'Ello, darlings!

Well, I'm guessing that unless you clicked this by accident, you wanted to know more about me. Well, here goes:

My name is Michelle and I'm fourteen years old. I'm currently living in China. I have straight black hair and almond-shaped brown eyes. I love listening to music, reading, and writing.

What's your favorite book(s)?

-Night World Series, Vampire Diaries, Hunger Games, Uglies, Inkheart, Vampire Chronicles, Gifted, Maximum Ride.

Your favorite TV show?

-LOST, Vampire Diaries, House MD.

What song are you listening to now?

-Fireflies - Owl City

What type of songs do you like?

Anything but Classical and Justin Beiber. Mostly Rock and Underground Techno.

If you are addicted to vampires, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

What I really need is minions...

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

7/5 of all people do not understand fractions.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

If this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it.

Why get even when you can get odd?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If time is on your side, what's on the other?

How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't (and doesn't plan to), copy and paste this in your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

LADIES don't start fights, we FINISH them.

Do you remember when Pluto was a planet? Yeah, those were the days...

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone!

This is funny!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda.

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look effin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

"On the count of 3"
"Why 3?"
"That's just the way it works,"
"Why not five?"
"Are you new here?"

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?".

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

I forgot to remember.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Silence is golden but Duct tape is silver.

I see dumb people.

Tiny unicorns goring his bronchial tubes would be cooler.

I intend to live forever...so far so good!

Do vegetarians eat animals crackers?

Of course I'm talking to myself...who else can I trust?

Having a smoking section in a restraurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.

Hug a tree: they have less issues than people.

Dear Santa,
If you leave a bike under the tree I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Timmy

I had a GREAT dream about you last night! I was bashing your head into a wall! Yeah, it was great...

If a man speaks in a forest, and no women is around to hear him, is he still wrong?

Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it.

Awesome; without me, my friends are just aweso.

I'd tell you I'm stalking you, but I don't think that would go over well.

I never finish anyth

696 I'm evil, and twisted.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

lol; the perfect thing to type when there's nothing else to say.

It's funnier now that I get it.

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you don't have anything to put in it.
She said: You wear pants, don't you?

Will eat for food.

By the time you read this, you've already read it.

Practice safe lunch: use condiments.

We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet.

They don't know that we know they know we know.

When life gives you lemons, keep them. 'Cause, hey, free lemons.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Please don't throw your cigerate butts on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.

The guy may wear the pants in a relationship, but the girl controls the zipper.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

It's a shame stupidity isn't painful...

Please, keep talking! I always yawn when I'm interested!

10 reasons to procrastinate:
1.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic.

CAUTION: Highly Awesome. Keep away from all UNAWESOME material.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.
He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone's unique in their own unique way. Therefore, being unique is not all that unique...

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Common sense is not so common.

He would make a lovely corpse.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Ponder on this...

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called Him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared Him...

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ignore Him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny Me before man, I will deny you before My Father in Heaven..."

So believe in GOD!! He made everything possible.

I wrote your name in the sky
But the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
But the waves swept it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
And it lasted forever.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Let me tell you a story about four friends of mine: Everybody, Nobody, Anybody, and Somebody. They were good friends and all lived in the same town.
A new person was going to move into their town, and they needed a house. Everybody thought Somebody would build it, and Somebody thought Anybody would build it. But, in the end, Nobody built it.
So, Everybody was mad at Somebody because Nobody did the job Anybody could have done.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity, Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr waht oerdr the ltteres of a wrod are in, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

I want a man that when I come running up to him with tears streaming down my face, the first thing he says is, "Baby, whose ass do I have to kick?"

Life's too short and nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bull crap, and never have regrets, because at one point what you did was exactly what you wanted.

I name inanimate objects.

If you get really good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile. (I wonder is a cat could beat up a monkey? I swear i just saw a robotic viking... OMFG Theres a dragon- Hmm? I'm sorry, did you say something?)

