Well, if you are on my page, you have probably read a review or stumbled upon my story/stories.

Well, bravo to you then and welcome.

Oh, and if you're not a Teen over the age of 15 or a MATURE Adult, don't touch my favorite sections or I will mind-rape your mind & steal your cherry or in guys' cases, I will take your manhood & turn you into my bitch.

Weird Questions To Make You Think, Because I Love To Think:

1.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae bra?

Yes!

2.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

No, I think Adults enjoy Adultery much much more.

3.How is it possible to have a civil war?

Don't get blood on the nice uniforms, don't smudge the guns & knives, & sit around a table with a cup of tea and speak of philosophy and the problems in the world.

4.If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If God dropped acid, can I do it, too?

I think if God dropped acid, he would see Satan on the moon with the Cabbage Patch Kids.

5.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Perhaps, if they're really that stupid... or the ditzy kind of blonde.

6.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Although they cancel each other out, I don't believe my stomach would get the notice. So no, I would not be hungry.

7.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I would have failed to succeed and succeeded to fail!

8.Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

Obviously, someone who doesn't have a lisp.

9.Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

Because I do believe there's already something named that. Those giant rocks that rip out of a belt and slam into us from behind.

10.Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Because during tourist season, they end up killing themselves or getting into a tragic accident. So really, they just save everyone the trouble by doing it themselves.

11.Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Perhaps it's in that order simply because it rhymes.

12.Where are we going? And what’s with this handbasket?

Silly dear, you have amnesia again. We're going to Fort Knox and stealing whatever gold is left in the gold vault. If there is none, well, we'll take a souvenir from a different vault!

13.If the “blackbox” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash,why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?

Because then people wouldn't be afraid of flying and psychologists would lose their jobs. Duh.

14.Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Because not all sour cream is actually sour. It takes time and patience for it to become sour. Otherwise, it's just cream.

15.If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys
and apes?

Because everyone wants to remember where they came from, even if it is from a monkey's ass.

16.The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Hey, ever heard of "I caught Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"?

You're late on that one, dude.

17.I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Played your life! But yeah, you were totally asking for it. Literally.

18.If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Simply because they want to rub it in our faces that they're special.

19.Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

That would be SWEEETT! Totally should.

20.If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

You stumped me! That certainly is a conundrum. I will have to ponder that while my mute friend swears at his mother & watch her reaction. If she reaches for the bar of soap, I will tell you where it goes.

21.If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

I think if you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, he's going to go Jackie Chan on your ass, confused style.