Vengeful Authoress
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Joined 07-29-11, id: 790472, Profile Updated: 01-12-18
Author has written 19 stories for Fantasy, General, Action, Horror, Humor, Romance, Supernatural, and General.

Profile picture credit goes to one of my college buddies. She drew my D&D character after I killed a guard with my legs completely asleep and numb.

"I'm Enia Silverson!" the authoress crowed.

"And I'm Samik Brekin!" her compainion added.

"And together we're...!" they paused and looked at each other. "What are we, exactly?" the authoress asked.

"I donno. Maybe we shoulda thought this out better."

"Yeah. Probably."

So, obviously, I'm the Vengeful Authoress. In some circles, I'm also known as Enia (knee-uh) Silverson. I am the rightful bearer of the Vengeful Authoress mask, a tool of great power which I will one day use to conquer the world. Look out, world powers! Cue evil laugh.Hack! Cough! Augh! Fly!

I am accompanied by the ever faithful Samik Brekin, wearer of the Vengeful Chef mask. Mostly, he's really good at baking chocolate cakes. Together, we are the dynamic duo, a force to be reckoned with, and any other cliched team-building expressions you can think of.

Random Shit About Me

Age: 21

Location: Home sweet corn-filled home. Iowa, baby. One of the most boring states in the good ol' USofA, second only to Nebraska I believe.

College: Kenyon College, located in Ohio. Currently abroad at the University of Exeter

Major: English with an emphasis in Creative Writing and a minor in Music. Yes, I know it's the most useless major that I could've chosen.

Gender: Lol

Pronouns: They/them

Sexuality: Really, really bisexual. Basically super gay.

Species: Elf

Magical Abilities: Elemental manipulation

Mental Status: Certifiable

Other Abilities: A gay-dar, sarcasm, and stubbornness

Some of my favorites that you don't care about but I'm going to tell you anyways:

Video Game: Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Or anything Legend of Zelda. Zelda fics are mainly what I write on Fanfiction. I love Legend of Zelda. Pokemon is my second favorite. I like anything Nintendo. On the Microsoft side, I love Assassin's Creed. So far, the second is my favorite of the one's I've played.

Book: No idea. Anything fantasy or horror. I really like zombie horror.

Color: Dark forest green

Movie: There are three in no particular order. Zombieland, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and Deadpool.

T.V. Show: Walking Dead. Other notable favorites include Doctor Who, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Teen Wolf, American Horror Story, and probably some other ones that I'm forgetting at the moment.

Phobias: Fucking needles, man. I can't even see them on television without shuddering.

Samik: Hey Enia.

Enia: What?

Samik: *pulls out one of those needles that the doctor uses to give you shots* Needle!

Enia: *shrieks and pulls out her flamethrower* DIE NEEDLE!!! *charbroils it*

Samik: *wheezing* I think you got a little bit more than the needle there...

Enia: Oops. Sorry. *pats him on the soulder. he winces* Hold on. Arin!

Arin: *appears* Yes? Oh, that doesn't look good. It's not a good idea to charbroil you boyfriend, Enia.

Enia: I didn't mean to! Just heal him.

Arin: Okay. *heals and disappears*

Enia: Sorry, Samik.

Samik: S'okay.

Enia: You should really know better than to test my fears and violent tendencies.

Samik: I probably should. Sorry I scared you.

Enia: Sorry I charbroiled you.

*hugs for everyone!*

I also really don't like people.

Enia's Three Thoughts When Faced with Giant Crowds and Long Bathroom Line at Golden Gate Bridge Entrance

1. I wish I had a shotgun.

2. Where's a zombie mob when you need one?

3. If I start biting people, will they assume I'm a zombie and run screaming from the premises?

Awesome Quotes (Except for the first, these are all from my life)

Use your head, cut off theirs. (Zombie Survival Guide)

"I like games! Will it involve explosions?" What I thought when my French teacher said that we were going to be playing a game.

"That's what happens when yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Thursday. Sometimes it's Wednesday." A random kid in my math class.

"Let's do math now and worry about our shoes later." My student-teacher in math.

"You can catch it, but that means you still explode." My American Studies teacher when he was explaining a game we were going to be playing to review World War I and someone asked what happened if you caught the hand grenade.

