Bertie the Redwood
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Joined 04-29-11, id: 774936, Profile Updated: 08-09-18
Author has written 25 stories for Humor, Nature, Humor, Fable, Fantasy, Supernatural, Life, Love, Mystery, Sci-Fi, and Young Adult.

Hey, everybody! I'm Bertie the Redwood, and I'm a long time fiction writer. I'm currently working on getting some of my works published, so if a story has been deleted then it's either been published or it's being revised. Besides being a writer, I'm also a musician and an artist.

My most successful project has been the Dysfunctional series. The first three books (Origins, Dark Imagination, and A Mighty Long Fall) were published as a bundle on Amazon in November 2017.

Current Series in Progress:

  1. Changeling (Complete)
  2. Faery Tales (Complete)
  3. Ever After (Complete)
  4. Fairest (Pending)
  5. Gnash (Pending)

New Series in the Works:

Escape From Muna Chronicles

Teaser: How do you escape from a sentient planet that is very determined not to let you go? Rebuild a ship, sort of kidnap a pilot, and trust no one.

  1. Book 1: Lure (Pending)
  2. Book 2: Swarm (Pending)
  3. Book 3: Annihilate (Pending)
  4. Book 4: Invade (Pending)

*News on the Dysfunctional Series*

Sometime in the near-ish future, Dysfunctional: Origins is going to be published! If you've read Heathens, then you might have already heard this news. Now, though, I've got my author Facebook page up. So, if you're interested in the series, please go check it out at Author McKenzie Rae.

I will also do my best to keep info on the series updated here on this profile as well. Thanks for everybody's support. During the process of writing Dysfunctional, you all have encouraged me and made my writing better.

*Hey, look what's here!*

It's the Amazon link to Dysfunctional the Series! Click here to check it out! It's being sold in a bundle, so you will get all three books at a pretty good price, either as an ebook or a physical copy.


If you have any questions or requests, feel free to PM me.

