Uploaded Stories (Asterisks represent completed stories):

"A Fortunate Mistake" * - The first part of a parody of fan fiction clichés, including but not limited to the concept of the Mary Sue. The protagonists are all based on me or people I know, but the main goal here is to deconstruct bad fanfic. Also includes a subplot about not revealing personal information on the Internet.

"Of Quarks and Leptons" - Inspired by those old 1950s-and-earlier "shrinking man" stories; a researcher accidentally gets shrunk to subatomic size in a laboratory freak accident. While there, he learns that quarks and leptons are sentient, and that he must save them from destruction. But at this scale, he experiences the effects of quantum mechanics... The current version sucks; it is slowly but surely being rewritten, but please do not leave any comments on the original version.

"Hyper Fighting Machine Marmalade!" * This is a parody of all those fics in the Manga section which are either Magical Girl stories or high school romances. Geez, there's hardly any variety in that section! So, this is a parody which I am writing for NaNoWriMo, though it is neither a Magical Girl nor a romance story, the tropes used are mercilessly mocked. I would not be writing this if my friends did not like the idea, so they are at least partially responsible for its existence.

"Reading" * - Finally, something that I have actually finished. A mostly philosophical tale about the ramifications of being able to read minds. Featuring a snarky little girl, among other things. I know how much people like that character archetype. NOW REWRITTEN!

"Knight of Checkers" - Despite the name, this story has nothing to do with checkers. Instead, it's mostly about the adventures of a chess club. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than that.

"Linda! Laundry!" * - This was concocted in five minutes, deliberately intended as the shortest thing I could possibly write which has that title. Don't read too much into it... or on the other hand, read as much into it as you want, as if I were trying to produce "high art". You would need to be familiar with a certain Internet personality in order to fully appreciate this one.

"Bakuhatsu Yangire Shoujo" * - Two-shot. The title is deliberately ungrammatical Japanese as a parody of how many Japanese works have completely ungrammatical English titles. A rough translation though would be "explosion psychotic girl". That is basically what describes this. In this story, the protagonist revels in all the wanton destruction she causes. Technically a parody, but not quite how you'd expect. A sequel is in the works.

"The Indian Rope Trick" * - This was written in response to the controversy over what occurred in India, when Sanal Edamaruku showed that the alleged miracle in a church was a purely natural occurrence. However, the story can just as easily be interpreted as being against the fundamentalists of the American South. I am not satisfied with the ending, because I could not think of any real way to write it.

"Funny Business" * - This is the story I have been working on for a long time, and I'm glad to finally have it finished. Truth be told, it was originally conceived as a thought experiment, and was only supposed to be a short story, but became the length of a full novel. Now that I've finished writing it, I can relax for a bit. UPDATE: Now with a TV Tropes page!

"Valiant Defender Doble Ve" * - So I decided, why not try to write a magical girl story? But be warned, this is not your typical story like this. It is basically how I imagined that the genre might have turned out if it had originated in the pulp magazines of the 1930s. So, there is a minimum of magic and more of what would realistically happen if a princess from a magical kingdom found herself in the real world, saving the innocent from villains who are after her. (Don't worry about the rating; it only has to do with the violence. I will admit that this is probably the most violent story I have written thus far.)

"The Unhappiest Chicagoan" * - This is just a short flashfic that I wrote after the Cubs won the World Series, and I realized that "when the Cubs win" is no longer a synonym for "when pigs fly!" Featuring a douchebag protagonist!

"Lowell's Dream" * - Written on the 100th anniversary of Percival Lowell's death, this imagines what it would have been like if the man who imagined advanced life on Mars saw the real thing, in light of what we have learned in the past century. Spoiler alert: as if the title didn't tip you off, it's all just a dream.

"Sexual Relations" * - Don't let the title fool you; it's much tamer than it sounds. Are you disgusted by all the fanservicey incest anime based on light novels that have flooded the market? Do you want the main character to be disgusted at the situation like a normal person? Then this is the story for you.

"Catoblepas" * - Got back into the swing of things with another light novel parody, only this time, it's about those weird "boy meets girl" stories where the girl has some really cool supernatural power but hates it for whatever reason, and the boy loves her anyway because he is just such a nice person and nobody else even has any basic decency at all. This kind of developed into more of a satire than anything else, as the premise actually wound up being played mostly straight save for a few subtle moments. Probably my favorite out of all of my stories so far.

"The Downfall of Ys" * - Inspired by the legends of Ys and Atlantis, and written out of concern over a lack of action towards global warming, this story reimagines the destruction of Ys as due to anthropogenic climate change at the end of the last ice age, instead of sexual depravity.

"Dialogue Between Two Philosophers" * - I could say that this drabble has nothing whatever to do with my thoughts on the state of the world right now, but then I would be lying.

"The Lighthouse" * - I wanted to write a more "realistic" take on feral child stories. It still depicts a ludicrous situation that could never actually happen, though. Plus, I like lighthouses.

"Can You Spare a Dime?" * - A vignette inspired by the moral panic that erupted when the Roosevelt dime was first released to the public. Obviously the events depicted here are highly exaggerated, though.

"His Terrible Swift Sword" * - When a fundamentalist preacher has a near-death experience and learns that he has been corrupting Christianity, he has a change of heart and begins to actually preach love for one's neighbor instead of selfishness and bigotry for the pursuit of power.

"Foul Footsteps' Pollution" * - This was written to point out that the scariest thing about the time before the Civil War might well be that even ordinary "nice" and "decent" people still defended an evil institution, and that in some cases, even people from other cultures who assimilated no longer thought it was wrong.

"And Having So Been Taken Up" * - Aliens making first contact with humanity, gone horribly wrong.

"Help! I'm Trapped in Another World!" * - My version of the isekai plot. What would happen if, when the main character dies and gets reincarnated in another world, he doesn't get cheat powers or a harem or any other Gary Stu abilities, but is just an ordinary person trying to survive in a horrible world? And what if they remembered their old life and wished they could go back, instead of ignoring it? Read on to find out.