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Joined 08-14-11, id: 793754, Profile Updated: 10-30-14
Author has written 5 stories for Humor, and Romance.

I'm Ali purple, I'm sixteen.

I finally have my learner's permit but my mother won't let me drive her shift stick, so instead I'm learning from my dad's automatic.

I like writing fan fiction and fiction (I have an account with fiction press, fan fiction and wattpad under the same name).

I'm in grade 12 and living in Canada (I like building igloos but I don't live in one. I wish I did. I think there are ice hotels in Quebec or somewhere…).

I have been to Disney World for the first time in April, and was delighted to know that I'm taller than Stitch. I've also been to NYC and I've fallen in love with the city. It should be expected of me to move there when I am old enough.

I have never ridden a motorbike or helicopter or rickshaw, but I have ridden a bike, car, van, limo, coach bus, airplane (flew one myself), horse, elephant, and camel.

I am the biggest procrastinator ever, but I have done a lot more art and writing when exam week rolls around, so I guess I'm just crap at multitasking.

The only reason I was even motivated to take my science classes was because of my various crushes that are seated in perfect viewing area from my seat.

And yes, I am a romantic.

At least a closet romantic.

I'm always the last to know everything. If someone asked me about my (hypothetical) boyfriend, my response would be: "I have a boyfriend? When did this happen!? Why am I always the last to know! Is he cute? Is he nice? Is he really, super duper extra nice? 'Cause I don't like those kind of people. They scare me. They are always smiling and when they look at you they look like they wanna kill you. I'm too young to die, I haven't even written my will yet! Let's see… What should I tell my parents…"

I also get easily distracted.

I don't like taking showers, but when I do they end up being at least 30 to 75 minutes long at around 11 o'clock at night. Lately they've been running past midnight.

I am extremely anti-social but I love seeing people and being a part of a group.

My favourite book is Cue For Treason for many reasons (and if anyone has a copy of this book, hook me up by messaging me, my tumblr is if that's easier, whatever).

I don't like non-fiction as much as fiction books, but I am always looking through the non-fiction section in the library first (this may be because the first floor is dedicated to non-fiction, dvd's and adult books while the second floor is computers, teen books and children books; I am a girl of priorities).

My sister is very nosy. This is proven by me twisting my laptop away from her judgmental and prying eyes.

I am not a fan of nosy people, but I have done my fair share of poking my nose into other people's business. I'm a writer, I like to observe.

I'm not a gossiper. But don't be surprised if your whole life story is published and sitting in bookshelves and online libraries all over the world. It's not my fault you people lead interesting lives.

And finally, as my hand cramps up writing and my mom yells at me to go to sleep, I am an alien out to take over your world, earthling.

Well, not really. But I do want my name to live on in some form on earth. And today destiny has chosen writing.

