Amy Stardust
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-24-11, id: 766339, Profile Updated: 11-11-11
Author has written 1 story for Humor.

Female, 14


Here are the links to my FanFiction Profile:

http://www.fanfiction.net/~amystardust

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2695107/

They're the same though. :)


Aah! I forgot to mention my deviantART!

http://www.fanficeramystardust.deviantart.com/


Profile Pic:

You Dropped My Cheezburger by La-Vita-a-Bella on DeviantArt


E-mail me:

twoauthorsunited@yahoo.com

If ever you do e-mail me, please write my penname and 'FP' in the subject. Thank you! XD


Funny Quotes:

1. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

2. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

3. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

4. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

5. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

6. Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

7. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

8. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

9. "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

10. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

11. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

12. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

13. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

14. I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!

15. How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

16. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

17. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

18. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

19. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

20. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

21. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

22. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

23. If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

24. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

25. Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.


Jokes from the Net:

(Handpicked for you to enjoy. :D)

1. I’d noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother.

"Things haven’t changed that much," she said. "Only difference is, before, he didn’t listen. Now, he can’t."

2. An out-of-town fellow pilot missed a turn to his gate at LaGuardia Airport in New York, a harmless mistake that nonetheless ruffles the feathers of the ground controllers. I heard one of the controllers, a woman, holler through the radio, "Where do you think you're going?" She followed with a torrent of harshly worded instructions.

Then came a third voice. "Hey," an unidentified pilot remarked, "wasn't I married to you once?"

3. I got stuck in a traffic jam while commuting into Los Angeles one day. The woman in the SUV in front of me took full advantage of the slowdown. She whipped out her eyebrow pencil, lip gloss and a mirror, applying the finishing touches on her face in the ten minutes it took us to creep through the Cahuenga Pass. Finally, the traffic broke up and as she zoomed away, I caught a glimpse of her vehicle's license plate: NTRL BTY.

4. After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?"

"Neither," she said. "It's a fish."

5. I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a Saturday night, I was finishing up the dinner shift at one restaurant and hurrying to report to work at the second place. But I was delayed because one table kept sending back an order of hash browns, insisting they were too cold. I replaced them several times, but still the customers were dissatisfied. When I was able to leave, I raced out the door and arrived at my second job. A server immediately handed me my first order. "Make sure these hash browns are hot," she said, "because these people just left a restaurant down the street that kept serving them cold ones."

6. My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about 1,500 at a given time.

Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about 5,000 in it."

7. My musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of our percussionists. Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally, in front of the orchestra, the director said in frustration, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument, they take it away, give him two sticks and make him a drummer!"

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

8. My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he's the one who truly lives, eats and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day. "No, not there," he directed. "Scroll down."

9. There were three fathers-to-be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, “Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, “Where's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

10. A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black..."

11. Two blondes were going to the mall. When they got out of the car, they started tossing the car keys back and forth. One of the blondes missed, and the keys flew into the sewer drainpipe.

The other blonde tried to reach it but couldn't. So, she called a locksmith, and a cop. When the two got there, the blondes explained what happened, then the cop tried to reach the keys but couldn't.

Finally the locksmith opened the door. The blonde that missed the keys in the first place said,"Whew... for a second there I thought we might have needed to use the SPARE key." ;)

12. One day a blonde office worker comes out to the warehouse to walk around. As she is walking she looks up and sees a co-worker hanging upside down from an I-Beam in the ceiling.

She asks "What ARE you doing"?

The co-worker says "I need a few days off but the boss won't let me have them so I'm hanging upside down from this I-Beam acting crazy.

The boss will see me, think I need rest and send me home for a few days".

The blonde says "That won't work...uh ohh...here comes the boss now, you're in for it".

The boss spots the blonde looking up and sees the man hanging up there and asks him "Just WHAT do you think you are DOING?!"

The man says (in a "crazy" voice) I'm a light bulb...I'm a light bulb"

The boss says "Buddy, you need some rest..take the rest of today and tomorrow off and get some sleep".

As he is climbing down he winks at the blonde showing her it worked.

The blonde thinks about this for a moment and starts to follow the man out the door.

The boss asks her "WHERE do you think YOU'RE going?"

The blonde says "I can't work in the dark".


