ren360
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-31-11, id: 763138, Profile Updated: 07-16-12
Author has written 3 stories for Humor, and Romance.


Welcome to the dark meanders of what is known as my profile. As you might later learn, my mind is not very easily kept up with. I'm strong-headed, often awkward, and have a very particular point of opinion. Hopefully, you'll be able to keep up with me. Y
ou're not knowing where I live or what my name is, my age or my gender. What you will be told is all you possibly need to know, and it goes as follows:

I don't have any particular grudge against twilight. I think it was a pretty good book as far as vampire books go, and I think queasy 13 year-old girls will all agree with me. But don't get me STARTED on the movie. Seriously, Wyck Godfrey owes me 122 freaking minutes of my life.

Like any good writer, I like to read a lot, so if that categorizes me into the 'nerd' section, so be it. My favorite sections are science fiction, romance (Believe it or not, reader, the making of a good, non-cheesy, original structured romance book is a fine art the world has yet to learn) and terror books. I also enjoy terror movies.

When it comes to writting, I believe that a story should be used as an escape from every day life into a new world, should it be an Elf world or a parallel universe, or a civilization found on the moon, an under-sea city, whatever. I think non-ficiton books are boring and greyer than my aunt Rosilda.

I have a weird, yet compulsive addiction to mustaches. Hell, if I could grow a mustache, I'd spend the days of my life stroking it in public. I have a giant stuffed mustache on top of my bed, courtesy of a friend, and a thousand cheesy mustahce-related quotes I could share with you, but I think I'll just shave them for later. (Sorry.)

I like to draw, and paint. And take pictures. I suck at it, but I like it, so everybody else's opinion doesn't really matter. I like abstract paintings, but only if they're good, and you can tell someone worked hard on it. If you give me a blank frame with a few red dots splattered across the center I'm very likely to throw it back at you.

I have a soft spot for villains. If created correctly, I think I can be subdued to vouch for the villain instead of the hero. In truth, they're often the best part of the entire story, and occasionally out-shadow the protagonist in the movie. Even though that might make ME sick and twisted, I find their sarcastic, sinisterly brilliant minds an awful lot interesting. My favorite? the JOKER, by far.

Though I'm sure you couldn't possibly care less, I'd like to mention my best friend and possibly the only intimate relationship I'll ever be allowed to have, Woody. (Yes, like the Disney Movie, harr, harr.) He's my dog. And my profile picture. And, quite humbly, really, he's epic. He's a West Highland White Terrier with an unexplained grudge against pigeons and his own reflection. He can't stay white for more than five minutes and always eats like there's no tomorrow. He manages to wake up on top of my face every morning and is more of a couch potato than even me. Which is saying something.

Finally, be aware that I do NOT copy-paste. Quite frankly, I couldn't give a smaller shit if you "Copy-Pasted this into your profile if you think there is an Edward Cullen out there for you." Cool story, bro. Not our problem.

For now, adiué. You had to courage to enter my own bizarre world of illogical insanity and safely made it out, a great achievement in its standards. I hope you enjoy my writting as well as my poetry and if you have anything to say to me you can PM me any time you want. Except on Saturdays, 'cause I'm usually asleep most of the day.

Want a piece of advice? If you're good at something, never do it for free.


Hope we're clear.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ruined Fairy Tales by Sex and Candy reviews
My fairy tale was supposed to go differently. I was supposed to be kidnapped by an evil sorcerer, get rescued by a dashing young prince and live happily ever after. I was NOT supposed to be kidnapped by a lunatic prince, or rescued by an 'evil' sorcerer.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41,044 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 4/28/2011
Chasing Lavender by cyberwriter97 reviews
story is currently be pondered over by your author until she gets her head together :-D
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,675 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/28/2012 - Published: 11/26/2011
BE003 by cyberwriter97 reviews
story is currently be pondered over by your author until she gets her head together :-D
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 47,329 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/16/2012 - Published: 7/18/2011
Busted by Katharine Allison reviews
Exactly what the title says - a poem about getting busted. Inspired by my friend.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 301 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Complete
A Glassy Perspective by Emilys-world-of-disbelief reviews
We've all dropped or knocked over a glass before, but has anyone ever wondered about how the glass felt? A short poem about the thoughts running of a glass about to fall off the kitchen table.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Complete
Skulls in the Closet by RentBoheme reviews
Winner of the first ever SKoW prompt contest! It's New Year's Eve, and Ralph has made a resolution: he's going to stop digging up skulls from graves. Will he be able to do this? Written by Morine and RentBoheme
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,385 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Under The Rain reviews
Rain was one of the things he loved. It was so full of color, so full of smells, textures. If you stood in it, alone, it was like time stood still. Nothing mattered for a while. You were completely engulfed by it, and everything was better when it rained. The trees were greener, the bark was darker. Just like he remembered it. Because you asked for it, my best shot at romance!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2013 - Complete
Useless Poems for Useless People reviews
You see the title? Click it, reader, it's calling your name, for I doubt you will see such a title again. If you don't believe me, go ahead and try! And then we will see if what I said was a lie. STORY HAS BEEN PUT ON HALT FOR, UH... "SPRING CLEANING."
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 5,117 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/22/2012 - Published: 7/2/2011
Dear Mom and Dad reviews
You might have noticed this is categorized under "humor." I'd like to apologize for that; but seeing as how Fictionpress's failed in thinking of the need of adding an 'insanity' category, I'm afraid this'll have to do. Hopefully you won't be disappointed.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Complete