the clockwork doll
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Joined 08-19-10, id: 740523, Profile Updated: 06-23-13
Author has written 8 stories for Politics, Life, Horror, Humor, Supernatural, Romance, General, and Sci-Fi.

Boomshakalakadingdong.

Oh, BEHAVE, baby! ;D

I am the eunuch of many alliuses.

JUST KIDDING!

Ah, the internet is getting to my head. Think of me as your computer screen; completely sexless and incapable of copulation. BAM.

You want the truth???

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

But, if you must know, I'm actually an extremely muscular sabertooth tiger, wearing the tactful combination of a thong and a coconut bra. Rawr.

x

Double points if you got the hidden message.

Triple points if you know the two references that I'm aware of. :D


-EXPLANATION OF POTENTIAL/RECENT HIATUS- (admitted and dismissed from hospital: 13/6/13, or 6/13/13 if you're American. Diagnosis? Panic attack.)

This is a message to all busybodies out there - whether you give a damn or just read profiles for entertainment(?) ;)

Well... part of my prospective absence is due to a destructive rampage where I delete all new works within a space of a week - whether or not you (dear readers) like it. It's the peppermint tea. I swear. It's making me more cynical and critical of my work, and it seems to have come into my life at the same time as the downwards spiral.

That, and I am currently in a slump.

A big emotional wreck slump - not necessarily creative. But it's having a detrimental effect on me in general, and may affect the speed of my updates.

Is this some sort of crisis?

Probably.

It might also be because I'm just generally ill atm.

Either way I'm going to the GP to check out why I'm having heart palpitations - most likely involved with the virus I've had for... (I can count, by the way, I just can't remember how long it's been)... BUT even more likely it's a result of my hypochondria - but if I don't update in the next three years, that probably means I'm dead. In which case, sorry guys, and have a nice life.

That is, if you even care.

But if you wanted an explanation... well, here it is!

