effthatimmachill
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Joined 06-25-11, id: 783088, Profile Updated: 10-21-14
Author has written 4 stories for Romance.

If you love food, we'll get along pretty well.

To those stopping by (and I hope there are people who do else writing this will be in vain), go check out my other stories! I have lots of stories in my laptop that I doubt I'll ever publish here, and you can even use that fun fact against me because my irrepressible thoughts have kept me from updating! Lol! As much as I don't update quickly and that there's a likely chance I'll update in years, I will never abandon my stories. So you plagiarizing freaks (should there be some reading my profile), go SUCK IT. I have FictionPress data on my side. Any genius would look at the dates my stories were published. No one has plagiarized me yet - at least, not that I know of - but this is already some kind of warning. Like, hello, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes for readers to compare whose work was first.

As of right now - October 16, 2014 - I have two stories. Royally Engaged and Descartes. If you like princes who could be bitches should they ever transform into women, then go ahead, read the former. Unfortunately, the main character is bitchier. On the other hand, if you have no friends but would like to have, go read the latter. There's only one chapter, but in my mind and in my laptop the characters are my best friends. Especially Joe. (Curious about who he is? He's my husband. Kidding. But I love him. Plus, he's the bassist in the band.)

October 21, 2014 - I published a new story! It's fantasy and romance, and it's called Contract or Fate. A girl is sucked into an ancient book to fulfill a prophecy, all the while sorting her feelings for a rude warrior, whose destiny is to protect her.

(I really like to think that people take time to read these stuff.)