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. (I didnt scream though! I just made this sort of "Uuunnnnghooooomfff" noise)

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile (The scary thing is it has come-backs... O.o)

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile (Girls can multi-task)

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree but you've done this, too, copy this and put it in your profile. (Its true. Is not!. Yeah it is. Your making yourself sound like a raving lunatic! Your point being? Shut up, Emily. Make me. Listen, if I go down I'm taking you with me. Bring it! Hits self in head with frying pan)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. (... Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!... So yeah, here I am. Laughing to myself in the dark at 11pm. Thats normal, right?)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are on Team Damon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Damon Salvatore ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If the only thing you think about is the Vampire Diaries series copy and past this to your profile.

If you are in LOVE with Damon Salvatore copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Elena and Damon were meant to be together, copy this into your profile!

If you think Damon Salvatore is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a paper cut, and sucked on the blood, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy and paste these if you are obsessed with Damon Salvatore!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (I don't mean to be conceited.)
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at housework.
I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.
I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.
I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring.

Well, damn. That must have at least DOUBLED my profile size... cool!

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call.

FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life.
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days...”

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, bitch, run, you're getting wet!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "Damn it, we messed up, but that was frickin' awesome! We are so doing that again!"

FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel.
BEST FRIENDS: Just sits down and cries.

FRIENDS: Would tell off your stalker for you.
BEST FRIENDS: Would tell you how to tease them and mess with their minds.

FRIENDS: Turn down the music when you ask them to.
BEST FRIENDS: Turn it up instead of down and smiles.

35 Things to do when your in Walmart! - UPDATED-

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

79 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

39. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

40. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

41.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

42. Shave.

43. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

44. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

45. One word: Flatulence!

46. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

47. Do Tai Chi exercises.

48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"

49. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

50. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

51. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

52. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

53. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

54. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

55. Leave a box between the doors.

56. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

57. Start a sing-along.

58. Play the harmonica.

59. Lean against the button panel.

60. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

61. Bring a chair along.

62. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

63. Blow spit bubbles.

64. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

65. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

66. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.

67. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

68. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

69. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.

70. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"

71. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.

72. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.

73. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe.

74. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.

75. Make chalk drawings on the walls.

76. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, darn it!"

77. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

78. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.

79. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

Mary-Lynette: Do I ever cross your mind?

Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Do you like me?

Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Do you want me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you cry if I left?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you live for me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Would you do anything for me?
Ash: No

Mary-Lynette: Choose--me or your life

Ash: My life

Mary-Lynette runs away in shock and pain and Ash runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now isn’t that the cutest thing you've ever read! I love Mary-Lynette and Ash!

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A boyfriend stabs your heart
Best Friends only poke each other with straws

If you are a Vampire Addict, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

If you truely believe, there is a John Quinn or Ash Redfern or James Rasmussen or Morgead Blackthorn or a Galen Drache somewhere for you (doesn't mean his name has to be the same) copy this into your profile.

If you want to be a Wild Power, Copy and Paste this to your profile

If you LOVE JEZ REDFERN, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think LJ smith deserves More credit for her Awesome work, copy and paste this to your profile

If you Can't wait for Strange Fate, Copy and paste this to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

~If you are addicted to vampires and/or werewolves and would like to be one, copy and paste.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people looked at you weird, copy and paste this into your profile

If you really hate those e-mails that say 'Make a wish! If you don't send this to 50 people in 1 minute, it won't come true!', but still send it on anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished a book character was real so, so, so incredibly bad, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever said a totally random comment that had nothing to do with the conversation for no reason whatsoever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If, you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this into your profile

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something and people have told you that you are crazy copy this to your profile.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I don't forgive people because I'm weak; I forgive them because I'm strong enough to realize people make mistakes.

Friends believe in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong, but just remember: life goes on.

Life's too short and nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bull crap, and never have regrets, because at one point what you did was exactly what you wanted.

Sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic; but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.

If you think Morgead Blackthorn is better than Edward Cullen, copy and paste this to your profile (Morgead is way more manly and sexier than Edward)

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

On with it!

This story is Amazing

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I ran with scissors - and lived!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say physco like it's a bad thing...

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho - things even out.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!"

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I intend to live forever...so far so good

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you

I am not weird... just plotting

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

If you think TV golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If mythical creatures exist (dragons, unicorns, phoenixes, etc.), copy this onto your profile!

- My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

- You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

- A day without light is, well, night

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end