Secretmuch
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Joined 09-22-10, id: 745131, Profile Updated: 12-07-12
Author has written 5 stories for Love, Life, Young Adult, and Song.

Time for new profile.

I am a grammar freak. I hate bad punctuation and grammar. Also, I used to have a huge profile. R.I.P huge profile.

Anyone who wants me to be a beta reader, flick me a PM.

don't click this link...

If you can't convince them, confuse them!

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes.

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why would I keep looking after I found it?

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

I'm the kind of kid who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I burst out laughing in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is spent teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

You don't have to be faster than the bear; you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

People are like slinkies, basically useless, but it’s hilarious to watch them fall down stairs!

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hysterical.

My mother told me never to talk to strange people. I never talk to myself, parents, or friends anymore.

On those restaraunt signs that say 'No shirt, no shoes, no service,' does that mean you can wear a shirt and shoes, but no pants, and they have to serve you?

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.

eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of random book or movie characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

People think you have A.D.H.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.H.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago...

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile -EVERITHING MAN, EVERYTHING!!!- I could list them off but it would be endless

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them!

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. (God do I know it!)

Evil beware. We have waffles.

I aspire to duct tape someone to a wall. -Or to be duct taped to a wall, either one works.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

It's a battle between the bad, the ugly, and the- what the heck is that?!

Siblings: can't live with them, can't sell them on Ebay

No amount of therapy will EVER make this moment okay

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed. (crap...)

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people. (It would be pretty cool if it did though, think about it...)

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

6 truths of life: PLEASE READ!!

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth tried it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You will soon copy this and show it to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. (The popular who?)

98 percent of teenagers have participated in under aged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride!

98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies!!!

95 percent of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would yell "DO A FLIP!!"

--WHY AWESOME STUFF ARE AWESOME—

1. They are just plain bits of awesomeness.

2. They are capable of WORLD DOMINATION!!!

3. They don’t hate me like other apparently unliving objects.

4. They surpass these objects greatly.

5. They are useful and helpful.

6. They are more ninja-ish than YOU!

7. They fear to disdain the giant cookies! (ahem…)

8. They are awesome because they are NOT in Bloody Mary’s world on the other side of the mirror. WE are on the same side.

9. They are a reflection of my awesomeness.

10. They are more superior than YOU!

11. They include DRAGONZ.

12. And MONKEYS.

13. And SQUIRRELS.

14. And ME!

15. Therefore my most prized possession is… ME!

16. THEY’RE FREE!

17. YOU CAN FIND THEM ALMOST ANYWHERE!

18. THEY LIKE ME MORE THAN THE OTHER OBJECTS!

This awesomeness was copied from Dragon Rider II!

if you are somehow weather resistant copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever had unexplained urges to walk into walls... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're WEIRD and PROUD, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it, copy and paste this in your profile

f you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

Many writers don’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re.’ If you do understand it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombe and Fitch told them it wasn’t cool to breathe. If you’re one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your rear end off copy this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile

22 things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

if you are planning to do all or one of these things then copy and paste it!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One night stands are the best! by Chatty Katty reviews
"Come back to mine" he whispers in my ear after we break apart. All I could do was nod and he grins as he grabs my hand. After pulling me out of the crowd and into the parking lot where his car is he slings me on the hood of it before attacking my lips
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 134 - Words: 312,242 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 12/2/2012 - Published: 7/9/2011 - Complete
How To Be Very Self Righteous And Blame Things On Inanimate Objects by GlassTongues reviews
(or How To Inform Your Friend In A Dignified Matter That You Aren't Crazy) Six helpful steps for coercing your best friend into not leaving you alone with your mess.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,244 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/18/2012 - Complete
Blogging Life by Dragon-Rider II reviews
... from the eyes of a bored person with nothing to do. Originally on my profile. Random moments in life. Maybe a pillowbook? Also including blogs of fairy tales.
Fiction: Biography - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 200 - Words: 81,246 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/8/2012 - Published: 12/20/2010
supply and demand by fusedtwilight reviews
Alex and Carlos both need money and they need it fast. The solution? Carlos will have sex for money and Alex will help him find clients. Sounds easy right? Wrong.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 446,993 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/25/2012 - Published: 7/10/2010
Number Two Lead by Jesus and his Lawyers reviews
A conversation between a pen and a mechanical pencil. (AKA: the one with the awkward dialogue tags)
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Complete
How to Survive Sheep That Are Out For Your Blood by AquariusGirl230191 reviews
A slightly exaggerated tale of my real life encounter with an angry sheep. First attempt at writing anything in the comedy genre but I hope it makes you smile. Please R&R :
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,389 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/17/2012 - Complete
Your Vampire Guardian: Undone Harm by DarkXLight reviews
Sequel to Your Vampire Guardian. The world is saved, but what of a shattered soul? Complete, please R & R.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 32 - Words: 44,455 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Complete
Your Vampire Guardian by DarkXLight reviews
A vampire prodigy unexpectantly winds up in a tangled mess to save something she never expected that leads to the secrets of her unknown past. Complete, please R & R.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 52 - Words: 76,572 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/17/2010 - Published: 5/13/2009 - Complete
Creation by Written reviews
At first, it was the things no one would miss, like HIV and cancer and that little opera house in North Minneapolis.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Complete
Pippa by Written reviews
-ONESHOT- I got to thinking about my life. Thinking about how I've got stories, sometimes too many and sometimes all at once, and how I don't want to die without telling someone.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,817 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Complete
Angel on my Shoulder by Meghann McCall reviews
A young lesbian comes to terms with the death of her best friend. I wrote this story for a college class.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,979 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/16/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Leaf's Tapes
Welcome to the International Institute of the Mentally Ill. Leaf McGregor was one of our patients. Leaf was diagnosed with severe depression. Her parents could not help her, so she came to the IIMI. Before coming and in her stay here, she recorded several tapes. We are now about to play what she recorded. Rated M for depression and potentially sensitive topics.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 903 - Published: 1/28
Canon in D Major reviews
This may not make much sense. I was listening to Canon in D Major by Pachelbel and just started writing. I wonder if anyone thinks the same way about it as I do...
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/12/2012 - Complete
Untitled reviews
A small story that's been bugging me for ages. I wanted to get it out. Very cynical piece about the state of humanity. Enjoy?
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Complete
Five Word Descriptions
Describing friends, family, and my characters in five word sentences. Full description and disclaimer inside.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Published: 6/21/2012
Can't Solve This Feeling reviews
Just a song I wrote.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Complete
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Community: WriteABit
Focus: Fiction Fantasy