"Do they have to be in French?" My question when my French teacher was explaining this greeting card assignment.

"Des bonbons, ou la mort!"

"Shoot! Sugar cookies, fudge muffins!" My English 9 teacher when she forgot about something.

"Eat water and drink bananas." My brother when he was giving me advice on my All State auditions. He said it right the first time but then...

(in English) "I don't speak English."

"Dear Julia, you are as sexy as a pinecone covered in beandip."

"OOOOWWWWEEEEECCCCCHHHHHHH!!!" My swim coach on any given day of the week.

"Don't get between a Mexican and his candy!" My swim coach again.

"Gimme some more of these bad boys. (talking about craisins) They're so addictive. I'm not sure what's more addictive: them or playing Xbox until three o'clock in the morning." Once again, my swim coach.

"Moo cows say woof." It was a topic of debate in my math class.

"Died a sandwich."

"Pooooooootatoes. Wanna go out?" The best pick-up line ever according to some weird kid I used to know.

"I think if you're a goat, you just get to have sex." My biology teacher on selective breeding.

"You don't want to have four kids every month, right?" My biology teacher again.

"You are irrelevant and therefore stupid."

"Shoes don't have sex." My biology teacher again.

"Maybe at the shoe design store they have, like, shoe sex!" Can you guess who this was? Yup, my biology teacher.

"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead!" Apparently this was an advertising translation of "Pepsi brings you alive" to Chinese.

"Built a doghouse. We don't have a dog." My bio teacher.

"Goodness gracious alive, Batman."

"What's your favorite dessert?"
"...I donno. I like chicken."
"...That's not a dessert."
"Chicken sticks...covered in chocolate."

"If anyone hits me with one of those, I will kill them slowly and painfully with chickens and eggplants."

"You don't walk inside grandma." My French III teacher.

"I don't want to see 'je suis bien'. If I do, I will find your pet and hurt it." My French III teacher.

"Sanchez, I sliced my toe on the bottom of the pool."
"Why? Were you hungry?" A swimmer on the team and our coach.

"French people don't have fat cats." My French teacher was obsessing about his new cat and someone asked if it was fat.

"Your uncle's the caveman from Geico?" My French teacher

"That is obnoxious. If you don't stop, I will throw something at a book." My French teacher

"The next person who claps will have their hands cut off with an axe."
"And I will look the other way." My French teacher.

"Range ton livre ou je le mange." My french teacher threatened to eat my friend's book.

"Did you guys see the news story about the guy who won the cockroach eating contest and then went outside and died?" My chemistry teacher.

"Someone should lick Claire." Post morning practice locker room conversations.

"What the hell, might as well." It rhymes!

"He thinks someone is eating the chalk."
"Or grinding it up and sniffing it." My French teacher couldn't find the chalk.

"I have come to a conclusion. Pants and math are a conspiracy created by the government to confuse and occupy us."

"When I was in high school just before dirt was invented..." My chem teacher was reminiscing about the good old days.

"I don't know what happened to our good white chalk. Somebody ate it." Someone's always eating the chalk...

"They're happens." Talking about molecules.

"Go rub your nipples until you're content." My AP Gov teacher to a student in the class.

"I wonder if it's my collection of porn!" My English teacher received a package. It wasn't porn.

"I would sell the child."
"But you have four!"
"It's like Petland, but for children." My French teacher would sell his children if he were ultra poor.

"I bet she's smoking in the boy's room." My English teacher was trying to guess what a girl was doing.

A link to my Fanfiction profile page! Enjoy some random Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Zombie Survival Guide, and Harry Potter fics!

