially one who eats love. Didn't you hear? Only a whore would ever love a incubus.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,896 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Complete
The Boy Who Gave His Heart Away by Catalyst Roses reviews
Daniel was born with a section of his heart missing. SLASH.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 682 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Complete
Horrible Mistake by Penelope P reviews
The Devil grinned wickedly and stared down at her broken body. Her mangled wings spread out painfully and her bruises ached. The last Angel was dying and The Devil stood and watched. Oneshot
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Complete
The Strangest Places by Three Score and Ten reviews
Of all the possible places to meet your future boyfriend, the bathroom is probably not in the top ten. If you're in the bathroom because you're throwing up, the odds narrow even further. Guess Cale's just lucky, then.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,552 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Complete
You Have Limited or No Connectivity by DiamondKing reviews
Just my thoughts on various things. I wasn't intending on updating until I arbitrarily wrote out my thoughts on a certain word. Chapters 1 and 2 are not interconnected, so you can just read one or the other.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,996 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/12/2008 - Published: 10/2/2007
The Faster You Fall by sitaloire reviews
Yes, Nicky's fathers are gay. That doesn't mean he is, and he's determined to make sure everyone knows it... until he meets Dave.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 69,625 - Reviews: 692 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 6/5/2008 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Complete
With Intent by Zebbie reviews
Adam's got the Spidey Sense but he'd rather be The Invisible Man. Your regular Marvel Action Hero minus lycra and enthusiasm for saving the world, he'd rather just ignore it and his dormant to extinct love life. Going nuts is more of a problem. MxM. slash
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 64,713 - Reviews: 607 - Favs: 1,100 - Follows: 221 - Updated: 3/23/2008 - Published: 5/9/2007 - Complete
The Green Hall by American Schokolade reviews
slash They might have loved each other for more than the Green Hall, if only they could.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,069 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Complete
Peace XII and Chance by d'Neronique reviews
Chance's loyalty to the Insurrection of the Twelfth Peace was more fate than anything. Three part story. [slash]
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,956 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/12/2008 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Complete
Peas by Spooky152 reviews
I started looking at the French fries one case over, but when you stand in front of one single case in the frozen foods section for 15 minutes, the stockboys think of you as the lonely, slightly overweight woman they read horror stories about.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 992 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Complete
Larry the Knight by IdeasInTheAir reviews
Rapunzel...with a modern twist, and a knight who has to put up with her stubborn, and slightly sefindulged personality.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,200 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/26/2007 - Published: 7/10/2007
Turpentine by Zebbie reviews
Unrequited musings of an artist's model. Gay male. One shot. Redrafted!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 999 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 41 - Published: 12/11/2007 - Complete
The Real Thing by ParanoiaSerf reviews
COMPLETED When their two different worlds cross unexpectedly, Luke and Avery must find a way to deal. But in the process, they might just find something more...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 52,924 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/19/2007 - Published: 1/30/2006 - Complete
Five Moderately Easy Steps to Having a Life by write-this-down reviews
[Slash] Liam mostly keeps to himself and spends his time painting, until one day a neighbor shows up with his mail. After that, it's only a matter of time until Liam finally gets the hang of actually having a life. OneShot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,173 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 33 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
FrankInLove by Aggy Bird reviews
A modern day romance between monsters. Well, sort of. Slash, MM.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,464 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 37 - Published: 2/20/2007 - Complete
Chemicals to Blind by Twisted By Design reviews
Colby is 17, cynical, and gay. After moving, he meets a girl who teaches him the meaning of friendship. Through her, he becomes comfortable with who he is and what he is, and finds himself doing something he never considered possible: falling in love.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 50,137 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/24/2007 - Published: 12/15/2005
Fibonacci's Pizza by d'Neronique reviews
Well, he was Italian, right?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/4/2006 - Complete
Just Friends by Natasha5 reviews
[ Slash ] Friends who joke a little too personally, sit a little too closely, hug for a little too long, stare a little too intimitely, touch a little too often and care a little too much. Right. Just friends.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 43,111 - Reviews: 1063 - Favs: 1,030 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 10/24/2006 - Published: 5/11/2006 - Complete
Mascara by American Schokolade reviews
slash The end of my three year relationship changes my life more than I ever thought it would, and I am hardly pleased when I find myself the plaything of two bickering gay guys, especially when one of the guys' sexy friend agrees to pick on me. Complete
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 102,418 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 705 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/1/2006 - Published: 12/28/2005 - Complete
13 Pandas by d'Neronique reviews
Panda, panda, panda. Count the pandas. Learn the lesson of life. From Panda.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 15 - Published: 3/31/2005 - Complete
The last dance by Ellerfru reviews
This is one of my darkest poems, so be warned. It's about music, love, and sex, and death, I think... Rather difficult to understand, as those who are used to my other works might already know...
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/24/2003
atlantis by Ellerfru reviews
I don't know how to describe this one. Difficult to understand and maybe a bit sad. If you believe it or not, it took me five months to write it, but now I'm quite proud of it.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/13/2002
Bird's Eye View reviews
Slash. Andrew's not sure why he invited Jake to live with him. Jake's not sure if he is. One stoic young architect and one rebellious teenager. These are the days that Happy Dog the starling finds himself wondering if all humans are mad...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 74,586 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/27/2011 - Published: 11/20/2010