I'll add more next time! :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I'm With the Band by Eternally Immortal reviews
Ceri is the new girl at school with hopes of having a normal senior year. However, her plans for normalcy are spoiled when Ceri meets five boys who make up Roy G. Biv, the next up and coming band. Which boy will Ceri choose?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,344 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 1/20/2013 - Published: 7/11/2011
It Was Only a Kiss by jammi reviews
What not to do when trying to show you can be independent: 1. Go to a party with the girl who wants to stomp your best friend. 2. Accept Jello from said girl 3. Kiss the cutie with the anger issues and no concept of personal space. It will not end well.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 312,640 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 1/6/2013 - Published: 3/24/2008
Get to Know Me by Something About Chelsea reviews
Hello, my name is Ivy Green, Lexie White, and Ginger Brown. No, I don't have Multiple Personality Disorder. I work as a dancer at a club, I own a website fraught with gossip, and I'm a senior in high school, forming a new cheerleading squad to outshine 'Miss Thang.'
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 86,844 - Reviews: 496 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 8/7/2009 - Complete
The Heart Breaker Association by GermanSam reviews
Charlotte "Charlie" runs an organization that takes and breaks the heart of men who deserve it making them into "husband material". Everything is great until one boy comes along and makes Charlie think about what she's done. *Full summary inside*
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 12/13/2012 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Complete
Getting Sick From Bieber Fever by ItWasOnlyADream reviews
OMG! Tiffani, is, like, totally in love with Justin Bieber. But he doesn't even know who she is! That's a major problem. So Tiffani will stop at nothing to be reunited with the love of her life! Warning: Written by a person who does not like Justin Bieber
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,370 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 7/26/2010
So Typical by Something About Chelsea reviews
When the two clichéd stereotypes, popular jock and socially awkward nerd, are forced together through an assignment in lab, chaos arises. Throw in a forgotten past, a bitchy cheerleader, three best friends, an identical cousin, and a few other dramatic situations, and you get a Typical, confused brain.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 102,092 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 262 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 8/11/2012 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Complete
The Game by Chlobuggy reviews
When Jenna was little, she was tormented by her mom's friend's sons. They moved away and 8 years later, they're back - hotter than ever. Jenna hasn't forgotten what they did and vows to get them back. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,001 - Reviews: 425 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 6/11/2011 - Complete
Almost Close by wildyoungthings reviews
She's just a new girl at a prep school for the haute and the hot . He's totally unapproachable, stuck-up, and the most beautiful boy she's ever seen. Can Darby Connor fight off her feelings for Mitchell Wise, the one guy she shouldn't be falling for?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,729 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/1/2012 - Published: 4/30/2011
All Along by KNE reviews
Neely Donovan isn’t interested in the whole popularity ordeal considering that her twin brother was one of the hottest guys that attended their school. But falling for the most popular guyand her bro's best friend was the last thing on her mind.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 211,055 - Reviews: 4779 - Favs: 3,565 - Follows: 1,726 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 8/20/2004
Out of control by akiraasato reviews
My life is a complete mess! When I found out that my long lost best friend Daniel, my first love and the school's hottest jerk and in the same time, the guy I hate was only one person! THIS IS HORRIBLE.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,886 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 3/29/2012 - Published: 4/25/2011
Kyle and Orville by Luna Carn reviews
What does it mean if zombies invade your dreams? How can one tie a tie without choking? Does talking to plants really help them grow? These are just a few of the things that Kyle and Orville Flynn want to learn.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 47 - Words: 35,843 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Complete
Solid by JessieBo reviews
Seeley has finally found where she belongs. She has a happy family, and a great friend, and has a boyfriend in the world famous band L!qu!d. But what happens when Seeley faces a life altering decision? How will she handle the prospects? SEQUEL TO LIQUID.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 54,623 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 12/25/2010 - Complete
Follow Me Down by FictionRose reviews
. "Why don't you get a job?" - "Why don't you get a boyfriend?" - "I can't." - "Why not?" Because I love you, moron. Sydney is in love with Ryder, Ryder has decided Sydney is his new source of amusement for the next three weeks. Wonderful.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 55,541 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 11/12/2011 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Complete
The Tiny Wings Bird by Luna Carn reviews
Wherein my brother and I debate the more ambiguous aspects of the protagonist of one of his iPhone games.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/1/2011 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Complete
Athena's Enigma by GermanSam reviews