Ali Purple

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On Being Carly by productofdreams reviews
My car's on the fritz, my bff's a thief, the coolest guy at school bow chica-wow-wow won't leave me alone, and there just isn't enough teen angst to go around. "Are you staring at my butt?" "I'm not staring I'm...observing." I replied lamely. Sequel!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 38,756 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 9/25/2014 - Published: 5/20/2010
Daisies in December by thenifoundfivedollars reviews
"You're mental," she said. Glancing down the sidewalk in the direction of the institution from which I had just escaped, I nodded. "Yes. I am. Now can I get that ride?" Oneshot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,628 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/13/2014 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
The Back-Up Plan by SunnySideUp26 reviews
"I know all about your little crush on the new girl." "I don't know what you're talking about." "I saw you," she went on. "You're smitten – the way you get all shy and nervous around her. It's sweet. Well, sickening, really. But I can help you win her over. That is, if you're willing to get your hands a little dirty." Never make a deal with a snake. It never goes as planned.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 87,298 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 7/12/2014 - Published: 12/19/2013 - Complete
When Life Gives You a French Man by misshapen-memories reviews
Part 1 in the "When Life Gives You..." story. "Oh, we aren't together..." The rehearsed speech flowed off her tongue. At one point, she thought if she said it enough she would convince herself it was true and not just some preconceived, fabricated lie. Suddenly, Aleena realized she could no longer convince herself of that. PART 1 COMPLETE. Part 2 Teaser in here!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 24,761 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/12/2013 - Published: 7/11/2013 - Complete
Not By Blood by ilikedaisychains reviews
"You can't kiss me!" I gasped as I pushed him away, "We're practically related!" He shrugged, "Not by blood," before he decided to continue mauling my face and somehow, have me return the gesture. Oh boy, I guess the whole 'step-sibling' thing is effectively ruined.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 75,363 - Reviews: 611 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 8/14/2011
Allie by Edna-Mode413 reviews
Before I could think I heard myself saying, "I love your eyes." His face lit up and his smile deepened. "You love my eyes?" "Yes, I love your eyes. They're beautiful," I told him. "Do you fantasize about having children who have my eyes?" he asked grinning cheekily.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,776 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/22/2012 - Complete
Dentures by Lobotomised reviews
'Hello' 'Hi. Er, is this Alice Reynolds' 'Yep. Speaking.' 'I've, uh … got your dentures.' This is how I met Alice Reynolds. And what an awkward meeting it was. An intensely awkward love story with trifle, pipe-cleaners and pterodactyls-in-the-stomach. Taylor Swift never reckoned for this. ONESHOT
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,386 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 6/18/2012 - Complete
I LOATH YOU, BUDDY by aMyTaichoDa reviews
So, he dares intrude my family, does he? HA! I don't think so, pops. I hereby solemnly pledge not to give in to his disgusting charms or obnoxious flirting. What, he thinks he can just SHOW UP one and day expect me to goosh out a toothy smile, cackle a friendly 'welcome' and laugh at his conceited jokes? Pfffffffft... Help me.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,996 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 7/3/2011
The Art of Stalking by rosieroo reviews
ONE SHOT "I was going to harass that boy like there was no tomorrow until I saw his adorable cheeks turn red." ADoR Star Cross'd Challenge Prompt *Runner Up/Reader's Pick for Best Challenge Response SKoW*
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,053 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 22 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Complete
High School Not So Sweetheart by heyyitsmeexo reviews
During my senior year, I decided to make it my goal to date different guys until I found my high school sweetheart. Sometimes it takes many disaster dates and awkward situations to find that one perfect guy, even if he's always been there to begin with.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 64,659 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 4/22/2012 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Complete
Girls, Boys, and Other Enigmas by Miss Haps reviews
ONESHOT. "Your mom wants me to impregnate you?" I pause. "Yes," I answer honestly. "She thinks you're dreamy and has deemed you well equipped for the job." Kent laughs. "Well that's true. I think I can be pretty sufficient in that area of service."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,526 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 52 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Complete
Dealing with Awkward Situations by IncapableDreams reviews
Short Story. Unfortunate events are bound to occur when you break into someone's house.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,921 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Complete
Hero Complex by jamaninja reviews
In a fit of sudden heroism, Miriam Porter saved a little girl from certain death. But the girl turned out to be the president's daughter. So now who's going to save Miriam from falling in love with the president's sexy son? Oh, shenanigans...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 80,624 - Reviews: 430 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 7/21/2011 - Complete
Everything We're Suppose To Be by eiji CaReIn reviews