Also, a link to my AO3 account:


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Gifted by Jelly Princess reviews
"So I resorted to Plan B. I ran." Reese has been running for years, unable to escape the horrors of her past - she can't get far enough away. Remembering is pure agony, but not remembering brings her so much pain. Sooner or later, she's going to have to stop and face what she truly fears - that what she lost isn't so lost after all. -Title may change-
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,111 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/23/2013 - Published: 7/7/2012
Farro by Arreana reviews
PUBLISHED! She is the kidnapped prisoner of an assassinated priest. He is the assassin. They are thrown together, tortured slum girl and embittered Crown Prince, upon a perilous road to freedom. COMPLETE!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 121,390 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 1/22/2011 - Complete
Two Travels by TwoTravels reviews
Two writers, one story. The epic adventure of Washucktah and Tarnien is all here. Chapters releases Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 102,323 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/13/2013 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Complete
Tao Te Ching by Hariboooo reviews
Trying to be inspirational, inspired by Tao Te Ching
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 2/26/2013 - Complete
When Darkness Falls by TheAnimatedNovelist reviews
Fear-(Noun) A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,769 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/22/2013 - Published: 2/21/2013
A Long Way Home by AniolMroku reviews
Suzan finds out that the world is stranger than she thought. After a mysterious warrior comes to her rescue, her life will never be the same. Their fates intertwined, both will have to find a way out of a dangerous intrigue. But a way home will be long...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,641 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/16/2012 - Published: 11/30/2011
The WTF Journal of Thalia Evans by Schyzotypal X reviews
When life gives you crap, go a little too crazy, make a complete fool of yourself, then write it all down and slap it up on fictionpress…-a parody of life itself-
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 215 - Words: 55,858 - Reviews: 602 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 9/7/2012 - Published: 10/13/2008
The Angel by Hariboooo reviews
A short poem about a boy who meet's the girl of his dreams.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Complete
Forever Alone by Hariboooo reviews
These poems will be quite dark/sad so warning before you read!
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 8/2/2012
The Elemental Dragons by Hariboooo reviews
My life has been full of unexpected scenarios where I have come out the Hero. On each occasion I acted without hesitation,based on pure instinct I put my self in danger to save the lives of others. But they were watching, they were testing me. The men in the black robes that only I seem to notice. On my Sixteenth birthday, I received the letter which signaled the start of the end.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/30/2012
Sulfur by Arreana reviews
PUBLISHED! Conclusion to "Farro" - She's out to right her wrongs, and he, to save a city. Together, they must travel through mountains no one was meant to cross and into a land no one was meant to see. COMPLETE!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,860 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 7/29/2011
Things To Do by TheMonsterInYourWardrobe reviews
A series of random things to do in differant places to freak people out! If you do not read it a bunny will die. DO YOU WANT A BUNNY TO DIE!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,016 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/28/2011 - Published: 7/12/2011
108 ways confuse and agrivate family and friends by xoLOVEmeWITHnoRESTRICTIONSxo reviews
And basically anyone else you wanna annoy/aggravate/confuse. A list that I have compiled together. Most of things I have learned from experience, so please enjoy and review. If you have anything to add, let me know.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 5,166 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/17/2010 - Published: 12/15/2009
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Hero's Foil reviews
When thieving rogue meets lawful paladin in the forest, the two are forced together on a journey across the land. Perfect foils, the paladin attempts to teach the rogue morals as the rogue does everything in her power to annoy the knight. Soon, they are swept up in a war between old gods and new gods while long-forgotten monsters crawl out of the earth like ants.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,090 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/29/2017 - Published: 6/2/2016
Of Poetry and Prose reviews
Just a collection of some of my poems I really like. A mixture of serious and silly. Hope you enjoy.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 5,967 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/26/2017 - Published: 8/27/2011
Receipt Paper Poems
A collection written on the back of receipt paper while bored at work, four of which were part of a collection that one a Gold Key and an American Voices Award Nomination at the Scholastic Art and Writing Contest.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,923 - Updated: 6/7/2016 - Published: 2/20/2015
Tiny Teacups reviews
When Tymool the dragon's horde of teacups is destroyed, he has two choices: he must either exact his terrible, bloody revenge or lose his wings and become a wyrm. Tymool doesn't want to chose, but his brother's domineering nature and the honor of his family force him to make this horrible decision.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,574 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6/6/2016 - Published: 5/31/2016 - Complete
Closed Casket
