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Joined 08-10-11, id: 792982, Profile Updated: 12-10-11
Author has written 3 stories for General, and Sci-Fi.

Hello and welcome to my FictionPress page. I also have a fanfiction account under the same name, Imagination12. That page actually has stories, so you can go look at the if you wish.

I've actually been thinking of short things to write! Amazing, right?

I don't know much about this website, so please enlighten me if you like!

One-liners from the internet:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

When in doubt, mumble.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

I always take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, and he had to rewind it for his friends.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Someday your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I found I heard awesome quotes from Douglas Adams. I decided to add some here.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen."

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. "

"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot."

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. "

"I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. "

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

"I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? "

"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "

"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands. "

"If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."

"It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too."

"It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space."

"The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees."

"The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."

"The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind."

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. "

"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."

"We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem."

I love Douglas Adams. He's so sarcastic.

Well, I've decided to put some strange musings of mine here.

Number 1:
I remember looking at a list of things that was titled "Things Your Mother Would Never Say" Such as: Skip the vegetables, have desert first.
I found half the list was my mom, the other half, my dad.

Number 2:
In order to encourage resistance of drinking, they let me try beer at a young age. They gave me a sip, I hated it, even though it was light, then they decided to leave the house until midnight.
Luckily, it was so disgusting, I was only able to finish half of it. But, just to clarify, I felt slightly buzzy for the rest of the night.

Number 3:
We were cleaning the house, and my mom was doing some things to my hair, to style it. My dad came to the outside of the door and was about to say something, until I put my fingers to my lips, signaling silence. The vacuum was still going, so I was able to mouth "Don't interrupt her train of action. This is the third time she's restarted this half of my hair. Just go."

Number 4:
While listening to music in my house, if you stand in my room, you here one style. The second you step out the door of the room, you hear something completely different. As much of a change as "La Camisa Negra" by Juanes, to "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. Or "Thriller" by Michael Jackson to "Lost Yourself" by Eminem.
Please note the first song is the one I listened to.

Number 5:
I came across the song "You're Gonna Go Far Kid" and found I knew all the words and could sing it without the music as well. That was the first time I ever remembered hearing it.

Also, I found this saying I really enjoy, and think should have its own speical spot on this page.
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s*.
I really enjoyed reading this.

Thank you for coming to this account. If you want to talk to any random person, I'm willing to talk.
I Like Chatting.


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Mother of Learning by nobody103 reviews
Zorian, a mage in training, only wanted to finish his education in peace. Now he struggles to find answers as he finds himself repeatedly reliving the same month. 'Groundhog Day' style setup in a fantasy world.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 108 - Words: 804,117 - Reviews: 6077 - Favs: 4,739 - Follows: 5,859 - Updated: 2/10/2020 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Complete
Singer by Tah the Trickster reviews
She was a dyke, a headbanger, a pariah. I was perfectly straight, in the chorus, part of the 'in crowd.' We did NOT speak to one another. Ever. ...Stupid science fair. Femslash, yuri, F/F. Finished as of 12/17/09. Book and eBook versions now available!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 159,459 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Complete
Gozen Island by CosmosSurfer reviews
Three siblings find themselves on a strange island. They must find out how they got there and how to get back. Simple, right?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,062 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/2/2011 - Published: 7/15/2011
House of Cats by Joyce Sully reviews
The House of Cats, haven for cats who become humans, has fallen into disrepair. Can their lost Queen and a bitter tom band together to restore the House to its former glory? Or will a greedy developer and nosy neighbors drive the cats from their home?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 106,815 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 4/5/2010 - Complete
Modern Magic by Zi Jian reviews
A high fantasy genre parody set in a modern world.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 104,893 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Complete
Broken Wings by Katica Locke reviews
Complete -- Jakil LeMae arrives at Alyrrawood University, the prestigious school for mages, werecreatures, vampires and faeries. Homoerotic fantasy.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 79 - Words: 172,033 - Reviews: 1807 - Favs: 1,164 - Follows: 356 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
The Evil Overlord's List by LazerTH reviews
Based on Peter Anspach's hilarious Evil Overlord List, this story is about an evil overlord who has common sense!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,947 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2007 - Complete
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Close Encounters reviews
Written from an online prompt. "Write a short scene with two people who are hiding a secret, but they don't reveal their secret to the other person, or to the reader." This was my response.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Complete
The Sciencorp Lie reviews
Paul and Sam, two girls who have been 'friends' since high school, work together in Sciencorp, a scientific company. Everything is proceeding as normal when The Boss visits and throws everything out of whack. Before long, they learn the company's secret.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,309 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Complete
Challenging Coincidence reviews
Why do people say that there's no such thing as coincidence? I agreed that there isn't anything special with the universe. Until, I met the boy who would change that view.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 813 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Complete