Arrogant boy. Smart girl. Love/Hate Relationship. And a whole lot of humor. See how two people turn long time friendship into something deeper. P.s. This was for our English Class so it's a short story. This is my first story here. Hope you like it.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,162 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/13/2011 - Complete
Blame the Neighborhood Cat by jaliwo reviews
It all started when I was caught having a staring contest with the neighborhood cat by the quiet, brooding Josh Riley. That damned orange cat was the reason I started noticing Josh more, including the fact that he made skinny jeans look good.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 43,703 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 3/20/2011 - Published: 2/3/2011 - Complete
Weightless by Sycelia reviews
Complete. Every girl wants to meet the boy who makes her feel light; happy - who makes her feel weightless. I met a boy who made me feel like a ten-ton elephant - too bad he was my only ticket to getting the man of my dreams.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 67,253 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Complete
You're Not My Type by realize reviews
You rank maybe a 6.450903 on the hotness scale out of 10, and that’s on your good days. Sure, some days I find myself staring into your dull brown eyes a little longer than necessary, but I could get 11s if I tried. So don’t think you’re anything special.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 776 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Complete
In The Cookie Jar by productofdreams reviews
-which is where my hand is at the moment. That is, if the Cookie Jar is the school's notorious bad boy's back pocket with the whole school watching on. "What do you think you're doing?" "Er..." oneshot
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,932 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 1,033 - Follows: 72 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Complete
Right Off the Donkey by Bingo reviews
Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now, I'd like to take a moment, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I fell off a donkey and got quite a scare. ONESHOT. Set in Egypt.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,378 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Published: 4/7/2010 - Complete
Blue Eyes by dear-llama reviews
One-shot. "What's wrong?" Before I knew it, he had placed himself squarely in my path. And – dare I say it – he actually sounded a little angry and hurt. "Why are you not stalking me anymore?"
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,413 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 853 - Follows: 58 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Complete
None Other Than by Mac Vicchrilli reviews
You think I like him? You've got to be kidding. Darren Teigan is the most stubborn, pompous, pigheaded, egotistical creature that ever existed." Emma says nothing and I blanch. "He's... right behind me, isn't he..." COMPLETE.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 91,387 - Reviews: 650 - Favs: 1,331 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 8/17/2006 - Complete
That Stupid Idiot by IncapableDreams reviews
COMPLETE. I just wanted to sleep through Sex Ed class, but it doesn't seem that he was going to let me. Then he claims that I'm a stalker, decides to sit with me at my lovely loner table, and plants himself right into my life. So much for staying a loner.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 64,346 - Reviews: 884 - Favs: 1,035 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Complete
Battle Scars by White Rose Blossom reviews
“So I take it I’m not getting any tonight?” That WOULD be the first thing he says to me when he finds out we're locked in a room together. So even with "No" for an answer, how is it I find myself in bed with him, falling harder with every passing second?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,570 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 1,313 - Follows: 95 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Complete
Luciology by skankasaurus reviews
“Um, hello,” I said weakly, and I didn't fail to notice the way he was alternating his stares between me and the fish. “It's nice to meet you.” “...Were you just talking to your fish?”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 40,137 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 503 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 11/22/2007
Picture Perfect by candii-apple reviews
How to win over the girl of your dreams: have her catch you wearing nothing but a pair of hot pink, Disney Princess patterned boxers, attempting to photocopy your ass. Humilating? You have no idea. ONESHOT
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,353 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 24 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Complete
False Facades by Maeven reviews
Sam Westlane is the new kid in the famous all boys Crestan High School for the rich and the spoiled ... There's only one problem. Sam is a girl.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,525 - Reviews: 7254 - Favs: 6,311 - Follows: 969 - Updated: 1/5/2009 - Published: 9/5/2003 - Complete
Complications by Ravina reviews
No spark?" he asked, sounding curious. "Huh?" "When we did the whole hand-shaking spark?" "No...none." What an absolutely awkward conversation to have with a guy I had known for 10 minutes. "Well that clears things up then. We'll be friends."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,477 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
Arrogant, Hot, Rich Boys by buzzgirl37 reviews
“Because he’s confident.” “I’d call it arrogance.” “Because he’s hot.” “He’s not my type.” “Because he’s rich.” “I’m not that type of girl.” Quick one-shot. Desperate need of criticism people! ...Please.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Complete
Hugs and Kisses by this is the life reviews
ONEshot. - She is the type of person who likes hugs and kisses. Cuddles and touches. But he isn't. And sadly, she doesn't know.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,159 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 928 - Follows: 60 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