Pip-pip cheerio!
-TCD
8/6/13 UK. 6/8/13 USA.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Rosaline: Burning Daylight by Mr. Papi reviews
Summer is the time for romance, although in Rosaline's case, it's really more the time for one failed non-romance after another. She's on a seemingly unending quest to find a boyfriend, and with her friends along for the ride, no amount of homework, lesbian rumors, naked government officials, haunted forests, savage marine life or common sense will get in her way!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 92,307 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/16/2015 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Complete
You know what's stupid by RedX9 reviews
Personal rants from personal to the very personal
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 24,891 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/22/2014 - Published: 4/25/2012
Kill Your Darlings: Rants on Writing by Persnickety Fox reviews
A collection of pet peeves. See if these annoy you, too.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,864 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 8/10/2014 - Published: 9/8/2011
My Wolf Boy by MadameLeQueen reviews
It wasn't everyday Aurora was kidnapped by an insane man from her father's asylum. It wasn't just any man. He was, Orion, the wolf boy who spoke through actions rather than words. And she absolutely has no idea that havoc is about to wreak.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 104,353 - Reviews: 870 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 807 - Updated: 6/4/2014 - Published: 3/18/2010
Beautiful Mistakes by Sam Mariano reviews
Julie the straight A student may know what she's doing in college, but when it comes to her love life she can't seem to get it right. Why would she move in with her ex? When she accidentally lands a nanny job, it seems things are looking up- but are they?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 190,234 - Reviews: 669 - Favs: 655 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 5/21/2014 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Complete
My Strange Destiny by peopleinducenausea reviews
I'm Karina, a normal girl from the heart of America. Normal, except that I am mated to a hateful, seven-foot-tall alien named Elden. Neither one of us is particularly happy with this arrangement, yet the survival of his race relies on a single experiment and my ability to bear his children. My destiny has turned out to be quite strange... Rated for lang/sexual content. Revised.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,356 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 6/18/2012
Call Me Crazy by Imagination's Calling reviews
So I was shipped off to a mental institution in the middle of nowhere. Only problem: I'm not really insane. To make matters worse I'm slowly falling for a dark-eyed boy who's a bit too obsessed with fire.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 435 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/11/2013
Provenance I: Verlangen by Kangae no Hinansho reviews
I could feel him against me, and it was then that I realized that this wolf didn't want to eat me like little red. And that realization terrified me more than the thought of being devoured. Rated M for Lang and Sexual Content.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 89,456 - Reviews: 736 - Favs: 730 - Follows: 463 - Updated: 5/8/2013 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Complete
Rosaline: Hyperactive Summer by Mr. Papi reviews
Six teenagers spend the summer in a beach house with no adult supervision, but they're pretty responsible. Its not like they're always getting into car chases, getting attacked by crossdressers, getting haunted by the slender man or going to desperate measures to have a summer romance. Well, the dog's pretty well behaved. Read and Review, please.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 61,204 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/20/2012 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Complete
The Story That Should Never Be Told by Miracles Oublies reviews
The Concord alumni have been kidnapped. "Will you go out with me?" were the words Blair had wanted to hear from him ever since she met him...just not when she was trapped in a Dark Room with an objective to get pregnant by her captors. Full summary inside
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,390 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 4/20/2010
Working An Audience In Less Than Ten Seconds by Persnickety Fox reviews
From what I've seen on FP, making a story popular starts with a two-line blurb. Here's how some people make the most out of those two lines.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 770 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Complete
Big Apple I: Truth is by Kangae no Hinansho reviews
I needed to stay far away. "Mate…" The words sounded like a whisper, but I heard them clearly. He was standing in my face, staring down at me with his amber eyes. I had never seen lustful eyes before, at least lustful eyes directed at me.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 59,442 - Reviews: 630 - Favs: 483 - Follows: 615 - Updated: 11/10/2011 - Published: 5/25/2010
My Eleven Hour Car Trip to Utah by delainey reviews
A true essay about the experience that is a family road trip.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
Universal Nerd Speak by lavendernightmare reviews
I mock ONLY and ONLY the stereotype.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 373 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Complete
Make a Story! by quasys reviews
Want your work cut out for you? Come on in!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/10/2011
If Found, Burn Immediately by N. Ravyn Wedemeyer reviews
A continuation of the story If Found, Do Not Return, following the lives of Elizabeth and Lindsay after escaping their tragic fates as they deal with horrific memories, and the bloodlust that digs inside of them. See Warning inside.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,542 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 6/19/2011
If Found, Do Not Return by N. Ravyn Wedemeyer reviews
A story documenting the lives and exploits of four, murderous runaways as they tunnel deep into their morbid fantasies and create a series of snuff films with with hopes of becoming famous.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 47,981 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Complete
Words by earcandy reviews
Words are my craft. Like teenage angst and wicked blues.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Complete
Nacho by jinx89 reviews
He lifted his hand, my bra dangling off of his index finger.OPEN ME...one word on each cup. His smirk grew as he said, "I don't mind obeying orders."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 76,421 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 824 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Complete
Impossible by C.Black4991 reviews
DON'T READ.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,975 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/9/2010 - Published: 8/22/2010
Unwanted by Sam Mariano reviews
Raised in a nice Bostonian neighborhood, the only kind of "baggage" Melissa's accustomed to is from Prada, Coach or maybe Gucci. When a sexy new neighbor moves in, Melissa's comfortable little world --and everyone in it-- is in for a very rude awakening..
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 190,058 - Reviews: 342 - Favs: 187 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 9/19/2010 - Published: 9/14/2008
Art Just Got Practical by aliceisinwonderland reviews
see what you think :
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Complete
Emotions by DarkShadow2012 reviews
The impact and importance of emotions
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Complete
Temptation and Desire by aliceisinwonderland reviews
When sometimes you just have to give in...
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/12/2009
If Love Was A Destination by Forever Forbidden reviews
...then I've embarked on an eternal journey.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Biohazardous Reform
In the year XXI-13, a new genus of beetle introduced a contagion that wiped out 3.5 billion people. Morde, our unfortunate hero, is being paid to prevent new strands of the disease from killing the surviving population. But with his freedom compromised, he starts to wonder whether his monthly wage is enough to make the world worth saving.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,033 - Published: 3/17/2014
Emme reviews
Fragments from the life of a human artist, and his not-so-human life model.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,132 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 1/11/2014
Run
He peeled her off him, eyes wide, staring desperately into hers. They were searching for something. A soul, maybe.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,416 - Updated: 12/31/2013 - Published: 7/18/2013
Killer Mentality reviews
Liz Fletcher, flagged for 'anti-social behaviour' regarding the un-dead, finds herself mixed up with law enforcement and some pretty heinous monsters. Each with questionable motives. Along with a delayed rite of passage, and a rising body count, will the real evil-doers receive their comeuppance? Or will chaos purge all? Expletives and epiphanies abound. Reader discretion advised.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,147 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/5/2013 - Published: 8/27/2012
The Coup D'état reviews
The babysitting power struggle, starring a misinformed babysitter and disillusioned parents. Beware of the children. They won't bite, but the dog will. -Oneshot Written for ncbx's 'Make a Story'.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Complete
Insomnia reviews
She can't sleep, so she hires a psychiatrist to talk about her dreams. The dreams that have haunted her for most of her life. -Oneshot. -mostly dream description.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,262 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Complete
The Beast is Beautiful reviews
I watch the storm unravel and wonder.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Complete
Propaganda reviews
Politics is a nonsensical limeric.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Complete