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Joined 04-13-11, id: 772701, Profile Updated: 07-14-12
Author has written 3 stories for Humor, Song, and Humor.

α м у т α ι н σ α




웃 Alright, LOOK AT THIS GUY. You see him? Great. You see, this is Flipertino. Oh, don't get me wrong, Fliper is a nice little fellow. Very polite. However, Fliperoo made the terrible mistake of stalking me once. You know what happened?

Flippy go byebye.


OH, I'M JUST JOKING AROUND!! You know I love you guys! And I feel special now that you have taken the liberty to stalk me (з)- *

Alright, so...yeah. And junk.

WUT UP! I'm aMy, if you're wondering. Now, I won't share any personal info. I mean, COME ON, which one of you guys is REALLY interested in what my favorite color is?

I thought as much.

(IT'S PURPLE d(_o)

Well, I hope you like my stories!! I put sweat, blood and tears to create them, so treat them like you want them to treat you.

Golden rule conquers all, babeh.

"Old aunts used to come to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs, and cackle "YOU'RE NEXT!" They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals."

Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.


ALRIGHT, FOLKS, HERE'S THE DEAL. Don't try to reason with me, I'm hopeless ;D I write whatever nannywanger pops into my mind and even the ones that don't.


I dont usually write poetry, but if I'm feeling weird I just might scribble down a word or two. Or three or four. Or sixteen, but who's counting?


Aw, well, if you wanted to know about me that desperately you found a need to stalk me, I guess i can share a few harmless facts ;D


I like cheese.


I like grilled cheese.

I like ham.

I like grilled ham. (is that even possible? THE HELL. I LIKE IT.)



I HATE cheese and ham sandwiches.







/ o
/o o

96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandpa, not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

It's only funny until someone gets hurt...THEN IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS.

You gotta kiss many frogs before you find your pig.

I once thought I was wrong...But I was mistaken.

I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what people wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you're wondering as you wonder what I'm wondering, if, of course, you're even wondering what I'm wondering.

Hm, I wonder...

Page If
Down The stairs

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(A bit late, don't ya think?!).

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(No shit, Sherlock).

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe...Oh, I dunno... Fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

\m/ Ò.ó \m/

THANKZ 4 STOPPING BY!! Remember, you're not an ugly person, you're a BEAUTIFUL monkey. Don't you forget it, now.