A Little Bit Crazy by TurtleGoddess reviews
Carrie, a self-proclaimed book nerd, thought she would spend a quiet summer working at Angelo's, a crazy Italian pizza place. She didn't think a weird guy would come into the restaurant and hit on her - or that he would actually be a spy from Pizza Hut.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 63,636 - Reviews: 544 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 7/11/2008 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Complete
The Desk by EruptingFender9 reviews
If you want to be more specific, the writing on the desk is what really changed my life. Scribbled across the surface of that life-changing desk in the back of that history classroom was a three month conversation with a boy I’d never even met.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,078 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 5/29/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Complete
Blushing Bosom Buddy by ALY55A reviews
I fell in love... with embarassing Mattie Jacobs. Too bad he caught on and learned a few tricks of his own.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,052 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 24 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Complete
Emery & Me by In.the.Wardrobe reviews
He looked towards my waist before groaning and looking away. “Look what you’re wearing.” Confused, I glanced down, and immediately realised the dilemma. I was in my underwear. “Oh.” [COMPLETE]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 75,512 - Reviews: 1354 - Favs: 2,235 - Follows: 550 - Updated: 12/24/2007 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Complete
And all I wanted to do was play Videogames by Pinkamoo reviews
“Miss Templeton are you aware that at 10:35 am this same day you were conversing with a criminal?” the guy inquired. I battered my eyelashes at him confusedly.“Sir,” I said flatly “At 10:35 this morning I was collecting my dry cleaning.” [ONESHOT]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,484 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 21 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Complete
Walls Apart by bangbangstartagain reviews
[COMPLETE] She liked rock music. He preferred classical. She said what she thought. He thought before he said. She was from the 21st Century. He was from the 19th. There were more than walls keeping them apart.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 79,951 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 961 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 9/12/2007 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Complete
Smooth Move by DancingChaChaFruit reviews
.FIN. I was starting to think he was my bad luck charm. After all, it was no coincidence that I embarrassed myself every time I saw him. Just throw in bookstores, sisters, best friends, blind dates, and dentists, and you’ve got my newly complicated life.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 123,225 - Reviews: 1412 - Favs: 1,416 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 8/10/2007 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
Breathtakingly Gorgeous by xoxluurve reviews
[ONE SHOT] “I'm already in love with someone,” I said. “And who is this supposed moron,” he muttered darkly. I turned and looked at him. Oh God, here goes the last shred of dignity I own. I took a deep breath. “You.”
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 1,376 - Follows: 109 - Published: 6/6/2007 - Complete
Misappropriated by Juneaux reviews
Jane, I wasn't going to tell you, but there a guy who's been drawing you for the past half hour or so...'
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,637 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 18 - Published: 4/25/2007 - Complete
565 Ways to Say No by q is for quirks reviews
Emerald knew there was trouble when she woke up and saw a sign slapped on her window that read in red bubble letters, 'U Complete Me'.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,256 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Complete
The Ways of Magic, rewritten by Maelan Peredhil reviews
Well, the revising has begun; here are the first five chapters. I am posting this as its own story to be able to compare it to the original. If you're reading the original, read this and tell me what you think!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,700 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/8/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Just HAD to Kiss the Toad reviews
Sarah Delanty is the kind of girl who hates romance, so please don't tell her friends about the slight crush she has on someone. When her and Jacob Lungster's paths combine in an unusual way, a lot of drama is bound to happen, especially when Alex steps in the picture. Now complete!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 25,686 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/6/2014 - Published: 9/9/2012 - Complete
Not Cliché, Werewolf Parody
Third installment of my non-cliche'd series of mythical creatures falling for ratty humans with ambitions in the future containing metal baseball bats.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 873 - Published: 9/9/2012 - Complete
Cursed For Love reviews
"Matt, what's going on?" I asked him slowly. "Ahh... There's... Well, um, you see... Ikindofmaybemighthavesetthis allupsoIcouldhangoutwithyou."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,402 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/15/2012 - Complete
Not Cliche, Ghost Parody reviews
Sequel to my oh-so-wonderful vampire parody. You don't have to read that one to enjoy this one as they are two seperate stories under the same name. So enjoy and understand why ghosts shouldn't have cool powers.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Complete
Not Cliche, Vampire Parody reviews
For those of you who hate cliche vampire stories, then this is for you. WARNING: rated T for the not-so-violent violence, if you know what I mean ; .
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Complete