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Ruined Fairy Tales by Sex and Candy reviews
My fairy tale was supposed to go differently. I was supposed to be kidnapped by an evil sorcerer, get rescued by a dashing young prince and live happily ever after. I was NOT supposed to be kidnapped by a lunatic prince, or rescued by an 'evil' sorcerer.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 43,310 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 7/10/2021 - Published: 4/28/2011
It's a Cruel World, Sir by DiamondDustLove reviews
His tongue trails from the side of my chin to the corner of my mouth. I'm frozen on spot, barely breathing. When he pulls away, his eyes are the same shimmering silver I had seen the other night. My breathing spikes and his eyes dart to my mouth. Before even a thought can be processed, he leans in, pressing against me. *Full Summary Inside*
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 31 - Words: 101,401 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 5/4/2020 - Published: 12/28/2012
How to Keep a New Year's Resolution by Eeliahs reviews
After losing her boyfriend, bestfriend and a great pair of Jimmy Choos in one disasterous NYE, Hannah decides to do all the resolutions she has ever failed in one year...all eight of them. But sinful friends and a kinda cute boss never makes things easy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 1,615 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 4/10/2017 - Published: 10/23/2009 - Complete
Boys & Detentions by Nami98 reviews
He smirks. "Fine." And with that said, he shoves the detention slip down his pants, never breaking eye contact with me. Then he gives me a grin and even decides to tap his crotch. "Come and get it." WARNING: A LOT OF SWEARING
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,114 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 6/23/2016 - Published: 3/21/2012
Merboy by Live and learn reviews
Hey Kerrie?" he inquired curiously,"What's this thing between my legs .God. Somehow I just knew getting a Merboy back to the water was going to be exhausting. UNDER REVISION.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 65,477 - Reviews: 741 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 12/29/2015 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Complete
Beautifully Flawed by LoveAlways03 reviews
Ok tell me what you found out' he asked keeping his eyes on the dark haired girl. 'Well she is a junior, just moved here and legal' they watched her struggle with her locker 'Oh and she is most definitely Bradley Hewitt's cousin' he smirked. Jackpot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 178,209 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 349 - Updated: 7/8/2015 - Published: 3/11/2011
Never Knew It was You by BabblingBug19 reviews
Citing "time travel" as an excuse for these. . . these *kids* who turn up out of nowhere is practically an insult to a Whovian geek like me. So what's really up? Why am I suddenly shacked up with my childhood enemy for Christmas? More importantly, who the HELL are these kids? *EDITED! Pls visit profile for updates.*
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,697 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 6/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2011
What Ever Happened to Just Friends? by Little Miss StormCloud reviews
My life just got complicated. Chris is my best friend in the whole world and when one dream wakes me up in the middle of the night it changes my entire perspective of him. R&R
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,804 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/29/2014 - Published: 1/21/2012
Playing the Game by SunnySideUp26 reviews
Hunter Donovan. He's a friend of my brother, a year older than me, and an arrogant, disgusting, perverted jerk. He constantly has girls falling head over heels for him, but he rejects them all. He's the perfect bad boy. And who am I? The only girl to ever drive him crazy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 97,560 - Reviews: 571 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 356 - Updated: 2/17/2014 - Published: 7/25/2013 - Complete
On the Run by thenifoundfivedollars reviews
I thought I liked Jeremy Rhider. And then he kissed me, shoved a briefcase in my hands, and jumped out my second story window. Now I'm under the watch of Agent Ryan Sumner, FBI. And he's about as thrilled with our arrangement as yours truly. Complete. NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 15,718 - Reviews: 644 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 9/2/2013 - Published: 2/4/2012 - Complete
Oh Well, Oh Well by whattodowithabrokenheart reviews
My ex is marrying my younger sister I'm only twenty but I swear my hair's going to go grey from all the stress of uni and now this plus the best man thinks he knows it all, my logic is to make out with him. Well done Blair, just well done.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,963 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 7/26/2013 - Published: 6/4/2011
The Reform Subject by CadenForlorn reviews
FIN "Simple, I go through women as often as I shave. I don't linger long enough for a second date, because, by the first date, I've seen them bare all. There's no woman I can't conquer. None is safe around me." As much as his haughtiness and self-righteousness upset me, I didn't let it show. Or I hoped it didn't. So how come I slapped him, my only chance to a promotion?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,350 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Complete
Age of Consent by Hilda Mary Slayter reviews
Straight-laced highschooler Nina is used to living within her comfort zone. Things quickly change when her older sister returns home and introduces her to a life of parties, lies and older men. When she meets Eric, she begins a friendship with him that develops into a relationship she never knew she could have. Problem is, he thinks she's 23.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,054 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 12/23/2012
All is Fair in Love and War by DarlingLiquids reviews
Two street gangs are in a war for power. When there's a new addition to 1 of the gangs, star-crossed romances ignite, feelings between friends come out, and a scheming, womanizing leader plans to corupt the enemy from the inside, out. Please read Ch1 A/N.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 43,725 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/16/2012 - Published: 1/21/2012 - Complete
Cheek to Cheek by gabijaluvs2rite reviews
Kat Rivers doesn't want anything to do with Jake Marks, just his dreamy best friend Jack Shubbington. Yet, Jake won't have it; he'll do ANYTHING to get her attention... including slapping her butt when she's not looking, which leads to the ultimate butt-slapping war between guys and girls.As tensions rise between best friends and old loves, what will become of her newfound admirer?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,073 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 8/15/2010
Stacy's Mom by youngin-matomon reviews
"Are you going to kiss me because my mom told you to?" "I think it'd be a creative reason to tell my friends, no? I kissed Stacy because Stacy's mom told me to." And he kissed me and then I forgot everything but the fact that damn he was a good kisser.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,342 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Complete
Fix you by carry.yourheart reviews
Cassie's peaceful life is interrupted when her mother dies abruptly in a fatal car accident. The father she barely knows wants her to join his new family. Things get complicated when her good-looking step-brother comes into the picture.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,411 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 4/4/2012
Help! My Stalker is a Lethal Assassin by thebrownie reviews
Blue Morris is not your normal teenager. For one, she's killed more boys than she's kissed. Then there's the fact that she's also a trained assassin on a mission to kidnap the son of the most dangerous man on the planet...No one said high school was going to be easy, especially not for this socially incompetent killer.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,181 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 4/16/2012
Love Language for Beginners by Mere Nova reviews