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Ever After reviews
Leon has lost his mind, most of the changelings are catatonic, Rush is trying to avoid his debt to society, and Maggie just wants to keep everything from falling to pieces. Things have never been bleaker, especially since dark specters seem to have returned from the grave to haunt the farmhouse. Hope will either come from the unlikeliest of places, or Maggie's world will burn.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 83,751 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/9 - Published: 2/9 - Complete
Faery Tales reviews
Sequel to Changeling. Maggie and Leon are in the wind, and Rush has abandoned the other changelings inside an enchanted tree trunk. Meanwhile, Rush gets captured by the Board of Brothers and put on trial for his use of black magic. There doesn't seem to be a favorable ending in sight for any of them, but if anyone knows how to get his way, it's Rush Fairchild.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 71,409 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/4 - Published: 1/7 - Complete
Changeling reviews
Trapped in a teenage body by magic, Maggie is a human pet of the Fairchilds, a clan of faeries. As the oldest changeling, Maggie knows that survival depends on playing the game of life like a faery. Cheat when you can, and don't get caught. But what will become of the changelings when six of the Fairchilds are murdered? There isn't always a happily ever after.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 71,565 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 12/2/2017 - Complete
Dysfunctional: A Mighty Long Fall reviews
Two years later, the trio has gone their separate ways. Theo and Sally finally have the normal lives they've wanted, but the past is something that refuses to stay buried. When Reuben brings them together again, he has ominous news. The Furies have resurfaced. As they wreak havoc, the friends are forced to deal with the fallout of their actions and the uncertainty of their futures.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/1/2017 - Published: 11/23/2016 - Complete
Dysfunctional: Dark Imagination reviews
Senior year is stressful for everyone, but Reuben, Sally, and Theo have more to worry about than their peers. Peculiar things start happening when a slew of strangers show up in Coon Falls—strangers who seem to have superpowers just like them. And by the looks of things, these people aren't interested in making friends. Sequel to Origins. SAMPLE
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/1/2017 - Published: 3/6/2016 - Complete
Dysfunctional: Origins reviews
Theo is suicidal; Sally's insomnia is slowly killing her; and Reuben is an apathetic psychopath (depending on which of his doctors you ask). One day these high school students suddenly discover that they have strange superpowers that seem to have fixed their worst flaws. But where did these powers come from? And if they're the superheroes, then where is the villain?
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,380 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/1/2017 - Published: 11/1/2015 - Complete
Heathens reviews
"Violet Blaire and Simon Tate, you're under arrest for murder." New podcasters, Wayne and Ty Hooper score an interview with the infamous Violet Blaire, where she spins them a dark tale of murder and madness that might or might not be true. SAMPLE
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,914 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/19/2017 - Published: 6/11/2017 - Complete
Grimke Hollow reviews
Adam's dad was always unreliable, but something felt different this time. He hadn't returned from the family's cabin when he said he would. Worried, Adam drove up north with his five cousins to search for him. What he found were secrets and a monster that would change him forever. Beware of the goblins in the woods.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Horror/Family - Chapters: 70 - Words: 78,333 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/9/2017 - Published: 10/30/2016
Halfway to Nowhere Part I: Tales of Recovering Superhumans reviews
Elliot-a former addict and vampire; Max-an abused werewolf; Rhen-a neurotic genie; and their human supervisor, Rudy, all reside at a halfway house in an attempt to reconnect with human society after rehab. However, with such different people all under one roof, the road to recovery can sometimes be a bumpy one. EDITED!
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 14,552 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/19/2017 - Published: 12/28/2012 - Complete
The Devil You Know reviews
"Poor little Lola," he sang. "You really should have picked a better friend." He peered up at me through the greasy shield of my hair. "Don't you know you were lost from the start?"
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 81,642 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/27/2016 - Published: 11/17/2015
The Butterfly Question reviews
After Camilla washes up on the southern beach of Nocturne Harbor half dead, she wakes in the hospital with no recollection of who she is. She's content to leisurely rediscover herself, until she sees and recognizes the picture of a missing girl assumed to be dead. If there's any chance the girl is alive, Cam will have to dig for her past. But she might not like what she finds.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,763 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/29/2013 - Published: 8/12/2012
The Lottery reviews
Mica leaves the orphanage in search of her friends during the second U.S. civil war. She keeps a diary on her way to the capital, and paints a picture of her early life at the wealthy institute. However, her entries soon show a much darker side to the Angel of Mercy Orphanage, full of secrets that have been buried for 41 years. [EDITED, REVISED, AND UPDATED]
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,064 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/7/2013 - Published: 2/16/2013
Misadventures and Mistletoe
Molly Holiday is having trouble hanging Christmas lights. Ari offers to help her, but things don't go quite as Molly had planned. Fifth story in the Circus Freaks Series.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,957 - Published: 1/19/2013 - Complete
A Holiday Ghost of Christmas Past
"I'm Melinda May Holiday, but everyone calls me Molly. What's your name?" "Artemis Snow, and if I had anyone they might call me Ari." A Christmas past at the Holiday Traveling Circus. Fourth in the Circus Freaks series.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Complete
The Widow reviews
A widow thinks about her dead husband and hides from the river that killed him.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Complete
Midnight Nose Bleed reviews
"I rush to the bathroom, leaving a trail of bloody breadcrumbs."
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/6/2011 - Complete
A Very Haunted Autumn reviews
It's Halloween at the Holiday Traveling Circus! Molly notices something spooky about an old photograph. Third story in the Circus Freaks series.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/1/2011 - Complete
Ari the Thermostat reviews
"Ah," Sophia said, "so he's a tool." "No," Midas corrected her, "he's a thermostat." Second story in the Circus Freaks series. Rating went up just for one word.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,123 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Complete
From the Train
A snake tangos with a weary drifter across the tracks. REVISED
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Complete
Summer At The Circus reviews
Molly Holiday is having trouble with math. Good thing the handsome Season Shifter, Artemis Snow, is there to help. First story in the Circus Freaks series.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,744 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Complete
The City Under the Bed reviews
Don't worry about bed bugs. They're not such a fright. It's the things under your bed that really like to bite!
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Complete
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Cut Off Your Hair reviews
What really happened to Rapunzel.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: T - English - Angst/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 583 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Complete
Resume of a Superhero reviews
When Agency Blue decided to hire a superhero, this isn't the candidate they had in mind... Originally done for a contest in my ninth grade English class. I was a little surprised that I got he job, considering I made myself the worst superhero ever!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 645 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Complete
Ode to Spiders reviews
I can't say I'm too fond of the creepy crawly arachnids, but they are fascinating.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/4/2011 - Complete
Ode to the Public Restroom reviews
No one likes using public bathrooms... :
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Complete