i'm merri. for so long, i haven't let anyone on this site know my name, or anything about me. i think to think of myself as a private person, but now... now i have nothing to keep in my closet full of skeletons anymore, and the only secret i'm hiding is how much time, dedication, and inspiration goes into my poetry.
i may only be fourteen, but i've fallen in and out of love with a human being who, for the month of march, treated me like a waste of space. it wasn't healthy, yet i let myself fall over and over and over again, resulting in more damage to my already weak frame. i needed this one person to hold me up, yet i was a doormat my ex could step on. and now... i'm never going to let a person like they were kill me slowly, replace my heartstrings, and tear them out again.
i have plenty of time left to fall in love the right way- no strings attached, just... love. love isn't pain or cutting, or manipulating yourself to need someone... it's about two people joining their independent hearts, souls, minds, and bodies to become one with a pure, wonderful feeling. my love was that at first- but i let myself change into a depressed punching bag just to keep it. i was led on, tortured, humiliated and destroyed, and now, I'm done for good. i'm not in love with my ex anymore, rather who they were before they became who they are... and unfortunately, love doesn't always last forever. good people can change, despite what they say to convince you they're the same.
i've also been bullied and i'm a recovering/former self-harmer. if you ever need to talk, i promise you i'm here, and i will never leave your side. promises aren't meant to be broken and then put back together- they're meant to last forever, untainted. i promise you that i will be here. you can PM me or Kik me. i love you all so much.
you deserve to love you so much, too, because unlike i was told, you are totally, completely, beautifully worth it.
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