It was JUST supposed to be my good deed of the week, but now I can't escape the little demon. I think he might be stalking me. This is all Jiminy Cricket's fault, with his "let your conscience be your guide" hocus-pocus. Anybody forget that Pinnochio wound up inside a whale? I did ... then again, he became a REAL BOY, so maybe Cricket was onto something. Satan's spawn has promise.

"Well, I would just like to point out that, with this insane plan of mine, we're all likely going to die. We'll probably be tortured and then served as the main course at the banquet, so I guess there's that to look forward to. Yay. So we'll all probably be dead this time tomorrow. If any of you have second thoughts now's the time ... No? I guess we're all stupid, too. Congrats."

He broke my sister's heart. So I broke his million dollar car. ... It seemed like a fair trade at the time.

"You're stuck with me. Like Elmer's Glue."

It started with a scalding hot cup of coffee ...

... Okay, in retrospect, there are likely MUCH easier ways to get the attention of a very beautiful man who happens to be standing in the near vicinity. But speaking in a demonic voice when locked in a broken elevator with the only light being our phones probably shouldn't have been anywhere on that list ...

There's a hot guy, one you haven't seen before, walking towards you and dozens of scenarios go through your head as to why he is. None of those ideas are anywhere close to the actual reason. "Hey," he says, voice deep and husky as he smiles awkwardly. You can't come up with a coherent. "Whatever you do, don't freak out." And then he's kissing you. Um . . . What the freaking heck?