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Joined 07-29-11, id: 790538, Profile Updated: 08-13-11

Howdy Y'all! I'm TexasHomeSlice!

A few things about me-

I like Twilight! A whole lot!

Can't stand the smell of nacho cheese (Yeah I know. I'm weird)

Er... I'm Team Jasper! All the waaaaay!

I'm from Texas! (Big D-Town, SON!)

I'm known for never smiling in pictures...

I cain't spel fo nutin! (Sersly)

Eclipse is my favorite book and movie from the Twilight Series...

I'm random! (Pie...)

I'm easily irritated... (Got a problem with that?!?!)


"I can't 'Drop it Like It's Hot' no more. I gotta 'Let it Down Like It's Warm'..."- Madea (One of the Tyler Perry plays)

"Sucks to your Ass-Mar!"- Ralph (Lord Of The Flies)

"They're playing BINGO!"- Megan (My best friend/Penguin)

"I don't do drugs! I get high on life! *breathes in air* Ahhh... My fix..."-Me

"I lick-ted it!"- Megan

"Hey look! It's a kitty! No! It's a mouse! Nooo! It's a dummy outside my house!"- Titus (A friend)


"Be yourself, don't take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive" -Gerard Way

"Everything in this room is edible, even I'm edible! But that is called "cannibalism", my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."-Willy Wonka

"Hotch, I was a 12 year old child prodigy in a Las Vegas high school. I got beat up everyday. You kick like a nine year old girl."- Reid (Criminal Minds)

All That Random Profile Stuff!!!

Some of my Nick-Names:

Rini (Given By Megan)

Rini Sawda (Given By Megan)

Sidekick (My Mom)

RoadKill (Do NOT ask)

TexasHomeSlice (My PenName Duh..)

Semi-Bi-Polar Polar Bear (Wgirl910, long story...)

Lazy People Responses (I say all of these constantly. In order of how often I use them)

1. Eh... *has nothing else to say*

2. Is this mandatory? *pleading*

3. I dunno... *shrug*

4. Maybe... *uncaring*

5. Ok... *stoic*

6. Do I HAVE to? *raises eyebrow*

7. But I don't wanna... *pout*

8. Ok I'll do it later... *maybe*

Nine reasons to be team Jasper:

1. He's sensitive to your feelings, literally.

2. He doesn't take his brothers to strip clubs.

3. He fought in the civil war.

4. He didn't kill Bella.

5. He sparkles.

6. He never left anyone. (*cough cough* Edward *cough cough*)

7. He showed everyone how to fight.

8. He has an amazing ability to put up with Rosalie.

9. He's just that cool. TEAM JASPER ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

My Favorite Twilight Characters In Order...

1. Jasper

2. Emmett

3. Seth

4. Carlisle

5. Peter

6. Riley

7. Angela

8. Charlie

9. Marcus

10. Maria

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. (Ohhhh! Burn...)

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen! Ugh!" The bus driver tells her.

The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down angrily.

"The bus briver just insulted me!" she says to the man sitting next to her.

"Go on back up there-" The man says "-I'll hold your monkey for you."

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Elementary School:
*everyone is quiet*
Middle School: *whispers* "Can I have a piece of gum?"
High School: *shouts across room* "YO, WHAT'S THE ANSWER TO NUMBER 5?!"

Boy's texting...
Friend:"Hey man, who ya texting?"
Boy: "My girlfriend..."
Friend: "Why would you do that?"
Friend: "Okay dude..."

Teacher: I'm done, go in the hall!
Elementary School: No, I'm sorry, I'll be good!
Middle School: Um, okay...? Bye.

Teacher says we're watching Bill Nye The Science Guy-
Elementary School: Who? Oh, that guy. YAY!
Middle School: Ugh, why?! He's so stupid!

Police officer pulls you over-
Police: Papers?
You: Scissors, I win! :D
Police: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle...

A kid gave his teacher a blank sheet of paper-
: What is this?
Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass.
Teacher: *looked at the paper* Where's the grass?
Kid: The cow ate all of it.
Teacher: *looked at the paper again* Then, where's the cow?
Kid: It left because there was no more grass...

There were three kids named Somebody, Nobody, and Crazy. One day an accident happened and Crazy started running until he got to the police station-

Crazy: Someboby killed Nobody!!!

Police: Are you crazy?!?!?

Crazy: Yes!!!

A bouncy castle is at a family reunion-

Ages 3-8: Yay! A bouncy castle! *runs to it*

Ages 9-12: A bouncy castle, really? *rolls eyes and walks away*

Ages 13-18: OH HECK YEAH! Move out of the way munchkins! That bouncy castle is MINE! *runs to it*

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

If those chain messages were accurate, I'd be dead 305 times by now.

Do. Not. Touch. Me. Or. I. Will. Bite.

Guy1-"I think I'm losing my mind."

Guy2-"You can't lose what you never had, man."

Anatadaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere...a duck is watching you.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G; Gummi bears are chasing me; One is red, one is blue, one is trying to steal my shoe; Now I'm running for my life; 'Cause the red one has a knife

Hey, this is an A and B conversation, so C your way out of it before D jumps over E and Fs you up like a G.

If Tylenol, Duck Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.

"Let's watch a scary movie!" *2 Hours Later* "Dude, walk me to the bathroom..."

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

Just gonna stand there and hear me roar, but that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

"SAY 'HELLO' TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" *whips put a pencil*

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.


"My karma ran over my dogma!"

I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize.

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs

I went to an insane asylum to talk who led the building. I ask him, "How do you know if someone is insane?"

"Well," he replies, "we fill a bathtub with water and offer them a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket; they have to empty the bathtub quickly."

"Oh," I say, "so they will take the bucket because it is the biggest and holds the most water."

He looks at me, "No. A normal person would pull the plug. Now, would you like a room with a bed near the window or by the door?"

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper but every time I try Alice is there waiting for me with a baseball bat. How does she- Oh. Right...

Rah)² (ah)³ + ([roma (1+ma)] + (ga)² + (ooh)(la)² = Bad Romance. Copy and paste this if you understand it!

Ahhh... Buttered Popcorn and Doughnut grease... The smell of America!

I like Mario. He's cool. I mean, he's all like, "Look at me, I'm Maaario! I'm an Itialian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks Mexican!"

Jasper-Mmm... This looks fishy... *Looks around*

Emmett-Gold Fishy...

Jasper-*sigh* No Emmett... Just...No

And... That's all I have to say... For now... PEACE! =)

The Adventures of Rini and Maydo! by MaydoMia reviews
Little munchkins! This story basically surrounds a group of wait for it Kindergartners! :D Join Rini, Maydo, Lea, Evey, and even more munchkins as they go through the fun of school! :3 These crazy kids are pretty entertaining :P
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,732 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/21/2012 - Published: 7/30/2011