Would it be cool to be the child of a Greek God and have the ability to read minds? Reality check: It's not. I just want to be normal...so fake-dating a guy is normal...right? Side Story to Cupid's Granddaughter *Full Summary Inside*
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 630 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 10/9/2010 - Complete
Cupid's Granddaughter by GermanSam reviews
I'm like every other person who was forced into their profession. I hate it, the hours are long, I work for my grandfather, and I'm not allowed to fall in love. Piece of cake right? *Full Summary Inside*
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 673 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Complete
How to Deal With An Annoying Guy by TheGirlYouOnceKnew reviews
I will! I'll get you, Addie! I'll get you someday!", he shouted. Why couldn't I shake the feeling that his words had a double meaning? I shook my head out of that thought and replied in my ever-so-sweet voice, "Can't wait."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 31,781 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/16/2011 - Published: 3/18/2011 - Complete
The Postponed Field Trip by JowieGirl reviews
Written a few minutes after I heard that our should-have-been-awesome field trip was postponed due to bad weather. The worst part? They told us the news the day before the field trip.
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/22/2011 - Complete
The Blonde Romeo by HannahKayy reviews
Anna has loved Jeffery all her life. He is her older brother's best friend and seemingly doesn't know she exists. Her friend forces her to try out for the play Romeo and Juliet...and the rest, as they say, is history.R & R
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 37,062 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/18/2011 - Published: 5/13/2011 - Complete
Borders of Protection by Caramel Supernova reviews
At 11 years old, Ethan has been trained to be able to protect the princess of the country. After 7 years, not much has changed. Except for the thin line that borders loyalty and love. Set in modern times.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,242 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 5/27/2011 - Complete
Calendar Girl by Caramel Supernova reviews
June Carrison is not a big fan of movies. And it doesn't help that her mother is a well-known director. This summer though, all June's plans take a turn for the worse when she meets one of the hottest teen actors of the year.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 45,888 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 5/21/2010
I Really Do Hate You by JessieBo reviews
She was America's sweetheart. He was the rich playboy. So what happens when their parents decide an arranged marriage could make them even richer? Well, it means living together for two years, and trying to keep certain matters secret. Good luck with that
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 77,842 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 5/15/2011 - Published: 9/14/2010 - Complete
Liquid by JessieBo reviews
Seeley was the hated, poor girl at the elite Wills Prepatory School. L!qu!d was the world famous boy band. So what happens when Seeley gets the job as backup dancer in a L!qu!d music video? It means bitchy girls, hot guys, and too many cameras to count.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 71,110 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 12/25/2010 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Complete
Measured Magic by Caramel Supernova reviews
Sabe's Worst Regret Ever: Rubbing an old sardine can and unleashing a very annoying & cocky genie. Sabe's 2nd Worst Regret Ever: Finding that cocky genie unbelievably and irresistably hot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,805 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 11/6/2010 - Published: 5/31/2010
Not Quite Off the Hook by lulu.lemon reviews
Senior Year: Feelings that still exist, new characters in the picture, built up anger and sarcasm, drama, love...not so much love. Sandra gone... or is she? Who knew one hook up could cause so much drama? SEQUEL TO HOOKED ON HIM! -Will re-write soon!-
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 190,508 - Reviews: 1685 - Favs: 564 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Complete
Hooked on Him by lulu.lemon reviews
Moved to a new town to live with my Dad. Went to a party. Got a tad bit drunk. Hooked up with some guy, only to find out that my Dad happens to be his football coach and he just happens to practically live at my house...Problem? Yes. -Will re-write soon!-
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 84,922 - Reviews: 949 - Favs: 773 - Follows: 298 - Updated: 6/11/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Complete
Girl for Hire by belle.nisce reviews
They're together - only for the press. But she doesn't fit in to his world - and he makes sure it stays that way. Everybody is against them - including themselves, so really, what's the best that can come out of what they have - which is nothing? CH12 UP!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,513 - Reviews: 822 - Favs: 795 - Follows: 989 - Updated: 1/15/2009 - Published: 4/27/2007
Complications by Ravina reviews
No spark?" he asked, sounding curious. "Huh?" "When we did the whole hand-shaking thing...no spark?" "No...none." What an absolutely awkward conversation to have with a guy I had known for 10 minutes. "Well that clears things up then. We'll be friends."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,477 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
The Trip reviews
Bella's having a bad day. It must be bad luck. But does this mean that her trip will be full of bad luck, too... because she found out about it today?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,057 - Reviews: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/27/2011 - Published: 3/26/2011