A memoir of my cousin's funeral and all the things I didn't say.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,796 - Published: 12/8/2015 - Complete
A Forgotten Death
After a year of badgering, my AP Lit teacher let me do an imitation story instead of an essay. Inspired by Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings". A young man dies, but God and his son steal the show at his funeral, and soon his coffin lies forgotten.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 806 - Published: 7/22/2015 - Complete
The Lonely They
We were told never to look at them and certainly don't let them into your house. Magical Realism piece written during the Kenyon Review Young Writers Program.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Published: 7/27/2014 - Complete
Only Monsters Here reviews
When fighting monsters for your life, there are only two outcomes. You either die or you become the monster yourself to defeat the other. Extended version of the story I wrote for the Scholastic Contest and won a silver key for. Oneshot.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,962 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/31/2014 - Complete
Following the Crowd reviews
In my US Lit class, we had to write a satire piece after finishing Huck Finn, satiring something that Mark Twain might satire if he were alive this day and age. Conformity is a real problem because people just want to fit it. But they go to such lengths to do so that they lose their identity, much like zombies.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,196 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/4/2013 - Complete
October Montage reviews
A series of standard scary stories in honor of October and Halloween. Hopefully a total of five, one a week and a finale on Halloween night. The first is Deserted, second Hungry, third Oblivion. Oblivion is a bit different than the others. And Restless. And, after a long, long delay, the finale. Reflection.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,639 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 12/4/2013 - Published: 10/9/2013 - Complete
Rites reviews
The Human Realm is having a bit of a zombie problem and Samik Brekin, sent by his best friend's parents, heads from the Elf Realm to the Human to find her before she does something stupid and gets herself killed. And his arch-enemy just has to tag along. Then enter William, the annoying werewolf, and its surprising anyone survives. Zombies, humor, and magic. What's better? Enjoy.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 29 - Words: 46,844 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/10/2013 - Published: 8/2/2011
Epiphany Fish Corporations: Live Feed reviews
What better way to document your adventures in a secret laboratory than via live feed? We've got a time machine, a trans-dimensional warp beam, fatal diseases, weaponry to rival the army, a zombie, bed bugs, and much much more. Enter my unknown rival who is determined to take us down and it can't get any crazier. Fantasy, sci-fi, and humor. T just in case. Welcome to the lab.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,564 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 8/9/2012
Swimmer Meets Vampire reviews
Some say crosses, holy water, and garlic are the best defenses against vampires. Not so. Swimming is. Eventually, the chlorine gets inside your blood. No vampire will want to taste you then. For my swimming buddy. Some people give chocolates or flowers to show affection and friendship. Me, I write stories for them. I'll miss ya.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 979 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2013 - Complete
Night for Tears reviews
When we were young, we were taught that love will always find a way, that love conquers all, and there's someone out there for everyone. But then we grew older and learned the truth. Love hurts. It's messy, painful, and bloody. Nor is it fair and just. But most of all, love is filled with tears. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Complete
Of Mud and Kittens reviews
A Personal Narrative assignment in English. My teacher wouldn't let me make it up so there's NO MAGIC IT IN! THE HORROR! Anywho, it actually had to be about something that happened to me, so I took the epic day when me and my best friend Onyx went wandering around a local woods. Clutziness (by me), awesomeness (by Onyx), and randomness (by everyone involved). Enjoy.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,329 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/29/2012 - Complete
Blood Morn reviews
A young man chooses to go out to sea on a morning when the sun rises red, despite his grandpa's warning. He finds his ship high-jacked by an ancient spirit. Will he survive to see another morning?
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Complete
Subway reviews
A train rattles into the station. The passengers get on and the train departs. None of them reach the next stop alive. What happened in between? Oneshot inspired by, what else, a subway ride. Read, review, and more importantly, enjoy.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,486 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Complete
The Random Misadventures of Enia and Jacob reviews
PART ONE: THE PSYCHO FISH. My psycho fish escapes from my basement, taking my world detonator with it. Jacob and I must find it before it gets a chance to press the big red button. M&Ms, explosions, fancy guns, and zombies, not to mention fish this story has it all. Very random. Two parts. T for minor swearing and excessive violence.
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,663 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/28/2012 - Published: 6/26/2012 - Complete
A Purple Tractors Christmas Special reviews
My Christmas present to everyone. Teemo, Arin, and Fred are stuck in a cottage with their arch enemy, Darrel, on Christmas Eve. Then idiotic Santa Elves show up and chaos ensues. Oneshot. Please enjoy and review.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,593 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Complete
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