:.。. o()o .。.*

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Beautifully Flawed by LoveAlways03 reviews
Ok tell me what you found out' he asked keeping his eyes on the dark haired girl. 'Well she is a junior, just moved here and legal' they watched her struggle with her locker 'Oh and she is most definitely Bradley Hewitt's cousin' he smirked. Jackpot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 178,209 - Reviews: 480 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 346 - Updated: 7/8/2015 - Published: 3/11/2011
Saving from Monkeys by Jessie L. Star - AKA star123 reviews
I had known Elliot Sinclair since I was 10 and never felt any compulsion to get naked with him. What could possibly have happened last night to change that? I prodded my sozzled mind for an answer, but none was forthcoming. **Removed and now available on Amazon and Smashwords!**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 4,619 - Reviews: 1521 - Favs: 1,110 - Follows: 712 - Updated: 2/23/2014 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Complete
Dark Angels by absinthe21 reviews
He's hot, violent and frighteningly unpredictable. Everybody's scared of Gabriel Morgan, the bastard son of one of America's richest men. Well, except for Anne Meyers, a girl who sports an angelic facade to cover her true agenda. Will she be able to batter down his walls to fulfill her mission?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,172 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 11/4/2013 - Published: 9/13/2011
Teenage Mom by absinthe21 reviews
I'm Drea. Normal teen, professional slacker, etc. One day, I kinda prayed a bit too hard for a more exciting life. Then, my uber-hot, long lost friend suddenly appeared outside my sex ed class saying I had to take care of HIS BABY. Wow, God.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 114,347 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 8/11/2013 - Published: 5/28/2011
Not By Blood by ilikedaisychains reviews
"You can't kiss me!" I gasped as I pushed him away, "We're practically related!" He shrugged, "Not by blood," before he decided to continue mauling my face and somehow, have me return the gesture. Oh boy, I guess the whole 'step-sibling' thing is effectively ruined.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 75,363 - Reviews: 611 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 8/14/2011
Reverse Happy Ending by absinthe21 reviews
It's the infamous cliché: Girl falls in love with her gorgeous bully. Unfortunately for James, it doesn't work on Claire. Worse, when he confesses his feelings for her, she thinks it's a trap. Now what?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 56,582 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 6/9/2013 - Published: 10/24/2011
Game On Loverboy by MissColly reviews
[[[DISCONTINUED]]] "You've no idea what I'm capable of," She spat. Justin eyed Melissa's body, licking his lips. "Then show me, I'm all yours babe," Melissa shook her head, "Oh no. You did NOT just call me babe. It's on Cooper, the war is on!" she said furiously. "But remember, all is fair in love and war..." Justin smirked to emphasise the last word; "BABE,"
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,009 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 8/10/2012
Destined Fur More-DISCONTINUED by Inbobniac reviews
Overlooked my whole life, living in the shadow of my brother. I wasn't pretty. I wasn't smart. I loved food and was overall hostile. Maybe this is why no one bothered to tell me I was adopted? Let alone mythical creature?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 37 - Words: 99,725 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 10/15/2012 - Published: 5/12/2010
Freefly by Angry Lobster reviews
The classic tale of boy meets girl. Except girl can fly...and is being chased by evil scientists...and there's some Swedish assassins, too. This could get complicated. COMPLETE BABY!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 31 - Words: 35,703 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/20/2011 - Published: 8/22/2011 - Complete
Cupid's Granddaughter by GermanSam reviews
I'm like every other person who was forced into their profession. I hate it, the hours are long, I work for my grandfather, and I'm not allowed to fall in love. Piece of cake right? *Full Summary Inside*
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Reviews: 988 - Favs: 666 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 9/17/2011 - Published: 7/7/2010 - Complete
Hero Complex by jamaninja reviews
In a fit of sudden heroism, Miriam Porter saved a little girl from certain death. But the girl turned out to be the president's daughter. So now who's going to save Miriam from falling in love with the president's sexy son? Oh, shenanigans...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 80,624 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 883 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Complete
The Nerd Revolution by xxTunstall Chickxx reviews
Dedicated to all the closet and not-so-closeted nerds out there. Slam poem.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/24/2011
Of Dukes and Peasants by Lenah. C reviews
On the summer of 1861, six year old Serena Fallows suffered humiliation in the hands of the Duke of Norton. So what's she supposed to do when they meet years after? Why, throw a shoe at one of the most respected gentlemen in English society of course!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 90,414 - Reviews: 1112 - Favs: 1,097 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

ZE POEMS reviews
Why hello there. Hey, I don't mean to pry... But isn't that title up there glowing dark blue clearly screaming out your name? O-Oh my god, it IS! OH DEAR LORD! MAKE IT STOP! SOMEONE! ANYONE! ;D C'mon, now, give it a click. You know you want toooo C;
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,409 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/23/2012 - Published: 6/22/2011
So, he dares intrude my family, does he? HA! I don't think so, pops. I hereby solemnly pledge not to give in to his disgusting charms or obnoxious flirting. What, he thinks he can just SHOW UP one and day expect me to goosh out a toothy smile, cackle a friendly 'welcome' and laugh at his conceited jokes? Pfffffffft... Help me.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,996 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 7/3/2011
I wish I could tell you reviews
Hey there! Just a little song thingy-machingy i wrote to the tune of "Save you" by Kelly Clarkso. OH MY FISH, YOU DON'T KNOW IT! GO GOOGLE IT! NOW! please review if you're feeling happy! and even if you aren't ;D it would mean the world to me!
Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 432 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Complete