Hey guys, welcome to my page :D

Stuff about me:

I'm an 80yr old trans who is currently very bored and oh wait- =/

I tend to be rather cynical but I can also be very very very nice. -ahem- My most outstanding trait (in this case being the one that stands out the most, not the 'best' trait) is that I take many things literally. I don't take every single thing literally, but during arguements, they're my favourite method. I'm also said to have a morbid of humour, a very good sense of humour, and no sense of humour. Of course, some of these opinions may be a little biased... -ahem-

I can often do things without thinking so if I offend anyone, I apologise here and now. (Of course, if you're someone who deserved it, then I'll take it back.) Would sarcasm come under 'humour'? To me it's a kind of dry humour and something that I've been using quite a lot recently...

Stories:
I enjoy humour the most, seconded by fantasy (only if well written though). I dislike romance-based stories (see above) but if there's romance in a good story, bring it on. I've uploaded one story - 'Living Marie' - and will upload another soon!

Music:
I'm a percussionist and until recently, I focused on mallets. Now, having increased my confidence and self esteem ("Do you hear the people groan?"), I tend to hog most of the snare/P.1 parts. xD I also play the piano, as well as the violin (for a year, in yr3).

Excuses:
Having done all my exams, gotten all my reports/results and NaNoWriMo... I really have no excuse left. D:

Quotes:

"...My lips are sealed by oath. But you can't let me drown in orange juice! It is not a manly death!" -Year of the Griffin by Diana Wynne Jones

Kyprioth: on the benefits of gods "...I am good for flowers. :D" Aly: "So is manure." -Trickster's Queen by Tamora Pierce

Pirates of the Caribbean Quotes:

Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.

Davy Jones: I cannot be summoned like some... mongrel pup!
Lord Cutler Beckett: Apparently, you can.

Lord Culter Beckett: Advise your brethren. You can fight, and all of you will die... or you can not fight, in which case only most of you will die. Uh huh. And that just makes it SOO much better.

Will Turner: Why don't you both go ashore, and leave the ship in my command? Temporarily. Sparrow's finally starting to rub onto him..

Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Mortogg: I said no lies.
Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us. Ahh, but he just did.. xD

-Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all. That's like the pot calling the kettle black!

Davey Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow -thinks for a moment- Yep. I'm good with it.

Jack Sparrow: Nobody move! Dropped me brain. Okaaaaay...that's just creepy

Jack Sparrow: MY PEANUT!! Aaaaaand that's even more creepier

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: -hands him bottle of rum-

Jack Sparrow: -sees Elizabeth- Quick! Hide the rum!

Gibbs: And what makes you think you're good enough to crew the Black Pearl?
Very old man: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out, see the world while I'm still young. Riight. So if you consider yourself to be young.. then how old is old? ._."

Jack Sparrow: -to cannibals- Alas, my children! This is the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost...-splashed by wave-...Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jack Sparrow: Scarlet...-gets slapped- I'm not sure I deserved that. -blond woman approaches- Giselle...
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What? -gets slapped- I may have deserved that.

Scarlett and Giselle are fightin while Jack watches the Pearl sail away
Jack Sparrow: Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me.
-to Giselle- Yes, I lied to you.
-to Scarlett- No, I don't love you.
-to Giselle- Of course it makes you look fat.
-to Scarlet- I've never been to Brussels.
-to Giselle- It is pronounced "egregious".
-to Scarlett- By the way, no. I've never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.
-to both- And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy? -gets slapped by both- lol, and people say that men can't multi-task...unless he isn't really a man... :O

Scarlet: -to Will Turner- Jack Sparrow you say? No, I haven't seen him. Well, if you see him, give him this message for me will you? -slaps him- Ouchie

Jack Sparrow: Why should I go back with you? 4 of you tried to kill me! One of you succeeded. Who knew pirates could be angsty... =/

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship! Heheh, lol. Poor birdie...-snickers-

Elizabeth: Will!
Will Turner: Elizabeth!
Jack Sparrow: Monkey! Oh dear, he's finally snapped...

Anyhow, I have to go. My brother's (Guess his gender. You guessed wrong.) to cook an egg. 30 seconds in and he's already in trouble. -_-" Cya!

-Ducky.