I always see him on the 2:35pm bus every day. I like him, and I'm sure he likes me. But there are two issues standing in the way of our potential romance. One - I'm a dork. Two - he doesn't speak English. I need a love language class, stat!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,085 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/18/2012 - Published: 5/15/2012
All the things I'd Rather do by Eeliahs reviews
"I find you neither intellectually or physically appealing, the very idea of engaging in sexual activity with you makes me want to throw up. I'd rather have my tongue stapled to the ceiling then be anywhere near your naked or clothed body."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,021 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 17 - Published: 5/7/2012 - Complete
The Essence of Not Falling in Love by thebrownie reviews
Never make bets with the devil. Especially if the devil is an exceptionally handsome sophomore who may or may not like you...Whoever said these are the best years of my life needs to be bare butt spanked in front of my school. Then we'll chat. REMOVED! UNDERGOING EDITS!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 4/23/2012 - Published: 2/21/2010 - Complete
Always Wear Clean Underwear 2: Panties in a Twist by Eeliahs reviews
It sound fun - owning a patisserie by day and crime-fighting with my gorgeous boyfriend at night. But add an unwelcome roommate, burgundy bridesmaid dresses, murder suspects and the other "M" word to the mix. Well, If you can't stand the heat...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,425 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 4/1/2012 - Published: 11/9/2010
Snow White and the Seven Twerps That Ate My Soup by Echo of the Wind reviews
Ugh. Life isn't fair. Karma's a bitch. My boyfriend poisoned me and I'm in the middle of a fucking forest. With 7 midgets. And a hottie. Great. Rated T for language. Review please! Changed the name. Old one got boring.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 31,732 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 9/5/2011 - Complete
Your Protector by sonnet75 reviews
He was a slight blur, like the faded image of light through a dark room. His dark wings were drug behind him, large and nearly as opaque as him if she stared at him hard enough—which she usually did because he was the only interesting thing in her life.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 9,738 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 12/26/2011
Acceptance by gabijaluvs2rite reviews
From childhood friends, to inseparable best friends, to soulmates, it's not just the parents that are stopping them from being together. It's something else, something that you can't reverse. You'll just have to read to find out.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,890 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/16/2012 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Complete
The Abundance of Paparazzi by a LITTLE bit extraordinary reviews
Sweetie, movie stars just don't act the drama. Movie stars are the drama.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,074 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/3/2012 - Published: 8/5/2011
What We Say by theBatmanisShakakah reviews
Oneshot- The proplem with avoiding people, is that their twice as angry when they finally catch up with you - which is why I find myself pushed up against a wall in the tiny groundsmans cupboard by non other than the intimidatingly sexy Damanion O'Grady.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,770 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Complete
Always Wear Clean Underwear by Eeliahs reviews
Being a Pattiserie owner by day and a P.I at night might sound glamorous. But throw in a undie obsession, a missing heiress, an evil cousin and a co-worker who I might have more then a professional interest in, and it's anything but a piece of cake...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 2,417 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 2/8/2008
Can't Let Go by peaceout reviews
That son of a bitch dumped me and then went straight to the most popular girl to date during our freshmen year. Now we're seniors, and I still haven't been able to get a date. Apparently, HE scared all the guys away. WTF? He dumped me didn't he?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 118,911 - Reviews: 1424 - Favs: 892 - Follows: 973 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 5/18/2010
Fluent in French by Pinkamoo reviews
I slouch back in my chair, pounding down on the keyboard and trying to kill as many weird robotic looking women as I can when the shop bell rings. Pressing the escape button and pausing the game, I look over to the entrance; Julian Chevalier.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,618 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 16 - Published: 7/13/2010 - Complete
Blue Eyes by dear-llama reviews
One-shot. "What's wrong?" Before I knew it, he had placed himself squarely in my path. And – dare I say it – he actually sounded a little angry and hurt. "Why are you not stalking me anymore?"
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,413 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 862 - Follows: 64 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Complete
M'embrasser? by Phemonoe reviews
Yeah, well, Je suis dans l'amour avec toi!" she yelled. Then the whole student body was staring at her. "Did you just say you were in love with him in French?" someone asked. "What!" she yelled. OneShot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,681 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/29/2009 - Complete
Imitation is Key by AfterPartyFiasco reviews
ONESHOT. He always stole my Halloween ideas. When I came as a piece of ham, he was cheese. When I was a princess, he was supposedly my prince. Then I came as LC, and he said he was Brody Jenner. I wonder what idea of mine he’s going to steal this year...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,409 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Complete
The Matchmaker by StormDancer reviews
It is said that if you put your name in locker 420, the Matchmaker will find you your perfect match. So what happens when the arrogant spoiled brat is captivated and the matchmaker meets her match?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 137,441 - Reviews: 3506 - Favs: 4,197 - Follows: 1,464 - Updated: 8/19/2008 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Complete
Thanks To The Stutter by gummybearmurder reviews
He worked at the local grocery store. He was a bag boy. He was gorgeous. And after seeing him for five straight years of my life, every Thursday I went to buy groceries, he chased afer me in the parking lot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,325 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
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Crown Princess reviews
In the prestigious Hayes University, there are a set of rules. Do not make eye contact. Do not speak out of turn. Know your place. In Hayes University, four boys decide the rules. And Ashton Hayes' word, their Crown Prince's, is not to be taken lightly. Clara Breton is the new student on a scholarship. Her one rule? Do not stand out...unless it's necessary.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,045 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/23/2016
Royally Engaged reviews
"No! I've decided." The prince smiled smugly. "I want that Ms. Isabelle Waters. Yes, her. She is my final decision." "Are you sure?" Derek asked. But he merely chuckled, the emerald in his eyes sparkling. "Oh, yes. I am sure."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,406 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 10/22/2014 - Published: 5/10/2012
Contract or Fate reviews
"You don't need to risk your life for mine," I said, as calm as I could. There was silence. And then, "Believe me," he said, in a voice I couldn't quite point out, "I wouldn't. But I was born this way - I exist to protect you, whether I like it or not. I am your servant. More appropriately, I am just a piece of paper, a character from a book."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,450 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/21/2014
Descartes reviews
One of their rooms was set ablaze, one of them had an allergic reaction to the breakfast I had prepared, and the other one condemned me for hiding inside his closet as he almost 'did it' with some actress. Not only did I make a troubled person, but I couldn't pretend to be my brother: the new member of this world-renowned rock band.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,275 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/8/2013
Eeliahs (14)