Author has written 3 stories for Humor, Song, and Humor.
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(ε ) ladidoooo ( θ)ノ ladidaaa!! LADIDOOO! LADIDAAA!! LADIDOWEQSDBQWRLBEJLRBFWELJRBFJLBERERIHEWR!
... ZO MY GOODNESS, HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE ALL THIS TIME?!
웃 Alright, LOOK AT THIS GUY. You see him? Great. You see, this is Flipertino. Oh, don't get me wrong, Fliper is a nice little fellow. Very polite. However, Fliperoo made the terrible mistake of stalking me once. You know what happened?
Flippy go byebye.
OH, I'M JUST JOKING AROUND!! You know I love you guys! And I feel special now that you have taken the liberty to stalk me (з)- *
Alright, so...yeah. And junk.
WUT UP! I'm aMy, if you're wondering. Now, I won't share any personal info. I mean, COME ON, which one of you guys is REALLY interested in what my favorite color is?
I thought as much.
(IT'S PURPLE d(_o)
Well, I hope you like my stories!! I put sweat, blood and tears to create them, so treat them like you want them to treat you.
Golden rule conquers all, babeh.
"Old aunts used to come to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs, and cackle "YOU'RE NEXT!" They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals."
Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
ALRIGHT, FOLKS, HERE'S THE DEAL. Don't try to reason with me, I'm hopeless ;D I write whatever nannywanger pops into my mind and even the ones that don't.
I dont usually write poetry, but if I'm feeling weird I just might scribble down a word or two. Or three or four. Or sixteen, but who's counting?
I AM. MOVING ON.
Aw, well, if you wanted to know about me that desperately you found a need to stalk me, I guess i can share a few harmless facts ;D
I like cheese.
I like grilled cheese.
I like ham.
I like grilled ham. (is that even possible? THE HELL. I LIKE IT.)
I J'ADORE CHOCOLATE.
I HATE cheese and ham sandwiches.
I HATE MUSTARD
I HATE PICKLES
I HATE YOU
I LIKE CHOCOLATE.
LET'S NOT FORGET THE CHEESE.
96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandpa, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
It's only funny until someone gets hurt...THEN IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS.
You gotta kiss many frogs before you find your pig.
I once thought I was wrong...But I was mistaken.
I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what people wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you're wondering as you wonder what I'm wondering, if, of course, you're even wondering what I'm wondering.
Hm, I wonder...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
\m/ Ò.ó \m/
THANKZ 4 STOPPING BY!! Remember, you're not an ugly person, you're a BEAUTIFUL monkey. Don't you forget it, now.
:.｡. o()o .｡.*